Why I Don't Like Dating... (Vent)

[keykee]

i totally understand this.. but I don't understand men (why do they do this?).. and they say they don't understand us, and we're complicated, and we're the ones that play games.

I wish it was easy to just let go and not over think about a man who just doesn't call.. but i think its the best thing to do. (i know, easier said than done).

 

[MzLady78]

i totally understand this.. but I don't understand men (why do they do this?).. and they say they don't understand us, and we're complicated, and we're the ones that play games.

I wish it was easy to just let go and not over think about a man who just doesn't call.. but i think its the best thing to do. (i know, easier said than done).

This.

 

[ART11]

Some hot heaux got him. Forgive the bluntness - I'm in a mood because I'm sitting here waiting for my frikken call too. Then when they are finished with her and realize how dumb it was, they come back. It takes anywhere from a week to 90 days (depending on how hot she is) but rarely longer. It doesn't mean YOU aren't hot, but he has to work for yours and hers is free. I got to the bottom of the thread, he has returned?? Mysteriously? They always do.

 

[MzLady78]

Some hot heaux got him. Forgive the bluntness - I'm in a mood. Then when they are finished with her and realize how dumb it was, they come back. It takes anywhere from a week to 90 days (depending on how hot she is) but rarely longer. It doesn't mean YOU aren't hot, but he has to work for yours and hers is free. I got to the bottom of the thread, he has returned?? Mysteriously? They always do.

You ain't never lied.

I posted in another thread that one of my Houdinis sent me flirt on the site I met him on that said "miss you", after us not having any communication since last summer. I didn't even respond to that bs.

 

[ART11]

Phone just went BEEP!! He must have felt the wrath...lol!!!

 

[ART11]

You ain't never lied.

I posted in another thread that one of my Houdinis sent me flirt on the site I met him on that said "miss you", after us not having any communication since last summer. I didn't even respond to that bs.

LAST SUMMER?? That was bold!!

 

[MzLady78]

LAST SUMMER?? That was bold!!

Yes girl. I'm talking July or August.

I guess since he saw me back on the site, he figured I was still single so why not hit me up. I used to be the queen of giving dudes second, sometimes third chances but not anymore. I always live to regret it.

 

[aribell]

Some hot heaux got him. Forgive the bluntness - I'm in a mood because I'm sitting here waiting for my frikken call too. Then when they are finished with her and realize how dumb it was, they come back. It takes anywhere from a week to 90 days (depending on how hot she is) but rarely longer. It doesn't mean YOU aren't hot, but he has to work for yours and hers is free. I got to the bottom of the thread, he has returned?? Mysteriously? They always do.

I honestly wonder how often the bolded is the case. This has happened to me before, the disappearing, but I've never given much thought to it. Once it was clear the guy was dropping hints about something sexual happening and when I didn't bite, he disappeared. Another guy kept wanting to "meet up" but it never happened; I'm sure he would've been chompint at the bit if I invited myself over to his place.

Those are instances where I know they were related to me not putting out easily, but in general I'd say just roll with it. I don't take anything seriously until an intentional conversation has been had about "us."

There have been those that disappear and pop back in again, and IME, that has not boded well. Those who were really interested were consistent from the start.

 

[ART11]

I honestly wonder how often the bolded is the case. This has happened to me before, the disappearing, but I've never given much thought to it. Once it was clear the guy was dropping hints about something sexual happening and when I didn't bite, he disappeared. Another guy kept wanting to "meet up" but it never happened; I'm sure he would've been chompint at the bit if I invited myself over to his place.

Those are instances where I know they were related to me not putting out easily, but in general I'd say just roll with it. I don't take anything seriously until an intentional conversation has been had about "us."

There have been those that disappear and pop back in again, and IME, that has not boded well. Those who were really interested were consistent from the start.

BINGO!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I honestly wonder how often the bolded is the case. This has happened to me before, the disappearing, but I've never given much thought to it. Once it was clear the guy was dropping hints about something sexual happening and when I didn't bite, he disappeared. Another guy kept wanting to "meet up" but it never happened; I'm sure he would've been chompint at the bit if I invited myself over to his place.

Those are instances where I know they were related to me not putting out easily, but in general I'd say just roll with it. I don't take anything seriously until an intentional conversation has been had about "us."

There have been those that disappear and pop back in again, and IME, that has not boded well. Those who were really interested were consistent from the start.

I'm on my phone so can't highlight what you said but my stance is the same as yours right now. I'm not taking anything serious until aREAL conversation had been had about "us". I'm putting myself out there but only a little bit if that makes any sense because ultimately
a lot of men are out there "sowing their wild oats :eyeroll:" and it isn't worth crushing your esteem or wasting your time on someone that isn't trying to be serious. Lesson learned. The hard way.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

Yea it was obviously a joke lighten up. but honestly never happened to any of women I know and their well into thier twenty's and thirties and happy, I don't see your point Maybe there amazing , maybe they make good choices, maybe they dont play childish games and know what they want, i admire them not single women teaching other single women to be single #shrugs

I didnt realize it was a joke, there was no indications that it wasnt an insult.
I dont normally converse with kids, I usually ignore them when they touch on topics thats they have absolutely no clue about and by that I mean EVERYTHING because they are fresh out of a crib BUT I'll do you how I do my 16 year old neice, I'll just ask you questions based off what you say to get an understanding of you before I say anything else. I'm wondering why you think the o.p is playing games and doesnt know what she wants? And you admire the other women in your life but not the women on here who are "single and teaching other women to be single". Thats an interesting, and some would say condescending, statement. Explain, please.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

Some hot heaux got him. Forgive the bluntness - I'm in a mood because I'm sitting here waiting for my frikken call too. Then when they are finished with her and realize how dumb it was, they come back. It takes anywhere from a week to 90 days (depending on how hot she is) but rarely longer. It doesn't mean YOU aren't hot, but he has to work for yours and hers is free. I got to the bottom of the thread, he has returned?? Mysteriously? They always do.

funny but true

 

[aribell]

Yea it was obviously a joke lighten up. but honestly never happened to any of women I know and their well into thier twenty's and thirties and happy, I don't see your point Maybe there amazing , maybe they make good choices, maybe they dont play childish games and know what they want, i admire them not single women teaching other single women to be single #shrugs

Hmm...did you ask them to remember every guy who they ever went on a date with or asked for their number and what happened to them? I mean, it just seems like most attractive women who are being regularly hit on and meet different men are going to encounter lots of men with whom it just doesn't work out. Are you saying that for all of these women they had explicit, sit-down convos with these men to tell them they weren't interested in talking to them anymore? And they divulged this info in detail?

What you're describing sounds like you know women who ended up in a serious relationship with every man they ever went on a date with. Maybe they didn't date that much?

That doesn't sound like the normal dating experience, and I *only* mention it because for the vast majority of women, they're just going to meet a lot of men--some will be good, some not good, some will just fade out of their lives, and one will be *it*. Having the expecation that every man you meet and start talking to is going to become something serious will only hinder the whole dating process. And most people are not about to have a formal sit-down convo about it not working out after one date. It really has nothing to do with being "amazing" or "making good choices." Not everyone you meet or go on a date with is someone who you're going to be formal with.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I didnt realize it was a joke, there was no indications that it wasnt an insult.
I dont normally converse with kids, I usually ignore them when they touch on topics thats they have absolutely no clue about and by that I mean EVERYTHING because they are fresh out of a crib BUT I'll do you how I do my 16 year old neice, I'll just ask you questions based off what you say to get an understanding of you before I say anything else. I'm wondering why you think the o.p is playing games and doesnt know what she wants? And you admire the other women in your life but not the women on here who are "single and teaching other women to be single". Thats an interesting, and some would say condescending, statement. Explain, please.

Pretty much sums it up.

 

[VelvetRain]

Kimgirl no offense but I feel you need a bit more life experience with regards to what dating is all about and what it entails. I would love to hear your stance in about 10 years on this subject.

Getting back on topic I simply don't waste my time on men that appear to not be serious or those who do the infamous ghosting. There was a time I would get a bit bent out of shape if I never heard from a guy after our first date. Would wonder what the heck I did wrong especially after guys would say yeah I had a great time we should totally do this again soon. Soon never came and I would always be wondering. It took me awhile to really understand that a first date is just that a first date and nothing else. I don't owe the guy anything and he doesn't owe me anything. Just two people getting together for hopefully some friendly conversation. I don't go into anything with expectations anymore. In fact I said this very statement to the guy I just had a second date with. I take what men say with a grain of salt. It's their subsequent actions that let me know what really is up.

 

[Kimgirl50]

I didnt realize it was a joke, there was no indications that it wasnt an insult.
I dont normally converse with kids, I usually ignore them when they touch on topics thats they have absolutely no clue about and by that I mean EVERYTHING because they are fresh out of a crib BUT I'll do you how I do my 16 year old neice, I'll just ask you questions based off what you say to get an understanding of you before I say anything else. I'm wondering why you think the o.p is playing games and doesnt know what she wants? And you admire the other women in your life but not the women on here who are "single and teaching other women to be single". Thats an interesting, and some would say condescending, statement. Explain, please.[/


I definitely don't think the op is playing games. She went on a date and the guy wasn't interested. My description was certainly not about her but of the common single woman.




How's your marriage?

 

[Kimgirl50]

Kimgirl no offense but I feel you need a bit more life experience with regards to what dating is all about and what it entails. I would love to hear your stance in about 10 years on this subject.

Getting back on topic I simply don't waste my time on men that appear to not be serious or those who do the infamous ghosting. There was a time I would get a bit bent out of shape if I never heard from a guy after our first date. Would wonder what the heck I did wrong especially after guys would say yeah I had a great time we should totally do this again soon. Soon never came and I would always be wondering. It took me awhile to really understand that a first date is just that a first date and nothing else. I don't owe the guy anything and he doesn't owe me anything. Just two people getting together for hopefully some friendly conversation. I don't go into anything with expectations anymore. In fact I said this very statement to the guy I just had a second date with. I take what men say with a grain of salt. It's their subsequent actions that let me know what really is up.

and I would like to share it in a few years as well, what many don't realize is that i'm not the only one commenting,there are many grown woman and men in the room who may glance at my screen and offer a comment or suggestion. So I may suggest it back to the forum. This is very entertaining for everyone

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

I definitely don't think the op is playing games. She went on a date and the guy wasn't interested. My description was certainly not about her but of the common single woman.


How's your marriage?
---------------------------------------------------------------------


Girl Bye!
I would never have a 'grown folks' conversation about my personal life with someone who could be my child . I would on the other hand give you advice but based on your responses in this thread and others you've posted in, you seem to know it all.

Good Night kimgirl, I'm assuming you have school in the morning and need your . Have a good day tomorrow.

 

[VelvetRain]

I didnt realize it was a joke, there was no indications that it wasnt an insult.
I dont normally converse with kids, I usually ignore them when they touch on topics thats they have absolutely no clue about and by that I mean EVERYTHING because they are fresh out of a crib BUT I'll do you how I do my 16 year old neice, I'll just ask you questions based off what you say to get an understanding of you before I say anything else. I'm wondering why you think the o.p is playing games and doesnt know what she wants? And you admire the other women in your life but not the women on here who are "single and teaching other women to be single". Thats an interesting, and some would say condescending, statement. Explain, please.[/


I definitely don't think the op is playing games. She went on a date and the guy wasn't interested. My description was certainly not about her but of the common single woman.




How's your marriage?

look:

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

and I would like to share it in a few years as well, what many don't realize is that i'm not the only one commenting,there are many grown woman and men in the room who may glance at my screen and offer a comment or suggestion. So I may suggest it back to the forum. This is very entertaining for everyone

wow, so many places I could go with this response but what I will say is that I wish the mods could somehow put age restrictions on certain areas of the board...

 

[VelvetRain]

wow, so many places I could go with this response but what I will say is that I wish the mods could somehow put age restrictions on certain areas of the board...

Exactly and a sentiment already expressed with others here.

 

[*CherryPie*]

.......or MAYBE they're just not telling you the truth.erplexed

Yea it was obviously a joke lighten up. but honestly never happened to any of women I know and their well into thier twenty's and thirties and happy, I don't see your point Maybe there amazing , maybe they make good choices, maybe they dont play childish games and know what they want, i admire them not single women teaching other single women to be single #shrugs

 

[nappystorm]

This never happened to me maybe im just that amazing lol


(im so modest)

Yea it was obviously a joke lighten up. but honestly never happened to any of women I know and their well into their twenty's and thirties and happy, I don't see your point Maybe there amazing , maybe they make good choices, maybe they dont play childish games and know what they want, i admire them not single women teaching other single women to be single #shrugs

Sighs. Personally, I think you are an intelligent girl, it seems as though you've had some positive older people around to teach you the ropes. Good for you

I was very mature for my age as well. I was the baby so I was generally around older people. Plus I had other brothers. My maturity and inside knowledge helped me avoid many of the pitfalls many of my peers experienced. However, I was still a teenager. And frankly, my dear, there are some life lessons that only age and experience can teach you. Keep living.

Living, dating and relationships at 16 are completely different than 30. If you are lucky, you won't even be the same person in ten years. I seriously think these "IhavenevermadeadatingmistakebecauseImsoflyandsmart" late 20 and 30 year olds are giving you the okey doke.

Do not discount the advice and knowledge you're getting because of someone's relationship status. Most of us have lived this stuff, not merely observed from the sidelines. And if you're smart (and we are), you learn from every mistake and bad experience so that you don't repeat it again.We've been your age, you've never been ours. Like I said, good advice is good advice regardless of the source. Tis all.

 

[RossBoss]

I didn't realize I was talking to a 16 year old in that other thread! Not that there is really anything wrong with it, but it's seems so awkward! LOL!.

 

[ambergirl]

I just asked my brother and he said the guy probably found someone else. It's definitely happened to me (and so many of us) in the past where a guy suddenly stopped communicating, I would find out much later that it was either they became busy with other things and just decided I wasn't going to make it into his schedule or that he met someone else.

I'm sorry it happened to you because it's annoying when you are invested in someone emotionally and they have moved on...and it's even more annoying when they don't tell you straight up what is going on. Come on, we are all adults!

He's probably talking to a few women and someone else gave him what he wanted for the time being. Now it sounds like he's back working on you again.

Yeah, I would step. It's early, you're not attached, and he's shown himself.

 

[ambergirl]

I didn't realize I was talking to a 16 year old in that other thread! Not that there is really anything wrong with it, but it's seems so awkward! LOL!.

For real. But at least she was honest and told us he age. But only a youngun would think they could step up into a thread and give women who are 10- 20 years older then her advice. Live, child, live and then come back in here and see what you have to say!

 

[qchelle]

Didnt you say you were 16? Live a little longer

Kimgirl...you're 16!? I didn't know that...I thought I was atleast talking to someone legal I feel like I've been duped!

ETA: didn't you start a thread talking about getting married?

 

[Bmack]

I am glad the OP came back and cleared things up.

However, with respect to KG, age is only a number when it comes to opinions, because I see some women on here making comments that I would not exactly call mature so...

Anyway, glad OP is keeping it moving and yes, they always come back....and with some lame intro too. :/

 

[VelvetRain]

I am glad the OP came back and cleared things up.

However, with respect to KG, age is only a number when it comes to opinions, because I see some women on here making comments that I would not exactly call mature so...

Anyway, glad OP is keeping it moving and yes, they always come back....and with some lame intro too. :/

Is that so? Interesting.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I am glad the OP came back and cleared things up.

However, with respect to KG, age is only a number when it comes to opinions, because I see some women on here making comments that I would not exactly call mature so...

Anyway, glad OP is keeping it moving and yes, they always come back....and with some lame intro too. :/

I hear you bmack but truthfully I don't feel that a child/teen should be involved and commenting in grown folk conversation. If she has questions about relationships and is curious as to properly handle herself realistically she should be discussing these things with her mama. If for whatever reason she is unable to do so then by all means find an appropriate outlet but for me I don't like the tone she has taken on occasion which since she is still a child is understandable. We have all been that age once so I get it. Just something about the responses since they are coming from a child rub me the wrong way.

As for the other dummies that are of age? I know they don't have common sense in some instances and usually end up being trolls anyway.