Could you date someone that doesn't own a car?

[janiebaby]

WOULD PPL FEEL THE SAME IF A WOMAN DIDNT HAVE A CAR?

Alot of men do feel this way and some men don't. I guess it depends on the person especially people that feel that men should do certain things and women should do certain things.

For example on this board alone women have said things like: women should cook, clean and work.

Well men should chaffeur, fix things around that clean house and work.

Men and women are different in different ways and I respect that. I know I'm not quick to jump out and open a door for a man unless I walk through it first and hold it open for him but I expect doors to be opened for me. I also treat men with the respect and proper care that I would like but I expect it to be a little different because I'm a lady.

 

[Windsy]

A man should feel the same way that I do. He should want a woman to have the minimum that he has also. Now when I say the minimum, I mean that you should have a job, (income isn't an issue, just be employed), a place to call home (the size of your house/apartment doesn't matter, could be an efficient, just have a place to call your own), a vehicle (doesn't have to be a fancy car, just have a vehicle to get from point A to point B) and some money in the bank (don't need to be a millionaire, just have something to fall back on). If your car is in the shop that's different from not having one and wanting me to pick you up or even trying to drop me off at work and take my vehicle - HECK NO!!!

 

[JamericanGurl]

Only if I lived in NYC...Otherwise hecks no....My name ain't Hoke Colburn

 

[hennagirl]

A man should feel the same way that I do. He should want a woman to have the minimum that he has also. Now when I say the minimum, I mean that you should have a job, (income isn't an issue, just be employed), a place to call home (the size of your house/apartment doesn't matter, could be an efficient, just have a place to call your own), a vehicle (doesn't have to be a fancy car, just have a vehicle to get from point A to point B) and some money in the bank (don't need to be a millionaire, just have something to fall back on). If your car is in the shop that's different from not having one and wanting me to pick you up or even trying to drop me off at work and take my vehicle - HECK NO!!!

I like your philosophy. I don't understand why women expect men to have more than they do. If a woman doesn't have a car, she rides the train/bus, takes a taxi, rents a car, walks or gets rides from friends just like a man without a car. Why would the introduction of a date make a woman act as if she is incapable of getting from Point A to Point B without a car? There seems to be an air of disdain for a man without a car, where is the disdain for a woman without a car? This seems like an entitlement issue and I am left to wonder why a woman would be entitled to something she couldn't get for herself.

 

[BAP28]

and this was exactly my point well said..henna

im not talking about the OP but there are chicks who dont have a car living at home with their momma but are like "he better have a car" his own place and yadda yadda...

or a woman who lives on her own but dont have a car..its the same thing...should a man automatically be driving a chick around all the tiem and picking her up nah he shouldn't have to...

i dont demand anything i dont have myself from a man and i respect the same in return..




QUOTE=hennagirl;2555263]I like your philosophy. I don't understand why women expect men to have more than they do. If a woman doesn't have a car, she rides the train/bus, takes a taxi, rents a car, walks or gets rides from friends just like a man without a car. Why would the introduction of a date make a woman act as if she is incapable of getting from Point A to Point B without a car? There seems to be an air of disdain for a man without a car, where is the disdain for a woman without a car? This seems like an entitlement issue and I am left to wonder why a woman would be entitled to something she couldn't get for herself.[/QUOTE]

 

[coconow2007]

So this guy sends me a message on the infamous website myspace, turns out we are both in the Navy and his squadron is attached to the ship I am on, we just never saw each other until after I received his message. We begin to send messages back and forth for a while and he asked me to meet up with him at the bowling alley on base (which happens to be 20 minutes from my house). That day I tell him I can't make it but we could do something the following night, that's when he tells me that he doesn't own a car and he would need to be picked up. I tell him that's fine but at the same time I'm thinking will I have to pick him up all of the time, does he plan on getting a car, etc. I asked him why he doens't have a car and his answer was "I just don't have one." Am I being petty? I'm thinking I would kind of feel uncomfortable driving him around all of the time if we were to start dating. So my question to you ladies is could you date someone that doesn't own a car?

No I wouldn't - when I was younger I did once but not again.

 

[tatje]

Could I date someone that doesn't own a car?

Does he have his own place? Does he own his own business? Is he getting an MBA or a law degree? Did he just finish buying his mom, sister and everyone else a home before taking car of himself?

If he can't answer yes to any of these questions, then no I wouldn't.

Since we are dating, I believe he is to be courting me. Not the other way around. How would he do that with no car? I have a car, then you should have one to.

Even a hooptie cost 500. I hate those things but it's something.

 

[SkinnyMocah]

Sometimes I am able to overlook it but it depends on where you live. Here? Almost impossible to be without a car. I started seeing a man with no car and almost immediately I became his driver. When I'm ready to go, I'm ready to go! Gotta pull out the train schedule and plan something 4.5 hours out so he has time to catch the bus to the bus to the train to the bus to the bus to 6 blocks from your huse, can you come get him? Lawd no!

And Marta does not go everywhere, all the time. Even if you can get a train, you still have to be picked up at the Marta station. And sometimes men without cars have a habit of getting indignant when you aren't able to come and get them, or give them a ride to where they need to go or to the Marta station. If we go somewhere and he's ready to go and I am not, here comes the "*sigh... whenever you're ready, I'm ready...*sigh*" Enough with the histrionics. I'll leave when I am ready!

This one guy told me had no intention of buying a car because he had plenty of friends with cars. Boy, BYE!

Not only that but to not come up offa some gas money, as high as gas prices are?

No thanks. I'll avoid the drama where that is concerned and just say NO.

 

[frizzy]

Could I date someone that doesn't own a car?

Does he have his own place? Does he own his own business? Is he getting an MBA or a law degree? Did he just finish buying his mom, sister and everyone else a home before taking car of himself?

If he can't answer yes to any of these questions, then no I wouldn't.

Since we are dating, I believe he is to be courting me. Not the other way around. How would he do that with no car? I have a car, then you should have one to.

Even a hooptie cost 500. I hate those things but it's something.

**clapping smilie** I totally agree, especially with the bolded part.

ETA--when I was single...any guy I picked up in my car was a friend, a platonic friend, I have no desire for you to be my man.

 

[simplertimes]

No......just no!

 

[Vet27]

no.... i have a car u should have one too.

 

[BobbieDoll]

Well how is he suppose to take you out on dates? Oh wait that is where you and your car come in the picture. See he won't mind you picking him and taking him home and you have to drive yourself back home at night or he'll start asking you to take him to run some errands and borrow your car. I remember my ex boyfriend didn't have a car at the time(, but was in the process of looking for one) he was at my house and his mother asked him if after he got off of work could he take his little brother to school for her. Mind you, he didn't have a car, but she is asking him to take somebody somewhere. When he brought that to my attention I was like was she planning on you taking the train and bus to pick your brother up since you don't have a car? he got mad at me and said that his family is a part of him and that I should be willing to help out in anyway I can. I was like I don't owe you are your mammy nothing. So to answer you question no I would not date a man who doesn't have a car.

Sorry but the bold part was so funny to me!

 

[BobbieDoll]

I think there should be two questions:

Would you date a man with no car if you own a car?
Would you date a man with no car if you did not own a car either?
I would be interested in why women with no car would require a man to have one.

As we don't really know each other here in cyberworld you would not know this about me without me telling you but I would never require anyone that I date to have something that I don't have myself, if that's the case most of the guys would have been out of the picture a long time ago simply for the fact that I own a house and the last few guys I dated lived in apartments. So the answers to your questions are probably not, depends on what else he has going in his life (maybe somethings are just not in place for him to have one) and yes.

 

[hennagirl]

As we don't really know each other here in cyberworld you would not know this about me without me telling you but I would never require anyone that I date to have something that I don't have myself, if that's the case most of the guys would have been out of the picture a long time ago simply for the fact that I own a house and the last few guys I dated lived in apartments. So the answers to your questions are probably not, depends on what else he has going in his life (maybe somethings are just not in place for him to have one) and yes.

MissBobbie, in retrospect, I should have started a separate thread. It was clear from your post that you had a car and the very legitimate decision to make about entering a somewhat one-sided relationship. I am geniunely interested in why women expect to be given the basics they have not managed to acquire themselves. That is why I phrased the questions as I did. I apologize for any misunderstanding.

 

[frizzy]

If I didn't have a car, I still wouldn't date a guy without one. Nope, somebody gotta have something.

I'm good and grown, and I'm speaking from that age range. Nothing is less attractive to me than a guy sitting on your porch/stoop when you get home 'cause his friend Bobo was coming this way and he caught a ride. Hasn't happened to me, but I've seen it done.

 

[hennagirl]

If I didn't have a car, I still wouldn't date a guy without one. Nope, somebody gotta have something.

I'm good and grown, and I'm speaking from that age range. Nothing is less attractive to me than a guy sitting on your porch/stoop when you get home 'cause his friend Bobo was coming this way and he caught a ride. Hasn't happened to me, but I've seen it done.

I wonder if there are men with cars who won't date women who don't have a car. Nothing may be less attractive to a man with assets than a woman good and grown with no car and living in an apartment.

 

[adf23]

No I would not. I have a car....then again I live in TX. My answer may be diff if I lived someplace where a car isn't completely necessary (New York City for example).

 

[JamericanGurl]

 

[frizzy]

I wonder if there are men with cars who won't date women who don't have a car. Nothing may be less attractive to a man with assets than a woman good and grown with no car and living in an apartment.

You'd better bet it. Men are pickier and choosier than women these days.

 

[BobbieDoll]

MissBobbie, in retrospect, I should have started a separate thread. It was clear from your post that you had a car and the very legitimate decision to make about entering a somewhat one-sided relationship. I am geniunely interested in why women expect to be given the basics they have not managed to acquire themselves. That is why I phrased the questions as I did. I apologize for any misunderstanding.

That's fine. I see where you are coming from and somewhat agree but like I said before I wouldn't require someone to have something that I don't have but at the same time we both have to bring something to the table. If I didn't have a car there would be no problem, we could ride the bus together and be happy all day everyday.

 

[BobbieDoll]

LOL

 

[janiebaby]

You'd better bet it. Men are pickier and choosier than women these days.

Please believe it!









Please




Believe




It!

 

[RubyWoo]

Yes I would and I have. Before I had a car and dated men without cars, we had to take public transportation. Taking public transportation was fun for me especially since the guys were great. And most of my dates that required public trans were some of the best dates I had. The man I'm dating now didn't have a car when we met and he wasn't too keen on me driving places. He is a good man so I wouldn't have thought to overlook him because he didn't have a car. He doesn't like depending on people and definitely didn't want me to feel like he was taking advantage especially when I would offer. He also used to rent cars frequently so that kind of offset having me driving all the time. However, he has a car now and I know that I won't have to use my car anymore when we go out. In the end, having a car is a plus but definitely not a necessity.

 

[janiebaby]

Yes I would and I have. Before I had a car and dated men without cars, we had to take public transportation. Taking public transportation was fun for me especially since the guys were great. And most of my dates that required public trans were some of the best dates I had. The man I'm dating now didn't have a car when we met and he wasn't too keen on me driving places. He is a good man so I wouldn't have thought to overlook him because he didn't have a car. He doesn't like depending on people and definitely didn't want me to feel like he was taking advantage especially when I would offer. He also used to rent cars frequently so that kind of offset having me driving all the time. However, he has a car now and I know that I won't have to use my car anymore when we go out. In the end, having a car is a plus but definitely not a necessity.

I had a guy like this and he was the best!

I think the consensus is mostly if you don't have it don't expect someone else to have it and if you do have it and they don't then they must be self-sufficient like the guy mentioned above.

 

[SkinnyMocah]

You know... I kind of have an unpopular opinion where this is concerned. I've always said that I want a man to come to me on the same level or above where I am. I have a place to live, a vehicle, a job, no children, and I support myself. However I'm at a point in my life where I am looking for more than just a date, and for SOME men in SOME situations, it's not tit for tat with me. Turning the tables doesn't work for every situation because some things are more acceptable for women than they are for men. I really expect a man to fulfill traditional male roles in my life-- I'm not looking for one of these modern metro sexual fair is fair kinda dudes. I'm going to have a completely separate role to fill in his life.

NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE... at this point in my life any man that approaches me wanting to date should be ready for something more than a casual encounter. So, if a man is stepping to me, wanting to date me, talking about being my man, and wanting to enter into a relationship with me, he needs to have his **** together. REGARDLESS of what I have, I'm not courting him. HE'S courting ME. There is no man that is going to be able to court me from the Marta train. If I don't have a car and he's gonna be salty about that, he can be salty and not be with me... in this city I'm sure he only has to step outside the door and he'll be attacked by many a ho with a car, if that's what's important to him.

What is important to ME is knowing I am getting into a relationship with a man who stands on his own two feet. Like I said, certain things are more acceptable for women than for men. Women can live at home well into their 20's and it's not looked down upon like it would be for a man to be that age and still live at home. We expect men to get UP and OUT from under his momma and prove he can provide for himself and a family. Women often go from daddy's house to hubby's house and no one thinks twice about it. It would be perfectly fine for a woman to be dropped off and picked up by her man but turn the tables and I'd roll my eyes at a man that had to be dropped off and picked up everyday.

To me having a vehicle is a sign that he's a grownup and if he's stepping to me, a grownup is what he needs to be. I know me and I know I am no slouch... even if I did not have a vehicle he would need to be ON his game. You can't talk about dating me and then pull out a marta train schedule.

 

[RubyWoo]

I had a guy like this and he was the best!

Yup! He is big on pride and letting the 'man be a man'.

 

[Caramela]

To me having a vehicle is a sign that he's a grownup and if he's stepping to me, a grownup is what he needs to be.

(I don't want to turn it into a personal attack on the person who wrote the comment so I blocked out her name ;o)
I don't want any one of us to believe that a car defines a man's character. Owning a car is no more a symbol of being an adult as anything else. I know more than few men who own cars, and act very childish. Having said that, a man who didn't have a j-o-b... now that would be different.

 

[Kurlee]

Well how old is he? I try not to judge people about things like that. U never know what their situation is or where they are coming from. I think its too soon to tell if hes worth it or not.

 

[hennagirl]

You know... I kind of have an unpopular opinion where this is concerned. I've always said that I want a man to come to me on the same level or above where I am. I have a place to live, a vehicle, a job, no children, and I support myself. However I'm at a point in my life where I am looking for more than just a date, and for SOME men in SOME situations, it's not tit for tat with me. Turning the tables doesn't work for every situation because some things are more acceptable for women than they are for men. I really expect a man to fulfill traditional male roles in my life-- I'm not looking for one of these modern metro sexual fair is fair kinda dudes. I'm going to have a completely separate role to fill in his life.

NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE... at this point in my life any man that approaches me wanting to date should be ready for something more than a casual encounter. So, if a man is stepping to me, wanting to date me, talking about being my man, and wanting to enter into a relationship with me, he needs to have his **** together. REGARDLESS of what I have, I'm not courting him. HE'S courting ME. There is no man that is going to be able to court me from the Marta train. If I don't have a car and he's gonna be salty about that, he can be salty and not be with me... in this city I'm sure he only has to step outside the door and he'll be attacked by many a ho with a car, if that's what's important to him.

What is important to ME is knowing I am getting into a relationship with a man who stands on his own two feet. Like I said, certain things are more acceptable for women than for men. Women can live at home well into their 20's and it's not looked down upon like it would be for a man to be that age and still live at home. We expect men to get UP and OUT from under his momma and prove he can provide for himself and a family. Women often go from daddy's house to hubby's house and no one thinks twice about it. It would be perfectly fine for a woman to be dropped off and picked up by her man but turn the tables and I'd roll my eyes at a man that had to be dropped off and picked up everyday.

To me having a vehicle is a sign that he's a grownup and if he's stepping to me, a grownup is what he needs to be. I know me and I know I am no slouch... even if I did not have a vehicle he would need to be ON his game. You can't talk about dating me and then pull out a marta train schedule.

I wonder how many men feel they are looking for something more than a casual encounter and are looking for woman who stands on her own two feet. Since as you state, men do the courting, I wonder which women the men with their "**** together" choose -women who expect things they don't have or women who work to have their own things?

 

[Integrity]

there are also the types who do not own a car for environmental reasons.

so long has he has a license I am fine. We can hire a car for dates etc