mstar
Luxury bacon
There's a new Rori thread that was started this morning. I'm super busy today, but I'll post in there when I get a minute!
He Asks Me Out Then Bamboozles Me Into Paying: Updated
- Thread starter strenght81
- Start date
JerriBlank
Well-Known Member
I'm off to look! Thank you!
Bad&Bougee
Well-Known Member
You're absolutely right. That is where the learning curve comes in for some women. How do you go from casual, easy courtship to grown up dating when you've never observed it? I just hate the idea that every adult woman who stumbles a little in modern-day dating does so because she has low self-esteem and wasn't taught about values growing up. Maybe she was taught about values, but none of that translated into anything useful for her as a single woman over 30 on a whole new playing field. When your mother met your shy, likely still a virgin father at 15, and courtship consisted of hitting up the burger and milkshake spot after the football game, what can she really tell you about how to navigate this new dating world? Pops was already in love after some heavy petting at Makeout Point.
And let's be real, many coupled people in our lives who give advice on dating have never been single for longer than a few months. They couldn't possibly know how hard it is to keep firm on standards when it has been years and you're craving companionship and some vitamin D.
I don't think any woman should feel guilty or beat themselves up about slipping. It happens to the best of us. We all need a little help figuring this mess out. That's why I'm glad there are women on this board who get it because they have lived it.
SurferBabe I agree wholeheartedly! Not only have most married people almost always have been in a relationship but dating has changed tremendously! Individuals that have been married for 10 years or more CANNOT give dating advice because our advice is no longer compatible with present day. If my husband and I divorced right now, I don't know what I would do because these lil dudes out here would get on my nerves! I have a cousin, cute woman, but she hasn't had a good man in who knows how long. Most of her dudes are in prison or fresh out of prison. The don't have a car, job or their own place and she seems to be ok with this. They look good as heck though!! I'm not casting judgement but honey, things can't be that bad, can they?
It's easy for me (a person who has been married for 21 years) to say "do this and do that" but my 1995 tricks do not work on these new lil dudes. They have a different mentality, perception of reality and ideals. I can tell you how to keep a man but not how to get one.
strenght81
Well-Known Member
Nope he hasn't! Clearly He's not that into me and the feelings are mutual!
TwoSnapsUp
Well-Known Member
Does this Rori lady teach you how to get men to actually approach and speak to you, rather than just peaking/looking/staring?
Or how to look approachable so that a man you don't see will have the guts to approach?
Or how to look approachable so that a man you don't see will have the guts to approach?
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
strenght81
Well-Known Member
I've shared my experience in real life and will continue to do so as it might help someone. This thread has helped many. I tell my friends to live vicariously through me. There is Nothing wrong with sharing my story
Bunnyhaslonghair
Ebonics Queen
Agreed. How will women learn if we don't confide with each other. LHCF and ppl got jokes but these threads have helped me and and I'm sure others.
fula97
Well-Known Member
Hmm I'm not so sure about this. The rules of dating don't change. Not in my opinion. Yeah some men of today have a different mentality but those are not men that I want anyway. Times change and I agree with that but the general "how to choose a man" definitely does not which is why I feel like married women (barring those women @SurferBabe mentioned that met their partners when they were practically kids) can certainly give great advice.
Bad&Bougee
Well-Known Member
I agree. How to choose a man never changes but the type of men to choose from has. I'm a little dismayed at the type of men I work with and encounter on a day to day basis. Maybe men aren't all that different and I have just been married too long but when I was dating, I know for certain that I crossed paths with way more eligible men that would make great husbands than I do now. To me, the ones I have ran across and hear my single friends complain about aren't as thoughtful and chivalrous as what I am used to. I can't give advice for them because Lord knows I don't know what to do with that.
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
I have to push back on this because, like I said earlier, women want exponentially 'better' men nowadays. Besides your normal character judgments, they want them to have million $ educations, make six figures, be 6' tall, dress impeccably, be socially awesome, etc. I mean, regular people could pay off a decent house back in the day too, but money done changed and this is where we find ourselves.
I've never dated in the world y'all describe. My brother did, but we had different paths. Both raised in NY, but I went to school with the types the NY ladies are dating now. I know them. I chose from among them. They're arrogant ....holes.
(Which is why I suggest making them prove their ardor, etc.)Similar threads
