Everyone has different life experiences. I personally know of 2 women who had serious health issues due to their husband's extramarital activities. Both contracted STD's which lead to cervical cancer and death for one woman at the age of 29 and the other had an infection that left her sterile. For me it has nothing to do with being threatened by another woman. It has to do with morals and my female health. I know LHCF would say that you should use condoms even within your marriage but that doesn't make sense to me. If I feel the need to protect myself against STDs from my husband I don't think I need to walk down the isle with that man.
I was just about to type this. Find a black Muslim by the name of Yusef Muhammad who will knock your box out and make your screams cry through the burgular windows while the children run in and out of the metal-gate front door.
1. Muslims - check
2. Big, black peen - check
3. Poverty - check
I love Barbie so much. Only she can get away with saying certain things. Here I am a long-time married woman not bothered in the least by her admission of an affair with a married man and not gaf about the wife. Like really? But Barbie can say and do almost anything. IDK whyerplexed. She really is .
Barbie is amusing. This place wouldn't be as much fun without her.
junipertree,While all of this is true, doesn't some of this conflict with your original position which was not to take money out of your home? I can understand working it out in a one off affair(s) but a mistress by nature requires upkeep.
I dont know man. I used to not understand barbie at all. She was like alien creature to me. Like who is this long winded girl always running her mouth? I never disagreed with her though, just didnt understand her thats all. But once i started going through ish in my marriage, i completely and totally get her.
I used to be an angel. Marriage turned me into a totally different person so i get it. Now i look forward to her posts and honeybee, femmefatale1981 and several other people. They learn my naive arse.
She had tested negative for HPV before she got married and she had been married for years. So yeah she got it from him.I assume the woman that passed had HPV that lead to cervical cancer? Unless she was a virgin how did she know she got it from her husband? If she was then maybe he carried it before marriage? Either way I'm sorry she lost her life.
this has nothing to do with the post of mine that you quoted, but since we're here, fyi, your "morals" have nothing to do with what another woman chooses to do or not do, so yeah, my original point still stands. not to put too fine a point on it, but blaming a third woman who never should have been there for what your partner brought home to you is basically the definition of being preoccupied with another woman. so....
Don't let this thread fool you. True love exists, whether people believe it or not.Welp, from reading this thread I'm pretty darned sure already that I'm just not cut out for the potential drama, backstabbing, and/or the fear that I caught an STD.
I'll just be that "spinster lady" who goes out, travels the world, brings back little trinkets and souvenirs to her nieces/nephews, and goes home to her 3 or 4 cats.
Don't let this thread fool you. True love exists, whether people believe it or not.
junipertree, a) Mistresses exist and might be helpful to some. b) I won't allow it in my relationship with this man at this time. Those points aren't mutually exclusive. But let me just say, the only thing we get consistently right is the sex, so I don't see me giving that up anytime soon.
LMFAO...yep! SophieDulce how you know?
i agree. Relationships are mirrors. Some people are fine with relationships or marriages that are held together by mind games, manipulation and various assorted threats. Other people want something more authentic. Control is an illusion.and to some degree you get the relationships you create. If you want masterminding and Jedi mind tricks and backstabbing and cheating and sidepiece status you can certainly make that true for you.
The problem I have with the moral stance is that it's not universal. You might think it is, but it isn't. For 99% of human history, marriage was about maintaining the orderly transfer of property. In those periods, mistresses and all assorted varieties of sex workers were necessary to the societal structure. For example, the Middle Ages, a time when the Church ran everything:
Do you think they accumulated bad karma? Shoot, them heaux might be useful now.
You might think, 'Well, marriage is different now, it's based on love', but for people born into wealth, the old ways still hold true. And for those who plan to acquire wealth in this generation, who study how others accomplished it, dissolving a union whose primary goal is to siphon wealth to the next generation over what? momentary weakness? would be head-shakingly frivolous. Many women would tell you, 'Let him have his whores', and really mean it.
I say all that to say, there are times and circumstances when mistresses (and assorted heaux) provide a valuable service. For some, those times and circumstances exist even today. That's just the way of the world.
I would never ever want my daughter to be to a mistress but I also want her to be aware that these type of relationships exist. I would never want her to be in a situation where she is naive to the real world because I held the truth from Her. I don't believe in living in fear or denying myself the opportunity to experience love and commitment even if that puts me in vulnerable position. (Aka marriage)The only thing we can do is be true to ourselves, choose the best man who is in line with your morals and values and hope for the best. Some women don't mind cheating others do.For me personally I don't think I could get past it, my love is conditional. I don't allow fear to govern my life decisions.i agree. Relationships are mirrors. Some people are fine with relationships or marriages that are held together by mind games, manipulation and various assorted threats. Other people want something more authentic. Control is an illusion.
I think for some, it's an emotional high or an ego stroke. They think the man is getting something from them that the wife is lacking. It makes them feel special I guess. Oftentimes, they are just a receptacle for some wayward man. Very few women actually walk away from those relationships financially better off than they arrived.
In real life, I know of three women that regularly (more than once) dated married men, and they are all a mess. Pretty women with poor self-esteem, messy lives, and just general aimlessness, like you can tell their lives aren't going anywhere. They exist on rapidly changing highs and lows. They pretend that they are so unaffected and detached but it's not true.
I won't generalize and say this is true for every sidepiece, obviously not.
I believe this is true. Many women believe their lotus flower is made of gold and nectar and that they are the saviors of neglected husbands. When in reality the man is using them and the woman is getting an ego boost thinking she is favored so much she can make a man disregard his marriage vows.
I have been in the position where someone else's man was checking for me. And it felt good to my ego. I thought there must be something about me that is better than her and it made me feel special. I'm not ashamed to share this because, though I never entertained him, I learned a lot from the experience. I was young and naive but grew to understand that if a man is in a relationship with someone and is checking for you, then he is NOT a man of integrity and you are NOT the first person his wandering eye has landed on. And my self-esteem shouldn't be built on the "perceived" shortcomings of another woman nor the attention of a man.
Also don't let it fool you, because a lot of people bigging this up and putting on the brave have either a 1) history of general hopelessness in their posts (possibly unbeknownst to them ), 2) a sense of whimsy that will allow them to tell you their own damn self not to try the stuff they do at home (I love Barbie but ever notice how she'll be like "ey. I'm a do as I say not as I do person" she's letting you know right now she doesn't guarantee this stuff she's saying so please don't follow it in your real life and get your feelings hurt. And honeybee is one of my favorite posters but girl while you're in here posting philosophical references for cheating you made sure to say "but not for this man at this time FOR ME. I see you!).Don't let this thread fool you. True love exists, whether people believe it or not.
After running into many married woman (during my tenure helping with an hiv fundraiser) who contracted Aids if I was straight I would never stop using protection, ever. The woman I was working with caught it from her husband. She is dead he is still living I believe. Women in "monogamous relationships" are catching it from their partners in record numbers (and still not leaving but that's another subject). In truth I would never trust anyone that much with a penis. Nope. Never. Jaded.She had tested negative for HPV before she got married and she had been married for years. So yeah she got it from him.