Are we social beings?

[Maracujá]

We often hear that human beings are social beings and are not meant to live life by themselves, well then how come socializing is so difficult? Before you say "it's difficult for you" hear me out: if socializing was so easy we wouldn't need FB and Twitter right? And something else that comes to mind is the fact that this whole 'single black woman' story that the media is running with is not just happening to us, I have an Algerian friend who is attractive - overweight yes but still attractive - educated and friendly but is having such a hard time finding a significant other. I have another Belgian friend (white) who is beautiful, mentally and physically healthy, educated and a very nice person but she too is having a hard time finding someone. This is not a "woe is me I'm single" type of thread but I was just wondering: if we humans are social being then how come socializing and meeting new people is so da*n hard?

 

[libertysince05]

socialising is difficult because the rest of life gets in the way.
there are different ways of socialising, working in an office is one but the purpose of socialising is different than going to a party.
Its really a matter of learning to socialise effectively.

 

[TexturedTresses]

i think we have facebook and twitter because we are social creatures.

 

[chocolat79]

Part of it is technology (i.e. Twitter/ FB are a double-edged sword) and then there's so many changes/choices in society these days. Back in the day, there were only a few choices for careers, family, socializing, etc., now you can choose to do what you want and be where you want. Plus the Internet has afforded us the opportunity to NOT be social. If you can interact totally via technology, you don't really have to seek "real" socialization. How many people do you see on their phones/laptops/iPads, etc during any given day? When we didn't have all that, we had to either call someone/go see them or say hi in the streets and actually interact face-to-face. Now that's optional.

We're still social creatures, it's just the ways in which we interact are less visible, or actual, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

As children, we dont have as many inhabitions and easily befriend our peers. As we grow older, we are faced with the realities of the world, namely rejection. So we become afraid to reach out and connect with people for fear they will not like us or that they may harm us in some form or fashion.

I agree Facebook and Twitter are so popular because we are social creatures but not because we need more ways to connect. I believe its because we are not connecting physically and we desire to connect, be known, and know about others. So we've built this virtual world where you can reach out to people and if you're rejected, its not as bad, no one knows, and you can easily forget about it. You don't invade people personal space. And you can be anyone you portray yourself to be.

 

[ms.mimi]

because the internet, facebook,twitter,etc....has hurt us. Instead of texting we would pick up the phone and have a conversation. Instead of spending time on a message board we would get together for drinks with some ladies from work. We are more handicapped and lonier than ever.

 

[anon123]

i think we have facebook and twitter because we are social creatures.

Exactly. This is just another form of socializing. Why create these media to talk to each other if we aren't social? We'd just be like "whatever" and chill by ourselves, foraging or something. Why are we all here talking (typing) to one another right now? Because humans (well, most of them) crave social interaction. That doesn't mean that all human relationships are easy. There will be conflicts, missteps, misinterpretations, and not everyone will be as suave as everyone else, but that doesn't mean we aren't fundamentally social.

 

[Maracujá]

Exactly. This is just another form of socializing. Why create these media to talk to each other if we aren't social? We'd just be like "whatever" and chill by ourselves, foraging or something. Why are we all here talking (typing) to one another right now? Because humans (well, most of them) crave social interaction. That doesn't mean that all human relationships are easy. There will be conflicts, missteps, misinterpretations, and not everyone will be as suave as everyone else, but that doesn't mean we aren't fundamentally social.

i think we have facebook and twitter because we are social creatures.

I guess what I mean is why is face to face interaction so difficult if we are social beings? People like to differentiate introverts who tend to be shy from extroverts who are the opposite, but doesn't FB and Twitter negate all this?

 

[SND411]

This is the way homo sapiens evolved. But even in chimps, bonobos, and other primates, socialization is extremely complicated and complex. Humans are no different.

 

[curlyninjagirl]

I'd like to direct your attention to the following thread: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=546955. This and situations like it are why people are having a difficult time finding love and romance. We're afraid because when humans are in relationships they tend to act bat-sheet cray-cray.

 

[Maracujá]

^^^That thread brought some bad memories back, I get what you mean.