2012 Relationship Random Thoughts.... Part III

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I have no idea how I'm gonna get through this. I was thinking about going to have brunch, but I don't even wanna get out the bed. And I'm dreading going to work tomorrow, have been since I woke up, SMDH. Won't even be able to chat with him to make the day go by a little quicker.

This can't be life. :(
 
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MzLady78 said:
I have no idea how I'm gonna get through this. I was thinking about going to have brunch, but I don't even wanna get out the bed. And I'm dreading going to work tomorrow, have been since I woke up, SMDH. Won't even be able to chat with him to make the day go by a little quicker.

This can't be life. :(
Click to expand...

You can through it but thinking its impossible is not going to work. If I could go back I would have cut the last guy off cold turkey earlier on. When I held on to something that clearly was not going to work, it took attention off of me. It also did not leave room for a more available men to come along.

One thing that I learned is that men come and go. I don't mean it as if they are objects. But I will not give any of them my full attention until one proves that he wants to be with me for keeps. My life will not alter one bit and he will be an addition, not my world.

I know how it is to see someone everyday to not speaking to them at all...we all do. But when you finally get to the latter, not only is it liberating but you can see why that ish never was meant to work in the first place.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
Yep. Got myself into some real ish this time. However, my best friend (my momma) was just the person to set me straight. Always has and always will.
 
i'm thinking long and hard about the text i'm about to send him....

i reeeeeally like this guy but he's not forward. he says he wants to hang out this week but i think he's just too busy. we haven't made a plan. so i'm basically being really honest and saying that our schedules don't mesh and i'm used to being pursued, so instead i'd rather just be friends and no pressure.

if i do this, i'm closing him off entirely as anything romantic.

if i don't do this, i will secretly wait and wait and wait for him to text me back.

i'm 30 and i lack patience. i can't.
 
LivingDol1

I would not do anything or wait for him either.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
I just finished watching a cute black indie film. Just further confirmation that when it comes to love don't force it. If its not meant to be its ok and sometimes you have to love someone from a distance. It does not mean you are meant to be with that person. It was a cute film but I don't know the name of it!

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
tinkat said:
I would not do anything or wait for him either.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
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mildly irritated because just as i had redrafted my text (yes, i said it. redrafted. i leave no stone unturned!), and stepped away to do something with my hair, he "likes" my new profile photo! ugh!

i like him. i like him. i really do. so this annoys me.
 
tinkat said:
I just finished watching a cute black indie film. Just further confirmation that when it comes to love don't force it. If its not meant to be its ok and sometimes you have to love someone from a distance. It does not mean you are meant to be with that person. It was a cute film but I don't know the name of it!

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

who was in it? what channel was it on? now i wanna know!
 
LivingDol1 said:
who was in it? what channel was it on? now i wanna know!
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It had Zoe saldana, hill harper, some other actors but I forgot their names. It was on wsfa2 which is on charter. This channel show black shows and movies. I dot know the name bc the description and name was not available (darn charter).

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
LivingDol1 said:
tinkat

Premium is the title... thanks to a google search. :)
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Thanks so much...I should have done that since I google everything :lol:

But it's a cute movie to me for an indie...and it did not have the typical happily ever after but a realistic content ending.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
tinkat said:
LivingDol1

I would not do anything or wait for him either.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Click to expand...

Right. I wouldn't send a long, emotional text, that's just doing too much IMO. I'd fall back and let him do the work and pursuing or not. And I would not overlike someone who isn't available and pursuing. Trust me, he is not that shy or clueless. He is just doing him. And if and when the time and right person presents itself he will find the time and pursue. Or he will wait for a very aggressive, needy girl and let her chase and lock him down. I would be so whatever and just see what happens and be very open to other suitors.
 
I love the movie "Think Like A MAn" I laughed so much!!!
My date was cool but im not feeling him like that. Dont get me wrong the bro is sexii lol
He would be a cool friend if anything.
 
I'm confused. And nervous. We are so different. I wonder if this will be a problem later. Since we are just dating and it's not serious yet, I figure it's ok to go along with things. I don't think I'm wasting time. Le sigh. Theo, your post spoke to me dear.

I know this is very forward thinking since its the early stages but I think it's important to think about what is possible.

I don't know why I feel like I must, 100% be with someone who is haitian or someone from a cultural background very similar to mine. I feel like it will be easier and that my future family will be better off. I think. Why am I open to limiting myself like this??? I had no idea I had these sort of reservations.
 
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hopeful said:
Right. I wouldn't send a long, emotional text, that's just doing too much IMO. I'd fall back and let him do the work and pursuing or not. And I would not overlike someone who isn't available and pursuing. Trust me, he is not that shy or clueless. He is just doing him. And if and when the time and right person presents itself he will find the time and pursue. Or he will wait for a very aggressive, needy girl and let her chase and lock him down. I would be so whatever and just see what happens and be very open to other suitors.
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i didn't send the text. glad i didn't.

we are getting together tuesday night.

i also just got back from the MOST boring coffee "date" in life. i cut it off after 40 minutes and hauled outta there.

and i have drinks after work planned tomorrow.

options are open!
 
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Time to dish out on my date: it was on thursday, one week after we met on the bus. We tried to get together sooner but that didn't work out. What I like about him is that our conversations are like a game of ping pong and we have really interesting convos. He doesn't drink alcohol (just like me) and is so well travelled (which I appreciate so much). I took him to a bar in town where we had alcohol free mojitos (delicious!) and something small to eat. We never ran out of something to talk about and it went so smoothly. He's educated, fun and seems like a genuine guy but I've been through my fair share of bs that I just don't wanna jump the gun too quick, my sister is more excited for me than I am for myself. The last time I dated was in 2009 and the guy turned out to be a kang:nono: I'll keep y'all updated on everything :).

Ps: another thing I liked is that when it came time for us to pay up at the bar, there was no awkward moment. He just got up, paid and we took off. I know some of y'all will be like: that's how it's supposed to be, duh! But I just really appreciated the gesture and it certainly wasn't like that with my ex.
 
Don't know if this is a sign or what or maybe I am putting too much thought into this but all I know is that speaking to him after damn near nine years have made all kinds of emotions surface.

Wondering if people do change.
 
Last night I went out with the girls, got chocolate wasted (:look:) and texted a bunch of stuff to my 2 potentials (Co-Worker & Ex). Ex ended up surprising me at the club! :yay:

Unfortunately we ended up getting in a little fight near the end of the night. I was waiting for him to bring the car around because my footsies couldn't take the walk to where it was parked. :nono: While I was waiting a guy came over to chat me up and I did intend to blow him off nicely but it turned out that we were both from St. Lucia. We started talking about Lucian stuff and anywho I didn't give him my number but I did let him have my BBM pin (which is more non-committal imo). Meanwhile, I was expecting a text from Ex to say he was there but his phone was dead- turned out he'd been sitting out in the car the whole time waiting for me and saw the entire exchange with the Lucian. Oops. :perplexed

What made it worse was he'd seen the same guy eyeing me in the club and now that dude saw me alone he pounced and Ex was mad that I entertained him.

Well whatever, it didn't stop him from bringing me home, helping me get changed for bed etc. and tucking me in. :look:

And nope, I'm still celibate! :yep:
 
SO has apparently sent me a present that should arrive in the morning. Got no idea what this could be:confused:. Hopefully something interesting :)
 
ugh. it seems like the minute i'm no longer with him all of life's pressures just start stressing me completely out

wtf :sad:
 
meesch said:
ugh. it seems like the minute i'm no longer with him all of life's pressures just start stressing me completely out

wtf :sad:
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Why do you think that is? That doesn't sound healthy.
 
CarLiTa said:
Why do you think that is? That doesn't sound healthy.
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i have no idea, and i think it only started recently. last week i had horrible anxiety all week. i went straight to his place friday afternoon and just got back today, and i didnt feel stressed about anything. now, it's all pouring back in, heavily and steadily, and the anxiety is starting up again.

i think part of it is because a.) when im with him, he takes care of everything. going places, doing things, getting things, eating things, whatever happens in the day - he has a way to make it easier (paying, driving, choosing, etc). so i dont have to worry about anything getting done or missing anything. (this is of course to say that when i am back in my life on my own, i do everything myself and it's way harder because i dont have all the things i need to make anything easier. its automatically a hassle.)

the other part of it b.) is all the things i have planned in the very near future that i am worried about pulling off to my high standards. there isnt enough time and yet im still pressuring myself to get things done. its like i decide something has to be done and i cant just ignore it after that. i have to try, and if theres the chance that i wont be able to do it, i dont think "well lets just not do it then." i think "i have to do it anyway" and i start panicking.

now its like when im back to just me i dont know how to get anything done. im not naturally the type to rely on others for things that are important to me - id rather keep it in my power entirely so that i know they will get done. its like i dont know how to do share my responsibilities; as if him helping with some things means ive forgotten how to do the rest on my own. im a pretty all or nothing person and i've ALWAYS had a problem with balance. this seems like a manifestation of that - i am panicking about things that i have ("have") to do.

it's just like... when it's only me, i have all the time in the world to focus on my goals. i'm extremely goal driven - it's just what i do. and i feel like for the next few months im not going to be able to complete the things i need done. he takes time out of my planning - spending whole weekends with him and wanting to progress our relationship etc... when, if i were single, i could look like crap all the time if i wanted to, it wouldn't be so imperative to have and accomplish this aesthetic/material bullsiht, and i generally wouldnt want to advance so far so quickly in creating that perfect picture. i could live extremely frugally and retreat inside my head in tunnel vision mode and not get distracted by needing to come out of my head at all. thats how i get things done. i block everything out and dont devote any time to external whatever and focus all my thoughts on jumping goal after goal. its the only thing that matters.

the irony of course is that he doesn't give a siht about all this superficial nonsense, and would never encourage me to focus on these things, particularly given how stressful im finding it. just being in this relationship inherently pulls me out of that focus, and i'm trying to manage them both and it's not working.
 
Ugh at my ex on facebook. I can't even delete them cause then they will contact me. The games that are played. I'll trip you someday punk. :lol:
 
My ex added me on facebook. He's looking mighty scrumptious. I broke up with him for a reason I can't discuss on here, but I wonder if he grew a bit since then. :look:
 
I have come to the sad realization that I am completely inept at creating/maintaining deep meaningful relationships (romantic and platonic). Well, not completely inept because I am in a relatiosnhip right now... But it's a struggle, and my friendships are few and dwindling. I have tons of acquaintances, but few real connections. It's a very sobering thought...Knowing that I brought this on myself.
 
I think I may have to break up with my well best friend. This boyfriend of hers is really showing me her true colors. I am hesitant to talk to her about this because then I feel like I am making her choose, and I KNOW she is happy (or something) with him.

I am sick of feeling like I don't matter, or that I don't exist. You just don't "forget" about plans we had, or "forget" that I am in the room when he comes and have a private conversation when I am in the room. Also when you have a boyfriend does not automatically mean that he must.be.by.your.side.at.every.moment.

At first I thought that it was because I was being unreasonable and jealous that I was not hanging out with her as much. But that isn't it, she has had a serious boyfriend before but I never felt so hurt before.

It is not fair and not how a supposed best friend is supposed to be treated. The sad part is that this has happened before, my best friend meets a guy then slowly takes herself away. These "great" friends of mine seem to hurt me more than any man I have dated.
 
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