2013 Whats happening Relationship Folks

MissMariee said:
I need all the positive vibes I can get ladies.. We're experiencing some pretty big obstacles within our relationship.
I want this. He understands me, is patient with me, & cares for me in ways I never thought any one would.
But right now.. Im just not sure. :( :(

Just needed to vent a bit.
Click to expand...

:bighug: I think we all have those am I sure moments. Just take your time and keep the lines of communication open. You can work through it.
 
cwmarie said:
Idk if this better here or in the married couples thread but anyone ever been to couples counseling? My SO has suggested it. We've known each other for about 7 years, been together for a little over three. I'm looking to buy a house next year and he said he wouldn't want to go through the process unless we were at least engaged. But he fearful of a marriage failing. His parents are divorced, friends he knows are married aren't happily married. We have a few other issues to work on as well. I'd guess it be more like pre-engagement counseling.

I'm not against going but I'm also somewhat of a negative nancy sometimes and in my mind I'm thinking well if you are unsure after all this time... What's going to change.

Any thoughts :-/
Click to expand...

Plenty of nonmarried couples do counseling together. He just shouldn't expect that some therapist is going to perfect your relationship and lead it to marriage.
 
I told myself I'd never post in this thread again but my friends and I have been drinking all day and well....

He doesn't think I say I love you but I say it all the time. When I tell him to drive carefully I'm saying it. When I tell him to wear his jacket, to remember his umbrella, to text me when he gets there and to have a safe trip. When I call him in the middle of the day to make sure his presentation went well or when he falls asleep on the couch and I charge his phone, take his glasses off and put a blanket over him...I'm saying it.

But I can't literally say it. I wish I could. I can't say it but it's there. It's everywhere.
 
Last edited:
VeryBecoming
I understand. But I hope you know that saying it and showing it aren't the same thing. It sounds important to him so....open your mouth and SAY it...before someone else does!
 
I had a great weekend. We are dinner at friends house and played wii. On Saturday I went to am African dance class and ate lunch with some great ladies. Came home and spent the rest of the day with my babe. On today we went to the African American museum. It was smaller than expected but still alright. We then went to a black owned book store and bought some books. Finally we went to eat at a vegan spot in Philly. I loved spending time with my boo.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I need some help please...

So, around Thanksgiving, a guy that I went on one date with (I wasn't interested in him afterwards) reaches out and says Hello, then Happy Thanksgiving. I return the greeting, then the man asks 'so, what are you doing for the holiday'? Now seeing that he might be trying to ask me out again, I tell him that I will be with my SO. After this, I remove this person from my friends list (I couldn't do it before b/c he deacttivated his account) and completely forgot about it.

Today, the encounter comes up in discussion and now SO has flipped :nono:. He said that I have opened a window of opportunity for this person and that I am an 'easy target'...that I am easy access. He also proceeds to tell me that things have changed and that he will reach out to his exes.

I don't really know how to handle this. He is really upset, but to be honest with you...I feel that he's overreacting. I didn't contact this person first and I let the person know that I was in a relationship.

Relationships shouldn't be this hard...

ETA: The date was over 2 years ago. I've been dating SO for a year.
 
Last edited:
dont laugh, ladies...OK, maybe chuckling is acceptable :lol: this is how ridiculous we are. Last week we were going over seeing each other over the weekend but both of us had other things to do.

Me: So pick a damn day. We only got so many hours. (yes, I'm always this ornery :lol:)
Him: Well we both got stuff half days each day of the weekend.
Me: Yea, so pick one.
Him: But why I have to pick one? We CAN see each other multiple days.
Me: :look: :look:
Him: ......
Me: (blustering) But I might want to be by myself one of those half days. :rolleyes:
Him: :look: (long pause) OK, we'll set something for X days, but I will want to see you on the other day too. It's not a crime.
Me: Fine. :look: Whatever.

2 mins later we're talking about how men dont like to talk on the phone (the irony)

Him: Yea, I hate talking on the phone
Me: But you talk to me on the phone like an hour and a half a couple times a week. We've already been on an hour!
Him: But it's not the same
Me: What you mean it's not the same? We're talking. On the phone.
Him: But...it's just...I like.... I...
Me: Yes?
Him:....
Me: :look:
Him: So I'll see you on X day and then probably Y?
Me: :rolleyes: Yea...
And then we go on to talk for ANOTHER 45 mins! :lol:

Why cant we just say what's really on our minds? We're both hot messes on the shore of De Nial! :rofl:
 
qtslim83 said:
I need some help please...

So, around Thanksgiving, a guy that I went on one date with (I wasn't interested in him afterwards) reaches out and says Hello, then Happy Thanksgiving. I return the greeting, then the man asks 'so, what are you doing for the holiday'? Now seeing that he might be trying to ask me out again, I tell him that I will be with my SO. After this, I remove this person from my friends list (I couldn't do it before b/c he deacttivated his account) and completely forgot about it.

Today, the encounter comes up in discussion and now SO has flipped :nono:. He said that I have opened a window of opportunity for this person and that I am an 'easy target'...that I am easy access. He also proceeds to tell me that things have changed and that he will reach out to his exes.

I don't really know how to handle this. He is really upset, but to be honest with you...I feel that he's overreacting. I didn't contact this person first and I let the person know that I was in a relationship.

Relationships shouldn't be this hard...
Click to expand...
How long you been with your SO qtslim83? IT cant be long since you went on that date just barely a month ago. Was it FB this non-ex contacted you or a dating site?

But whatever the case, he really is over reacting. And I might add being a bit manipulative by throwing his ex's in the mix--and btw a single one-off date does not an exBF make. Sorry about your man's over the top response. I dont get it.:nono:
 
qtslim83 said:
I need some help please... So, around Thanksgiving, a guy that I went on one date with (I wasn't interested in him afterwards) reaches out and says Hello, then Happy Thanksgiving. I return the greeting, then the man asks 'so, what are you doing for the holiday'? Now seeing that he might be trying to ask me out again, I tell him that I will be with my SO. After this, I remove this person from my friends list (I couldn't do it before b/c he deacttivated his account) and completely forgot about it. Today, the encounter comes up in discussion and now SO has flipped :nono:. He said that I have opened a window of opportunity for this person and that I am an 'easy target'...that I am easy access. He also proceeds to tell me that things have changed and that he will reach out to his exes. I don't really know how to handle this. He is really upset, but to be honest with you...I feel that he's overreacting. I didn't contact this person first and I let the person know that I was in a relationship. Relationships shouldn't be this hard...
Click to expand...
Whoa......that seems a little off. You told dude that you had a SO. How did SO even know about it? I had a similar situation with Mr. Some old chick that he used to date called him (actually texted). When she was in town. He ignored the texts but told me about it. I felt like he should have just said "hey I'm with someone don't call me again". He just ignored her. I felt like he should have closed that door completely, he felt like she would "get the message" by being ignored. We talked it out and I have absolutely no reason to believe that he would do anything underhanded, I just had to give him my perspective.
Did he go off and get pissed or did you two talk about it? That makes a difference IMO......
 
Last edited:
DarkJoy said:
dont laugh, ladies...OK, maybe chuckling is acceptable :lol: this is how ridiculous we are. Last week we were going over seeing each other over the weekend but both of us had other things to do. Me: So pick a damn day. We only got so many hours. (yes, I'm always this ornery :lol:) Him: Well we both got stuff half days each day of the weekend. Me: Yea, so pick one. Him: But why I have to pick one? We CAN see each other multiple days. Me: :look: :look: Him: ...... Me: (blustering) But I might want to be by myself one of those half days. :rolleyes: Him: :look: (long pause) OK, we'll set something for X days, but I will want to see you on the other day too. It's not a crime. Me: Fine. :look: Whatever. 2 mins later we're talking about how men dont like to talk on the phone (the irony) Him: Yea, I hate talking on the phone Me: But you talk to me on the phone like an hour and a half a couple times a week. We've already been on an hour! Him: But it's not the same Me: What you mean it's not the same? We're talking. On the phone. Him: But...it's just...I like.... I... Me: Yes? Him:.... Me: :look: Him: So I'll see you on X day and then probably Y? Me: :rolleyes: Yea... And then we go on to talk for ANOTHER 45 mins! :lol: Why cant we just say what's really on our minds? We're both hot messes on the shore of De Nial! :rofl:
Click to expand...

Bwaaahahaaahahaaaaaaaaa, girl just stop fighting it!!!!!!!
 
DarkJoy said:
How long you been with your SO @qtslim83? IT cant be long since you went on that date just barely a month ago. Was it FB this non-ex contacted you or a dating site?

But whatever the case, he really is over reacting. And I might add being a bit manipulative by throwing his ex's in the mix--and btw a single one-off date does not an exBF make. Sorry about your man's over the top response. I dont get it.:nono:
Click to expand...

DarkJoy

Sorry, I need to clarify. The date was over 2 years ago. I've been dating SO for a year. The date guy contacted me on FB...he reactivated his account and I didn't know.
 
DarkJoy said:
How long you been with your SO qtslim83? IT cant be long since you went on that date just barely a month ago. Was it FB this non-ex contacted you or a dating site? But whatever the case, he really is over reacting. And I might add being a bit manipulative by throwing his ex's in the mix--and btw a single one-off date does not an exBF make. Sorry about your man's over the top response. I dont get it.:nono:
Click to expand...
I think she meant the guy contacted her around thanksgiving, not that they went out then.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Whoa......that seems a little off. You told dude that you had a SO. How did SO even know about it? I had a similar situation with Mr. Some old chick that he used to date called him (actually texted). When she was in town. He ignored the texts but told me about it. I felt like he should have just said "hey I'm with someone don't call me again". He just ignored her. I felt like he should have closed that door completely, he felt like she would "get the message" by being ignored. We talked it out and I have absolutely no reason to believe that he would do anything underhanded, I just had to give him my perspective.
Did he go off and get pushed or did you two talk about it? That makes a difference IMO......
Click to expand...

@crlsweetie912
We were talking about his friend who's going through a divorce trying to reconnect with someone from his past 3 years ago and I mentioned it in passing. SO said that his friend should contact her and I disagreed because I felt that since he's still married, he shouldn't be pursuing anything with anyone. He asked if I had had someone contact me like that and I told him. I honestly did forget about the whole thing because I told this guy that I was with SO. I've never hidden anything from this man, he has access to my phone and everything else.

He went off....saying things like 'you've hurt me for the last time' and 'this changes everything'. I was supposed to go out this weekend with my friends, but declined because I have to work. His crazy self said to me that he hopes that the guy from 2 years ago and I have a good time at the club.
 
Last edited:
DarkJoy said:
Oh ok. But still, my thoughts stand on the matter. He is really out of line.
Click to expand...

@DarkJoy

Thank you! I thought that letting this person know that I was in a relationship was the respectful thing to do. I'm not the type to be spiteful to someone from my past...IMO if you're over that person, then you don't care to be mean to them. SO says he's upset because I said hello and Happy Thanksgiving, then told him I was attached and spending the holiday studying :huh:
 
qtslim83 said:
I need some help please... So, around Thanksgiving, a guy that I went on one date with (I wasn't interested in him afterwards) reaches out and says Hello, then Happy Thanksgiving. I return the greeting, then the man asks 'so, what are you doing for the holiday'? Now seeing that he might be trying to ask me out again, I tell him that I will be with my SO. After this, I remove this person from my friends list (I couldn't do it before b/c he deacttivated his account) and completely forgot about it. Today, the encounter comes up in discussion and now SO has flipped :nono:. He said that I have opened a window of opportunity for this person and that I am an 'easy target'...that I am easy access. He also proceeds to tell me that things have changed and that he will reach out to his exes. I don't really know how to handle this. He is really upset, but to be honest with you...I feel that he's overreacting. I didn't contact this person first and I let the person know that I was in a relationship. Relationships shouldn't be this hard... ETA: The date was over 2 years ago. I've been dating SO for a year.
Click to expand...

Is he a Scorpio by any chance?

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
QTslim-

His response was very childish - especially since you closed the door on the other guy. In my experience, people who respond like that already have a foot out of the door of their relationship. For him to automatically jump to contacting his ex's sounds like he was looking for a reason to justify open up lines of communicaton. And he's trying to shame you too? If he starts talking to old GFs it's because he wanted to and it's not your fault. Manipulation isn't cool. Be careful, sis.
 
qtslim83 said:
Forever in Bloom yes he is!
Click to expand...

I am dating one, but thankfully this is the one trait that I haven't experienced yet. Scorpios are super jealous and any mention of a past relationship, in any context, can drive a Scorpio insane. My best friend was in a relationship with a Scorpio for 9 months and experienced all kinds of craziness. She mentioned just in casual conversation to him that an ex had reached out to her, but that she had no interest in him. He flew off the handle and was like, "Fine! Go be with him if that's what you want!!"

::Blink blink::

They have a way of not hearing what you say, have major trust issues, are very jealous, and have bad tempers. But when they love you, they love hard due to their extremely passionate nature.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
qtslim83

I think he was overreacting. But overeaction aside, he is upset.

Saying things like 'you've hurt me for the last time' and 'this changes everything'.
Click to expand...


This makes me think he is 'still' upset about something that happened during your relationship. Maybe a sit down, heart to heart talk will help you understand why he reacted so harshly?
 
MzSwift said:
QTslim-

His response was very childish - especially since you closed the door on the other guy. In my experience, people who respond like that already have a foot out of the door of their relationship. For him to automatically jump to contacting his ex's sounds like he was looking for a reason to justify open up lines of communicaton. And he's trying to shame you too? If he starts talking to old GFs it's because he wanted to and it's not your fault. Manipulation isn't cool. Be careful, sis.
Click to expand...

Thank you MzSwift . This isn't the first time he's done something like that, mention an ex. Once, I had to work early in the morning and he got drunk out with his boys and needed a ride home. I said I couldn't and told him to get a taxi. He 'dumped' me, threatened to call his ex wife and girlfriend, and said he was going home with a random....only to tell me the next day he said it b/c he was drunk. Told him today that it's so strange how that easily rolls off his tongue. I'm ready to walk...

Forever in Bloom said:
I am dating one, but thankfully this is the one trait that I haven't experienced yet. Scorpios are super jealous and any mention of a past relationship, in any context, can drive a Scorpio insane. My best friend was in a relationship with a Scorpio for 9 months and experienced all kinds of craziness. She mentioned just in casual conversation to him that an ex had reached out to her, but that she had no interest in him. He flew off the handle and was like, "Fine! Go be with him if that's what you want!!"

::Blink blink::

They have a way of not hearing what you say, have major trust issues, are very jealous, and have bad tempers. But when they love you, they love hard due to their extremely passionate nature.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

Yeah...he's said that to me today too.

This is him to a T.
 
MzSwift said:
QTslim-

His response was very childish - especially since you closed the door on the other guy. In my experience, people who respond like that already have a foot out of the door of their relationship. For him to automatically jump to contacting his ex's sounds like he was looking for a reason to justify open up lines of communicaton. And he's trying to shame you too? If he starts talking to old GFs it's because he wanted to and it's not your fault. Manipulation isn't cool. Be careful, sis.
Click to expand...


^^^^^^ I agree with the bolded.
 
TwoSnapsUp said:
@qtslim83

I think he was overreacting. But overeaction aside, he is upset.

This makes me think he is 'still' upset about something that happened during your relationship. Maybe a sit down, heart to heart talk will help you understand why he reacted so harshly?
Click to expand...

TwoSnapsUp
I've tried to speak with him about what happened before. Reason he said that was because earlier this year, my ex-SO reached out via email; his aunt had passed and I guess he felt the need to apologize and wish me well. Even though I told ex SO I was seeing by current and that I was happy plus showed him the message, he still flipped. I can't win for losing.
 
Last edited:
Another one of my friends got married! How exciting; I cant believe Im at the age where people Ive grown up with are getting married!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

L
Just Broke Up With My Boyfriend And Feeling Guilty I Guess
2 3
Replies
67
Views
2K
LdyKamz
L
larry3344
We have a 16-year age gap — can our relationship last?
Replies
21
Views
494
awhyley
awhyley
N
Serious Relationship Troubles...Really Need Support...
2
Replies
42
Views
2K
deltadreamland
deltadreamland
TinyBlu
Why I Don't Like Dating... (Vent)
2 3
Replies
61
Views
2K
MizAvalon
MizAvalon
J
Single Christian Women & Missionary Dating
Replies
17
Views
4K
jturner7156
jturner7156
Back
Top