2013 Whats happening Relationship Folks

I'm going through it y'all! I'm still with the Sag, but a month ago I felt like he wasn't the one for me, so I started dating someone else... How coincidental that the new guy was bragging about me to his friends and one of them is my dude? My dude went crazy on me... Asking how dare I give my number to this random dude and go out with him.. Like he wasn't a random dude last year... I never even kissed the new guy, but we have amazing chemistry.... Like we can talk for hours and not get bored with each other... We like the same things and everything.. It's like fireworks. My dude told me that I need to stop talking to him, so I did (out of loyalty since I've know him longer)... He called me a few days later saying that he doesn't want to stop talking to me and if he has to not be his friend anymore, he's willing. I told him that I couldn't do that to my dude and we would have to be done (my dude said not even friends :lachen:).

My dude and I are on good terms, but I miss the other guy. I can't even like his photos on Instagram without feeling like my dude is going to say something. We didn't even know each other long, but I feel like I lost my best friend.. :( . He texts me everyday and calls, but I just ignore him. I'm so tempted to call him on a blocked number, so I can hear his voice and tell him what's up, but I don't want anymore drama to happen.

It's all bad y'all. :(
 
AHeadOfCoils said:
I'm going through it y'all! I'm still with the Sag, but a month ago I felt like he wasn't the one for me, so I started dating someone else... How coincidental that the new guy was bragging about me to his friends and one of them is my dude? My dude went crazy on me... Asking how dare I give my number to this random dude and go out with him.. Like he wasn't a random dude last year... I never even kissed the new guy, but we have amazing chemistry.... Like we can talk for hours and not get bored with each other... We like the same things and everything.. It's like fireworks. My dude told me that I need to stop talking to him, so I did (out of loyalty since I've know him longer)... He called me a few days later saying that he doesn't want to stop talking to me and if he has to not be his friend anymore, he's willing. I told him that I couldn't do that to my dude and we would have to be done (my dude said not even friends :lachen:).

My dude and I are on good terms, but I miss the other guy. I can't even like his photos on Instagram without feeling like my dude is going to say something. We didn't even know each other long, but I feel like I lost my best friend.. :( . He texts me everyday and calls, but I just ignore him. I'm so tempted to call him on a blocked number, so I can hear his voice and tell him what's up, but I don't want anymore drama to happen.

It's all bad y'all. :(
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If dude likes you so much, then he needs to step it up so there is no void that another man can just ease in like that lol.
 
If you are certain that your dude (Are you two in a committed relationship?) is not the one for you, why not explore other options?

AHeadOfCoils said:
I'm going through it y'all! I'm still with the Sag, but a month ago I felt like he wasn't the one for me, so I started dating someone else... How coincidental that the new guy was bragging about me to his friends and one of them is my dude? My dude went crazy on me... Asking how dare I give my number to this random dude and go out with him.. Like he wasn't a random dude last year... I never even kissed the new guy, but we have amazing chemistry.... Like we can talk for hours and not get bored with each other... We like the same things and everything.. It's like fireworks. My dude told me that I need to stop talking to him, so I did (out of loyalty since I've know him longer)... He called me a few days later saying that he doesn't want to stop talking to me and if he has to not be his friend anymore, he's willing. I told him that I couldn't do that to my dude and we would have to be done (my dude said not even friends :lachen:).

My dude and I are on good terms, but I miss the other guy. I can't even like his photos on Instagram without feeling like my dude is going to say something. We didn't even know each other long, but I feel like I lost my best friend.. :( . He texts me everyday and calls, but I just ignore him. I'm so tempted to call him on a blocked number, so I can hear his voice and tell him what's up, but I don't want anymore drama to happen.

It's all bad y'all. :(
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TwoSnapsUp said:
If you are certain that your dude (Are you two in a committed relationship?) is not the one for you, why not explore other options?
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Sounds like that's what she did.

Did you tell him you wanted to see other people? On the other hand, if you don't think he's the one for you, why do you still see him? Is this a ploy to wake him up or to get him to do what you want? BTW, what do you want from him (not sure if you feel comfortable telling) What if he starts dating other women?

Lawd...IDK Coils...be careful not to mess up everything. My suggestion would be to be honest about the outcome you want and be sure that the way you're going about it is the best way to achieve it while being honest to all parties involved. Karma exists!
 
As far as I was concerned, we were not in a committed relationship, when I started talking to the other guy. According to my dude he thought it was an unspoken thing and that we weren't talking to other people. He knows that's not what he was thinking.. He was like oh she's not dating anyone else, but he probably was.. I didn't care enough to ask though, since I was halfway checked out.

Now it's official (he practically forced me to agree not to see other people), but I'm really sad about not being able to talk to the other guy. I really don't know what's going on... Dude started throwing out the love word and he even had tears in his eyes. I honestly feel like that's that Sag guilt trip. The only reason I talked to somebody else was because he wasn't giving me the amount of attention that I needed, but since someone else was its a problem.
 
AHeadOfCoils said:
As far as I was concerned, we were not in a committed relationship, when I started talking to the other guy. According to my dude he thought it was an unspoken thing and that we weren't talking to other people. He knows that's not what he was thinking.. He was like oh she's not dating anyone else, but he probably was.. I didn't care enough to ask though, since I was halfway checked out.

Now it's official (he practically forced me to agree not to see other people), but I'm really sad about not being able to talk to the other guy. I really don't know what's going on... Dude started throwing out the love word and he even had tears in his eyes. I honestly feel like that's that Sag guilt trip. The only reason I talked to somebody else was because he wasn't giving me the amount of attention that I needed, but since someone else was its a problem.
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Ooooh Coils, if he doesn't step up let him know! Clearly he sees you have options so...this is a classic case of how ambiguity can work against you! Good!
 
would it be crazy of me to end a 1+ year relationship over a sink? i beg him EVERY SINGLE DAY to rinse it out after he uses it and he NEVER does. i feel like im at my wits end. like honestly, how do you even let a sink get dirty? there is water coming out of faucet so when you're finished doing whatever you are doing take some of that water in your hands and splash it on whatever debris is in the sink. takes all of 3 seconds.

im tired of nearly vomiting every time i walk up to the sink because he's left some old nasty bull**** in it. what are you doing?! how are your hands that dirty?! where is all this gross **** coming from?!

i know i sound dramatic but i just dont understand.
 
AHeadOfCoils said:
As far as I was concerned, we were not in a committed relationship, when I started talking to the other guy. According to my dude he thought it was an unspoken thing and that we weren't talking to other people. He knows that's not what he was thinking.. He was like oh she's not dating anyone else, but he probably was.. I didn't care enough to ask though, since I was halfway checked out.

Now it's official (he practically forced me to agree not to see other people), but I'm really sad about not being able to talk to the other guy. I really don't know what's going on... Dude started throwing out the love word and he even had tears in his eyes. I honestly feel like that's that Sag guilt trip. The only reason I talked to somebody else was because he wasn't giving me the amount of attention that I needed, but since someone else was its a problem.
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I feel you have two options: either leave both of them or go with the other dude. But things between you and your "boyfriend" and gone. You won't be able to convince yourself to like him enough to make you stay
 
SO drove to DC to pick up his daughter and they just got back in town a little while ago. They came straight to my house. She jumped out the car and ran straight into my arms. This is our second summer with his daughter and my son. Should be interesting. They only stayed a few minutes since they'd been on the road all day and I'm sure he's tired from driving. But she immediately asks if she can spend the night with me. I think that kinda hurt his feelings, so I smoothed it over and told her to wait a few days.

OAN: He brought me back some Delta Centennial goodies since I couldn't make the trip. I love my honey!
 
Sigh....we don't spend enough time together. I have to admit I'm being tested in this area. I have totally dumped guys for exactly this reason. We both are under a lot of stress and so much is going on. This is building my patience. I love him so much and I surely don't want to lose him. I'm between the proverbial rock and hard place....
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Sigh....we don't spend enough time together. I have to admit I'm being tested in this area. I have totally dumped guys for exactly this reason. We both are under a lot of stress and so much is going on. This is building my patience. I love him so much and I surely don't want to lose him. I'm between the proverbial rock and hard place....
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I can definitely understand. From what what you have posted about him he seems like a great guy. I think this is one of those times where patience matters. I have been tested in my current relationship bc not only are we long distance but he is an entrepreneur. I don't know how many times someone told me that it takes a certain type of woman to be with an entrepreneur who is building their company. Despite that this is the best relationship I ever had.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
tinkat said:
I can definitely understand. From what what you have posted about him he seems like a great guy. I think this is one of those times where patience matters. I have been tested in my current relationship bc not only are we long distance but he is an entrepreneur. I don't know how many times someone told me that it takes a certain type of woman to be with an entrepreneur who is building their company. Despite that this is the best relationship I ever had.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
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You are right.
This is building something in me that needed to be strengthened. I sat and really thought about it and prayed. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. He's not neglecting me. Not in the least. Every day he tells me and shows me that he misses me and loves me. I just have to work through it. Thanks y'all for listening to my vent...
 
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Today we attended many social activist discussions and peaceful demonstrations. I drag him to all kinds of events from grass root joints in the hood to Harvard Law discussions.

He will always remember me for this, that's for sure :)
 
I may have to end my relationship...

I love him, but the fact that he has a child has really started to weigh on me. I know that I will never come first in this relationship, that was a given from the beginning. If the tables were turned and I had a child, he or she would come first. I just don't feel important at all, like I don't belong hereI feel awful because I think that I'm being selfish, after all she is just a little girl. I really am trying hard to understand, but this feeling of loneliness and feeling not important sucks.

I don't know what to do
 
qtslim83 said:
I may have to end my relationship...

I love him, but the fact that he has a child has really started to weigh on me. I know that I will never come first in this relationship, that was a given from the beginning. If the tables were turned and I had a child, he or she would come first. I just don't feel important at all, like I don't belong hereI feel awful because I think that I'm being selfish, after all she is just a little girl. I really am trying hard to understand, but this feeling of loneliness and feeling not important sucks.

I don't know what to do
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other then him having a child...how does he treat you?
 
sylver2 said:
other then him having a child...how does he treat you?
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He treats me well, I wish I was able to get more time with him...but his job is demanding and it stresses him out a lot

ETA: the child and I get along well, my problem isn't with her, just the fact that I don't feel important to my SO her father
 
qtslim83 said:
He treats me well, I wish I was able to get more time with him...but his job is demanding and it stresses him out a lot

ETA: the child and I get along well, my problem isn't with her, just the fact that I don't feel important to my SO her father
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Has he done anything to make you feel unimportant?

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
qtslim83 said:
He treats me well, I wish I was able to get more time with him...but his job is demanding and it stresses him out a lot

ETA: the child and I get along well, my problem isn't with her, just the fact that I don't feel important to my SO her father
Click to expand...

Was having a child previously a deal breaker for you?
 
tinkat said:
Has he done anything to make you feel unimportant?

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

Yes, I feel like he has. We don't spend as much time together as before.

crlsweetie912 said:
Was having a child previously a deal breaker for you?
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I can't really say that it was. I've dated a man with a child before, but nothing this serious. The previous men either didn't see the child/children as much or didn't have anything to do with them at all. SO is very active in his child's life...it's what he's supposed to do. I don't think I would care for him as much if he was a neglectful father. I just don't want to feel like a third wheel when she's around. I try to incorporate myself into things and he invites me to things with them both.
 
I just told him last night that I'm going to San Diego this weekend....He wasn't too happy about it, therefore I decided not to tell him about Vegas. :look: I'll wait til the date nears then i'll tell him......:yep:
 
A856 said:
I just told him last night that I'm going to San Diego this weekend....He wasn't too happy about it, therefore I decided not to tell him about Vegas. :look: I'll wait til the date nears then i'll tell him......:yep:
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My SO was like "you have a tendency to just slide things in on me. That's not cool :nono:" Welp. :look:

I'm throwing a surprise party for my dad this weekend, but my bday is also this weekend, and I absentmindedly referred to it as "my party." He said "who's throwing you a party? Why didn't you tell me about the party!? Who, other than me, is paying for a party for you?:whyme:" He's starting to get paranoid because I'm slowly lapsing back into "Imma do me" mode. I love him so dearly, but at a year and 6 months, we're coming dangerously close to "put up or shut up" territory. He started off talking about moving in together and planning for the future and "send me rings you like" freakishly soon. Well it's been a year and 6 months, dude. No longer freakishly soon so you need to bring that back or get back :look:

He lives in the next town over, (which isn't very far; about 40 minutes away, but miles on our cars to be traveling all the time :look:) but a few months ago, put a deposit on a townhouse about ten minutes away from me at the end of August. So another thing I said was, because I haven't been over in a couple of weeks and when he calls me to come over, instead of go out, I've been like "eh..." (cause I love him but I've been enjoying my free time before he moves really close...or whatever happens :look:) anyway I said "I'm mentally divorcing myself from your place in [name of town]" and he freaked out. "What's going on with you? You got people throwing you parties you don't tell me about and you're making these plans and you're divorcing yourself from my place!?" Men are funny :look:

Anyway, we went to a wedding for one of his coworkers this weekend and had a great time. I forgot how hot he is :look:
 
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