The thing is, he doesn't even get to the point of having sex from what i see..he avoids it. Maybe he has a small penis..could be but even men w/ small penis don't shy away from relationships too much.
Oh, i dont' know.
Thanks for the help though. 
Would you date a guy if you thought or knew he was impotent?
- Thread starter Kiadodie
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The thing is, he doesn't even get to the point of having sex from what i see..he avoids it. Maybe he has a small penis..could be but even men w/ small penis don't shy away from relationships too much.
Oh, i dont' know.
Thanks for the help though. 
Creatividual
Well-Known Member
I couldn't do it either. Like another poster said, it's one thing if it happened during a marriage but to start a relationship off that way, ya girl couldn't do it. 
caltron
Well-Known Member
My first guess would be gay before impotent too.[/quote]
Are you serious??? I mean, I'm usually good at detecting gay men..he doesn't seem gay AT ALL to me. I mean, AT ALL. Of course it always can be a possibility. Now my curiousity is killing me. I'm not going to know the truth until he really trusts me.
I know folks claim to have foolproof gaydar, but you really can't know just by looking sometimes. There are some people who really hide it well.
If he's not gay, I would leave him alone anyway, because he would have to have very serious psychological issues not to want to have sex. I've learned over the years not to underestimate the power of the male sex drive.
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
I'm asking because there is this guy that is interested in me. I have a feeling he has a MAJOR insecurity and it's past emotional scars, I think he may be impotent. He has EVERYTHING going on for him but knowing this, I'm not sure if I want to go into a deeper relationship w/ him. I know there is medication out there for this but I'm not sure how severe it is. Again, I'm not 100% sure that this is his problem but all his actions point in that direction.erplexed
Would you date a guy that was impotent? Does anyone know someone that is impotent?
No... I could not do it because I like having sex!
Ms_Delikate
Well-Known Member
Yeah, like a lot of others have said on here already, I would not want to begin a new relationship with a guy if I knew he had this problem, but if I was married to someone who acquired the condition, we'd have to deal with it the best way possible... 4 betta or 4 worse I guess 
.
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MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
Well, he hasnt' really but all the sign are there. He wants to pursue but yet he stops dead in his tracks yet he gives me signs that he wants to. He doesn't have a girlfriend for sure and he's not gay. He's very good looking and yet he doesn't even play around as men usually do (for sex). So when I asked about 3 different men what they thought, they said he has some kind of insecurity...most probably concerning sex. Whether he's impotent or not I don't know but I know that even a man that was hurt emotioinally will still hunt a girl for sex at least. He doesn't do that at all with anyone, he mostly stays to himself.
No, he's not a virgin from what his friend tells me (cause he said he had ONE girlfriend in college). He's a christian but not too religious. I mean, he was a football player in college and only had one girlfriend that his good friend knows of in his whole life. He's 31 for goodness sakes.
Even my brother the most nicest guy loves women & sex.
Well, he did tell me that he's single cause he's scared. But he never said why he was scared. I'm not sure if he was abused or anything. I know of ONE girlfriend but I'm not sure what happened with that.
SERIOUSLY, this sounds JUST LIKE a guy I dated in college!! (I know it's not the same person, though, because the guy I dated didn't play football 
.) He was very attractive, got plenty of attention from the ladies, but ALWAYS found some nonsense reason to break things off with women... something about not wanting to date a girl unless he was sure she was the "one". 
In my case performance and size weren't the issues, emotional baggage was. Based on what you say above, I think fearing impotency is jumping the gun a bit. I wouldn't be surprised if he has an insecurity, but I'd guess that it had more to do with him not wanting to get caught up in drama or not trusting his own judgement than anything else. Men with commitment or confidence issues can avoid the HECK out of women.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Well, he hasnt' really but all the sign are there. He wants to pursue but yet he stops dead in his tracks yet he gives me signs that he wants to. He doesn't have a girlfriend for sure and he's not gay. He's very good looking and yet he doesn't even play around as men usually do (for sex). So when I asked about 3 different men what they thought, they said he has some kind of insecurity...most probably concerning sex. Whether he's impotent or not I don't know but I know that even a man that was hurt emotioinally will still hunt a girl for sex at least. He doesn't do that at all with anyone, he mostly stays to himself.
I'ma take "he got a baby penis" for $200, Alex.
Naw, but seriously. Just ask him what the deal is.
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WOW, thanks for a different perspective.
Yeah, impotency is a bit of a jump..wouldn't of thought it until people suggested it.So..men can really be that afraid that they just avoid women period, huh? Interesting.
erplexedSo, how would you suggest I should deal w/ him then if this is the case? It seems like he wants me to make ALL the moves, he's so scared but I'm an old fashioned girl. I like the man to be the MAN and pursue.
MizAvalon
Well-Known Member
WOW, thanks for a different perspective.
So..men can really be that afraid that they just avoid women period, huh? Interesting.
So, how would you suggest I should deal w/ him then if this is the case? It seems like he wants me to make ALL the moves, he's so scared but I'm an old fashioned girl. I like the man to be the MAN and pursue.
I would just say don't deal with him. He sounds passive and like he has some kind of emotional issues, so unless you think he is really worth it, I wouldn't even bother.
How involved are the two of you? Is he your boyfriend? How long have you been seeing each other?
I've known him for 3/4 years. He's my cousin's real good friend and we see eachother in groups very frequently. Just recently like a month or 2 ago he expressed interest in me which shocked me. I never thought of him in that way, but then when he said something, I was like why not, he's a great guy. I always wondered why a guy like him stayed single.
erplexed I've even tried hooking him up but he backs out. So now, he's acting one minute like he's about to pursue then the next minute backs up. I just dont get it. 
I really like him cause he's a great guy but he has issues that i don't understand. So maybe the best thing is to just leave it alone.
Lylddlebit
Well-Known Member
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Lylddlebit
Well-Known Member
deleted...misread a quote
Much2much41
Well-Known Member
AbsoLUTEly not!!!!
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
Oh, I could tell you some STORIES!!! I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself.WOW, thanks for a different perspective.
So..men can really be that afraid that they just avoid women period, huh? Interesting.
So, how would you suggest I should deal w/ him then if this is the case? It seems like he wants me to make ALL the moves, he's so scared but I'm an old fashioned girl. I like the man to be the MAN and pursue.
As far as this guy goes, I think you should spend your time on someone who is more appealing to you. He might be cute, but if he's rubbing you the wrong way, it's probably not going to be the best situation.
suburbanbushbabe
New Member
No, no, no.
blaqueskimo
New Member
No, he's not a virgin from what his friend tells me (cause he said he had ONE girlfriend in college). He's a christian but not too religious. I mean, he was a football player in college and only had one girlfriend that his good friend knows of in his whole life. He's 31 for goodness sakes.
Even my brother the most nicest guy loves women & sex.
LOL not to be rude but none of what you've said so far is a reason to think this man can't get it up and keep it up!
From what you have said maybe he IS a quite or shy person that was in a relationship that didn't work out? No reason so question if he's impotent just because he's taking his time.
He obviously isn't that shy because he's persuing you right? Or is he NOT persuing you and your wondering why? I don't know color me confused.
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
No absolutely not. Great man or not, intimacy is very important in a relationship. I admittedly dumped a great guy because of issues (not impotence) in the bedroom.
DarlingNikki
Well-Known Member
No, I could not date someone that is impotent.
From what you wrote, does not sound like the relationship has turned serious yet. I'm skeptical about any man willing to divulge his past emotional scars so early on. Get out while you can.
From what you wrote, does not sound like the relationship has turned serious yet. I'm skeptical about any man willing to divulge his past emotional scars so early on. Get out while you can.
Lady S
Well-Known Member
Then maybe he's not the one for you. Apparently, he's got a passive attitude towards intimate relationships, regardless of the reason (maybe he has a freaky fetish?). You can't change that for him, he's got to work it out himself. Assuming nothing's wrong with him, that's just how he is, wouldn't you eventually get tired of being the aggressive one if you prefer men to be the persuers?
As for the original question, I could date a guy who was impotent, but we'd have to absolutely connect emotionally and mentally. And he'd have to be responsible, smart, sane, hard working, etc. I'm not dating an umemployed impotent crackhead.
locabouthair
Well-Known Member
I would but I dont care about sex anyway.
It sounds like this guy has a lot of baggage, so like Miz Avalon said, you'd have to decide if he's worth it.
It sounds like this guy has a lot of baggage, so like Miz Avalon said, you'd have to decide if he's worth it.
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