DancingAlison
Active Member
A picnic. I have been wanting to do that with my BF, but I want to buy a real picnic basket first.
2013 Whats happening Relationship Folks
- Thread starter **SaSSy**
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A picnic. I have been wanting to do that with my BF, but I want to buy a real picnic basket first.
mallysmommy
Well-Known Member
This is my guy as well. He gets me flowers because he over heard me saying how much i loved them before we began dating but outside of that he is no where near the mushy type. He chooses his words carefully and is quiet most times. He says he doesnt like for people to "read" him
but his actions let me know exactly how he feels about me and us. He remembers every detail of everything i say. He knows what i like and can anticipate most of my needs. He told me that he just wants me to be happy and that makes up for everything else. He also says that "if i didnt like you i wouldnt be here" spiel as well. He is a gemini/cancer hybrid 
Swagger
Well-Known Member
This is a VERY LONG read
I've been with my man now for four months and its been a little up and down.
The only real problem is the communication of feelings. I'm a Virgo and he is a Sag. I like to know what's going on in ppl's heads and 9/10 I can read u like a book within 5 minutes.
My man? He is sssssooooo QUIET , shy and non emotional at times. Like, I'm the same way, but he is on some whole other level, like when we first met (met him online after 2 months) he could barely look at me for hours and he just kept smiling the whole time, but was really quiet and I can tell a bit anxious. Its weird cuz Sags are usually really outgoing, sociable and all that jazz. He's his sign in every other way though. We live in a real mountain area so he spends life camping, mountain biking, snowboarding, hockey, etc. He does landscapes for a living so he is always outside coming home all broken up where I have to massage that AWESOME body
.
He is the most considerate person ever. He'll do anything for you. Very humorous, wont even think about asking you to pay for something, hardworking. Beautiful at coloring, enjoys cuddling( I'm not that type of gal lol had to get used to it) and trusts me to the keys of his house. I know he loves spending time with me, I've been over here the last 4 days now...but that was after we had THE TALK. I mean, I didn't expect to have it so soon, but I couldn't deal with his nonverbal ways
.
In the beginning we wouldn't go a day without talking and it would last all day. Then we both started getting really busy but we still made sure to check in atleast once a day. Then it started becoming sporadic where days would go by and that was hard on me ( surprising becuz I'm usually not thirsty for anybody like that). When I finally moved back over here I thought it would get better cuz we literally live like 2 or 3 blocks away from each other. We spend a lot of time texting because I'm a senior and have a full course load plus working, and he works from 7 until sometimes 6 at night and when he comes home he crashes for a couple hours so we really have to make time at night to be together or text. Well all that is fine and dandy except he started being really cold towards me. I know his regular quiet from his jerky silence lol and after a while I got fed up like whats up with you?
Basically, he keeps all his emotions inside. Like deep inside, where you have to claw at him! Its like pulling teeth honestly and like I said I knew that in the beginning but over time I thought I would get somewhere with it. But that aint happen. He says a few things about his life sometimes but doesn't go into detail, like how he moved away from home, loves where he comes from but wont be happy there, and wont tell me why. He says he was the quiet one in the family who left. Sometimes he shuts down completely for like a week, changed plans of us going out and after a minute I lost patience thinking okay you just messing with me now, probably focusing attention on someone else, and I gotta cut you loose. Even though I knew it was damn near impossible he was with someone else, cuz he seriously just has no time in the day! Always sleeping or working with a couple hours in between for me.
So after a few days of silence between us he texts me saying he wanted us to go to the mountains the next day...I didn't reply because he had already cancelled plans like this. The next night or something I finally texted him at midnight knowing I was waking him up, because I couldn't deal. I felt really hurt, but I also felt bad that I didn't reply to him. So I said I missed him, and I know its late and talk later. He texted me right back saying he missed me too, he hadn't heard from me and thought I was upset with him ( he also knows my regular quiet nature from my upset silence
)and he wanted me to come over the next day. He really wanted me by his side and I told him he hadn't been acting like it for a while. Then all of sudden he let go and started explaining what was up.
He said he needed time to think, felt like he was selfish and I deserved better, he didn't have enough to offer me. He was scared of moving too fast, really cautious from his past and he had been working nonstop for the past couple of weeks and just burnt out really. But mostly just scared (of being hurt again) and thinks that I deserve someone more established. What it is, is that he's slowly building a landscaping business and its hard, and its been raining for months here and just a lot of things have been going on with that and he thinks I deserve the world right now at this very instant you know? And with me, I'm like honey you're already getting there. You graduated with your degree in urban geography, u moved out of your parents house when u were 18 and never went back, moved across the country on your own, u have your own place, your own car,pay all your bills! He doesn't have nicest of those things, but that's ok he's building and has no sense of fashion or décor. We can build together is what I'm trying to get through to him, and plus I'm a lot younger than him and I'm still in school trying to figure myself out so I'm not one to judge too harshly.
I know the women in Off topic will chew my head off because I'm with a white man who isn't a multimillionaire....just yet. Its all good. I know my man's potential, and he aint sittin around twiddling his thumbs, he works hard, and with his hands, a provider and is building that company now, a Go-getter in my eyes. And he's HOT, I mean, darnit he looks better than me!! 6 foot, hazel eyes, lean and muscular, tan from working outside, full lips, angular face, big hands and feetAnd I'm easy on the eyes too if I say so myself 
Anyway, I know I've been babbling, I just haven't been able to get this out, except with one of my homegirls and I've been lurking this thread for like over a month. We're in a good place right now, I'm typing this at his place, he came home early an hr ago because of the rain and is sleeping in the other room while I pretend to do my homework lol We've been together nonstop like I said for the past 4 days and its been him asking to be with me....he has become the thirsty one and I am pleased
I think what I'm going to have to do in our relationship is learn to be more patient, let go of my wanting to know everything going on in his brain all the time and let him be himself, let him open up at his steady pace....until I feel he's really holding back again! Trust your instincts ladies! Accept his quiet nature, appreciate the small gestures he does when he thinks I don't notice, and massage those kinks out his joints after a long day
I've been with my man now for four months and its been a little up and down.
The only real problem is the communication of feelings. I'm a Virgo and he is a Sag. I like to know what's going on in ppl's heads and 9/10 I can read u like a book within 5 minutes.
My man? He is sssssooooo QUIET , shy and non emotional at times. Like, I'm the same way, but he is on some whole other level, like when we first met (met him online after 2 months) he could barely look at me for hours and he just kept smiling the whole time, but was really quiet and I can tell a bit anxious. Its weird cuz Sags are usually really outgoing, sociable and all that jazz. He's his sign in every other way though. We live in a real mountain area so he spends life camping, mountain biking, snowboarding, hockey, etc. He does landscapes for a living so he is always outside coming home all broken up where I have to massage that AWESOME body
. He is the most considerate person ever. He'll do anything for you. Very humorous, wont even think about asking you to pay for something, hardworking. Beautiful at coloring, enjoys cuddling( I'm not that type of gal lol had to get used to it) and trusts me to the keys of his house. I know he loves spending time with me, I've been over here the last 4 days now...but that was after we had THE TALK. I mean, I didn't expect to have it so soon, but I couldn't deal with his nonverbal ways
.In the beginning we wouldn't go a day without talking and it would last all day. Then we both started getting really busy but we still made sure to check in atleast once a day. Then it started becoming sporadic where days would go by and that was hard on me ( surprising becuz I'm usually not thirsty for anybody like that). When I finally moved back over here I thought it would get better cuz we literally live like 2 or 3 blocks away from each other. We spend a lot of time texting because I'm a senior and have a full course load plus working, and he works from 7 until sometimes 6 at night and when he comes home he crashes for a couple hours so we really have to make time at night to be together or text. Well all that is fine and dandy except he started being really cold towards me. I know his regular quiet from his jerky silence lol and after a while I got fed up like whats up with you?
Basically, he keeps all his emotions inside. Like deep inside, where you have to claw at him! Its like pulling teeth honestly and like I said I knew that in the beginning but over time I thought I would get somewhere with it. But that aint happen. He says a few things about his life sometimes but doesn't go into detail, like how he moved away from home, loves where he comes from but wont be happy there, and wont tell me why. He says he was the quiet one in the family who left. Sometimes he shuts down completely for like a week, changed plans of us going out and after a minute I lost patience thinking okay you just messing with me now, probably focusing attention on someone else, and I gotta cut you loose. Even though I knew it was damn near impossible he was with someone else, cuz he seriously just has no time in the day! Always sleeping or working with a couple hours in between for me.
So after a few days of silence between us he texts me saying he wanted us to go to the mountains the next day...I didn't reply because he had already cancelled plans like this. The next night or something I finally texted him at midnight knowing I was waking him up, because I couldn't deal. I felt really hurt, but I also felt bad that I didn't reply to him. So I said I missed him, and I know its late and talk later. He texted me right back saying he missed me too, he hadn't heard from me and thought I was upset with him ( he also knows my regular quiet nature from my upset silence
)and he wanted me to come over the next day. He really wanted me by his side and I told him he hadn't been acting like it for a while. Then all of sudden he let go and started explaining what was up. He said he needed time to think, felt like he was selfish and I deserved better, he didn't have enough to offer me. He was scared of moving too fast, really cautious from his past and he had been working nonstop for the past couple of weeks and just burnt out really. But mostly just scared (of being hurt again) and thinks that I deserve someone more established. What it is, is that he's slowly building a landscaping business and its hard, and its been raining for months here and just a lot of things have been going on with that and he thinks I deserve the world right now at this very instant you know? And with me, I'm like honey you're already getting there. You graduated with your degree in urban geography, u moved out of your parents house when u were 18 and never went back, moved across the country on your own, u have your own place, your own car,pay all your bills! He doesn't have nicest of those things, but that's ok he's building and has no sense of fashion or décor
. We can build together is what I'm trying to get through to him, and plus I'm a lot younger than him and I'm still in school trying to figure myself out so I'm not one to judge too harshly. I know the women in Off topic will chew my head off because I'm with a white man who isn't a multimillionaire....just yet. Its all good. I know my man's potential, and he aint sittin around twiddling his thumbs, he works hard, and with his hands, a provider and is building that company now, a Go-getter in my eyes. And he's HOT, I mean, darnit he looks better than me!! 6 foot, hazel eyes, lean and muscular, tan from working outside, full lips, angular face, big hands and feet
And I'm easy on the eyes too if I say so myself Anyway, I know I've been babbling, I just haven't been able to get this out, except with one of my homegirls and I've been lurking this thread for like over a month. We're in a good place right now, I'm typing this at his place, he came home early an hr ago because of the rain and is sleeping in the other room while I pretend to do my homework lol We've been together nonstop like I said for the past 4 days and its been him asking to be with me....he has become the thirsty one and I am pleased
I think what I'm going to have to do in our relationship is learn to be more patient, let go of my wanting to know everything going on in his brain all the time and let him be himself, let him open up at his steady pace....until I feel he's really holding back again! Trust your instincts ladies! Accept his quiet nature, appreciate the small gestures he does when he thinks I don't notice, and massage those kinks out his joints after a long day
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
He returned my email.I didnt expect him to. I sure enjoy hearing from him.
Anyone deal with a less emotive guy? How do you get secure in that?
I'm so used to men unabashedly wearing their feelings on their sleeves. I realize this leaves me questioning us all the time as his communication style is way different than what I usually attract. He doesn't much say certain things but when he wants to see me that's it. He's coming over. We're going out. He shows mild jealous and certainly possessive traits--not dangerously tho. IDK...I'm baffled. Insights, wise women?
My guy is a scorp who maintains WELL. He's a former marine and in L.E. I wish he was more expressive. He's been trained to restrain his emotions and rarely brings up concerns. I'm used to him so I know when he's upset even with no words. I got a text from a guy a dated the other day and I KNOW he didn't like it. He didn't say NUFFIN but I know.
He's very affectionate. We hold hands even when we sleep, you would never tell that he's very affectionate. He doesn't initiate well either and his feelings get hurt if I reject his affections (and coloring). IDK, I love the way he's secretly passionate, affectionate and sensitive on the low. But it's not what I'm was used to (like you mentioned). We went to a bike show the other day and a couple of guys I know came to say hello, some knew him too. After they'd walk away he'd look at me and in a casual, laid back way would ask "so, how do you know so and so?" Basically asking if I dated them...it was cute. Other than that, that man will show very little signs of jealousy. I like the level that he shows...it's within normal range. I can take more if he wants to give it
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DarkJoy
Bent. Not Broken.
Thanks Fine 4s. Mine is a military brat. Both parents. I wonder if that has something to do with it--as in low emotion being all he was given an example of? Yours is cute with the jealousy thing--and that I get too. If a guy talks to me, he'll say, "Oh. 
he was flirting with you, wasnt he." in a flat tone but not really a question. But you can feeeeeeeeel he's seeeeeething inside!
Still, it's disappointing I havent heard from him in a couple days. Just emails. No calls all week. In a few more days, I'll start to feel the need to move on (have already, as a matter of fact)-I scoot pretty quick when dissatisfied... think I worry more about me than him sometimes.
he was flirting with you, wasnt he." in a flat tone but not really a question. But you can feeeeeeeeel he's seeeeeething inside!Still, it's disappointing I havent heard from him in a couple days. Just emails. No calls all week. In a few more days, I'll start to feel the need to move on (have already, as a matter of fact)-I scoot pretty quick when dissatisfied... think I worry more about me than him sometimes.
mallysmommy
Well-Known Member
We are having something right now. Im not sure what it is. I didnt like his response and reaction to a sitaution that happened. I had flashbacks of horrible boyfriends before when it happened. I think i should lay low if he reaches out then cool if not when i am calm i will confront him.
khadicurls
Well-Known Member
My ex was outwardly unemotional too. It was really difficult. He also wasn't very affectionate. There was no PDA. We never held hands and barely kissed. He mostly told me he loved me when he was angry. One thing he never hid was his jealousy. The sad thing is he knew that he was his temperament and tried to tell me that his brother's girlfriend broke up with him for the same reason. It's odd because his brother was personable when I met him. But the was then...
My guy promised that he will be gentle I also don't know what it is about him whispering in my ear in Spanish but it does it for me. I don't even know what the heck he is saying.
My guy promised that he will be gentle
I also don't know what it is about him whispering in my ear in Spanish but it does it for me. I don't even know what the heck he is saying.
tinkat
Well-Known Member
You post stood out to me and it is interesting bc I have had those moments before. An elder told me when I was on three way with her and my SO that whenever a button has been pushed think about why it was pushed. Alot of times it not my SO, it's something from my past that triggers the irritation. Once I figure out that trigger, I let him know what triggered it from the past and work on not letting it bother me anymore.
Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
Life has been so crazy but he's been right there with me. I can't believe tomorrow makes seven months. I'm happy and blessed that in the midst of our life storms, we have each other. It's such a wonderful feeling.
Lissa0821
Well-Known Member
Somebody please tell what is up with women, making eye contact, speaking and flirting on the down low when you are out with your man. He even admitted he gets much more female attention when we are out together than when he is by himself.
Don't get me wrong I know there is nothing wrong with speaking, its the subtle flirtation stuff that goes on that works my nerves. I use to see couples out and about and the woman would usually have this mean mug on her face, I use to wonder what that is about but now I understand a little better. I refuse to walk around mean muggin folks to scare them off from their disrespectful flirtation attempts. But if one more heifer, try that batty eyes or soft spoken hello to my man in my presence, it is not going to pretty. Rant over!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't get me wrong I know there is nothing wrong with speaking, its the subtle flirtation stuff that goes on that works my nerves. I use to see couples out and about and the woman would usually have this mean mug on her face, I use to wonder what that is about but now I understand a little better. I refuse to walk around mean muggin folks to scare them off from their disrespectful flirtation attempts. But if one more heifer, try that batty eyes or soft spoken hello to my man in my presence, it is not going to pretty. Rant over!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okange76
Well-Known Member
Lissa0821
Unfortunately attached or married men scream responsibilty/stability to society whether they are or not. The fact that he has "settled down" with you makes him seem more attractive, responsible, stable and women will be trying to find out what he is all about.
On the flip side, many men are receptive to this type of behavior from women and that's why they are so bold. It has probably worked in their favor plenty of times.
Unfortunately attached or married men scream responsibilty/stability to society whether they are or not. The fact that he has "settled down" with you makes him seem more attractive, responsible, stable and women will be trying to find out what he is all about.
On the flip side, many men are receptive to this type of behavior from women and that's why they are so bold. It has probably worked in their favor plenty of times.
Lissa0821
Well-Known Member
okange76 Thanks for providing that insight I guess I have been looking at it from my point of view. If I see an attractive man, who appear to be his lady, I would just think to myself "he's cute" and keep it moving. It never crossed my mind to subtly try to get his attention at all.
okange76
Well-Known Member
Girl, he's probably so relaxed when you are around him. You got that man all happy and cheezing and all the ladies see that and they want some of him. Just chill and be proud you have a hot man with you. No need to mean mug in fact, make a game out of it. Make him blush about how hot they think he is and you totally agree. You'll have him eating out of your hand. As long as he is not disrespecting you, you are good.
tinkat
Well-Known Member
deltadreamland
Well-Known Member
He's always pretty awesome, but he's been extra super duper awesome lately. Monday is a late work day for me. I get of of work at 4 and afterwards I'm in class from 5 to 9 at night. I make it home around ten. This past Monday was my first with this insane schedule.
Around 8 he sends me a picture of the dinner he cooked for us. Packed it up in Tupper ware and brought it over to me when I finally made it in around 10. Since then, he has cooked dinner every night and ran all of my errands while I'm at work. Love him soooo much.
Around 8 he sends me a picture of the dinner he cooked for us. Packed it up in Tupper ware and brought it over to me when I finally made it in around 10. Since then, he has cooked dinner every night and ran all of my errands while I'm at work. Love him soooo much.
tinkat
Well-Known Member
That is very thoughtful of him deltadreamland.
Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
deltadreamland.Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
mallysmommy
Well-Known Member
Meh...crisis averted men...
men...
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Briabiggles
Well-Known Member
Why is being with him so darn easy? 
When's the other shoe gonna drop, huh?? There HAS to be something!! Right?
Sent from my iPad mini mini.
When's the other shoe gonna drop, huh?? There HAS to be something!! Right?Sent from my iPad mini mini.
TayMac
Well-Known Member
Why is being with him so darn easy?
Sent from my iPad mini mini.
Just enjoy it girl lol! You guys are building your foundation so whatever little issue may arise, you will be prepared to deal with it and know the love is always there.
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Yyyyyeah...he's on vacation with the boys in Miami *gulp*
City of tans, butts and itty bitty bikinis. I'm sweating here!
Anyway, he just Facetimed me while I'm at work twice and I didn't pick up. Errrr...my face don't look right on Facetime today lol. Come to find out he was jet skying! I'm so hating.
And yes, I did shed a tear when he left. That's my ace man! I felt so alone when he pulled off. Then I thought of all the freedom and grandma panties I can wear and how I can DC my hair extra long LOL!
City of tans, butts and itty bitty bikinis. I'm sweating here!
Anyway, he just Facetimed me while I'm at work twice and I didn't pick up. Errrr...my face don't look right on Facetime today lol. Come to find out he was jet skying! I'm so hating.
And yes, I did shed a tear when he left. That's my ace man! I felt so alone when he pulled off. Then I thought of all the freedom and grandma panties I can wear and how I can DC my hair extra long LOL!
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Lissa0821 I posted something like this from the previous weekend. Homegirl straight out told him "oh I'll stop by when I see your car outside" errr....am I not standing here. That's just rude IMO. I can't wait to become wifey and FEEL like I have license to say...'excuse me but that's also my home and we won't be around that weekend.' LOL or something more rude....
Lissa0821
Well-Known Member
Fine 4s It happens quite often here in the Atl, both young and older women. The older one will say something if I walk away or not in hearing distance but these youngsters will say something on sly while I am right next to him. I am thankful he is an alpha male and is kind of turn off by women hitting on him. He perfers the chase, no chase no challenge for him.
IMO its always the mans job to reject desperate women. If he told her no and she kept coming back, then I would be annoyed and join forces.
It's much more humiliating for the woman to be cut down by SO in front of me
He can be very cold with it
khadicurls
Well-Known Member
I am so in awe of this man. He just continues to amaze me with his words and actions. This is so nice.
OAN, I just had a great conversation with one of my dearest friends. I went silent for a while and it was great to catch up with her. I have truly missed her. Friendships are so important to me.
OAN, I just had a great conversation with one of my dearest friends. I went silent for a while and it was great to catch up with her. I have truly missed her. Friendships are so important to me.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
He survived a day at the hospital with my mamma while I was in surgery......and he didn't run. I think I'll keep him.
mallysmommy
Well-Known Member
#happy. We sat we talked we squashed it and we are back to the good part.
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