First love/ first boyfriend- In my dm's inviting me on an emotional rollercoaster
On an off again relationship from the time we were 15 until 27. Like many have shared, he was wonderful when he wasn't cheating. The last time we reconnected was after 3 years apart. In my attempt to move on, I had a daughter. At the time he had two children. About seven months in, I found out there was a 3rd kid that came before the other 2- 8 years old and in those 8 years he never said a word.
He had excuses. I tried to understand, but I just felt like he never cared for me... like it was all a lie. My feelings were hurt hurt. Not to mention, I had a daughter now and I didn't want her to think that this is what love looks like. I ended things and purposely avoided him for about 10 years. He was in the military so it was easy. But I would see his father all the time and he would always say,"you should've stayed with my son."
First love returns to the area about two years ago because his mother is sick. He is currently on his second marriage- they have 1 son together- he has 4 kids now. We started to follow each on IG. He looked good. In great shape. Still has all his hair. From the looks of it, he seems to enjoy being a father. He also has custody of one of his other sons and travels to see the other two often.
The mother passed away about a year ago. I offer my condolences via social media. Six months later his send me a series of dm's, more or less apologizing for his behavior when we were younger. Blames it on immaturity, ego, not realizing what he had, blah, blah, blah. Claims he never stopped loving me. He tries to see if we can link up and I say no.
I finally run into him at a series of events for a friend that passed (vigils/wake/ funeral). I think I melted. We chat at each. The subject of family comes up and he shares that the wife moved out of state with their kid- it's just him and his oldest now. I change subjects.
He slides in my dm's frequently. Sometimes he'll ask me to hang out, I say no. Sent his number a few weeks ago saying he was gonna close his acct and I could contact him that way. I've never used it. He has yet to close the acct. My best friend thinks I should let him take me out. I moonwalked out the grocery store about two Sunday's ago when I saw him in the deli section. Seeing him is too much. All the feels.
Why can't he be out here aging like milk, while I'm somewhere happily married.