I really struggle with this-I don't know how to just date!!!

[s_terry]

Yeah, I think I plan on slowing the time down quite a bit. It will probably best for the long term. Call me a traditionalist, but the kiddos (although I love them to death) the exes and the child support is just a tad too much. Oh well.................

 

[UmSumayyah]

Bump!
Inquiring minds want the update.

 

[s_terry]

UmSumayyah why you being nosy!


Well ok, so here's the update. We are still seeing one another with quite a bit of time spent. I am enjoying him immensely. He hasn't fallen off or changed and is still as romantic and sweet as always. I have had a different set of exotic flowers just about every week. Beautiful cards just because. Money hasn't been an issue cause he pays for just about everything. He won't let me even when I offer!! He made my B-Day special too. He fixes things, does my laundry for when I travel. Cleans my place better than I ever could. Laughs at me cause I am on the board so much. He looks at the beautiful ladies on here and tell me I should post my pics cause I am the most beautiful woman he has ever meet. Janet Jackson? I'm finer. Beyonce? Doesn't hold a candle! According to him I run circles-yeah right, but it sure is nice to hear!!! Just all around supportive and works to make my life easier. etc etc

I don't know all things considered it's hardly an ideal situation. Lord it's so hard cause I know 10 years ago ain't no way in hell he would have gotten any play. I don't consider it settleling at this point, because I see nothing wrong with having good people around you. Regardless of what they do in life. Good, caring people are hard to find. Right now he is a good thing. The moment that changes I will have no qualms about walking away. You get that strength as you get older I suppose. You know that even if it doesn't work out, you will be ok. You won't loose yourself and know who you are.

He's good people, thanks for asking

 

[Ladyhenri]

Everyone has baggage! Whether it's three children, a psych disorder, bad relationship with mom, etc.

If you think you would be happier with someone who makes more money, well, I have news for you. It always work out like that. This man is treating you like a queen....or a princess. If this isn't a game or the 'impress phase', then that's pretty darn good.

I wouldn't write him off. Continue dating and if you fall in love, you fall in love. What's wrong with that?

This is very true...
Most people at his age have been through life, and as such, will come with their own baggage.

 

[Ladyhenri]

I just read your above post...
He sounds like husband material to me

 

[KathyMay]

UmSumayyah why you being nosy!


Well ok, so here's the update. We are still seeing one another with quite a bit of time spent. I am enjoying him immensely. He hasn't fallen off or changed and is still as romantic and sweet as always. I have had a different set of exotic flowers just about every week. Beautiful cards just because. Money hasn't been an issue cause he pays for just about everything. He won't let me even when I offer!! He made my B-Day special too. He fixes things, does my laundry for when I travel. Cleans my place better than I ever could. Laughs at me cause I am on the board so much. He looks at the beautiful ladies on here and tell me I should post my pics cause I am the most beautiful woman he has ever meet. Janet Jackson? I'm finer. Beyonce? Doesn't hold a candle! According to him I run circles-yeah right, but it sure is nice to hear!!! Just all around supportive and works to make my life easier. etc etc

I don't know all things considered it's hardly an ideal situation. Lord it's so hard cause I know 10 years ago ain't no way in hell he would have gotten any play. I don't consider it settleling at this point, because I see nothing wrong with having good people around you. Regardless of what they do in life. Good, caring people are hard to find. Right now he is a good thing. The moment that changes I will have no qualms about walking away. You get that strength as you get older I suppose. You know that even if it doesn't work out, you will be ok. You won't loose yourself and know who you are.

He's good people, thanks for asking

He sounds like a good man and they are so hard to find. I'm glad that you two are doing fine.

 

[Kiadodie]

I agree with this. You can date and still keep your options open. Sometimes when you have someone it allows you to open yourself to another person. I hope you know what I mean. You just give off a good vibe and more guys are attracted to you.

I truly believe this. You're more happier and content when you're dating and that usually attracts others where as when you are totally single and not dating you feel more than often like your looking or needy..this has been the case with me anyway.

 

[zora]

UmSumayyah why you being nosy!


Well ok, so here's the update. We are still seeing one another with quite a bit of time spent. I am enjoying him immensely. He hasn't fallen off or changed and is still as romantic and sweet as always. I have had a different set of exotic flowers just about every week. Beautiful cards just because. Money hasn't been an issue cause he pays for just about everything. He won't let me even when I offer!! He made my B-Day special too. He fixes things, does my laundry for when I travel. Cleans my place better than I ever could. Laughs at me cause I am on the board so much. He looks at the beautiful ladies on here and tell me I should post my pics cause I am the most beautiful woman he has ever meet. Janet Jackson? I'm finer. Beyonce? Doesn't hold a candle! According to him I run circles-yeah right, but it sure is nice to hear!!! Just all around supportive and works to make my life easier. etc etc

I don't know all things considered it's hardly an ideal situation. Lord it's so hard cause I know 10 years ago ain't no way in hell he would have gotten any play. I don't consider it settleling at this point, because I see nothing wrong with having good people around you. Regardless of what they do in life. Good, caring people are hard to find. Right now he is a good thing. The moment that changes I will have no qualms about walking away. You get that strength as you get older I suppose. You know that even if it doesn't work out, you will be ok. You won't loose yourself and know who you are.

He's good people, thanks for asking

Oooh, Sterry. Don't make me come after you. If you don't end up with this man, pass him my way.

 

[CandiceC]

I just read your above post...
He sounds like husband material to me

I agree.

 

[StLucianSweetie]

Sounds like things are good. Good for you.

 

[Summer_Rain]

UmSumayyah why you being nosy!


Well ok, so here's the update. We are still seeing one another with quite a bit of time spent. I am enjoying him immensely. He hasn't fallen off or changed and is still as romantic and sweet as always. I have had a different set of exotic flowers just about every week. Beautiful cards just because. Money hasn't been an issue cause he pays for just about everything. He won't let me even when I offer!! He made my B-Day special too. He fixes things, does my laundry for when I travel. Cleans my place better than I ever could. Laughs at me cause I am on the board so much. He looks at the beautiful ladies on here and tell me I should post my pics cause I am the most beautiful woman he has ever meet. Janet Jackson? I'm finer. Beyonce? Doesn't hold a candle! According to him I run circles-yeah right, but it sure is nice to hear!!! Just all around supportive and works to make my life easier. etc etc

I don't know all things considered it's hardly an ideal situation. Lord it's so hard cause I know 10 years ago ain't no way in hell he would have gotten any play. I don't consider it settleling at this point, because I see nothing wrong with having good people around you. Regardless of what they do in life. Good, caring people are hard to find. Right now he is a good thing. The moment that changes I will have no qualms about walking away. You get that strength as you get older I suppose. You know that even if it doesn't work out, you will be ok. You won't loose yourself and know who you are.

He's good people, thanks for asking

and just to think, 2.5 months ago you was almost ready to brush the brotha off!! hmph, a maintenance man - let me find out he's the Franklin to your Zora! (Disappearing Acts by Terry McMillan)!

 

[s_terry]

Ya'll are too sweet. I won't lie and say his extenuating circumstances doesn't bother me because they do. All I can say is that we have plenty plenty plenty of time. He's a great guy but I can't start believing that he is the only one out there. We will see what happens. In the meantime, I will enjoy his company as long as we bring out the positive in one another. Thanks Ladies.


SummerRain, I read that book so long ago I don't remember the details. Who were these characters? One of my girlfriends told me that I should watch Daddy's little girl. Now if he ends up owning his own business, and working it then well............ He already told me he can see how much it will take care of me. He just can't understand the rows and rows of beauty hair products!!!

 

[MuseofTroy]

Hmmm this is a tricky situation. I think you need to be honest with yourself and think about what kind of lifestyle you want to have with this man. He seems like a really nice guy but we have to deal with reality. I would take the following issues into consideration.

• If you end up marrying this man, are you willing to deal with the children from his previous relationship?
• Be aware that if you do marry this man, there is a possibility that they can take child support payments out of your check in the event that something happens with his job. In addition the ex can request more child support since there are now two incomes
• Since you seem to want biological children of your own, I would verify if this man wants more children.
• Take lifestyle into consideration, you seem very career driven, would having a child at this point slow that down? Will this man be supportive of your career ambitions?
• Do his views and morals align with yours?
• Have you met his family and what is this man’s history?

Other than that I hope it all works out in your favor. Don’t compromise your happiness as a result of fear. One of my aunt’s didn’t get married until she was 40 to an amazing man. They have a great life together. I would go ahead and date several men at once if you have the time to see what is out there. Attend professional events and take on hobbies like golf or go to sporting events.