2013 Whats happening Relationship Folks

I've been gone six days. I feel like I should be getting more attention. Especially since I was supposed to be back two days ago. At least the place could have been straightened up. He did watch after my dog and take her to daycare. Idk. Maybe I just need a drink.
 
So I says I been thinking about him and miss him via text (yes, I'm a wuss). I said that for the first time last week and again today. Now I feel all bashful 'n ish. He says no one has ever really said those things to him before.

BTW, generally, even though I dont always verbally say so, I'm extraordinarily affectionate, always need to touch my lover in some small way, either hand or arm or whatever--he's not used to that. Apparently his exW and ExGFs were cold fishes. He says it keeps catching him off guard and he's not sure what to do sometimes. But admits that its very refreshing and unlike anything he's ever experienced. He says it feels amazing to realize you're wanted by someone.

That just made me all bashful too.

And that's all the mush-mush I got for today :lol:
 
I'm still here and we are still together. We made Xmas wish lists for each other and he let me put up a tree at his place and decorate it. In return I joined him in this online shooting game (:rolleyes:) that we play often. Yeah I like it lol.
 
I'm up and I finally get to hear my twin talk clearly I'm his sleep lol. I use never catch the words lol. Hilarious!!!! He realized that I knew and try to play it off. Then he said he was talking to his aunt lol. It was funny smh.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Insecurities coming in 5....4....3....... (at least I recognize it for what it is) this year has been one of the worst years ever for me. Mr. Has been incredibly supportive and loving. Never showed me anything less than full support. And I must admit I've never had that in my life so I'm not used to it. And I always show the same support to him in a lot of different ways.
But I caught myself yesterday thinking this man is gonna bolt if he has to keep taking care of me....and I got really scared....this isn't things that I can even control, but that fear of abandonment jumped up really fast and I can't shake it......
 
Thanks for sharing that crlsweetie912. We all have our baggage, though. He sounds like he's a real dream and very supportive so you have nothing to worry about. Time and developing more trust will heal those wounds. Just have patience with yourself. This will melt away in time :)
 
DarkJoy said:
Thanks for sharing that crlsweetie912. We all have our baggage, though. He sounds like he's a real dream and very supportive so you have nothing to worry about. Time and developing more trust will heal those wounds. Just have patience with yourself. This will melt away in time :)
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Thanks sis. As soon as I wrote it out I was like wth did I do. This is all new to me. And I'm the typical I'm every woman chick but only because I absolutely had no choice. It feels so good to have that consistent shoulder.
He is very intuitive and responsive. He can tell when something is amiss. I try to shoulder what's going on cause he's has a lot on his plate. But we are at a point now where we can zoom in on our emotions with each other. I feel very blessed.
 
So now we have Christmas and two weeks after that his birthday...I really have no clue/idea what to do. :look:

eta: nevermind the fact that there was a jewelry at work on Monday, I bought myself and my sisters Christmas gift. He liked what I bought, but then turned and said, well what did you get me?!?? I lied and said that I didn't see anything that I liked for him:blush: I just totally forgot about him during that moment:look:
 
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I wish this insecurity I have about his ex would go away. I had a dream about her today that she came to visit, wouldn't keep her hands off him and called me a b****. It's so frustrating. She lives in Britain and it's been over 2 years since they were together. Our relationship is rock solid and he's never given me a reason to doubt his love for me.

I know she still texts him once in awhile. I saw a text from her pop up on his phone when we were looking at something. He just rolled his eyes. I don't know if he knows I saw it or that I know who it was.

I don't text my exes....ever. I'm not hung up on them or wondering what's going on in their lives. If I did, it would mean I still had feelings for them. So for her to be texting him makes me feel like she's trying to keep him in her pocket and I don't like it one bit.

I need to talk to him about it. The dreams and insecurity won't stop until I do. I just don't know how to bring it up. I don't want to cause a rift in our relationship over nothing. I love this man so much!

I hate being a stupid girl sometimes. *sigh*
 
Briabiggles said:
I wish this insecurity I have about his ex would go away. I had a dream about her today that she came to visit, wouldn't keep her hands off him and called me a b****. It's so frustrating. She lives in Britain and it's been over 2 years since they were together. Our relationship is rock solid and he's never given me a reason to doubt his love for me. I know she still texts him once in awhile. I saw a text from her pop up on his phone when we were looking at something. He just rolled his eyes. I don't know if he knows I saw it or that I know who it was. I don't text my exes....ever. I'm not hung up on them or wondering what's going on in their lives. If I did, it would mean I still had feelings for them. So for her to be texting him makes me feel like she's trying to keep him in her pocket and I don't like it one bit. I need to talk to him about it. The dreams and insecurity won't stop until I do. I just don't know how to bring it up. I don't want to cause a rift in our relationship over nothing. I love this man so much! I hate being a stupid girl sometimes. *sigh*
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Yeah I felt that way too and a lot of things came out...I highly doubt you'll go through what I did but address it as soon as you can.
 
We talked about it. I broke down in the middle of my speech. He said baby I see how hard you work, all you do, how hard you try. Why wouldn't I help you? And besides you have ALWAYS had my back from day one! Then he told me how much he loved me.
I feel like the luckiest woman on the planet! !!!!!!!
 
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SO is a larger man...he always sits in one spot on one of my couches when he is visiting and the cushion has started to flatten out...:look: no biggie but the other day he moved my love seat to a spot he thought was better to view the tv and attempted to sit on when i dang near screamed "nooooo!!!!". I politely and calmly explained that i love when he comes over and want him to feel comfortable but the flatten out cushion is now his spot and the only spot he can sit in.....

:perplexed: was i wrong?
 
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mallysmommy said:
SO is a larger man...he always sits in spot on one of my couches we he is visiting and the cushion has started to flatten out...:look: no biggie but the other day he moved my love seat to a spot he thought was better to view the tv and attempted to sit on when i dang near screamed "nooooo!!!!". I politely and calmly explained that i love when he comes over and want him to feel comfortable but the flatten out cushion is now his spot and the only spot he can sit in.....

:perplexed: was i wrong?
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Can you rotate the cushions and flip them over?

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
I told SO that we've been together for a long time. he says no, we're only going into our second year, that's not a LONG time. I told him it feels like it's been forever. How low long is "long" in a relationship?
 
nesha24 said:
I told SO that we've been together for a long time. he says no, we're only going into our second year, that's not a LONG time. I told him it feels like it's been forever. How low long is "long" in a relationship?
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Is he significantly older than you nesha24?

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*
 
I am so proud of the efforts he has made since his pre-diabetic diagnosis. He's lost 10 LB already in a month. He says he has another 10 to go. Men suck! It seems once they get focused the fat falls off RAPIDLY!
 
nesha24 said:
I told SO that we've been together for a long time. he says no, we're only going into our second year, that's not a LONG time. I told him it feels like it's been forever. How low long is "long" in a relationship?
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I think it's relative. It depends on how many or how long your relationships have lasted. Long to me is hitting 5 (as far as relationship only)but that's still relative. But two years still a solid length of time. I think year three is when you hit that really knowing your mate. But it's still relative and based on my experience.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Briabiggles said:
I wish this insecurity I have about his ex would go away. I had a dream about her today that she came to visit, wouldn't keep her hands off him and called me a b****. It's so frustrating. She lives in Britain and it's been over 2 years since they were together. Our relationship is rock solid and he's never given me a reason to doubt his love for me.

I know she still texts him once in awhile. I saw a text from her pop up on his phone when we were looking at something. He just rolled his eyes. I don't know if he knows I saw it or that I know who it was.

I don't text my exes....ever. I'm not hung up on them or wondering what's going on in their lives. If I did, it would mean I still had feelings for them. So for her to be texting him makes me feel like she's trying to keep him in her pocket and I don't like it one bit.

I need to talk to him about it. The dreams and insecurity won't stop until I do. I just don't know how to bring it up. I don't want to cause a rift in our relationship over nothing. I love this man so much!

I hate being a stupid girl sometimes. *sigh*
Click to expand...

Dont completely ignore your dreams. Sometimes our dreams are really attempting to speak to us. Not trying to be negative, Im just basing this off my experience.

There was a guy I was seeing and I kept dreaming about his phone and text messages I dreamed for 3 nights straight about text messages between him and another woman. I even told him about the dreams. One day it ate me up so bad.. he got in the shower and I grabbed his phone and what do I see sexual texts between him and another woman. In this case my dreams saved me from wasting my time with a man who was not ready for me.
 
Murjani said:
Dont completely ignore your dreams. Sometimes our dreams are really attempting to speak to us. Not trying to be negative, Im just basing this off my experience.

There was a guy I was seeing and I kept dreaming about his phone and text messages I dreamed for 3 nights straight about text messages between him and another woman. I even told him about the dreams. One day it ate me up so bad.. he got in the shower and I grabbed his phone and what do I see sexual texts between him and another woman. In this case my dreams saved me from wasting my time with a man who was not ready for me.
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I doubt he's doing anything like that. I have the passcode to his phone and could snoop whenever but I don't...and won't. This is purely my own insecurity creeping in. :yep: I'll get it off my chest so we can move on. How though? I dunno!
 
Idk if this better here or in the married couples thread but anyone ever been to couples counseling? My SO has suggested it. We've known each other for about 7 years, been together for a little over three. I'm looking to buy a house next year and he said he wouldn't want to go through the process unless we were at least engaged. But he fearful of a marriage failing. His parents are divorced, friends he knows are married aren't happily married. We have a few other issues to work on as well. I'd guess it be more like pre-engagement counseling.

I'm not against going but I'm also somewhat of a negative nancy sometimes and in my mind I'm thinking well if you are unsure after all this time... What's going to change.

Any thoughts :-/
 
cwmarie said:
Idk if this better here or in the married couples thread but anyone ever been to couples counseling? My SO has suggested it. We've known each other for about 7 years, been together for a little over three. I'm looking to buy a house next year and he said he wouldn't want to go through the process unless we were at least engaged. But he fearful of a marriage failing. His parents are divorced, friends he knows are married aren't happily married. We have a few other issues to work on as well. I'd guess it be more like pre-engagement counseling.

I'm not against going but I'm also somewhat of a negative nancy sometimes and in my mind I'm thinking well if you are unsure after all this time... What's going to change.

Any thoughts :-/
Click to expand...

I think there was a thread specifically on this. But it sounds like a great idea......especially if you don't have examples of happy marriages in your life.
 
My man.......I just love him more and more every day. The way he looks at me....his smile...the way he cares for his (and my) children. Just everything about him.
 
we broke up. The very same argument thru out our relationship led to its demise. my mistrust & insecurites. I had my heart broken very bad from my ex whom i loved my entire adult life. Apparently the scars were still there...deep! and I brought them into this relationship. I felt it was too good to be true for me to be having that perfect of a relationship. Its like i had to find something wrong when there really wasn't :sad: That combined w/ the long distance ..ended us. I will learn from it and move on.
I cant do any more Long distance relationships. can't handle them.
 
sylver2 said:
we broke up. The very same argument thru out our relationship led to its demise. my mistrust & insecurites. I had my heart broken very bad from my ex whom i loved my entire adult life. Apparently the scars were still there...deep! and I brought them into this relationship. I felt it was too good to be true for me to be having that perfect of a relationship. Its like i had to find something wrong when there really wasn't :sad: That combined w/ the long distance ..ended us. I will learn from it and move on.
I cant do any more Long distance relationships. can't handle them.
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Omg sis no. I'm so sorry. :bighug:
 
I need all the positive vibes I can get ladies.. We're experiencing some pretty big obstacles within our relationship.
I want this. He understands me, is patient with me, & cares for me in ways I never thought any one would.
But right now.. Im just not sure. :( :(

Just needed to vent a bit.
 
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