Make him feel like a man

[Honey Bee]

At first I treated him with respect and kindness because I was so impressed with him. Then, as his imperfections grew more familiar and glaring, I began correcting him as a way of trying to help him improve. From my point of view, if he would just be more ambitious at work, more romantic at home and clean up after himself, everything would be fine. I told him as much.

Needless to say, he didn't respond well to this. In fact, the more I tried to control him, the more strained things got. While my intentions were good, I was clearly on the road to marital hell. The more he resisted, the more I tried to control him, and the more frustrated and irritable we both got. In no time I was exhausted from trying to run my life and his. Even worse, I was becoming estranged from the man who had formerly made me so happy. Our marriage was in serious trouble and it had only been four years since we'd taken our vows.


The Surrendered Wife Ch. 1

Just based on the OP, I already knew she was already well on her way to mothering him. I recommended this specific book for a reason, and it wasn't about the big piece of chicken.

Hope things work out Perfexion. You'll probably need this in a few months, tops, especially with a new baby.

 

[Perfexion]

That's funny Honey_Bee. I just started reading this book not too long ago.

 

[Honey Bee]

That's funny @Honey Bee. I just started reading this book not too long ago.

Perfexion, that is funny. So, what do you think about it? I was skeptical at first, still am a lot of times, but it seems to be working. In my situation, I was tired of being 'the one who knows everything.' It got to the point where I was like, don't ask me ish, lol, figure it out yourself. The lesson 'sticks' better that way imo. Different from your situation, but similar in that these are things a grown man should naturally know.

 

[formysanity]

Perfexion, that is funny. So, what do you think about it? I was skeptical at first, still am a lot of times, but it seems to be working. In my situation, I was tired of being 'the one who knows everything.' It got to the point where I was like, don't ask me ish, lol, figure it out yourself. The lesson 'sticks' better that way imo. Different from your situation, but similar in that these are things a grown man should naturally know.

I can't stand having to think for a man.

Anyway OP - I'm not an advocate of divorce but the fact that he was happy to see you busting your as$ whilst heavily pregnant and didn't think it was time to man up and look for a job is really not a good sign. I know how hard it is to motivate yourself after several knock backs so I can sympathise with him but if a wife and baby on the way didn't motivate him then I have real concerns about his character.

However, you are where you are and for your child's sake you have to try to keep your marriage together. It looks like he is the type that needs pushing and guidance and if you're willing to fulfill that role without making him feel like a failure then I think you should try. It's important that you're able to do this without appearing condescending or disdainful because your daughter will pick up on how you talk to him and you don't want her eventually disrespecting her daddy.

 

[Perfexion]

Perfexion, that is funny. So, what do you think about it? I was skeptical at first, still am a lot of times, but it seems to be working. In my situation, I was tired of being 'the one who knows everything.' It got to the point where I was like, don't ask me ish, lol, figure it out yourself. The lesson 'sticks' better that way imo. Different from your situation, but similar in that these are things a grown man should naturally know.

I'm still only on the first chapters. I haven't put anything into practice just yet but I'm definitely going to approach this with an open mind. The first few chapters really speak to me.