He lied about his age.

[Keen]

OP, inserting his name, Google:

"Find First Name, Last Name, City, State"

I did this for my bf who i met online and his name, age and family members (including spouses) will show up on various websites (i.e. Intellius, publicrecords.com, etc.). You can pay for other info such as marriage records/criminal records like i did.

You can say truthfully "You know I Googled you for fun and a couple sites list your age as 40. Isn't that funny? (insert playful laugh)."

If he lies (oh it must be b/c i'm an immigrant, blah, blah, blah) very calmly hand him an envelope containing the print out of the sites and bounce. I'm a fan of classy, yet shrewd exits but do what you will.

You obviously don't need confirmation for yourself but it might be interesting to watch him sweat before you officially put up the deuces.

ETA: my bf is an immigrant too so no matter how beautifully crafted, any excuse that the sites are wrong revolving around that issue is A LIE!!!

After someone at LHCF made a post about zabbasearch.com, I looked up this guy and zabbasearch had conflict info on him and one of them said he was 3 or 4 years older than he told me. I asked him about it and he had to produce his driver licence to prove the site wrong.

 

[ThickHair]

You peeked into his wallet? His private property? Anyhoo, you found out he's a liar....choose another...it ain't worth it.

So what are you going to do OP? If you don't say what you know, you are going to be miserable and you WILL have an outburst and some point in time.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I bet some of you "girl you need to overlook that, everyone lies" people have been 25 for the last 20 years. It's easy to excuse it when you're doing it.

Please, if he felt the need to lie because, let's say he "felt she wouldn't want to be with him because she'd see him as too old" (what other reason could there be?) then hey. It could also be:
"I felt the need to lie about the fact that I have children because I know you wouldn't want to be with me if you really knew." or
"I felt the need to lie about where I really work/my accomplishments because I knew you wouldn't want to be with me if you really knew."

A lie to make a person like you more than they would have if they knew the TRUTH is horrible. That person is a wolf in sheeps clothing, I don't care how "small" you see the lie as being, it's still a LIE in presenting yourself as something you are not to make yourself seem more likable.

I mean even the COUSIN didn't fess up. He had CHANCES and bold faced went along with it. Sickening!!

 

[LovelyNaps26]

After someone at LHCF made a post about zabbasearch.com, I looked up this guy and zabbasearch had conflict info on him and one of them said he was 3 or 4 years older than he told me. I asked him about it and he had to produce his driver licence to prove the site wrong.

i get you but in OP's she knows the information having seen the license and green card. looking online would allow her to bring it up saying that she saw it online (if she doesn't want to mentioned she saw it in his wallet). the only way he could prove otherwise would be to show his license which, unlike your case, would only prove he is a liar.

 

[LiftedUp]

The initial lying about his age I could've bypassed if he took steps to correct it after you got to know each other.

Given that it has been however long and he's still carrying on with the lie, I'd wonder if he has a wife and children in his back pocket as well.

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

I bet some of you "girl you need to overlook that, everyone lies" people have been 25 for the last 20 years. It's easy to excuse it when you're doing it.

Please, if he felt the need to lie because, let's say he "felt she wouldn't want to be with him because she'd see him as too old" (what other reason could there be?) then hey. It could also be:
"I felt the need to lie about the fact that I have children because I know you wouldn't want to be with me if you really knew." or
"I felt the need to lie about where I really work/my accomplishments because I knew you wouldn't want to be with me if you really knew."

A lie to make a person like you more than they would have if they knew the TRUTH is horrible. That person is a wolf in sheeps clothing, I don't care how "small" you see the lie as being, it's still a LIE in presenting yourself as something you are not to make yourself seem more likable.

I mean even the COUSIN didn't fess up. He had CHANCES and bold faced went along with it. Sickening!!

LOL my sisters ex lied to her about how many kids he had. He said he had two then said he really had four. Four baby momma's too. They all lives in four different spots, too. I can't get down with liars.

 

[ladysaraii]

i know everyone's saying how you shouldnt have went through his stuff and and i admit that it may have been a bit of a violation, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. a lying man isn't going to disclose certain things. and its up to you to protect yourself before it goes any further. i'm sure he probably would've come clean weeks or months down the line, where you liked him so much you couldnt see yourself letting him go for something as simple as age. but my thing is, you should know all this up front so you can make your decision. the fact is, he had no problem lying to your face, he gave no indication that it bothered him in the least. i'd be very wary of someone who can so easily look me in the face and lie like that. it's up to you, but i think you should let it go.

Exactly. OP, I would google him like it was suggested and pretend thats how you found out.

I'm not going to come down on you for looking at his license b/c it was there and you need to be able to verify what these negros are telling you

I think I understand where you're coming from. Maybe he feels like age shouldn't matter.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

That's not his decision to make. And if it doesnt matter, he would have been honest. He lied, proving he knows it matters

I also want to add that if a guy lies about his age, he is attempting to take away your choice. People have the right to date who they want to date and if they want to date only a certain age range, they can and should. Waiting until someone has already fallen for you to spring whatever characteristics that you think the other person may not like is not only deceptive, but manipulative.

Exactly!

I have to say I'm really confused about the reponses.

OP, I'd confront him using some google info and see what happens. For me, it would be a wrap

 

[SurferBabe]

I also want to add that if a guy lies about his age, he is attempting to take away your choice. People have the right to date who they want to date and if they want to date only a certain age range, they can and should. Waiting until someone has already fallen for you to spring whatever characteristics that you think the other person may not like is not only deceptive, but manipulative.

...and at the same time, using his lie to get what he wants--a significantly younger woman. He is lying in an attempt to bypass age discrimination while probably discriminating against women closer to his age.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

He wants a woman who is 25 for a reason, and one of those reasons is that younger women are much easier to deceive, control and manipulate. Think about that. If you were 35 he wouldn't pee on you if you were on fire. He's NOT a great wonderful guy. He's on the prowl for a sweet YOUNG thing, and he is willing to do whatever he deems necessary to get that.

This guy is a liar. Straight up.

 

[ladysaraii]

My parents said to keep it moving

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

Thanks for all of the responses ladies.

I didn't really speak with him today even though he called and texted... At this point I'm over the whole thing altogether.

 

[hair_rehab]

I promised myself to never deal with another man that lies. I met one a few years ago who told me he was 23. He later confessed that he was really 20 and apologized and I forgave him. About three weeks later I see him driving around town during the same time that he is supposed to be out of town. I call him and he ignores my calls. I finally send him an angry text telling him that I saw him and he denied that it was him.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Vivez dans lamour, I'm glad to see you making the smart choice. You will save yourself a LOT of heartache and trouble by cutting men loose the FIRST time they show their arse.

 

[MizzBrown]

I promised myself to never deal with another man that lies. I met one a few years ago who told me he was 23. He later confessed that he was really 20 and apologized and I forgave him. About three weeks later I see him driving around town during the same time that he is supposed to be out of town. I call him and he ignores my calls. I finally send him an angry text telling him that I saw him and he denied that it was him.

What the hell??!! Its pretty sad that we have to investigate our dates while trying to get to know them. A google & background check won't find enough stuff. You have to dig and snoop to get it

 

[PapillionRouge]

Did u try to Google him to see what comes up? Who knows what else this guy could be lying about, he could be going to Deleware to see his children for all u know.

DRop his lyin ***, and somehow find a way to make him know that you know his true age. Also, do not let him manipulate you with the good ol
" If I had told you the truth you wouldnt be with me" Line.
Thats the oldest trick in the book when lyin *** men get caught, and it says more about THEIR own insecurity rather than ur perceived shallowness if anything else.

Ur intuition made u check his wallet for a reason. Subconsciously I think u knew things werent adding up, no matter how great he apppeared on paper.

U have just dodged a major bullet. Please move on!

 

[Pharmgirl247]

Op,
I think you have hit by a smooth criminal. He purposely left his wallet there for you to check. He lied about his age but lied by go through the man stuff. He probably knows when you went through it and knows why you don't return his calls.

 

[Frostipuff]

I got married before online dating. Anyway, from what I've learned from friends that have met men online, many lie in their profile and have trouble admitting so until they are serious about a woman. In my humble opinion, if you two are hitting it off and you enjoy his company, continue to date him. Do be cautious since he did lie about his age.
Remember, you're dating him. He has not asked for a commitment has he? Have fun.

 

[NOEChic]

I got married before online dating. Anyway, from what I've learned from friends that have met men online, many lie in their profile and have trouble admitting so until they are serious about a woman. In my humble opinion, if you two are hitting it off and you enjoy his company, continue to date him. Do be cautious since he did lie about his age.
Remember, you're dating him. He has not asked for a commitment has he? Have fun.

Lying in unacceptable

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

I mean even the COUSIN didn't fess up. He had CHANCES and bold faced went along with it. Sickening!!

His cousin actually wasn't within earshot of our conversation.. He was asleep on the couch because he had gotten off work and was napping before the drive.

I don't really know if the cousin would've stuck with the story or not, but I'm not really sticking around to find out.

I was going to confront him this morning but the way I look at it, he'll either come up with a good lie to cover himself up, or he'll tell the truth. Either way, the end result will still be the same, which is that he lied.

 

[babyu21]

One of my friends lied to his now wife about his age when they met. He is younger than her and he knew she wouldn't date him if he told her the truth from the jump. He came clean very early on and they are happily married. She even admitted if he told her the truth she wouldn't have given him her number. He was 3 years younger than her when they met.

I am not advocating lying and dishonestly just showing another side of the coin.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

3 or 5 year age + or - fine. But this is 15 years. yikes. OP you won't tell the guy why you are dropping him?

 

[dm81]

One of my friends lied to his now wife about his age when they met. He is younger than her and he knew she wouldn't date him if he told her the truth from the jump. He came clean very early on and they are happily married. She even admitted if he told her the truth she wouldn't have given him her number. He was 3 years younger than her when they met.

I am not advocating lying and dishonestly just showing another side of the coin.

That's the major difference in this case.

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

3 or 5 year age + or - fine. But this is 15 years. yikes. OP you won't tell the guy why you are dropping him?

Is there a point?

I almost feel like me telling him is going to give him the opportunity to try to explain some story or flip it on me and make me the bad guy. I don't know if its worth it to explain it.

 

[NOEChic]

Is there a point?

I almost feel like me telling him is going to give him the opportunity to try to explain some story or flip it on me and make me the bad guy. I don't know if its worth it to explain it.

and that is exactly what he will do. Have second guessing yourself and feeling bad. Just let it go.

 

[cluelezz]

I think if you explained it he might at least learn a lesson. But go with what you feel.

 

[ladysaraii]

I think if you explained it he might at least learn a lesson. But go with what you feel.

This is a 40 yr old man, it's not her job to be teaching him lessons

 

[jenny87]

Is there a point?

I almost feel like me telling him is going to give him the opportunity to try to explain some story or flip it on me and make me the bad guy. I don't know if its worth it to explain it.

I think if ya'll were really hitting it off and liked each other (mutally enjoyed each others company) you should tell him. If for no other reason, I am sure you wouldn't want someone to just drop you and not say why.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

 

[PJaye]

I think if ya'll were really hitting it off and liked each other (mutally enjoyed each others company) you should tell him. If for no other reason, I am sure you wouldn't want someone to just drop you and not say why.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

Discussing the issue with him is unnecessary, IMO, because he will be able to figure things out for himself after being unceremoniously dumped - he will backtrack and dissect their last encounter, and realize that he left his wallet out in the open for her to discover his true age. His suspicions will be confirmed by the nature of the OP’s small talk during their discussion subsequent to her discovery.

Then, he will either: (1) knock off the BS by recognizing that his blatantly deceitful plan failed, or (2) endeavor to lie more effectively in the future and continue playing his reindeer games. This is the same okey doke nonsense people have been perpetrating for generations; it never changes.

 

[runwaydream]

I think if ya'll were really hitting it off and liked each other (mutally enjoyed each others company) you should tell him. If for no other reason, I am sure you wouldn't want someone to just drop you and not say why.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2

IA that she should tell him. send an email if she doesnt want to talk to him or something. im just seeing it like..you guys spent all this time together, got to know each other, enjoyed each others company, and now you're just gonna drop off the face of the earth and ignore his calls? idk.. i mean i can see why some ppl wouldnt want to speak to him, guess i'm just different.

 

[EMJazzy]

my thing is, why is he still single at 40? Have you asked him if he's ever been married or in serious long term relationship? If he says no, then maybe he's one of those guys who have no intentions of ever getting married/committing. I personally think that a 40 year old man who has never been married is a red flag, but that's just something my mama taught me.
And if he has no intentions of being in a committed relationship, it could explain why he'd think he would be able to keep this lie away from you without you ever finding out.

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

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