Although I mentioned SO, it's more a general question for people in my situation.
It seems like one would have to rush the dating process at least IMO.
@YesToHair! We talked about a baby in the next couple of years but we both feel like marriage before the baby is rushing because of various things in our lives. He's been married before too. He'd be more apt to have a baby and marry later. But what's the incentive to marry me after I have a baby? It seems risky to me.
@hopeful As for a baby, I don't know if I really really want one which is yet another reason this is a silly dilemma because why make plans or worry about something I'm not sold on? It seems more of a fantasy. I want the option, and the option to do it the best way possible. I don't want to do the work of raising a child let alone without the father around to help. I think babies are cute and would fulfill that sense of "family" that I crave. But do I deeply want to be a mother, I don't think so.
@BlackMasterPiece - the marriage in a short period of time also feels risky to me.
@RocStar - marriage is more important to me IF I have a baby. Otherwise I can wait.
Been thinking about this lately and had to just throw it out there, see what thoughts ya'll have.
Three of my close friends are in the same boat but they don't seem to worry about it...at all. One is single, no baby, the other single but wants a baby like yesterday and the other is in a relationship but not ready for marriage and 50/50 on a baby. But he's clear he wants marriage sooner rather than later but she doesn't feel ready.