Be Honest: Would You Date ...
- Thread starter loolalooh
- Start date
Here are a few made-up scenarios. Would you date (for marriage) any of these men? Why or why not?
NOTE: ALL the men present themselves as extremely caring, loyal, and of good character. Whether they actually are or not depends on what you find out along the way.
1. 40-year-old man. Divorced. 3 kids and 2 baby mamas. No... Too much baggage
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together. Would rather not... much easier if the gf is dead... (no offense).. but I cant do baby mama drama....
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year. Yes... together we can make something work... With my income, we'll live well... he can go to college if he needs to later in life...
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house. NO.. A lil old for saving some extra money for bills and living with his brother... that's what you do in your 20's not 40's.
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son. Nope... no baby mama and money drama for me... I'm very frugal, and anti-debt naturally.... we would never agree on how to spend our money...
The why (or why not) part is what I really want to know for each scenario.
Answers above in bold...
CarefreeinChicago
Well-Known Member
^^
I would date a man with kids if the mom was dead. I love kids I would get to have fun with them without getting fat.
I would date a man with kids if the mom was dead. I love kids I would get to have fun with them without getting fat.
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
1. 40-year-old man. Divorced. 3 kids and 2 baby mamas.
No. Too old, 3 kids and 2 baby mamas too many.
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together.
No. Age is really pushing it but no go with the kid.
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year.
Too old plus, I've got a Masters and I'm in law school. HAYLE NO. $60,000 a year will not cut it.
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house.
Too old and money situation is a deal breaker.
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son.
Nope. I don't do babymama drama.
No. Too old, 3 kids and 2 baby mamas too many.
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together.
No. Age is really pushing it but no go with the kid.
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year.
Too old plus, I've got a Masters and I'm in law school. HAYLE NO. $60,000 a year will not cut it.
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house.
Too old and money situation is a deal breaker.
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son.
Nope. I don't do babymama drama.
Katherina
Well-Known Member
loolalooh said:
1. No. Tooo much drama and too old
2. No. Kid is too young (not too concerned about there being a breakup 6 months ago). Too old, too.
3. Yes, he gets a date. He's gonna have to impress me in order for me to be serious about him, though.
4. No. Too old. If he were younger in this situation, I'd probably date him, depending on his goals.
5. No. Inconsistent with finances plus has a kid.
ms.mimi
Well-Known Member
Chile me too. Back in the day...before dh
I loved dating different men. I probably wouldn't make any of them my boyfriend except #3.
bosswitch
Well-Known Member
Disregarding age, these are the only ones I would consider seriously. I don't do baby mamas or instability. If those were my only options I'd rather get a cat instead...
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together.
Maybe. Depending on what he did for a living and how he is as a father
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year.
I'd date him, but not seriously. I can't seriously date a man who makes less than me, esp at his age
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together.
Maybe. Depending on what he did for a living and how he is as a father
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year.
I'd date him, but not seriously. I can't seriously date a man who makes less than me, esp at his age
Last edited:
#3 is winning 
I don't want to deal with existing children/ex-wives, and want someone who is stable and situated (or clearly on an amazing upward path
)if we're talking dating for marriage. I think a lot would give #3 a chance in theory, but it depends on age range, whether or not they consider $60k sufficient for a 38-year-old, and their views on higher education.
ETA: I somehow managed to give my reasons without answering the question Being totally realistic and honest, no I probably wouldn't be dating any of them.
I don't want to deal with existing children/ex-wives, and want someone who is stable and situated (or clearly on an amazing upward path
)if we're talking dating for marriage. I think a lot would give #3 a chance in theory, but it depends on age range, whether or not they consider $60k sufficient for a 38-year-old, and their views on higher education.ETA: I somehow managed to give my reasons without answering the question
Being totally realistic and honest, no I probably wouldn't be dating any of them.
Last edited:
Maa Maa omo mti
New Member
it's all in redHere are a few made-up scenarios. Would you date (for marriage) any of these men? Why or why not?
NOTE: ALL the men present themselves as extremely caring, loyal, and of good character. Whether they actually are or not depends on what you find out along the way.
1. 40-year-old man. Divorced. 3 kids and 2 baby mamas. if he had only one BM and less kids yes
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together. maybe I got a 2 year old and if he is involved in his kids life regardless than its ok with me. it also depends on who broke it off.
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year. he had some luck to be making 60K, but if he doesn't have ambition to make more we can't hang. Education is important, so you got to atleast finish HS, it's not that hard. now dropping out of college I can understand to some degree, but you better have an Associates, certificates or something.
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house. Maybe- I have dated a guy who lived with his brother and his father(divorced) they purchased a house together(atleast that's his story) He was a very ambitious guy though( wanted to start his own hedge fund co.) and he had gone through a divorce and has a daughter.
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son. Every time I read this one I keep saying maybe. It depends on what landed him in the bankruptcy in the first place. And- does much better with money, mean that he is saving his money, maybe even making more money and he can afford to take on the task of being in a new relationship?
The why (or why not) part is what I really want to know for each scenario.
Last edited:
healthyhair2
Well-Known Member
The only one I would even consider is number 3, assuming he ACTUALLY clears 60K a year. If that is before taxes, not so good. New York is TOO expensive. Of course, I would be working as well.
**I would encourage him to seek training in another field where money could increase.**
**I would encourage him to seek training in another field where money could increase.**
Last edited:
fairyhairy
New Member
1. 40-year-old man. Divorced. 3 kids and 2 baby mamas.
No - no drama no kids no thanks
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together.
No - no drama no kids no thanks
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year.
Maybe - if he were going back to school to turn that to £60,000 into £160,000 - work that out in dollars
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house.
Can't judge am living at home to save money also - so if its short term then maybe
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son.
No - no drama no kids no thanks
I refuse to date men with children - I am selfish and the other woman will always be in his life because of the kids, and yeah I need to come first
No - no drama no kids no thanks
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together.
No - no drama no kids no thanks
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year.
Maybe - if he were going back to school to turn that to £60,000 into £160,000 - work that out in dollars
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house.
Can't judge am living at home to save money also - so if its short term then maybe
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son.
No - no drama no kids no thanks
I refuse to date men with children - I am selfish and the other woman will always be in his life because of the kids, and yeah I need to come first
vmerie
Undercover superhero
BTW. The ages don't bother me at all.
1. 40-year-old man. Divorced. 3 kids and 2 baby mamas. No. 1 too many baby mamas.
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together. Yes. Depending on how it ended.
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year. No. A college education is a must for me.
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house. Hell no. You should have more to show than a car at that age. This scenerio is screaming out to me lack of responsiblity.
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son. No. This can affect future purchases which a two income household might be needed.
I would date a man with kids. Education and being able to take care of your responsibilities is important to me.
1. 40-year-old man. Divorced. 3 kids and 2 baby mamas. No. 1 too many baby mamas.
2. 35-year-old man. Ended relationship 6 months ago with his gf of 4 years. They have a 2-year-old together. Yes. Depending on how it ended.
3. 38-year-old man. No kids. High school diploma but no college education. Works a blue-collar job making about ~$60,000 a year. No. A college education is a must for me.
4. 42-year-old man. Lives with his brother in a house but has his own car. He's working but wants to save extra money for bills, hence the living arrangement. The brother owns the house. Hell no. You should have more to show than a car at that age. This scenerio is screaming out to me lack of responsiblity.
5. 33-year-old man. A history of bankruptcy but is much better with money now. Diligently pays child support to his baby mama, with whom he has one son. No. This can affect future purchases which a two income household might be needed.
I would date a man with kids. Education and being able to take care of your responsibilities is important to me.
Last edited:
fairyhairy
New Member
Even more reason not to date or marry him, all of that mess in the papers? My heart and mind couldn't and wouldn't take it
cutiepiebabygirl
Well-Known Member
#3 is fine to me.
I don't mind dating someone who makes less than me, as long as he is faithful, responsible, and makes me happy. $60,000 is decent and since he has no kids, he could have invetments/savings, also all the money would come to our household, not being split between homes (child support, alimony).
I'm 29...and 38 is older than I would like, but since it's all hypothetical...
The rest have more baggage than I'd like.
I don't mind dating someone who makes less than me, as long as he is faithful, responsible, and makes me happy. $60,000 is decent and since he has no kids, he could have invetments/savings, also all the money would come to our household, not being split between homes (child support, alimony).
I'm 29...and 38 is older than I would like, but since it's all hypothetical...
The rest have more baggage than I'd like.
No kids, so #3 or #4. I'm hoping #4 has been saving his money all this time he's been living with his brother, so he can put like 50% down on a house or something. Or has a huge retirement fund and other investments. Just think how much money you could save if you paid little or no rent for 10 years, assuming you had been working during that time.
Last edited:
Similar threads
