A Man Asks You To Clean His Place

BillsBackerz67 said:
Right? TF just say no! :lachen:
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My now DH tried some similar nonsense with me when we were dating. Partly bc of how he grew up. I said no. To this day, I will not do his laundry. He grew up with a single mom catering to his needs. I told him he doesn’t want a second mom so he going to have to pull his weight domestically.

My dad’s family also tried to guilt my mom bc back in the day she didn’t go to their home to help them clean (this was a thing where she grew up...girlfriends assisting the mothers of their boyfriends with household chores/groceries). They couldn’t stand her. Years later, they love her and sing her praises.

Stand your ground. Don’t let these men and old women guilt you into cleaning up after someone. We have a cleaning lady and it lessens conflict. I’ve also made it clear that I cook when I want to cook not bc I have to cook for him. If he mopes, I remind him that if he wants he can go slave away for more money or downgrade our lifestyle so I can be a stay at home. Men can’t have it both ways. I’m not working full time and cleaning/cooking full time. Period.
 
Menina Preta said:
It bothers her. Or OP wouldn’t know his weight. In mid 30s, women relax physical standards and date the fat and very short hoping their “Prince” is coming in a non standard package. Some women luck out. This woman has not. Such an obese person, who is cheap and a hoarder. This sounds like a making of a TLC show. Steups.

The friend in question probably thinking why I let this big man with breasts sweat on top of me for the past couple of months and now this fool has the nerve to ask me to clean his spot?!?! He should be happy she’s even willing to copulate with him.
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BillsBackerz67 said:
If he’s 300 lbs in his 30s what do you think he’ll weigh when he’s 50? IF he even makes it to 50o_O Idk about y’all but I think that far ahead.
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I'm mid 30s so I get some relaxing of standards, but she knew what he looked like from jump. If it was that big a turn off, don't date him.

But my bigger point is his weight has nothing to do with the dirty house. If this was Idris Elba in this scenario, I'd still be mad about the house and refuse to clean. We'd probably just be having better sex.
 
ladysaraii said:
I'm mid 30s so I get some relaxing of standards, but she knew what he looked like from jump. If it was that big a turn off, don't date him.

But my bigger point is his weight has nothing to do with the dirty house. If this was Idris Elba in this scenario, I'd still be mad about the house and refuse to clean. We'd probably just be having better sex.
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On the contrary morbid obesity is linked to hoarding/a nasty house because 9 times out of 10 these people do not have the physical stamina to clean, bend, and reach to thoroughly clean their home (or their bodies for that matter). I like rotund guys too, but my cut off point is 250 lbs depending on his height and lifestyle. His home is clearly a reflection of himself on the outside and the inside. A whole mess.
 
LiftedUp said:
Exactly! Plus he's 300 lbs and a trash hoarder. That speaks volumes. I'm pretty sure that there's a whole lot of unaddressed mess under all of that. She should use this as an opportunity to exit left.
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That’s why I’m a bit perplexed why some don’t really think his weight and this are related. It is. Add children to the mix and def kiss your life goodbye. Matter of fact he’ll outlive her lol. This ain’t it.
 
Menina Preta said:
My now DH tried some similar nonsense with me when we were dating. Partly bc of how he grew up. I said no. To this day, I will not do his laundry. He grew up with a single mom catering to his needs. I told him he doesn’t want a second mom so he going to have to pull his weight domestically.

My dad’s family also tried to guilt my mom bc back in the day she didn’t go to their home to help them clean (this was a thing where she grew up...girlfriends assisting the mothers of their boyfriends with household chores/groceries). They couldn’t stand her. Years later, they love her and sing her praises.

Stand your ground. Don’t let these men and old women guilt you into cleaning up after someone. We have a cleaning lady and it lessens conflict. I’ve also made it clear that I cook when I want to cook not bc I have to cook for him. If he mopes, I remind him that if he wants he can go slave away for more money or downgrade our lifestyle so I can be a stay at home. Men can’t have it both ways. I’m not working full time and cleaning/cooking full time. Period.
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Laundry is my least favorite chore so much so that I reduced the amount of clothes that I have. So the last thing I would do is marry a dude and do his laundry. That is one chore we wil keep separate unless he’s ill or I’m being nice that day.

My mom always told me don’t start something that you can’t finish.
 
ladysaraii said:
I'm mid 30s so I get some relaxing of standards, but she knew what he looked like from jump. If it was that big a turn off, don't date him.

But my bigger point is his weight has nothing to do with the dirty house. If this was Idris Elba in this scenario, I'd still be mad about the house and refuse to clean. We'd probably just be having better sex.
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The weight matters because there is an unspoken assumption that fat people are lazy therefore he is too lazy to clean his own house!
 
HappilyLiberal said:
The weight matters because there is an unspoken assumption that fat people are lazy therefore he is too lazy to clean his own house!
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And to be clear I’m by no means trying to bash overweight people. Most men, obese or not, are already lazy and feign helplessness....but add being 300+ lbs to the mix and it ain’t pretty. Even in my almost 10 years experience in bedside nursing I notice that obese male patients are total care vs the women. Women still attempt to wipe their own behind and participate in physical thereapy. I had a large dude on a bedpan that called me in to wipe his behind WHILE he was on his cell phone! o_O True story.
 
Miss_C said:
She doesn’t want to do it- she says she prefers guys who are more self sufficicient but she’s gotten some feedback from older married women who say this is fixable and she should give him a chance. She doesn’t want to be single but she still isn’t all the way sold on this guy, as it could definitely be a lifetime of more than she bargained for.

Mid 30s are a beast, man.
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Older married women will have you living in bondage right with them. Misery loves company! Lol
She needs to not date this man anymore. He has mental and emotional issues and he is looking for an enabler. The house will get more trashed and he will put on more weight. She will be fighting to keep a clean home, wash and wipe his butt too.
 
I stopped at 300 lbs. that’s not for me. Periodt. He doesn’t take care of himself. He can’t take care of anyone else.

Then I went back and HA!!! She’ll mess around be his nurse and maid.

Just because those women are old and married doesn’t mean they are happy. I’ve noticed a trend with older folk. When I discuss dissatisfaction with my work they shrug it off as millennial problems. They really want us out here miserable in every way. No one should encourage unhappiness.
 
Brwnbeauti said:
I stopped at 300 lbs. that’s not for me. Periodt. He doesn’t take care of himself. He can’t take care of anyone else.

Then I went back and HA!!! She’ll mess around be his nurse and maid.

Just because those women are old and married doesn’t mean they are happy. I’ve noticed a trend with older folk. When I discuss dissatisfaction with my work they shrug it off as millennial problems. They really want us out here miserable in every way. No one should encourage unhappiness.
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Hello indentured servitude. This is exactly what happens when you do too much too soon. I’m dating a new guy (not new to my life) I’ve known him since we were 10. Just recently I allowed him into my house. “I didn’t know you were this clean” “wow I didn’t know you can cook”....exactly because that’s not something I brag about to men when I’m having a conversation with them. For what? Any time a dude has asked me if I can cook my answer is that “I know the basics and I try my best not to burn the house down” . Swear to god .


I’m not about to go into detail about my chicken sausage and turkey meatloaf that I’m a beast at or how I make amazing cube steak. Nor do I tell them that I love cleaning. I really try to keep any conversation involving domestic duties to the bare minimum.
 
Back in my day, 300 pound horder men had to pay prostitutes, now they out here dating and demanding. Maynnnn, the game done indeed changed for the worst. The absolute trifest of trife is that this fat bas-dude is cheap. He don't want a maid service because girlfriend elbow grease is free with the added bonus of a humiliation fueled erection at getting her to do it.

Men ain't poo.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Back in my day, 300 pound horder men had to pay prostitutes, now they out here dating and demanding. Maynnnn, the game done indeed changed for the worst. The absolute trifest of trife is that this fat bas-dude is cheap. He don't want a maid service because girlfriend elbow grease is free with the added bonus of a humiliation fueled erection at getting her to do it.

Men ain't poo.
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:lachen::lachen::lachen: True Dat
 
Lol I remember one of my friends tried to hint at me helping tidy her house back in the day and I just bust out laughing just like that Heston GIF.

This isn't the type of thing I'd say yes, no or think more about. You will get laughter and tears as a genuine reaction.

I think there are some guys out there who make these types of requests to women purely to see how far the woman will go for them. I would not be impressed at all.
 
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