"You should be going out with every man who asks"

yokoyokogirl

yokoyokogirl

New Member
What do you ladies think of this?

My gf told me that if a guy asks you out, you should accept his offer, even if he's not cute, your type or even interesting, because you have no idea what may happen.

I would like to meet someone and start a relationship, but I get put off easily by first encounters. So basically if they ask me out, I should go and not view it as ""wasting time"?

What do you ladies think about this in the world of dating?
 
As long as there isn't something that you can already identify that turns you off about the person/you know is a dealbreaker, I really don't see the harm. You never know what might surprise you. But I also think an open attitude is just as important, since if you're closed off to the person while you're on the date, it will defeat the purpose.
 
Unless you would feel unsafe, why not? At the very least you might make a friend, have a new experience...or meet someone else while out!
 
This is what I think of that: :rolleyes:

I'm all for opening up to new possibilities if you're not finding what you want/expected, but just any old dude who asks? Looks like whatever? Smells like whatever? Talks like whatever? Approaches you like whatever? Please. That is a negative.
 
That statement reeks of desperation. Just because a man approaches me and appears cool does not mean I have to give him my time. He has to earn that because my time is very valuable to me. It is not meant to be given to any man that shows interest.
 
I'd never be at home...dang

I do feel one can be open but i just go by feeling...there are guys who I thought I may not have went for that I ended up going out with and that was by feeling something vs just writing them off....I will talk to a guy, converse with him and be open to see if Im picking up any vibes that let me know I should see whats up if I don't I just pass....even if he is my physical type if Im not feeling him I will pass
 
Thanks for the advice ladies...

Yes my friend pretty much goes out with anyone who asks. Usually she just goes as a friend and enjoys having the company. She can't stand being at home alone tho....

For me, I kinda like being home alone so I guess that's why I don't just accept offers from anyone....
 
yokoyokogirl said:
Thanks for the advice ladies...

Yes my friend pretty much goes out with anyone who asks. Usually she just goes as a friend and enjoys having the company. She can't stand being at home alone tho....

For me, I kinda like being home alone so I guess that's why I don't just accept offers from anyone....
Click to expand...
If she can't be alone, then how can she expect to find someone who truly wants to be with her? If you don't have a great relationship with yourself, you can never expect to have a great relationship with someone else. You will only continue to attract your incompleteness. Maybe that's why she goes out with anyone..each guy is a part to an incomplete whole. If that makes sense.

People who can't stand to be alone are that way because they can't stand themselves.
 
BUMP that. I'd never be at home either.

I'm sorry; I have strict standards which i adhere to. Not only that but I'm not the type of person who wants to be seen out every weekend with a different guy. I think its tacky. A guy who gets my time is very special.
 
Um noooo.... not every man is worth your time, and there are a bunch of psychos out there~! Once the guy pasts the initial is this man crazy test, then I will go out with him even if I'm not 100% attracted to him. But not every Joe gets to go out with me. But sometimes I go out with a guy b/c I want free dinner or a movie haha.
 
While I don't go out with every man who asks, if he has a nice personality or whatever I will go out with him even if I'm not attracted to him.

If nothing pop off romantically, he can still be a possible contact or friend. I met some of my best guy friends this way.
 
Hrm.

I think that of course, you should use a basic filter - clean, intelligent, etc, etc - to avoid getting into situations with no possible future hope - either one on one, or via networking. However, once all that is out of the way - why not? I'm all about expanding the range of your in's/connections/network/phonebook.

Yeah, he might turn out to be not your type, but his coworker/brother/linebrother/cousin/sisters boyfriends brother might be very much your type.

So, yes, you should be going out with almost every man who asks - esp. if you are actively looking for a husband. If you just 'dating' - then sure, you can take your sweet time, and not work beyond what is presented to you in just the right package - but if you are looking - well.

That might take a bit more effort, and if you haven't found him yet, you might want to start doing something - different - from what you've been doing, ya know? ;)
 
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I completely disagree with the statement "You should be going out with every man who asks." That makes you seem easy, vulnerable, and desperate for a relationship and I don't think it is healthy to just go out with every man who asks, especially if you are not initially interested in him. You will be losing sight of your self-worth and your actual wants and desires in a man. Find other productive things to do with your time instead of giving yourself (whether it's mentally, physically, and/or emotionally) to every man that hollers for you. It's ok to meet and greet new men as just platonic friends but not for just random dating.
 
JustKiya said:
Hrm.

I think that of course, you should use a basic filter - clean, intelligent, etc, etc - to avoid getting into situations with no possible future hope - either one on one, or via networking. However, once all that is out of the way - why not? I'm all about expanding the range of your in's/connections/network/phonebook.

Yeah, he might turn out to be not your type, but his coworker/brother/linebrother/cousin/sisters boyfriends brother might be very much your type.
Click to expand...

thats true....and thats another reason I follow my feeling.....

Met a guy on myspace a few years ago....I very rarely pay attention to all the guys online who are asking to get to know me, but this one particular guy seemed to catch my attention...i went to his page nothing remotely about how he looked, wrote about or anything was of interest to me...yet I still communicated with him....gave him my number...he came to LA and we hung out for the weekend and I was really like....I;m not feeling this dude on any levels and you would think communication would cease...but it didn't...when he would call I would talk to him, brief friendly convos....one day he calls me and tells me he is in Vegas and I should drive out there to see him....I'm in the mall with my best friend and I'm like to her...no..why in the world would I drop everything I'm doing and drive out to vegas to hang out with a guy I'm not really interested in, why would he think I even want to come see him yada yada ya.....but i get a sudden urge to do just that.....its about 5 pm and I say to my best friend...

Lets drive to Vegas

she's like what..are you serious..I'm like yea....so we go home pack a few things and hit the road...on the way there I call and tell him I changed my mind and that I will come out there with my girl..and he says...thats cool...I'm out here with a couple friends so your girl can meet one of them...he is with that friend and the friend asks to speak to me but I give the phone to my homegirl and they briefly talk and we make plans to meet up with them later....

long story short...we get out there really late...lolligag at my aunts house for awhile and I finally go meet up with the guy around midnite or later at one of the casinos....he had a friend with him but it wasn't the guy we talked to earlier and at this point I'm like what am I doing here..they asking us if we want to hang out or go eat or something and she's not feeling his friend...im not feeling him...this encounter lasts no more than about 30 mins before we leave and go back to my aunts house and then we get up and leave the next morning...

now...I'm really confused about why I made that 4 hour drive out there, only stayed a few hours, only went to a certain place for about 30 mins to meet up with a guy who since I met him I had no real interest in but I just kept goin with gut feelings...

that same day I start getting calls from a number I don't know so i don't answer it but the person keeps callin all day so finally i answer it and it turns out to be the original friend my girl was supposed to meet but who was talking to some other girl the night we came because we were taking too long to come up to the casino, but he had seen us even though we didnt see him and he instantly felt an attraction to me and found a way to get my number from the other dude...

we talked on the phone everyday for about a week...he flew me out to chicago the next week originally for three days, turned into a week...went home a few days and went back and spent the rest of the summer with him....started a relationship

one of my greatest love experiences
 
tiara76 said:
thats true....and thats another reason I follow my feeling.....

Met a guy on myspace a few years ago....I very rarely pay attention to all the guys online who are asking to get to know me, but this one particular guy seemed to catch my attention...i went to his page nothing remotely about how he looked, wrote about or anything was of interest to me...yet I still communicated with him....gave him my number...he came to LA and we hung out for the weekend and I was really like....I;m not feeling this dude on any levels and you would think communication would cease...but it didn't...when he would call I would talk to him, brief friendly convos....one day he calls me and tells me he is in Vegas and I should drive out there to see him....I'm in the mall with my best friend and I'm like to her...no..why in the world would I drop everything I'm doing and drive out to vegas to hang out with a guy I'm not really interested in, why would he think I even want to come see him yada yada ya.....but i get a sudden urge to do just that.....its about 5 pm and I say to my best friend...

Lets drive to Vegas

she's like what..are you serious..I'm like yea....so we go home pack a few things and hit the road...on the way there I call and tell him I changed my mind and that I will come out there with my girl..and he says...thats cool...I'm out here with a couple friends so your girl can meet one of them...he is with that friend and the friend asks to speak to me but I give the phone to my homegirl and they briefly talk and we make plans to meet up with them later....

long story short...we get out there really late...lolligag at my aunts house for awhile and I finally go meet up with the guy around midnite or later at one of the casinos....he had a friend with him but it wasn't the guy we talked to earlier and at this point I'm like what am I doing here..they asking us if we want to hang out or go eat or something and she's not feeling his friend...im not feeling him...this encounter lasts no more than about 30 mins before we leave and go back to my aunts house and then we get up and leave the next morning...

now...I'm really confused about why I made that 4 hour drive out there, only stayed a few hours, only went to a certain place for about 30 mins to meet up with a guy who since I met him I had no real interest in but I just kept goin with gut feelings...

that same day I start getting calls from a number I don't know so i don't answer it but the person keeps callin all day so finally i answer it and it turns out to be the original friend my girl was supposed to meet but who was talking to some other girl the night we came because we were taking too long to come up to the casino, but he had seen us even though we didnt see him and he instantly felt an attraction to me and found a way to get my number from the other dude...

we talked on the phone everyday for about a week...he flew me out to chicago the next week originally for three days, turned into a week...went home a few days and went back and spent the rest of the summer with him....started a relationship

one of my greatest love experiences
Click to expand...

*lol* :lol: :infatuated: Wow - see. That's what I'm talking about - what a twisty path that meeting took!
 
I say only GO if you like something about the guy.

Meaning all types of men will hit on a woman, but you are not obligated to agree to a date if you are not feeling him on any big or deep level.

I will turn someone down QUICK, during the initial conversation if:
· He can’t hold a conversation or seems unintelligent
· he is "unattractive" to me
· our values differ greatly on major issues
· he is into anything immortal or illegal
· he just gives me the creeps or seem shady
 
CurliDiva said:
I say only GO if you like something about the guy.

Meaning all types of men will hit on a woman, but you are not obligated to agree to a date if you are not feeling him on any big or deep level.

I will turn someone down QUICK, during the initial conversation if:
· He can’t hold a conversation or seems unintelligent
· he is "unattractive" to me
· our values differ greatly on major issues
· he is into anything immortal or illegal
· he just gives me the creeps or seem shady
Click to expand...

i feel you on the shadiness i will pick up on that and let it go....

lol in my example above

dude wasn't good at conversing and when he told me he spent a third of his yearly salary on one piece of jewelry I was really like....wow, thats so unimpressive and not that smart
i wasn't physically attracted to him in the least
we definitely didnt see eye to eye on pretty much anything

yet still gave him a chance and led to my choobz....just had to follow my heart cuz my head was like...no no no no.....my heart was like just be cool and go with it don't let this go
 
I agree with that statement to a certain extent.
I feel like you never know what a person can add to your life or how they could lead to a (good) place you would have never otherwise gone. So as long a he doesn't come with any obvious deal breakers. (dirty, criminal, dispectful) I say go for it.
 
tiara76 said:
i feel you on the shadiness i will pick up on that and let it go....

lol in my example above

dude wasn't good at conversing and when he told me he spent a third of his yearly salary on one piece of jewelry I was really like....wow, thats so unimpressive and not that smart
i wasn't physically attracted to him in the least
we definitely didnt see eye to eye on pretty much anything

yet still gave him a chance and led to my choobz....just had to follow my heart cuz my head was like...no no no no.....my heart was like just be cool and go with it don't let this go
Click to expand...
Did the first guy ever give you a hard time or "hate" on his friend for the two of you getting together?
 
I personally think my time is precious and valuable and I hate feeling like I wasted my time, kinda like how I felt when I watched the Truman Show nearly two hrs of my life GONE :( If I dont want to go out with the guy I wont, And I will also be saving him his time (and his money) and he can use that on a girl who actually wants to be on a date him. Also I have realised when i dont want to be somewhere or do something I become unpleasant and complain a lot LOL so it wont be a pleasurable experience for either of us
 
It is whom you feel comfortable around and your comfort level. However, IMHO yes, I would date a man who asks. All it is a date nothing more/less.
 
tiara76 said:
thats true....and thats another reason I follow my feeling.....

Met a guy on myspace a few years ago....I very rarely pay attention to all the guys online who are asking to get to know me, but this one particular guy seemed to catch my attention...i went to his page nothing remotely about how he looked, wrote about or anything was of interest to me...yet I still communicated with him....gave him my number...he came to LA and we hung out for the weekend and I was really like....I;m not feeling this dude on any levels and you would think communication would cease...but it didn't...when he would call I would talk to him, brief friendly convos....one day he calls me and tells me he is in Vegas and I should drive out there to see him....I'm in the mall with my best friend and I'm like to her...no..why in the world would I drop everything I'm doing and drive out to vegas to hang out with a guy I'm not really interested in, why would he think I even want to come see him yada yada ya.....but i get a sudden urge to do just that.....its about 5 pm and I say to my best friend...

Lets drive to Vegas

she's like what..are you serious..I'm like yea....so we go home pack a few things and hit the road...on the way there I call and tell him I changed my mind and that I will come out there with my girl..and he says...thats cool...I'm out here with a couple friends so your girl can meet one of them...he is with that friend and the friend asks to speak to me but I give the phone to my homegirl and they briefly talk and we make plans to meet up with them later....

long story short...we get out there really late...lolligag at my aunts house for awhile and I finally go meet up with the guy around midnite or later at one of the casinos....he had a friend with him but it wasn't the guy we talked to earlier and at this point I'm like what am I doing here..they asking us if we want to hang out or go eat or something and she's not feeling his friend...im not feeling him...this encounter lasts no more than about 30 mins before we leave and go back to my aunts house and then we get up and leave the next morning...

now...I'm really confused about why I made that 4 hour drive out there, only stayed a few hours, only went to a certain place for about 30 mins to meet up with a guy who since I met him I had no real interest in but I just kept goin with gut feelings...

that same day I start getting calls from a number I don't know so i don't answer it but the person keeps callin all day so finally i answer it and it turns out to be the original friend my girl was supposed to meet but who was talking to some other girl the night we came because we were taking too long to come up to the casino, but he had seen us even though we didnt see him and he instantly felt an attraction to me and found a way to get my number from the other dude...

we talked on the phone everyday for about a week...he flew me out to chicago the next week originally for three days, turned into a week...went home a few days and went back and spent the rest of the summer with him....started a relationship

one of my greatest love experiences
Click to expand...

Dang, y'all didn't get married?
 
No you shouldn't. This sounds like that thread with the psycho who shot those women in the gym and a bunch of posters were like well someone could've smiled at him or given him some attention. NO.

Your time is valuable and you don't need to waste it going out with some guy who may see you as leading him on for going out with him when you weren't interested. That's not fair to him.

We rip guys apart who date girls just to use them and they are not interested in them. It's no different for women.
 
MissJ said:
Dang, y'all didn't get married?
Click to expand...

he was real close to being the one....real close, I think I may have met the one this year though.....after we broke up we stayed really close, actually got even closer....I would always ask my heart if he was the one and I was always getting "no" as an answer, esp since it was such a very strong connection....I asked a few intuitive readers and all of them were like no he's not the one...the last one...she picked up on his energy and was like...wow, I really like him and I really like you guys together and he is soooooooooo close, but he's not the one, I wish I could say he was, she was in love with his energy...she told me that when I ran across the one I would know it instantly no question about it ....he's still my heart and were still close....he writes me love songs...he's so sweet Love him to itty bitty subatomic pieces

I met a guy back in May...(I've had an experience of love at first site my best male friend soulmate), but this guy I was like...I will marry him right now, and I've never said that about anybody seriously as an adult, not even that sure with my ex.....

Does anybody know his name...

I know now that if I had to choose right now to either only be with my ex or be with the new guy I met it would be the new guy with no hesitation and our relationship I can tell is going to be one of growth it would definitely be easier to have a relationship with my ex
 
My friend tried to tell me that I never know what could happen when I told her about the 58 yr old man at work who likes me. (I'm 26). I said no way in hell and she said 'you never know what could happen.' In this case, yes, I do know. Nothing
 
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