2012 Relationship Random Thoughts.... Part III

[stephluv]

Hmm...listening to these other long time dating and long time married couples at bible study really shed a bright light on our relationship. Some of these folks are together for ALL the wrong reasons and just need to part. A commitment is one thing but a relationship let alone a marriage should not be that hard.

I would be mortified if my husband of 7 years stated to a crowd of people that everyday is a struggle and many times he wants to just walk out but God brought them together and their kids need both parents.

This one guy just would not stop talking about how many times prayer keeps him from leaving. And the wife is just looking like "the hayle with that I wish you'd stop praying and just go."

FH and I just looked at each other because truly they are together for the wrong reasons. If I was that unhappy with my SO and the only reason I could come up with to stay was vows and kids...I'd be so gone.

Being happy is a choice and I refuse to be with someone just because I said I do or the condom broke. No mama.

Another couple said that you have to keep excitement in your marriage. I was following until she said they have some type of entertainment at least 4 times a week. Whether it's going out or inviting others over. I guess that would be over too if they had to just stay home and play chess or watch TV together. She made it sound like they were too boring to be together.

Thank the Lord FH and I are both introverts. We can sit for hours reading, listening to a book on tape, playing chess or coloring of course. To us this is exciting.

There are other stories I could tell but this was just a minor vent. At any rate no relationship is perfect, but I can see what we have is way ahead of what we've seen thus far.

ElizaBlue-- ^ITA with the above--- why be unhappy thinking it doesnt affect those around you...kids notice these things

@kbnax I always had a remedy for men that want to talk about sex prematurely and sexuality. I start talking about money, spending his and what he likes to buy his woman because of course for many men that is a equal turn off. Then I say wasn't that odd for me to randomly bring up your money? Did that offend you? LOL

firecracker- I need to use this one shoot- well if i go back in the dating scene Luckily i didnt go through this with this guy

 

[kbnax]

@kbnax I always had a remedy for men that want to talk about sex prematurely and sexuality. I start talking about money, spending his and what he likes to buy his woman because of course for many men that is a equal turn off. Then I say wasn't that odd for me to randomly bring up your money? Did that offend you? LOL

..yes I'm going to do this the next time...sad thing is I'm sure it will be a next time

 

[ElizaBlue]

I'm working on becoming "That Girl"...I'm using him(her?) as my inspiration

bosswitch Please don't. Looking at that picture made me want to attend church more...that is Revelation scary...

 

[ElizaBlue]

@kbnax I always had a remedy for men that want to talk about sex prematurely and sexuality. I start talking about money, spending his and what he likes to buy his woman because of course for many men that is a equal turn off. Then I say wasn't that odd for me to randomly bring up your money? Did that offend you? LOL

firecracker I am still laughing. Yes mama say it say it!

 

[ChasingBliss]

Why is it that men always are the first to, lemme just say, let it all hang out....For example, they are the first ones in the rlp to "break wind" and once they do, it's over. They are completely at ease doing it whenever they need to. I still wait for him to leave or I leave the room. *smh* Wishing I could get as comfortable...tmi...yes I know. But I cant be the only one who ponders this.

 

[MzLady78]

Still feeling a little hurt, but everyday the pain lessens thanks to this thread by @hopeful http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=348709 and the last post to me from @ElizaBlue. I don't know what the convo is going to be like when/if we talk after he comes back from vacation on Sunday, but he's going to find a very different woman than the one he left a week ago.

I'm heading to Foxwoods tomorrow night, I hope I manage to have a good time and maybe win some money. That would ease my pain a bit.

 

[Britt]

Why is it that men always are the first to, lemme just say, let it all hang out....For example, they are the first ones in the rlp to "break wind" and once they do, it's over. They are completely at ease doing it whenever they need to. I still wait for him to leave or I leave the room. *smh* Wishing I could get as comfortable...tmi...yes I know. But I cant be the only one who ponders this.

My SO is such a big ball of flatulence, it's annoying. Hell, even his DD is . He's been comfortable farting around me and it's dreadful. I've never been one to pass gas around my SO's, i'll do everything else but that around that. Anyway, one day we we're sleeping and I was between sleep and wake and I let one go on him, he was sooooooo mortified and disgusted . He was def caught off guard and was wondering 'wtf'... I just kissed my teeth and laughed. But yeah, I don't think I'll ever be one to just be letting out farts around my man.

 

[PeaceFlow]

..yes I'm going to do this the next time...sad thing is I'm sure it will be a next time

Sounds like you need to toughen up your screening process and spot it sooner before you even get to a dating stage with said guys.

I've never had a guy bring up sex on a date. Trying to imagine how that would go down lol.

 

[ChasingBliss]

My SO is such a big ball of flatulence, it's annoying. Hell, even his DD is . He's been comfortable farting around me and it's dreadful. I've never been one to pass gas around my SO's, i'll do everything else but that around that. Anyway, one day we we're sleeping and I was between sleep and wake and I let one go on him, he was sooooooo mortified and disgusted . He was def caught off guard and was wondering 'wtf'... I just kissed my teeth and laughed. But yeah, I don't think I'll ever be one to just be letting out farts around my man.

The nerve of him.
When I'm having a little stomach trouble, fh will be like "what, do you have to fart? Just let it out...dont be scurrd" But it just aint me.

I'm like you, I have never been one to do that in front of SOs. Also, I always close the door when I'm in the bathroom no matter what I'm doing. I've always been private like that.

 

[kbnax]

Sounds like you need to toughen up your screening process and spot it sooner before you even get to a dating stage with said guys.

I've never had a guy bring up sex on a date. Trying to imagine how that would go down lol.

The thing is I've been doing the online thing recently, so they are bringing up the sex stuff on the phone beforehand. It's when we are getting to know each other is when they hit me with "well what positions do you like" or as in the words of the last guy "can you tell me what makes your p*ssy wet". After that, they get blocked. It's good since I didn't waste too much time but yet this is seeming to be the norm.

 

[lushcoils]

@kbnax

What kinds of guys are you responding to online? Are they taking pictures with their phones? Do they have shirtless pictures? Car pictures? Multiple baby mamas? Poor spelling, punctuation, capitalization and grammar in their profiles? Do they have "simple-minded", negative, and/or dramatic profiles in terms of content? Sending you generic messages like "hey ma" or "you is sexy"? Are they gainfully employed? What's the typical education level of these guys? Are you using POF?

 

[Maracujá]

Still feeling a little hurt, but everyday the pain lessens thanks to this thread by @hopeful http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=348709

Thanks for reposting, missed it the first time around!

 

[kbnax]

lushcoils

lmao! Yes I'm on POF. On and off for a couple of years, and it seems like I'm about to be off of it once again. The guys who are able to get my number are actually seemingly good guys. I do not do thugs or ones who appear thuggish. I usually go for the nerdier and more laid back guys actually. What I'm finding out though, is that some are fronting as nice until I give them my number, then it all goes downhill. What I've been told is that I'm very easy to talk to, so they are more comfortable to say what they want.

 

[MzLady78]

Thanks for reposting, missed it the first time around!

I printed it out and have been carrying it with me and reading it everyday.

 

[PeaceFlow]

The thing is I've been doing the online thing recently, so they are bringing up the sex stuff on the phone beforehand. It's when we are getting to know each other is when they hit me with "well what positions do you like" or as in the words of the last guy "can you tell me what makes your p*ssy wet". After that, they get blocked. It's good since I didn't waste too much time but yet this is seeming to be the norm.

I repeat lol. You need to up the screening process! Theres guys on these sites that approach all women the same because they want sex. Nothing to do with you, or the state of men etc... Theres just a lot of men who are looking for that on that site. Block and move on as soon as something seems off.

POF is looked at as a hook ups dominated website which makes it worse. You may fare out better on others. I find the quality ratio exceptionally low on there and never met, gave my number out.

OK cupid on the other hand. I met some amazing, respectful, successful types on there.

 

[Fine 4s]

Shoutouts to all the women who run their households cuz these fools can't manage NUFFIN!

 

[Smiley79]

Has anyone ever found love while you had a cold heart? When I say cold heart, I mean you were at a point where your heart and emotions were practically numb. As a result of past relationships, experiences, prolonged time being single, failures, disappointments, whatever your issue may have been. Were you ever at a point that you thought you were not capable of “love” and then surprisingly you met someone who brought warmth back into your life. Is this possible or am I thinking fairy tale?

Like Omarion’s song, lately my heart has been sort of like an icebox; I have no sense of excitement or optimism when it comes to me and the prospect of relationships. The feeling has been creeping on me gradually. Years of failed relationships followed by these current years of meeting no one and being bitten by the single bug has me feeling numb. For example, today my coworkers flocked to my desk to tell me some tall gorgeous man was on our floor walking around and they were having normal girl talk and chatter about it. Why did I sit there like dead weight feeling nothing? Zip. Zero. It’s like I’m in shut down mode emotionally. I don’t like that feeling because I would never be attracted to someone who has that dead weight hum-glum demeanor about themselves….so I assume that this could be the message that my body language or facial expressions could be sending as a result of how I feel inside. This is crazy; I never thought the single blues would bite this hard. I have to snap out of this really fast. I'm just afraid that if I continue feeling this way, I just might sabotage my possiblities of getting out there and dating again.

 

[A856]

Why is it that men always are the first to, lemme just say, let it all hang out....For example, they are the first ones in the rlp to "break wind" and once they do, it's over. They are completely at ease doing it whenever they need to. I still wait for him to leave or I leave the room. *smh* Wishing I could get as comfortable...tmi...yes I know. But I cant be the only one who ponders this.

Nope you are not alone....

My SO is such a big ball of flatulence, it's annoying. Hell, even his DD is . He's been comfortable farting around me and it's dreadful. I've never been one to pass gas around my SO's, i'll do everything else but that around that. Anyway, one day we we're sleeping and I was between sleep and wake and I let one go on him, he was sooooooo mortified and disgusted . He was def caught off guard and was wondering 'wtf'... I just kissed my teeth and laughed. But yeah, I don't think I'll ever be one to just be letting out farts around my man.

An ex-bf told me that I passed gas in my sleep all the time...I refuse to believe that to this day.
Not me

The nerve of him.
When I'm having a little stomach trouble, fh will be like "what, do you have to fart? Just let it out...dont be scurrd" But it just aint me.

I'm like you, I have never been one to do that in front of SOs. Also, I always close the door when I'm in the bathroom no matter what I'm doing. I've always been private like that.

My SO has come and sat on the edge of the tub and has tried to hold a conversation.
I was like "babe really??!?"
he said "I love you so much I'll sit and smell your $hyt with no problem" Kissed me and everything....I was like UGH GET OUT!

 

[CarLiTa]

I can't wait till next week. This has nothing to do about a man... but I feel like my life is in disarray right now. You can always tell by what my bedroom looks like... and right now it's...
Yes, can't wait till next week. Will start doing yoga then. Can't.wait.

 

[firecracker]

Smiley79 yes it could happen. Forgiving and trying to forget really helps in freeing oneself from past hurts so you can open up for a new love.

Allandra don't let nobody steal your joy. Shout it to roof top whenever you are ready. You are so right misery loves company and so does mean spirited. Forget them! I'm happy you for you!

Everyone deserves happiness and someone to share it with!

This will be my guys first Mother's Day without his Mom. He lost three key people in his life last year. I am really proud to see him take the time out of his busy schedule to attend his deceased friend daughter baseball games, school events etc. He takes her out on daddy/daughter play dates with his daughter because all four of them used to do it for years. They both had joint custody of their girls. She is about to graduate from high school and go off to college.
I got myself a real caring and loving gentleman. I kept him as a friend because they don't make em like that often. Well actually he is a sucka for my love and accepts all my flaws. I'm happy as hell!!! I'm wild as hell and he is super calm. Gotta love it. Ok enough gushy stuff.

Hope he doesn't piss me off because I so want to put Nair on his bushy eyebrows while he sleeps!! LOL It took me a while to get over his nose shape. Errah its just like Bethanny's husband Jason big honker. I told him so too.

 

[PopLife]

He asked me what my ring size was and the type of rings I like.
I knew 2012 would be a good year for me in the relationship department!

 

[kbnax]

I repeat lol. You need to up the screening process! Theres guys on these sites that approach all women the same because they want sex. Nothing to do with you, or the state of men etc... Theres just a lot of men who are looking for that on that site. Block and move on as soon as something seems off.

POF is looked at as a hook ups dominated website which makes it worse. You may fare out better on others. I find the quality ratio exceptionally low on there and never met, gave my number out.

OK cupid on the other hand. I met some amazing, respectful, successful types on there.

Lol. You're so right and yes POF is seeming like a meat market lately. I will check out OK cupid this weekend. Thanks.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I need to stay consistent. Either I can accept you as a friend or I can't. I don't like this feeling. I think the next time I see you I will let you know that we can't do anything remotely affectionate because I can't do mixed signals. I'm not a toy that can be shelved when you are too busy or what not. I also need to not read too much into things if it's meant for me to be with someone and share then it will be I just need to be the best me for that time.

 

[SuchaLady]

You know what's funny.... I love this forum especially the Relationships RT but I never have anything to contribute

 

[firecracker]

Nope won't be regretting nothing..........................................

 

[Browndilocks]

SO is still beaming about the fight party we threw this past Saturday. at him still talking about it. It was the first get together we've thrown as a couple. Great turn out, great food, great times with friends and my babe is still happy.

 

[CarLiTa]

So, I couldn't meet up today after all... I procrastinated (I'm just so tired!) and still have a lot to do... Most of which I am just starting now. I can tell he's disappointed... But I have to get things together before I go. My BFF is getting married this wknd! It's been stressful bc it has blown several holes through my wallet and I don't think I've fully processed what this means, either Right now I'm thinking abt the short term. I'm pooped and can't wait till after the wedding to come home, sleep soundly, clean my room, pick up some projects, get a gym membership, and start my yoga practice.

 

[tinkat]

I can't wait till next week. This has nothing to do about a man... but I feel like my life is in disarray right now. You can always tell by what my bedroom looks like... and right now it's...
Yes, can't wait till next week. Will start doing yoga then. Can't.wait.

I feel you. My room has looked a mess for the past couple of weeks.

Wait, be positive, keep believing, and all will surely be yours. Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[CarLiTa]

Roommate is terribly sad... Her recent ex, whom she recently asked not to contact her, texted earlier to say he's leaving the country... Maybe tonight, or tomorrow.
She tried calling and he won't pick up I'm SO annoyed with him! He has often threatened to leave the country and go live here, there, wherever, with little thought about how those announcements make his friends and the people who love him. One of my close friends is so disappointed in him... Waiting to announce that he's leaving the day of... and sometimes making no announcement at all
She's super sad and wants to see him before he goes... I can understand that. I think I'd feel some kind of way, too, if I were in her shoes. That's so not thoughtful of him

 

[LivingDol1]

I broke the rules again. I sent him a lengthy text calling him out for his BS and telling him I knew he had other options and was looking for fun but I wasn't the girl to be doing that with, if that's his current desire. I told him I was disappointed because I had no expectation going into this, then was pleasantly surprised. I could have been content with him as a friend. And then I called him an a--h---.

He promptly replied. Apologized for everything and admitted that he was being a jerk and that I didn't deserve to be treated like that. He wants to meet with me so we can talk in person and he wants to apologize in person.

In rule books, I shouldn't have texted but I am glad that I did what felt right in my gut and I'm never going to ignore my gut again.