It seems like you aren't pressed about marriage because he isn't. Perhaps if you were with someone who would actually make it a priority you'd feel differently. Just a thought.
I dont understand his mindset. Planning to bring a life into the world within the next two years is cool, but the prospect of getting engaged within that time is rushing things. I'm not even a marriage nazi, but when the reasoning makes no sense it sets off my BS-ometer.
I'd guess it's because he's divorced. No excuse to mess OP around but it does affect people's views /approach to marriage.
@Fine 4s
It sounds like it would be to your advantage to date multiple men and not limit your options.
I regret spending my early 40's dating one person who claimed to be marriage minded but really wasn't.
It was my 1st post divorce relationship after a long and unfulfilling marriage. I never saw myself having kids with the ex for various reasons but with this guy it was different.
When I was able to clarify what I wanted and needed in a relationship, I realized he couldn't give me that. I kept believing words instead of actions. When a man is trying to build a kingdom with you, always check his actions and don't be afraid to walk away if you know in your heart that staying means settling.
I will probably not have kids and I really am okay with that because motherhood wasn't something I dreamed of all my life. With that being said, if I could go back, I would have dated multiple people. Going forward, I will not be exclusive with anyone until I have an engagement ring.
Men know if the woman they are dating is the one they intend to marry, fairly early on. If you have been dating for over 1 year and marriage is not on the table and you have expressed your desire to marry and have kids, he is likely wasting your time. You both are at cross purposes. I completely understand wanting to have a child but for me, having a kid out of wedlock is not possible because of my faith (because I don't believe in premarital sex or artificial reproduction). It is a very hard spot to be in...I think you should have a frank conversation with him. Don't be afraid because it's better for you to know.
A childless woman I know who has been with a man for 20+ years told me that she did want to have kids. The guy just never married her. I looked at her like she was crazy. And this negro lives with her in her house. Waiting on a particular man beyond a reasonable time frame is one of the worst things women do and mess up their lives.
Woo Woo Woo (In my Living Single Sinclair voice) don't be sad be proactive figure out what you really want and go get it.This thread is making me quite sad
I'd go to a sperm bank if that was the case. I'm not an advocate for single parent households, but if I saw that window closing then that would be the step I'd take. I would less likely plan to have a baby with an SO.
This thread is making me quite sad