ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
So while this sounds dumb as hell, don't people recommend looking a potential attacker in the eye? Not add respect, but to scare him off, esp if he's looking for a victim that won't fight back.
Wife School - I Know Ya'll Saw This Yesterday...
- Thread starter Femmefatal1981
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So while this sounds dumb as hell, don't people recommend looking a potential attacker in the eye? Not add respect, but to scare him off, esp if he's looking for a victim that won't fight back.
curlicarib
Lovin'' All of Me
See, I'm an engineer and I suffered some of this when I first moved out on my own. The only way I can explain it is that it's a personality quirk that you can get into the weeds with technical issues, but real life stuff just isn't interesting and will "take care of itself". After about 6 months of living like this, I figured out how to put my life into the perspective of an engineering problem - I made a spreadsheet (yeah, I'm THAT much of a nerd). I made my life into a technical problem that needed to be solved. I'm a bill paying fool now. I get itchy if something is late.
Omg this is actual advice given!? What?! Maybe this is what my mom did? Cuz ish used to get turned off and ish used to leave us due to non payment. When there was no reason for this to happen! And my mom would be looking at my dad like sooo what now? And he'd pay it and itd get turned back on.
But yall. He is STILL like this, to this day! That does not work for everyone. My dad is an engineer and he is the sweetest guy I know and boring and goes to work and comes home. But he does not and will never care about paying bills on time because something may get cut off. Please! Maybe in my mom's dreams! For the entirety of my childhood this ish happened. And dumb ish STILL be happening! I be like howwwww are yall going out to eat every day (literally) and yall got turn off notices by the thousands! Like hello yall car insurance is overdue like 3yrs and yall are taking a vacation where?!
As an adult, me and my dad have joked about paying bills. My dad has said to me that he doesn't like paying bills (rotflllll) and they will get the money when they get it (ahhhhhh!) and that he's just gonna negotiate and pay the minimum dueI mean. I be stunned into silence and laughter! He be buying my mom ****, bills piled tf up!
I've asked my mom: so daddy doesn't care about late fees? Cuz you know, if you pay on time, it's overall cheaper *perplexed af*. She just laughs. Like ***** no I'm serious yall are ****** retarded!!
They be giving me just because money and having their cable shut off!!! Re.tard.ed. Not because they ain't got money. They do! He just don't be feeling like paying!
And my dad is like socially awkward and reclusive. And he is the sole reason I am anti dating engineers. Got all the money and zero financial acumen. Just no. I wouldn't try this with autistic people. It just doesn't work. They don't care for whatever autistic reason and will continue living like this for eternity. I am amazed that this advice is given to any woman in 2016 with all the money and men at her disposal. Insanity.
I am flabbergasted that someone may have given my mom that advice! I hate those people for her!I would NEVER you hear me never sit my ass in the dark waiting for someone to pay a damb bill when I got the money sitting right here. foolishness. Hate me, cheat on me, let's end this cuz that would never work for me. The only person I love that much is myself. bye.
Re let the car run out of gas: that, too! The stupid niccas be driving on EEEEE car be struggling like damn nicca can I get some food?! Dad be like no, you goodI would terrified the car would stop when he'd pick me up from school
When I moved out years ago, my mom was sad that I was leaving and couldn't understand why I was leaving.
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prettybyrd
Well-Known Member
Layluh
Well-Known Member
I've heard this advice many times.
NOEChic
I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
My dads and architect lol, so I totally get it now.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Lord she clowning bonnets
I hate bonnets.
Thank goodness my hair style looks better without being tied down.
Femmefatal1981
Well-Known Member
I dont think I would do it to keep the peace but if i thought it would have him feel like ish...I might consider this as the ultimate in passive aggressiveness. If that was my thing.I'm picturing myself with some candies eating dinner with dh
Trying to be supportive and keeping it cute and peaceful lmaoooooooo
Ummmmmmmm lolol
qchelle
Well-Known Member
Lord she clowning bonnets
I only half way get it. Sleep single (what?) and get a bonnet? Sleep "still and share" (what?!) and make space for a husband? Girl, come on, you could've did a better bonnet meme than that! Is she clowning the actual way she sleeps, too? Lmao.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
Is that the woman whos writing this? Is she calling whatever woman this is a 5? Or is she supposed to be higher?
One of yall who do memes should reach out to her and help a sista out.
That's the terrorist herself.
werenumber2
Well-Known Member
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
The people writing these relationship advice idioms have to be clear about the dynamics women should expect from applying the advice. There's a lot of dykmatized women who will put up with sitting in the dark due to unpaid bills or worse feeling like if they treat this fool like a king he'll get some act right by osmosis.
If you are dealing with a deficient dude then it's going to be an uphill battle to not do a lot of what's on this list. It's easy not to belittle, talk down to or act like you don't need a man who is providing, protecting and problem solving. However, if all he is bringing to the table is dyk, personality or just the bragging rights of having a man then the environment for disrespect is fertile.
Number 8 is the hardest thing in the world for me and it makes number 13 a problem but I keep trying.
If you are dealing with a deficient dude then it's going to be an uphill battle to not do a lot of what's on this list. It's easy not to belittle, talk down to or act like you don't need a man who is providing, protecting and problem solving. However, if all he is bringing to the table is dyk, personality or just the bragging rights of having a man then the environment for disrespect is fertile.
Number 8 is the hardest thing in the world for me and it makes number 13 a problem but I keep trying.
Femmefatal1981
Well-Known Member
as in don't roll around in the bed...see this is what I mean when I say she takes it too far. No bonnet is 1 thing but to sleep still? Huh?
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
I bet the dude on the left salty as hell bout these captions.
Femmefatal1981
Well-Known Member
That's from Key and Peele, lolI bet the dude on the left salty as hell bout these captions.
JerriBlank
Well-Known Member
I tried to explain this to my friend who may not have taken my advice seriously because Im not in her position but she complains about every. single. thing. her husband does. So guess what? At this point, he does nothing. When she gets off from work and home with the kids, he is taking a nap.Now she complains that he does nothing and I always ask myself why he would bother if you are gonna redo it or complain anyway.
Recently, at a birthday party for her son we were getting ready to sing happy birthday to the baby and hubby lit the candle. She marches over to the table, blows it out, and says I didnt say now.
All the guests, including myself, stood there like
No comment on the rest of this garbage
She sounds like a nightmare. I hope he leaves her and she has time to think about what an extra so and so she is.
qchelle
Well-Known Member
The people writing these relationship advice idioms have to be clear about the dynamics women should expect from applying the advice. There's a lot of dykmatized women who will put up with sitting in the dark due to unpaid bills or worse feeling like if they treat this fool like a king he'll get some act right by osmosis.
If you are dealing with a deficient dude then it's going to be an uphill battle to not do a lot of what's on this list. It's easy not to belittle, talk down to or act like you don't need a man who is providing, protecting and problem solving. However, if all he is bringing to the table is dyk, personality or just the bragging rights of having a man then the environment for disrespect is fertile.
Number 8 is the hardest thing in the world for me and it makes number 13 a problem but I keep trying.
This is such a weird list lol and why I don't like the word "emasculate". "Don't belittle him, cuz he's a man and will be emasculated and he needs respect" don't laugh at him, ignore him, embarrass him, belittle him, manipulate him. Because why not? Well because he's a man and you don't want to emasculate him duhhhh. You've gotta be kidding me. He is a mere human being and no human being likes those things happening to them.
If someone, anyone, is constantly doing those things on that list to anyone else they either a) just don't like them all that much or b) lives for drama. Who am I to tell someone who lives for drama (like that lady who went and blew the candles out lmaoooo) to stop? And if you don't like him then of course you're going to be mean to him. Get out, now lol.
If you're with someone you like, be it so parents kid, and you're natural way to be is mean all the time, then you need WHAT @yardyspice ? BINGO. YOU NEED THERAPY. Not memes telling your adult ass to be nice to someone. The hell? Go back to kindergarten do not pass go.
Femmefatal1981
Well-Known Member
you are so rational, lol. Seriously I know people ( who need therapy) who are mean to the people they love because they have abandonment issues and fear rejection. Then they act all confused when it scares off good men. They aren't going to therapy or kindergarten but maybe they will take a hint from a meme. Unfortunately they wont be able to take the wheat and leave the chafe. Why? *que Yardy*
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
This is true.
About the lights getting turned off.
I see her point, but this advice needs to be calibrated to the couple. Some men can't take a hint. Some won't ever change. Those are character traits that need to be considered. But her overall point is to let him feel the consequences of his decisions. I'm not against that. I don't 'save' my man when he does dumb ish. If the lights were to get turned off in here, I'm packing a bag and going to my mother's where I will find both lights and wine. Let me know when ish is back on. Those are the consequences: I remove my presence. No nagging, just action. I expect to be taken care of. If he can't manage it, another one will. Fear is an excellent motivator. 
@qchelle, How does your mother respond when bills ain't paid on time? That will tell us why he keeps letting it happen. If there are no consequences, he has no incentive to change.
This thread had me thinking about black women and education/career. So a woman getting a quality education and having a successful career is a threat to a man's masculinity??? What should women strive for?
It also made me think of all the women who go to college just to get liberal arts degrees that they probably won't be able to do much with...is it because they plan to just marry a man who will take care of them? Do they go to college to truly get an education or to meet a potential future husband??
It also made me think of all the women who go to college just to get liberal arts degrees that they probably won't be able to do much with...is it because they plan to just marry a man who will take care of them? Do they go to college to truly get an education or to meet a potential future husband??
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qchelle
Well-Known Member
This is true.
About the lights getting turned off.
@qchelle, How does your mother respond when bills ain't paid on time? That will tell us why he keeps letting it happen. If there are no consequences, he has no incentive to change.
Uhh I guess she was upset? Idk ive never seen my parents fight or upset at each other really. like silent treatment, raised voices, acting visibly mean to each other, someone left for a period of time, acting mean toward me cuz they mad at each other, being meanly snarky to each other, etc. Idk. I don't think she cares at all now lmaoo. We're going to a wine festival this weekend!
Right right no incentive. Oh no, I don't think anyone is waiting on this 60yr old man to change anything lmao.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
I never really planned on using my degree. I've attempted grad school 3 times, in 3 different fields. I guess I'm indifferent because I don't really care. I went to college to socialize, not get an education.
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qchelle
Well-Known Member
Oh I don't know what you've been told
But this girl right here's gonna rule the world
Yea that is what I'm gonna be
Because I wanna be
No I don't wanna sit still, look pretty.
it's a song
werenumber2
Well-Known Member
There may be just as many loons who think they have to kill you for looking them in the eye because you're more likely to remember their face and ID them in a lineup, so I call it a wash.
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
Uhh I guess she was upset? Idk ive never seen my parents fight or upset at each other really. like silent treatment, raised voices, acting visibly mean to each other, someone left for a period of time, acting mean toward me cuz they mad at each other, being meanly snarky to each other, etc. Idk. I don't think she cares at all now lmaoo. We're going to a wine festival this weekend!
Right right no incentive. Oh no, I don't think anyone is waiting on this 60yr old man to change anything lmao.
Of course not, and it looks like they're managing just fine. No, this is for our general edification. So, do you remember how she used to display her anger (before she decided to just roll with it, lol)? Was it an effective use of force as far as you could tell? Or was it just an initial flare followed by a lingering pissiness?
oneastrocurlie
Well-Known Member
I hope not. Networking and meetups are free.99.
SimplyWhole
Well-Known Member
I would go to her family meeting. She does have some interesting perspectives. http://www.rootsofroyals.com/atlanta-2016-family-meeting/
qchelle
Well-Known Member
So, do you remember how she used to display her anger (before she decided to just roll with it, lol)? Was it an effective use of force as far as you could tell? Or was it just an initial flare followed by a lingering pissiness?
I really don't remember. Maybe it was so horrible I've blocked it out
if not, then it was never anything I noticed enough to remember.Similar threads
