Would u date a guy that...

if you have tried humectress

  • Total voters
    147
Poohbear said:
...is about to be a father???

I met this wonderful guy that is from the Navy. I have known him since January and finally got to see him this month. He's 23, caramel skin, and has a nice body. He has a certain glow in his eyes and smile that makes me excited as well. http://st1m.longhaircareforum.com/images/smilies/love.gif I have never dated someone that was 3 years older than me. All the other guys I have met or dated were too immature for me; this guy is so mature and wants to do so many fun things with me. He even called me when he was overseas. Then I cringed when he told me that he found out that he was about to be a father in August. http://st1m.longhaircareforum.com/images/smilies/ohwell.gif He had gotten a girl pregnant while he was in the Navy. He said they are just really coo' with each other, nothing more...

Right now, I am not in love or anything and Im not looking for a serious relationship yet just from experience with the last guy I was with who I became very serious with. The guy I met seems like a very fun person to be around. He let me drive his car yesterday too and told me I could drive it when he goes outta town...

I also want to add that I am someone that does not have sex with guys and Im waiting until I am married...

What should I do?
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No and for several reasons.

Why did he have unprotected sex knowing the risks involved (pregnancy and disease wise?).

He is currently still sexually active (fresh from the other relationship).

There is a soul tie with the 'mother'. In addition to the baby-tie

This is FRESH Baby Mama Drama. He is NOT ready for a new relationship.

When this baby is born, he will have to be involved in the baby's and the mother's life. If not, he's not a man if he rejects involvement with his child. There's no way around this wthout the mother with a baby at such a young age.

The 'mother' of his new baby is out for re-connecting with him and/or tightening the connection. This is only natural. They have a baby together and she is not going to want to do this alone...without him.

He HAS to own up to his manhood ... be a man and take responsibility.

He being freshly involved with sex is going to want sex with you.

Unless God, Himself comes down from Heaven and points this man out as the one, (similar to pointing out King David to Samuel), then this man is a sad waste of time and energy.

Get out ... Run, don't stop. Keep going and allow the right man to take up the time in your life.

If this fool says he doesn't want the mother and other 'non-committal' confessions, he is not a man. He made a baby and he needs to take care of his business. He is not ready for YOU.

Granted... there are relationships where the man may be divorced; may have older children, but his past is 'right' and he is ready for a new beginning. This man with a new baby coming is not ready. He is an open wound and you do not deserve the hurts and disappointments pending if you get more involved in his mess.

Poohbear, you have a higher calling. Someone else may want this man, but you are worth far better and more. Runnnnn! Your real Prince awaits you. A Prince who is already cleansed and ready for a real relationship.

I love you precious sister. :kiss: Poohbear, you have a heart of pure love and gold which is why you have compasion towards this man. But again, you deserve better and God has far Better RESERVED just for you. ;)

I know I was 'fussing' a bit but ... ((( big sister hugs ))) no lecture... just love and hugs.
 
SoniT said:
LOL, yeah this thread is from 2004. The baby is 2 or 3 years old now. :D
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Oh Shoot! :lol: I didn't even look at the date of the original post.

Oh well, my answer is for someone else then. Poohbear is no where near 'there' ... ;)
 
No, the man needs to focus on his family. PERIOD.

Some people may not see it that way because he isn't with the mother, but they most certainly are a family. That's where he needs to be, imo.
 
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No, because I am and never will be his #1 priority whereas he will be mine. I understand he needs to be a father and move on. And if he is really trying to date right now, I sort of question the focus on his child and how he plans to accomodate a child as well as a partner with his time (as well as a job I hope).
 
oh pooh... This is no time for him to be dating...He needs to be focusing on having a child and becoming the best father that he can. The same standards apply for a woman as do for a man.. I know right i first had my son i was to busy worrying about diapers to be concerned with dating, and any man worth 2 cents should be the same way whether the relationship worked out or not.... I would keep it moving if i were you
 
What the hell is he doing trying to get something else started when he has a kid on the way? He needs to be focused on his responsibility, not trying to get some tail from you. Better be careful because most nasty messes come from situations we knew about before we got into them.
 
SweetNic_JA said:
Stay away from this man!! I'm sure the baby's mother was just as smitten as you are and I'm sure he was just as charming to her.

Wouldn't touch it with a 100.9 foot pole.
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I totally agree...that was my 1st thought. U seem somewhat naive to peoples intentions like I use to be. I always had feelings that something was slightly off but never had anyone to confide in, or I would overlook peoples faults without realizing that people don't really change all that much and those faults are just the surface of how things will be later on. Another thing that seems suspicious is his trustfulness in you driving his car while he's away...If I think I know what he's thinking (You're a good Christian woman who would never harm his car or cheat on him while driving it...haha!) then he's drawing you near him with possession an that's not good. I really hate to sound negative and you 're a very positive bright woman, so my best advice is to keep an ear open and be a person he can talk to openly so he won't loose that trust in you, therefore you know most of his intentions and how he thinks. The more you express your opinion or be openly honest (and you're not ready to leave the situation alone), the more he will hide from you. I wish the best for you in whatever you choose to do.
:yep:

Woops! Never mind...I read the 1st two pages and started typing away lol! Go head Pooh bear, good for you:grin:
 
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I voted "No". I've known friends who have dated men who have baby's on the way, and it is soooo much drama. If it is a good guy, more than likely he will go to the doctor's appointments and ask your advice on baby clothes and other itmes. It can get a little ackward at times.
 
ms_kenesha said:
Do you want to have fun with a guy who engages in casual sex? Because if the girl who is preggo now he was just "cool with" then he believes in casual sex as well as casual unprotected sex. Now, personally some of my friends who are waiting for marriage to be sexually active wouldn't want to date a guy with these views, but I don't know why you're waiting so that may shape whether or not he's someone you'd want to date.
smile.gif
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I totally agree. How totally sad for the mother of and his child. Just imagine if asked by his child one day, "hey DaD, when did you know you loved my Mom or that she was the one? and his answer was "nah, I didn't....we were just cool"
 
No. If you want to date someone, date someone who doesn't have baggage like that. Especially at 23. It's just not worth it and it's asking for drama. Just think about it, if you get with him, you are also getting with his son and his "Ex".

Save it for later, or never.

But on the other hand, you have to assess how much you really like him, and if his charming qualities that you speak of are really worth dealing with the possible babay mama drama.
 
Why does this thread keep getting bumped up, it is ancient! Lol She has already explained what happened with this guy. They dated for a few months and she moved on. Good for her :)
 
I wouldn't be taking him serious. Just less than 9 months ago he was just serious with someone who is carrying his child and now he is just so ready for another relationship. Sounds suspect. Now if it has been some years down the road and it's obvious that they have broken up for the last time, perhaps he could be taken seriously. But I wouldn't think to take a man serious who has a baby on the way. So you mean to tell me he doesn't take her to the DR? He doesn't plan on seeing his baby being born... Hmm, what if you get pregnant during the course of her pregnancy... :wallbash: Nah.
 
janet said:
What happened with this guy? Does he take care of his child?
Click to expand...
The guy is still alive here in KY, lol! Right now, he's unemployed after being laid off from a rental company he worked for, but he has two little side businesses going (an entertainment group and a cleaning service). And no, he does not take care of his son nor see his son. The baby mama is now happily married to a different guy.

And you know what's crazy... he still occasionally tries to get with me, even knowing that I have a boyfriend now! He'll send me a text out of the blue wanting to see me. The last time he sent me text messages was fairly recent...back early May! I just ignore him. I want NOTHING to do with him. ;)
 
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