Would you date a white man if he didn't make as much money as you?

Well, my personal experience may help somewhat. This if of course based on The great US of A and all it's fairness, LOL. I dated a WG who didn't have a job at the time. But, he still had money and didn't have to skimp on dates and whatever. Anyway, he ended up getting a job and was actually out-earning me, especially with his bonuses and whatnot. I have a degree and he has a HS diploma. Soooo, if he has a sound plan AND he's talking about a future with you, I say give him a chance. If you'd give a brother a chance, why not him. I totally understand what you're saying though, but in this country, you know how it's set up, so if he says he's going to make more money, then more than likely, he'll make more money. Just sayin...
 
Here's a warning.

I don't know what this guy looks like, but just from what you're telling me I want him. I know others on this thread have said the same thing. If you're not sure if want this guy, this is going to be a problem since others will start to take advantage of your insecurities. I know when I had my IRLs, lots of jealous people would try to change my opinion of him not because of his color but because they wanted him for themselves. It may not seem like it now, but when it comes to "men with a good future" (black, white or other) woman of all colors are willing to do anything to get one. Including chat him up, listen to his problems with you, dis you when you're not around and finally seduce him away.

So if you want him, you need to really hold on to him. But if you don't and feel like your desires for BM will get in the way, be prepared.
 
BillsBackerz67 said:
I HATE when people assume that the only way WM will only like BW and no other ethnic groups is because of a sick fetish :rolleyes: Is it uncommon? yes. But I think If I where a WM Id prob be attracted to mainly black women too :look:. Like Enyo said most fetishes are based on pure sexual desires and with that said this man would not be wasting the OP's time talking about marriage and the possibly of having kids if it was jut to satisfy a fetish.
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I find that such a statement actually is an indictment of black women... a black woman with a healthy sense of self-esteem wouldn't automatically assume that a non-black man with an interest in black women has a fetish, unless he has done something obvious to show that his interest is only sexual.
 
Bunny77 said:
I find that such a statement actually is an indictment of black women... a black woman with a healthy sense of self-esteem wouldn't automatically assume that a non-black man with an interest in black women has a fetish, unless he has done something obvious to show that his interest is only sexual.
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I was thinking the exact same thing. I love my skin tone, 4a hair, and booty. I love my full lips and my smooth voice. I don't see why a nice White guy shouldn't like me and want to get to know me. Yes, lots of non-Black men are just curious, but lots of Black men have attempted to use me for sex too.
 
Girlfriend, get past race and what others will say and go for it. Usually when white men say they have a plan, they execute it and follow through with it. And take it from me, fooling around and waiting on that one black man will guarantee you a condo in spinster hood city and that's a fact!
 
MrsHdrLe said:
It seems to me that you're not really into this guy. "If it don't fit, don't force it just relax and let [him] go." I'm sure plenty of other women would be fine with that, seeing as how he's got a plan, isn't trying to string you along for a 10 year ride along, and is willing to take care of you and your potential children. But I understand if you can't get with stares from strangers who don't know you and quite honestly don't care about you, but if you can't you just can't. There's plenty of men out there, just trade him in.
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I agree with this. You want a brotha. And so you will find things in this guy that you aren't quite right to explain away he isn't the right one. Don't force it. Neither of you will be happy.
 
I wouldn't date ANYONE who wasn't making at least at much as me. Exceptions: ambitious, well-connnected genius just starting out or someone ambitious/responsible in Med/law school or finishing a doctorate. Or product of current bad economy.

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Barring situational circumstances like those others have already mentioned (job loss/unemployment, graduate school, residency, etc), no I would not because I don't think I could truly respect a man with whom I am in a relationship if he is not at least my equal in areas like intelligence and salary. It has nothing to do with race, nothing to do with the men, but everything to do with me personally. :yep:
 
I am dating someone who doesn't make as much as me.

As long as the guy is working and is supporting himself financially and still able to save what he can, I don't mind.
 
nysister said:
Lynnerie

Do you mind telling us how this worked out for you? Just curious.
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Sure nysister. Things did not work out. He ended up being a hot mess. I just couldn't do it- I felt like I was selling myself short and I found out that I made significantly more than him and he could not manage what little he had. He was broke as hell- like broke to the point where his fridge would be bare. I saw where this was going- I would be taking care of him cause even if a person doesn't make much if they can't manage their money they will always be struggling.

He had no ambition to go back to school even though his job would pay for some of it. We were unequally yoked you could say. I also got tired of him not being able to come and see me cause he didn't have enough money. He was steady talking about wanting me to have his kids but engagement/marriage would be 3 years down the road. He was obsessed with wanting biracial children knowing good and da*n well he couldnt even take care of himself. I was really through after he forgot to wish me a happy birthday. My b-day is Christmas day. So I told him it wasn't working out and he accused me of being a gold-digger and not dating based on the person's heart. :rolleyes: Then he cussed me out over the phone and told me he hated me. He wished a lot of bad things on me via text message then he apologized. But it was too late I kept it moving, hell thats what men do.

So I ended up meeting someone who worked at my job that I had never seen there before.(We initially met online and found out we worked for the same company- Our first time meeting he invited me to his church for a gospel concert.) He's black, a Christian, ambitious, educated, a good father to his daughter, owns his own side business, comes from a family like mine, treats me very well, makes more than me:look:. We met in February 2011 He asked my father for my hand in marriage in August, I picked out my ring in September and we just got engaged this month.

All I can say is don't settle- not even a little bit.
 
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frida1980 said:
Don't be offended. She just said that the black men she's personally dated had problems with her making more money. Successful black men are out there, just not as plentiful as a lot of people seem to believe. I don't think dating a white man some how diminishes the accomplishments of black men.

As for the situation, depending on where he grew up he may be more used to gender equality than some men. Military men can be money since they obtain very valuable skills in the military. Depending upon his assignment and experience, he could end up making a really good salary. I know several Navy vets that are paid really well. But that all depends on his individual circumstances.

I think the best question is how you feel about him and how he makes you feel. If you've never done an IRL by now, you need to be prepare to what that entails. There's a lot of things other than money that you should decide on too. Give it sometime and some thought. If this guy is worth it, you'll know.
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I never understood that sentiment. In the end, ALL men pee and poop the same way. Oy! :sad:
 
Lynnerie said:
So I ended up meeting someone who worked at my job that I had never seen there before.(We initially met online and found out we worked for the same company- Our first time meeting he invited me to his church for a gospel concert.) He's black, a Christian, ambitious, educated, a good father to his daughter, owns his own side business, comes from a family like mine, treats me very well, makes more than me:look:. We met in February 2011 He asked my father for my hand in marriage in August, I picked out my ring in September and we just got engaged this month.

All I can say is don't settle- not even a little bit.
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Congrats on your engagement :)
 
I JUST was talking to a friend about how men dont wait all these years when they are really ready for marriage and see what they want. I personally ahve a year limit, I aint giving you more then a year. He surprised me by agreeing and saying that sometimes it doesnt even take a year....but we havent even met in person yet so...yeah smh, whatever.
 
WOW! This is great for you Lynnerie! Congratulations! I am so happy you did not settle and that you saw all the RED FLAGS you mentioned. You really got me smiling. :D
 
Lynnerie
Wow wow wow! Now that is an update! Such a beautiful and positive one:yep:. I am so happy for you. Congratulations! So glad you got what you want and deserve.
 
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