2012 Relationship Random Thoughts.... Part III

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Fine 4s said:
So maybe I'm being too insecure BUT...

I told him that I found it strange that he's going out of his way to bring a souvenir (a drink) for a female friend of his whom I haven't met yet. It's not like him to go out of his way for folks unless they're close and I barely hear him mention her name but yet he's going to drive downtown say about 15-20 mns to bring her a gift??? Yes, he's also taking the opportunity to ride his bike but then he should have asked me to come along and I could have met her. Apparently she had asked him to bring her back something from our trip.

He's upset that I feel that way but hey....let her come pick it up when she can but YOU riding somewhere to meet with her just to brink her a gift...is just off to me!!!!!!!!!!!
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I feel you.
 
At this point in time, I don't want to get married. Ever. To anyone. FH asks then what's the point of being engaged? I go, then let's not be engaged. *blank stare*

I'm just keeping it "100".

P.s I'd keep the dog.
 
I actually didn't have an issue with him bringing back stuff for folks. Should I have?
It's that whole bringing it to her that got me feeling uneasy. I'm glad you all feel me though because I can get a little jealous sometimes...

hopeful & deltadreamland
 
ivyness said:
At this point in time, I don't want to get married. Ever. To anyone. FH asks then what's the point of being engaged? I go, then let's not be engaged. *blank stare*

I'm just keeping it "100".

P.s I'd keep the dog.
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Did u just get un-engaged?
 
ivyness said:
At this point in time, I don't want to get married. Ever. To anyone. FH asks then what's the point of being engaged? I go, then let's not be engaged. *blank stare*

I'm just keeping it "100".

P.s I'd keep the dog.
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I don't know the background but dang that sounds cold.
 
Fine 4s said:
I actually didn't have an issue with him bringing back stuff for folks. Should I have?
It's that whole bringing it to her that got me feeling uneasy. I'm glad you all feel me though because I can get a little jealous sometimes...

hopeful & deltadreamland
Click to expand...

Oh I see. I wouldn't mind dh getting souvenirs for folks in general (for close relatives, a best friend, etc.) but I would find it odd if he was buying souvenirs for random female friends that I don't even know, just sounds strange to me, but if you don't mind that then I don't get being upset about him taking it to her. You want her to come to his house to get it? IMO I think it's all odd and it's all connected to me, and that would annoy me. Something off about the boundaries.
 
TayMac said:
I don't know the background but dang that sounds cold.
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I don't think so. I'm not getting married just to please someone including him. I know it sounds strange because I want to be with him, just not necessarily as a married couple. If that is not enough for him, then we need to reevaluate the relationship and I was just putting it out there.
 
My SO dropped the ball big time for my birthday yesterday. I was really disappointed in his actions but am in a hard place. It was clear he was mentally distracted by some of the issues he is working through. I want to let him know how I really feel but I feel a little selfish since I know he is doing every thing in his power to take care his obligations that were in the works before we became a couple.
 
ivyness said:
I don't think so. I'm not getting married just to please someone including him. I know it sounds strange because I want to be with him, just not necessarily as a married couple. If that is not enough for him, then we need to reevaluate the relationship and I was just putting it out there.
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I meant the way you said sounded cold not the fact that you don't want to be married.
 
hopeful said:
Oh I see. I wouldn't mind dh getting souvenirs for folks in general (for close relatives, a best friend, etc.) but I would find it odd if he was buying souvenirs for random female friends that I don't even know, just sounds strange to me, but if you don't mind that then I don't get being upset about him taking it to her. You want her to come to his house to get it? IMO I think it's all odd and it's all connected to me, and that would annoy me. Something off about the boundaries.
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I see it differently. Just because I don't know her doesn't mean she's random, I just haven't met her yet as he hasn't met all my male friends.

I feel better this am and suspect I showed a little too much senseless insecurity :perplexed <<< turn off! He sent me a sweet long message last night though to which I didn't respond Bwa Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaa...
 
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Fine 4s

I was always under the impression that you didn't have male friends but your SO did lol. In that case I see no problem. You both have opposite sex friends that you both haven't met yet.

Until you meet these people then the friendship is going to carry on as normal. If you have something for a friend you might bring it to them. The issue of meeting these friends I see as separate from the souvenir. Why do you suddenly need to meet her because he's bringing her something in a friendly way. Did you not want to meet her before?

I don't get why the having of a friend you don't know and him buying her something doesn't bother you, but him dropping it off to her is a problem? I have a male friend who lives 15 mins away and if I needed to bring him something I would lol. Whether that makes the friend lazy is another question!
 
Vanthie said:
@Fine 4s

I was always under the impression that you didn't have male friends but your SO did lol. In that case I see no problem. You both have opposite sex friends that you both haven't met yet.

That's why sharing stories on LHCF is never the complete picture.
I have enough male friends :look:.

Until you meet these people then the friendship is going to carry on as normal. If you have something for a friend you might bring it to them. The issue of meeting these friends I see as separate from the souvenir. Why do you suddenly need to meet her because he's bringing her something in a friendly way. Did you not want to meet her before?

ITA which is why I disagreed with the posters above and why I thought I acted a bit insecure overall. My issue is that he doesn't normally go out of his way for folks and to me it was sorta out of his way (ie leaving his house to do something) It made me say hmmm....Actually he was at my house with the gift which is how we started talking about it. Vanthie, if it's up to me, I want to know ALL the female friends and their social security numbers :lachen:

I don't get why the having of a friend you don't know and him buying her something doesn't bother you, but him dropping it off to her is a problem? I have a male friend who lives 15 mins away and if I needed to bring him something I would lol. Whether that makes the friend lazy is another question!
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I have no idea why it doesn't. Maybe meeting up with a woman that I do not know yet makes me nervous. What's their relationship, what's their history? And why haven't I met her? Reasons that I need to keep in check really. Well, it's my pre-..... week so who knows.

I'm working through it though :perplexed

Thanks Vanthie, now can you slap me please, this is embarrassing now...guess who's going to delete her posts? MEEEEeeeeeeeee!!!!
 
He comes back in 5 days! I'm going to try to be at his place when he gets there. I'm thinking I'll make an All-American dinner, since he hasn't had American food in 6 weeks. Burgers, apple pie...IDK what else.
 
VeryBecoming said:
He comes back in 5 days! I'm going to try to be at his place when he gets there. I'm thinking I'll make an All-American dinner, since he hasn't had American food in 6 weeks. Burgers, apple pie...IDK what else.
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Menu:

Shrim wrapped in Bacon

Corn bread

Spinach salad

Burgers made with sirloin ground beef

mac and cheese

sweet potatoes (that's two starches though)

Apple pie or pecan pie with ice cream

I'm hungry...
 
"Oh, you look cute in your little nightscarf." Aw.

This isn't how I usually tie it though. :look: Normally my Miss Celie game is proper. :look: Be advised. :look:

Phasing it in incrementally on your a*s. :look:
:look: :look: :look:
 
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Fine 4s
It's okay, we all have our moments. Different things rattle us. I can't count how many times I've been ticked off about something and then later I'm like who cares?:lol: I also think your situation is different from mine because dh and I were so much younger when we met and didn't have time to develop so many close opposite sex friendships. Your situation is a little more complicated and over time I'm sure you guys will figure out what works best for your relationship.
 
Fine 4s

I get what you mean. It kind of feels awkward.

Maybe you could have a lil party and invite these friends along with everyone else so its a little more natural :lol:

Do you not tell each other the history, how you met them?
 
Vanthie said:
@Fine 4s

I get what you mean. It kind of feels awkward.

Maybe you could have a lil party and invite these friends along with everyone else so its a little more natural :lol:

Do you not tell each other the history, how you met them?
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I guess...I'd be an interviewing maniac.
Me: So...how do you know the host birch?! :lachen::lachen::lachen:

We do when the moment comes up. I WILL be inquiring.
It's things like these that make me not like relationships.
I hate being exposed and showing how untrusting, cynical and insecure I can be...I envy women that don't let the small stuff phase them.
Is there a pill for that?

Vanthie
 
Fine 4s

I think its silly to be totally trusting at the beginning. Like SO trusts that I'm not a cheating type, but he will still be checking out the vibe/body language between me and friends/exes. Sometimes you need a lil more information just to feel comfortable. It's not always that your partner is sweet on their friend but it can be the other way round.

As long as its not consuming you with jealousy it's normal to suss out the situation and get a little more info.
 
Fine 4s said:
Menu:

Shrim wrapped in Bacon

Corn bread

Spinach salad

Burgers made with sirloin ground beef

mac and cheese

sweet potatoes (that's two starches though)u

Apple pie or pecan pie with ice cream

I'm hungry...
Click to expand...

Good ideas! Maybe a meatloaf instead of burgers to go with the rest of the stuff. Or just burgers and sweet potato fries.
 
VeryBecoming said:
Good ideas! Maybe a meatloaf instead of burgers to go with the rest of the stuff. Or just burgers and sweet potato fries.
Click to expand...

Yeah I agree. I thought you didn't need a flow just random dishes. You can do random small dishes and present it like a 'taste' or a complete meal. I'd prefer a meatloaf.
 
Ooo yeah I could do American "tapas." Small classic American dishes. That'd be cute.

LOL...I hope I still feel as motivated once the weekend rolls around.
 
Do u know how many times I've promised SO a yummy dish and then when the time comes I'm like einh....I wanna sleep. Lol
 
That's basically me....with everything :look: I really should follow through more...or at least stop saying I'll do stuff :lol:

I promise to actually do this!
 
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