2013 Whats happening Relationship Folks

Spent the whole weekend with SO and his family for his 30th birthday. We kept it very low key...lots of good food and drinks, play time with the doggies, Sunday morning foot ball. It was great! His family is seriously awesome. :yep:
 
My SO is sad because we're not able to afford the vacy we wanted. He's been moody all week getting on my nerves. So I took it upon myself to plan a new cheaper and IMO better vacy. Were gonna rent a cabin at one of our state parks. There's a waterfall it's on a lake and has a fireplace. I'm the bomb yup! Lol
 
My boyfriend found out a ex from high school told me happy birthday on facebook and wants me to delete him as a friend and any other guy that I am not related to on Facebook. And he doesn't want me talking to any guys at all
 
curlygirlnat said:
My boyfriend found out a ex from high school told me happy birthday on facebook and wants me to delete him as a friend and any other guy that I am not related to on Facebook. And he doesn't want me talking to any guys at all
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Red flags, imo.
I don't like to dip my mouth into other folk's business but wow, major déjà vu.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Wow.....we are getting to the really deep stuff. Like we are going through therapy without the therapist. I think he's a little afraid of telling me things. Dangit I'm all in. I sat here and thought about anything that he could tell me that would change the way I feel...... unless he has a woman chained up in the basement or likes torturing puppies I came up with nothing.
I really love this man....
 
Meeting SO's 90 year old Grandpa on Saturday. I've heard him on the phone before and he is a hoot! I can't wait!

Sent from my iPad mini mini.
 
curlygirlnat said:
My boyfriend found out a ex from high school told me happy birthday on facebook and wants me to delete him as a friend and any other guy that I am not related to on Facebook. And he doesn't want me talking to any guys at all
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Thats more than red flags. Thats stop signs, flashing bulletins and an amber alert. He could be setting you to be isolated for abuse of some sort, whether emotional or physical doesnt matter.

Maybe you need to give this dude a pass. curlygirlnat
 
curlygirlnat said:
My boyfriend found out a ex from high school told me happy birthday on facebook and wants me to delete him as a friend and any other guy that I am not related to on Facebook. And he doesn't want me talking to any guys at all
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That's a very extreme request and reeks of insecurity and control issues. I would proceed with caution and look for other signs of jealousy/control....
 
We are both sick (his fault). He came over last night with some chicken noodle soup and whiskey for hot totties. That with shots of dimetapp had us out in minutes. He is taking good care of me. Did all of the laundry cooked breakfast and now he is vaccuming. I attempted to get up and help but he pretty much told me to go back and lay down. Niether of us are going to work today, movies and totties all day.
 
mallysmommy said:
We are both sick (his fault). He came over last night with some chicken noodle soup and whiskey for hot totties. That with shots of dimetapp had us out in minutes. He is taking good care of me. Did all of the laundry cooked breakfast and now he is vaccuming. I attempted to get up and help but he pretty much told me to go back and lay down. Niether of us are going to work today, movies and totties all day.
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Aww thats so sweet!!!!!!
 
MizAvalon said:
Awww, I love reading all these stories!

Hooray for love! I'm love-drunk too! :grin:
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The most amazing feeling....:reddancer:
After our talk the other day boo said he has never met someone like me. And he is deeply and completely in love with me. My baby is the best!
 
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Yeah he kinda brushed me off yesterday to help his friend who had car trouble. He better get it together cause I am SEETHING!
Don't be thinking I'm Miss. Nice lady that I won't fly off....you in the dog house Mr!
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Yeah he kinda brushed me off yesterday to help his friend who had car trouble. He better get it together cause I am SEETHING!
Don't be thinking I'm Miss. Nice lady that I won't fly off....you in the dog house Mr!
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Unless he was rude, or stood me up I find SO helping out friends and family on occasions they are desperate an attractive quality lol.

It can be a bit disappointing when it clashes with cuddle time, but some of the traits I love about him is the kind heartedness/willingness to help and loyalty:yep:. Doesn't happen that often anyway. I claim most of my SO's free time outside of hobbies lol.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Yeah he kinda brushed me off yesterday to help his friend who had car trouble. He better get it together cause I am SEETHING! Don't be thinking I'm Miss. Nice lady that I won't fly off....you in the dog house Mr!
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From all the kind things you post about ur SO seems this is minor and you sound a bit needy. He's seems to always be there for you. Chill out a bit and give him a pass. U don't want to push him away.
 
Sumra said:
Unless he was rude, or stood me up I find SO helping out friends and family on occasions they are desperate an attractive quality lol.

It can be a bit disappointing when it clashes with cuddle time, but some of the traits I love about him is the kind heartedness/willingness to help and loyalty:yep:. Doesn't happen that often anyway. I claim most of my SO's free time outside of hobbies lol.
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I understand what yall are saying. This happens a lot I just don't always post about it. And since our time is cut down to once weekly it adds up quick.
 
natural2008 said:
From all the kind things you post about ur SO seems this is minor and you sound a bit needy. He's seems to always be there for you. Chill out a bit and give him a pass. U don't want to push him away.
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Not needy at all. I do plenty of things for him. We reciprocate. This is an occurrence that is happening more frequently. And I didn't go off on him at all. No fighting or fussing. I was just venting.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
I understand what yall are saying. This happens a lot I just don't always post about it. And since our time is cut down to once weekly it adds up quick.
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It's part of that workaholic trait IMO. The need to be needed and busy, almost overly helpful to others. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I'm glad you are venting. When men do good, especially black men, their women are encouraged to hush and be glad they have a good man. But my biggest lesson this year was that neglect is neglect, period, regardless if you are out partying or saving lives, cheating or mentoring someone. The woman still feels sad inside and neglected and having others shush her is not helpful. Not saying your guy is full on neglecting you in particular, but more generally saying that it is important that we as women stay in touch with our feelings and not let men off the hook, even if they are doing good or doing something "important". If they want us it is their job to maintain a healthy balance.
 
hopeful said:
It's part of that workaholic trait IMO. The need to be needed and busy, almost overly helpful to others. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. I'm glad you are venting. When men do good, especially black men, their women are encouraged to hush and be glad they have a good man. But my biggest lesson this year was that neglect is neglect, period, regardless if you are out partying or saving lives, cheating or mentoring someone. The woman still feels sad inside and neglected and having others shush her is not helpful. Not saying your guy is full on neglecting you in particular, but more generally saying that it is important that we as women stay in touch with our feelings and not let men off the hook, even if they are doing good or doing something "important". If they want us it is their job to maintain a healthy balance.
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Thanks hopeful. Trust and believe there is wayyyyyyyy more than what I post here. It's just a snapshot. And if I didn't like the qualities he has I wouldn't be with him. 8 months and we have never had an argument. We discuss things and talk then out. And I'm not saying he was wrong to help his friend, but that I'm feeling some kind of way about being cancelled on again.
And you are so right about him.
And its funny because I used to be the exact same way till I got tired of people using me. There has to be a balance. That's all.
 
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Something happened and idk what because he is saying that everything is fine when obviously it isnt. He shut down and went entirely in his shell this morning and didnt speak again until he left for work. At that point he said that he would probably be working late and for me to not to wait up. :perplexed: i asked him why and he reminded me that i had to get up early and didnt want me to be up late and to get some rest. Yeah that sounds nice but it also sounds like a cop out to me. He usually gives me a kiss before leaving but he grabbed all of his stuff and headed for the door before i said "what no kiss?" He just said oh and headed towards me but i told him i was good and to have a good day. I asked him one last time if he was okay and did i do something wrong but he just said "im fine." Wth man? We had such a great night last night. :rolleyes: he always had the tendancy to get moody and shut me out but we had discussed before that communicating better was something we would work on and wouldnt let hinder our relationship anymore. Why he is reverting back to it idk. I dont think i did anything wrong but who knows. I will give him his space as he wishes. He will have a lot of explaining and making it up to me when/if he decides to return to me. This is stupid i thought we were past this.
 
mallysmommy

I don't think you did anything wrong:nono:. It sounds like everything has been going great. I would definitely give him his space. Make him miss you. Go to sleep early, get up early and get going, I would come just short of ignoring him the next couple of days. I think he is falling in love with you and is scared. Also, when men get extra close to a woman they often pull away some, like they are afraid of losing themselves. In any case I really don't think you did anything wrong at all. For now I would assume it is something other than you: moodiness, fears, work, etc.
 
hopeful said:
mallysmommy

I don't think you did anything wrong:nono:. It sounds like everything has been going great. I would definitely give him his space. Make him miss you. Go to sleep early, get up early and get going, I would come just short of ignoring him the next couple of days. I think he is falling in love with you and is scared. Also, when men get extra close to a woman they often pull away some, like they are afraid of losing themselves. In any case I really don't think you did anything wrong at all. For now I would assume it is something other than you: moodiness, fears, work, etc.
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This ain't nothing but truth!!!!!!
 
hopeful said:
mallysmommy

I don't think you did anything wrong:nono:. It sounds like everything has been going great. I would definitely give him his space. Make him miss you. Go to sleep early, get up early and get going, I would come just short of ignoring him the next couple of days. I think he is falling in love with you and is scared. Also, when men get extra close to a woman they often pull away some, like they are afraid of losing themselves. In any case I really don't think you did anything wrong at all. For now I would assume it is something other than you: moodiness, fears, work, etc.
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I really hope so hopeful and thank you so much. Just about all of my past relationships began to end just like this, where they pull away and never comeback. I fear that it may be because we have been spending too much time together but he initiated everything of recent times so idk. I plan to do exactly as you posted and just leave him alone. He knows where to find me and how to contact if he wants to....:sad: i wont see him at all until sunday because of our schedules so we shall see.
 
Yea mallysmommy. Men can get 'flooded' early on. Soooo much time together and as my dude has said in the past they need "man time". So perhaps his space is needed for a few days or a week or so. That's just how they are. They come back stronger in the relationship after that or so I've experienced
 
My SO texted me at work on thursday asking me how my day was. I of course was venting bc I am counting my days until I leave that place. He then said we need to have a plan for 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 50 years. I asked for what? He said our goals, visions, mission, lifestyle, diet, etc etc. He said we need to be focused. I said I always write in my journal. He said we need to do it together so we can be on the same page. He told me I can't do it alone. I told him, if I would have said something first, he would done it when he wanted to do it. He then said True. You are very wise. I said why? He said, you know the 48 powers? I said yea...but i didn't get what he was coming from bc i don't know the laws like that. He mentioned sharing credit with others.

Letting others think that they made the decision :lol:.

I told him i wasn't even thinking of it like that, he said you did it subconsciously. It has taken me a long time to get to that point in general. Its humbling to become more submissive in that way. And you get your way alot without even trying to.

We are going through our changes, especially with me moving up there soon. Striving for a positive relationship take work and is rewarding. Its not perfect but I am thankful for it. This is the first relationship where I am seeing a relationship without rose tinted lenses and romance overload (which I feel at time can cloud judgement). I am actually more realistic but still loving. I am learning love is a choice. It is different when you come into a relationship with love from already from within.
 
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crlsweetie912 so did we :reddancer: he got some nosebleeds tix to the cowboys redskins game today and wants me to come. He knows good and dang well that idgaf about fooseball but i accepted. Should be good bonding time and at the very least drinking time :look:
 
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