2013 Whats happening Relationship Folks

Lucie said:
I wanted to see him yesterday. I intended it and didn't know how it would manifest. We both ended up at Brasserie Creole (a Haitian restaurant). I was stunned. I will never doubt the power of intention and really setting out your desires. This also reminded me that I also need to keep my thoughts and convos pure. My cousin was also stunned at what had occurred. When I think of all the things I did that morning, deciding what outfit to wear, shaving my legs, styling my hair, IT ALL LINED UP PERFECTLY! Even our parking spots were in alignment.

I enjoyed Fast 6. He laughed when I clapped at the really intense scenes. He said I am such a Haitian. LOL, he loves it though. It's little things like that, that make me appreciate our cultural similarities.
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I so miss that. Ahh, I sometimes wonder if I'll ever find that connection again.
 
There was a huge train derailment blocks away from his station yesterday. And he had just come off of working a double shift the day before. He's exhausted. I asked him to tell me what I could do for him since I know he's about burned out he said "keep loving me the way you do. That's why I press so hard"
 
I left a mess in his living room and ran out to the gym. Of course he got back to his house before I did. As we're talking about the mess etc. he jokes about having a woman that cleans and then....this is what kinda rubbed me the wrong way, she said that his BM said one day (and I don't know when) "why is your place a mess, Fine 4s doesn't clean?"
 
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Fine 4s said:
I left a mess in his living room and ran out to the gym. Of course he got back to his house before I did. As we're talking about the mess etc. he jokes about having a woman that cleans and then....this is what kinda rubbed me the wrong way, she said that his BM said one day (and I don't know when) "why is your place a mess, Fine 4s doesn't clean?"

Uhm....I don't live here and according to WMLB I'm not suppose to! I guess I'm torn because a part of me thinks I should help clean from time to time. He has a W&D in his home so....I can do laundry :D
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Just for the record, the bolded would piss off almost any woman. The fact that she said it, made the inquiry, and that he repeated it to you.
 
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Oh trust me, I know!

Sometimes...she says things that make me go hmmmm.....I asked him when she said it (after stewing for a bit) and said it was months ago but didn't say anything because he knows how I would feel about it. Deep down, he probably said it to nudge me...but nope. I'm happy he told me though.
 
Fine 4s said:
Oh trust me, I know!

Sometimes...she says things that make me go hmmmm.....I asked him when she said it (after stewing for a bit) and said it was months ago but didn't say anything because he knows how I would feel about it. Deep down, he probably said it to nudge me...but nope. I'm happy he told me though.
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Was it your mess, or his?
 
Vanthie said:
Was it your mess, or his?
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@Vanthie
I don't keep stuff at his house like that, so his mess.
His response to her comment was 'Fine 4s doesn't live here."

I'm sure I contribute to it. I move stuff around, I use blankets and towels, I leave water bottles around after drinking all the water and will eat food and not wash dishes quite a bit. I understand what WMLB says but really, if I had someone consistently come over my house and not contribute to clean up, I would have an issue with it.

He never really made a serious comment about it but that's his style, he's very blaze about things so I don't expect him to keep repeating himself.
 
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qchelle said:
:lol: good. Did a lot of people have it happen to them?
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Surprisingly, yes! When I saw the thread title and that you had started it :giggle: I thought you were being silly, but noooooo! People cry to express gratitude. lol

Fine 4s said:
@Vanthie
I don't keep stuff at his house like that, so his mess.

I'm sure I contribute to it. I move stuff around, I use blankets and towels, I leave water bottles around after drinking all the water and will eat food and not wash dishes quite a bit. I understand what WMLB says but really, if I had someone consistently come over my house and not contribute to clean up, I might have an issue with it. I was talking to a gf of mine and she thought that I should be helping out. I agree.

He never really made a serious comment about it but that's his style, he's very blaze about things so I don't expect him to keep repeating himself.
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Is he really messy? My SO is veeeeeery...well, I'm actually more messy than he is but he's just very careless. He picks up stuff before he leaves or before he lets anybody come over (whereas I would just keep things as tidy as I could in the first place so I don't have to do this big cleaning thing all the time) but when we're just chilling there, he throws clothes and paper towels and stuff on the floor. It's crazy. He's also very lax about towel and dish washing. He keeps--don't judge him :look:--he keeps his dishes in the dishwasher but he doesn't rinse before he puts it in there so there could very well be a dirty spoon next to a clean spoon and when he's going for one he doesn't care which one he picks. :look: When I first started coming over, I would rinse the stuff off--because I need it to be clean for me :look: and he would insist that I didn't or try to do it himself (out of shame, I guess :look:), but see :naughty: I can't trust that :look:.

Anyway, now I do just enough cleaning, if you can call it that, to make myself comfortable. I wash out my cups--I'll wash one for him too if we're both about to have coffee or something, unless he grabs a random possibly dirty one before I get to it--and I stay washing towels because I don't like to reuse them and, plus, I need to see it come out of the dryer with my own two eyes. I've seen him do a load of towels and then drop his towel on the bathroom floor and leave it there for minutes right before he uses it. ummm no.

But all that to say, I really don't think you should feel obligated to do anything other than picking up after yourself, but if you do more than that, maybe start with the areas that would make you feel more comfortable there. My SO still doesn't really want me to wash towels or do dishes, but at the same time, he can make his bedroom look like a tornado and I will get up and leave it looking just like that without picking up a single thing, so we've struck that balance where he understands that I will not be cleaning up after him either now, like I have 2 houses to clean, or later when we live together BUT I'm going to do what I need to do to feel comfortable in this place :look:
 
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InchHighPrivateEye said:
@ InchHighPrivateEye

I'm so not the one to talk about mess. His place is less cluttered.

But all that to say, I really don't think you should feel obligated to do anything other than picking up after yourself, but if you do more than that, maybe start with the areas that would make you feel more comfortable there. My SO still doesn't really want me to wash towels or do dishes, but at the same time, he can make his bedroom look like a tornado and I will get up and leave it looking just like that without picking up a single thing, so we've struck that balance where he understands that I will not be cleaning up after him either now, like I have 2 houses to clean, or later when we live together BUT I'm going to do what I need to do to feel comfortable in this place :look:
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I feel like I'm taking advantage of it not being my place to NOT do house work. I eat there, sometimes cook there, crap there, shower there, I use electricity, I use heat, I have guests over, I sleep there, I move stuff around etc....consistently but I can't wash dishes? or tidy up the living room? Or sweep and mop on occasion? His bedroom will have clothes all around but he doesn't expect me to help there. Honestly, I know I was coasting off the 'don't do wifely duties if you're not a wife' mentality. I think that might apply if I wasn't there as often.

These books will have you messing your own relationship up if you don't apply context LOL Perhaps that thought is directed to women who think they have to play 'wife' to be wanted/chosen. I'm not in that space.

Although this topic is interesting, my beef was this ex thinking she can make such comment and it be OK to do. Like...If it's not a compliment, she need not speak it. I think he needs to let her know...His response was not enough to shut it down have her crying like that woman your SO shut down LOLOLOL
 
Fine 4s said:
I feel like I'm taking advantage of it not being my place to NOT do house work. I eat there, sometimes cook there, crap there, shower there, I use electricity, I use heat, I have guests over, I sleep there, I move stuff around etc....consistently but I can't wash dishes? or tidy up the living room? Or sweep and mop on occasion? His bedroom will have clothes all around but he doesn't expect me to help there. Honestly, I know I was coasting off the 'don't do wifely duties if you're not a wife' mentality. I think that might apply if I wasn't there as often.

These books will have you messing your own relationship up if you don't apply context LOL Perhaps that thought is directed to women who think they have to play 'wife' to be wanted/chosen. I'm not in that space.

Although this topic is interesting, my beef was this ex thinking she can make such comment and it be OK to do. Like...If it's not a compliment, she need not speak it. I think he needs to let her know...His response was not enough to shut it down have her crying like that woman your SO shut down LOLOLOL
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First paragraph: okay, I get it. I'm at his house twice a week max. I've been trying to do more overnights, but the next morning I'm like "byeee, boo!" lol I get what you're saying :yep:

The last paragraph got me feeling like Scrappy's mama. He needs to check huh. Make her answer :look: Keep my name out yo mouth, ex! :mad:

eta: I know this isn't the health forum, but it's 9:40am and I've already eaten my lunch and my snack and now I'm devastated and I just wanted to share that :look:
 
InchHighPrivateEye said:
First paragraph: okay, I get it. I'm at his house twice a week max. I've been trying to do more overnights, but the next morning I'm like "byeee, boo!" lol I get what you're saying :yep:

The last paragraph got me feeling like Scrappy's mama. He needs to check huh. Make her answer :look: Keep my name out yo mouth, ex! :mad:

eta: I know this isn't the health forum, but it's 9:40am and I've already eaten my lunch and my snack and now I'm devastated and I just wanted to share that :look:
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He works 4 days and off 2 so on those days I stay home.

Yes he does! LOLOLOL but it's not his style to do that so what he did is probably the most I could ask for :ohwell:
 
Fine 4s said:
@Vanthie
I don't keep stuff at his house like that, so his mess.
His response to her comment was 'Fine 4s doesn't live here."

I'm sure I contribute to it. I move stuff around, I use blankets and towels, I leave water bottles around after drinking all the water and will eat food and not wash dishes quite a bit. I understand what WMLB says but really, if I had someone consistently come over my house and not contribute to clean up, I would have an issue with it.

He never really made a serious comment about it but that's his style, he's very blaze about things so I don't expect him to keep repeating himself.
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This was what I was thinking. I class that part as your mess using his things. I thought he was nudging you to clean the mess he leaves, to which I would say no way in hell lol.

I think cleaning the stuff that you've used away, or helping cleaning a combined mess is polite. This is what I do with my SO. The things I use of his I try to put back, or in the designated place/load the washer. I don't like that the ex opened her mouth. However, even if people that come around dont say it they may be thinking it.

SO is OK with housework, but he really struggles with putting away his laundry LOL. I will sit there and watch it all week lol. I will help him do a task for his benefit occasionally if he asks me, but never automatically. Stuff that I contribute a lot to I will do. Like I fill the waste baskets very quickly so I take those out usually.
 
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InchHighPrivateEye, welcome to the story of my life. I am notorious for eating all of my food before noon. Than when 3:00 rolls around I want to die from starvation! LOL! I am so dramatic. ;)

Me and the dude almost played hooky today. He is in the Hamptons though, and would not get back to me in time for it to matter. I really would have liked to go to the beach.

I am a bit sensitive over my blemishes and I actually had my hair half up, half down and he ranted about how much he liked my hair like that. And that he wishes I did that more often.

On a totally different topic, I wanted to tell you ladies that my veins are sexy. I had an MRI today, and they had a bit of a time getting the needle in properly. That is because tmy veins are teeny. LOL! Everyone there got a kick over my "sexy veins." *Tosses hair* LOL!
 
Vanthie,

I do laundry for FREE at his house so ill throw his in as well. I say on his couch with him as we listened to an audiobook on YT folding clothes. That was over a week ago. They are still on the couch. We just lay on top if them lmao!!!!
I don't do it at my house so....

OK sexy veins Lucie

My veins are gross. Green and very visible on these light bright thighs :(
 
Fine 4s said:
Vanthie,

I do laundry for FREE at his house so ill throw his in as well. I say on his couch with him as we listened to an audiobook on YT folding clothes. That was over a week ago. They are still on the couch. We just lay on top if them lmao!!!!
I don't do it at my house so....

OK sexy veins Lucie

My veins are gross. Green and very visible on these light bright thighs :(
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Mine are visible but dainty and sexy. Don't hate me because they are sexy. :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:

LOL @ you laying on top of the laundry!!!!
 
CLEAN laundry...get it right *rolling my neck*

Yes, I'm jealous of your sexy veins. Damn you VEIIIIINS!
 
Wow I feel like a big girl:grin:

For my side of the therapy I'm supposed to work on being more honest/confident instead of going quiet/cutting people off if upset. Managed to tell SO I wanted to talk and ask him a question about something I was insecure about. Got it out clearly, got a lovely reply from SO that reassured me. Job done. So this is how adults talk about their feelings? :look: Normal is simple. I love simple.

Also had to do another task to agree on an ideal timeline for marriage which suits both of us. Decided 6-12 months for engagement (to see if therapy is successful), if so then 6 months for wedding. Feels good to have more shape to the plan. Too old for vagueness.

Looking forward to the weekend. Sun and good times :)
 
Outside of texts and a few short calls, I haven't had a real conversation with this dude for a week. He's been super busy this week and part of me wants to be understanding of that and realizes that I need some time to adjust to not speaking with him daily. But the other part (who's currently winning the debate) is like "if he's 50-11 km away from you and we're only really speaking once a week, what's the point?"

This long distance sh!t blows...

ETA: All is well...he came to visit. Came bearing wine and some good food cause he knows my arse would rather starve than cook on a Friday night. On Sat we went to my farm and he helped me do some harvesting (got some fresh kale and tomatoes :lick:) and sprucing up. He kept calling me by my tribal name, which always trips me out cause he pronounces it so well, I'll respond to him in my language :lol: We also discussed b-school, with him advising me about diff schools and encouraging me to get off my arse and to start working on it. I've been feeling super motivated after having that talk. I have to say I really love having this man in my life :yep:
 
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Had a medical procedure done today an he's in such pain. I feel helpless but doing the best that I can to help manage the pain.

Always get pain meds before leaving the doc's office!!!!!

Night nurse signing on....
 
Just got back from hanging with his friends. Going to drop his motorcycle off at the shop. I'll be driving his car. Uh oh lol. Then going to buy me a bathing suit and going for a swim in his pool. It's sooooo hot today! Then a nap lol. Then dinner with his parents. Then the movies yayyyyy! :D
 
Looking at pics of our trip to Haiti and he says to his friend "see her hair when it's down?"
Awwww....he loves my twist outs! <3
 
qchelle said:
Just got back from hanging with his friends. Going to drop his motorcycle off at the shop. I'll be driving his car. Uh oh lol. Then going to buy me a bathing suit and going for a swim in his pool. It's sooooo hot today! Then a nap lol. Then dinner with his parents. Then the movies yayyyyy! :D
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Oh your day sounds fun filled!
Enjoy.
 
Twin keeps sending me videos related to having a strong relationship and then he just sent me one on a African destination wedding. I don't why I feel like he is going to pop the question within a year. I don't wanna jinx it but I have been having the urge of settling down for the long haul.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
SO and I spent our first weekend away together. It was awesome! He came to the coast with me and cheered while I was running my marathon and met a ton of my friends. Couldn't have been a better spectator!!

The next day we drove up the coast before coming home. We spent the evening relaxing on the couch and went to his parents house to visit their puppies. Couldn't have been a better day. We definitely became closer this weekend and I can't imagine being with anyone else!

Sent from my iPad mini mini.
 
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