2012 Relationship Random Thoughts.... Part III

[Maracujá]

I read an article on madamenoire.com that has me feeling somekind of way. It's a woman writing a letter to her future DH, in it she states that she will wait for him and will not date in the meantime so as to not have mental baggage. My question is: how are you supposed to meet someone if you're not even dating? Maybe I'm the one doing things wrong because all three of my sisters have been/are in serious committed relationships, meanwhile I've never been in one and I date for the most part. :/

 

[firecracker]

I just got home. We both had doctors appointments so we met up for early happy hour and supper at a noodle house after. We had a great day. He had to set some boundries w/old friends plus his secretary. When we got to his place we danced to Zydeco and played a hand of speed then discussed the latest sports news. Didn't even realize we feel asleep in each others arms. LOL I think we were both pooped and tipsy.

 

[Rae81]

since when did going out on two dates equal a relationship. Im tired of my friends (1 guy & 1 girl) telling me to stop saying this guy is my friend and say what it really is. i let them know we went on 2 dates and we are NOT in a relationship so i will not refer to him as my boyfriend. Am i missing something have i been out of the dating game that long that now i cant say we just friends because we dating

 

[RarityFluttershy]

These last couple of days I have learned.

Your children can be very telling.
Everyone isn't meant to be a parent.
Make/have a clear intention of what it is you truly want.
Your past relationships are not here to haunt you.
Respect love with its comings and goings.
Some folks just don't/won't get it and don't/won't change.

 

[Oasis]

cheap dinner, playful nighttime stroll through the quiet neighborhood, sex on the counter... then the floor

yep....

i need this in my life. *somberly hums "Roc Me Out"*

 

[firecracker]

Rae81 I doubt if the dating game has changed that drastically. That a friend and a couple of dates equate to a boyfriend or a relationship.

Tell your friends he ain't your boyfriend/man until he ask you to be exclusive. You cannot go around claiming folks and they are not aware or in on the deal. Your friends are trippin. That is how chicks feelings get hurt.

 

[Theo]

Finals are really putting a cramp in my dating life. And I think I might have a thing for Yoruba guys lol.

 

[Mortons]

If I can't write you through the modes of social media that we have, then I'm deleting you

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Is he black?

LOL. He is. In his circle of work friends, there's what we call a "black coalition" that stays among themselves and he always jokes that he's "that one" that goes back and forth because he's in the black coalition but he's cool with the white people too. And this particular "white friend" as I call him( ) doesn't know boundaries. *suggesting a plantation, with his goofy arse*

I don't particularly like this friend because when we first started dating SO sent me flowers at work but the friend was like "no. That's too much. She'll think you're doing too much" Um. Have a seat sweetie--it's never too much. So in my mind--even though he's one of those "liberals" that rants against racism and stuff--I think he doesn't think black women deserve nice things. I know I'm probably going too deep with it , but ever since SO told me that the guy told him not to send the flowers I don't like him. And then the plantation comment.

 

[deltadreamland]

We have a busy weekend and I'm looking forward to every moment of it with him.

For Friday night, we're just hanging out at his house; just the two of us. The little boy, my little love-bug, hung out with us just about every weekend in March and April. So we didn't really have any "us" time since I was always in mommy mode and he was always in "supporting mommy mode". But now that the little love-bug is back on track for every other weekend visits with his dad, we can relax a little.

My best friend is getting married Saturday and he's accompanying me to the wedding. He took me shopping for a dress and shoes yesterday and assisted me in picking out a really cute red and black dress. Whatever he decides to wear, it will accent my dress. He says he will surprise me. He is an extremely fashion conscious man, so I'm sure he will look very very handsome.

Sunday morning we are going to Florida to see Anthony Hamilton
in concert. This will be a double date with my sister and her husband.

And he gave me another dozen red roses Monday when I went over to visit him. I love him.

 

[Rae81]

Rae81 I doubt if the dating game has changed that drastically. That a friend and a couple of dates equate to a boyfriend or a relationship.

Tell your friends he ain't your boyfriend/man until he ask you to be exclusive. You cannot go around claiming folks and they are not aware or in on the deal. Your friends are trippin. That is how chicks feelings get hurt.

That's exactly what I said he is not my boyfriend and let them know they made on sense

Sent from my HTC EVO 3D

 

[CarLiTa]

So, the new guy has avidly expressed that he is not a planner. I don't know if my roommate has told him that I don't get down with no planning. He's all like I love being spontaneous, yada yada yada, and I'm like oh, okay well, I like to plan.

He thought our date on Sunday was spontaneous... No, buddy, we talked about it several days in advance actually. It was just extra casual.
He wants to meet up tonight, bc I backed out on last night's invitation, but I am probably going to be very crampy, and I need to get my life together. I've suggested Monday evening, and he's trying to tell me it's too far in advance for him to plan. Huh? then he talks about how he's bad at planning and would rather avoid it. Look, because I plan ahead, my schedule fills up. No, I can't meet tonight.

 

[CarLiTa]

Him: well in a way I am excited to hang out with someone who plans to the detail.

Says to self: yeah, you better be.

 

[meesch]

We have a busy weekend and I'm looking forward to every moment of it with him.

For Friday night, we're just hanging out at his house; just the two of us. The little boy, my little love-bug, hung out with us just about every weekend in March and April. So we didn't really have any "us" time since I was always in mommy mode and he was always in "supporting mommy mode". But now that the little love-bug is back on track for every other weekend visits with his dad, we can relax a little.

My best friend is getting married Saturday and he's accompanying me to the wedding. He took me shopping for a dress and shoes yesterday and assisted me in picking out a really cute red and black dress. Whatever he decides to wear, it will accent my dress. He says he will surprise me. He is an extremely fashion conscious man, so I'm sure he will look very very handsome.

Sunday morning we are going to Florida to see Anthony Hamilton
in concert. This will be a double date with my sister and her husband.

And he gave me another dozen red roses Monday when I went over to visit him. I love him.

awwwwww. your relationship is fantastic.

 

[NappyNelle]

Why does my ex keeping doing this? These are measures you should have taken when we were together.

 

[CarLiTa]

I am getting a little worried about this guy...
He said something like, well, you would have to make a LOTS of time for me.

He prides himself on being super active and living an awesome life, which he does... But I am sensing some impatience, or... something.
Like, he just listed a bunch of things he would want to do, and they actually sound right up my alley... But then he's like, well, it def doesn't sound like you do those things, and goes on to say that he doesn't mean it in a negative way (not at my prompting).

I don't really like the assumption. I'm not super bothered, but I just want to be like, I think you should relax. Allow us to get more comfortable with each other first before doing some of these things together.

This is what I mean with not being eager to make space in my life and my schedule for someone new. From what he's told me, sounds like he's used to the opposite, but then again so far he has only dated people he's been friends with, and this is brand new to him.

 

[Theo]

ugh... he would hit me up now. i want to tell him to come meet me where i am so we can study together, but i'm wearing no makeup and my eyebrows are a mess. its not really the no makeup thing... its the eyebrows. I'm looking kinda Drake-y. I was gonna go hit up the thread spa b/f coming to school this morning too. Bullocks.

Either way, its not happening. I can't have him see me like this. Its too early.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Aww, he always gets exited when it's not long till we see each other.

Love the thought of him walking around work with a spring in his step and a smile on his face tomorrow. Just want him here now.

 

[meesch]

Aww, he always gets exited when it's not long till we see each other.

Love the thought of him walking around work with a spring in his step and a smile on his face tomorrow. Just want him here now.

when i met bfs new roommate, who is also his coworker, the coworkers like, yeah, i can always tell when hes talking to you because hes sitting there with a goofy grin on his face

why did one of my exes call me yesterday like as soon as bf showed up... i probably should have answered it but i didnt know what he wanted and didnt want to have the conversation in front of him. we were still seeing each other off and on right up until i started seeing bf. so i just looked at it and put the phone back down. hope that didnt look suspicious.

 

[deltadreamland]

awwwwww. your relationship is fantastic.

Thanks! I'm a little frustrated, but not with him. We will have all this time to ourselves this weekend and it's my time of the month. No sense in both of us suffering through the next 5 days, so I will take very good care of him.

 

[-PYT]

I get these urges to hit him up but I know they are normal being that he had been a part of my life for so long. When they hit, I ask myself if there is anything logical we have to talk about that will not upset us both in the end Taking it day by day still...

 

[LaBelleLL]

I read an article on madamenoire.com that has me feeling somekind of way. It's a woman writing a letter to her future DH, in it she states that she will wait for him and will not date in the meantime so as to not have mental baggage. My question is: how are you supposed to meet someone if you're not even dating? Maybe I'm the one doing things wrong because all three of my sisters have been/are in serious committed relationships, meanwhile I've never been in one and I date for the most part. :/

I definitely think to each her own. But what I don't understand is why dating means the result is that you have mental baggage. As long as you have physical boundaries (that you stick you) and you have a discerning eye, it is very possible to not develop mental baggage. The worst that could happen is that you may get frustrated in sifting through people. Otherwise, it's possible to maintain optimism, etc.

Did your sisters never date or something? I think it's hard to compare yourself to people.....

 

[Katherina]

since when did going out on two dates equal a relationship. Im tired of my friends (1 guy & 1 girl) telling me to stop saying this guy is my friend and say what it really is. i let them know we went on 2 dates and we are NOT in a relationship so i will not refer to him as my boyfriend. Am i missing something have i been out of the dating game that long that now i cant say we just friends because we dating

Naw

Commitment is never just, implied like that. Exclusivity must be explicitly stated or it doesn't exist. At least that's how my world works ...

 

[Katherina]

I definitely think to each her own. But what I don't understand is why dating means the result is that you have mental baggage. As long as you have physical boundaries (that you stick you) and you have a discerning eye, it is very possible to not develop mental baggage. The worst that could happen is that you may get frustrated in sifting through people. Otherwise, it's possible to maintain optimism, etc.

Did your sisters never date or something? I think it's hard to compare yourself to people.....

I agree. I'd also add - don't underestimate the importance of mental boundaries. In other words, getting "caught up" is ill-advised. Falling "head over heels" for some dude is fun at first, but it isn't smart, because that's how you end up jaded when things don't work out.

@ maracuja, Don't worry about not having been in a relationship. It's not a big deal unless you make it one ... no need to rush it - you may regret doing that.

 

[Mortons]

Boo condidate #2 is 17 years older than me I don't find it bothersome though

 

[beautyintheyes]

I am getting a little worried about this guy...
He said something like, well, you would have to make a LOTS of time for me.

He prides himself on being super active and living an awesome life, which he does... But I am sensing some impatience, or... something.
Like, he just listed a bunch of things he would want to do, and they actually sound right up my alley... But then he's like, well, it def doesn't sound like you do those things, and goes on to say that he doesn't mean it in a negative way (not at my prompting).

I don't really like the assumption. I'm not super bothered, but I just want to be like, I think you should relax. Allow us to get more comfortable with each other first before doing some of these things together.

This is what I mean with not being eager to make space in my life and my schedule for someone new. From what he's told me, sounds like he's used to the opposite, but then again so far he has only dated people he's been friends with, and this is brand new to him.

Girl he sounds like a lot of work lol but it's worth it if he a genially a good man

 

[firecracker]

deltadreamland if Anthony Hamilton sticks to most of his early stuff you guys will be in 7th Heaven. I hope you guys are seeing him at a small venue. Enjoy your weekend. Sounds like fun.


I'm glad my babe is getting the medical attention he needs. Men will ignore stuff while its slapping them in the face. Scary butts.

He took me to a lil hole in the wall breakfast spot this morning. He said when he first moved from Louisiana he used to go there daily and hadn't been in years. The minute we walked in the Asian lady behind the counter said "hey where you been?" I laughed so hard because she proceeded to say "well at least you aged well"! LOL It was too funny. His face turned beet red! LOL


If this weather and my aching upper body gets itself together we can go camping and visit Allensworth in a few weeks. We are finalizing our Saturday/Cinco De Mayo plans. Totally forgot there is a fight that night. I want to go to my favorite Mexican restaurant after the Gospel concert but that won't be happening.

 

[beautyintheyes]

Ok now he's driving me crazy....but in a good way!

Something about the way he says certain things, that make me melt inside out..
*c'mere (getting my attention)
*yea? (after I "voice" my satisfication)
*open your legs (self explanatory)

don't let him use them all in one sentence

Can't.wait.to.get.off

I need me some of that lol take one for the team jk

 

[CarLiTa]

firecracker, I love your life sounds like you are living it so purposefully.

 

[VeryBecoming]

I can't wait to see him this weekend.

I'm thinking about making fajitas, margaritas and cupcakes for Cinco de Mayo.