Ro is offering a class on Submission. What I notice is that most of the classes are really the same ole recycled information just organized for a new class. So this is not exactly from her but she already touched on what is masculine respect. Now she has added three levels to respect. It includes general respect, masculine respect, and then SUBMISSION. (Which is also the name of her new perfume). Please feel free to add insight to this so I can update
The Three Levels of Respect
General Respect
(This respect you show to everyone period.)
This involves being very compassionate towards others. Compassion is very much needed. It helps up become very conscious and meets our needs of having self-realization and authentic living. Tips to have compassion and show general respect include:
Listen
I know it sounds easy, but listening–truly listening–not responding but listening- can be one of the hardest skills to master. If you want a person to know you respect him or her, then tune into what that person is saying. Look them in the eye, put down your cell phone, and repeat what they have said to show that you are listening. IF THEY ASK FOR IT offer feedback but if not they just wanna vent. Everyone appreciates the person who willing listens to them and shows genuine interest in what they have to say.
Encourage
If you’ve ever had a bad day, then you know the power a little encouragement can have. We’ve all had moments when we need someone to tell us, “don’t worry, things will work out.” It might not seem like much at the time, but that person will remember that you took the time and interest in their feelings and well-being. A smile and uplifting word can truly brighten someone’s day.
Congratulate
If someone does a great job, let them know about it. In fact, let everyone know about it. Openly congratulate someone for a job well done, especially if you’re a manager. Employees will work harder and happier knowing their manager has a mutual respect for them and is willing to express praise and gratitude when it’s deserved.
Be Helpful
If you find a friend or coworker in a jam, be willing to help them if at possible. Not to say you should take on half their project, but offering some advice or throwing in a bit of your time will mean a lot. If that friend or coworker has helped you in the past, then returning the favor will be a nice way to show both your respect and gratitude.
Say Thank You
I’m sure this one seems like common sense, but many people just forget to say thank you or at least forget how to say it with sincerity. A thank you can be as small as two words or as much as buying someone a gift; nevertheless, if the action is not done with 100% sincerity then it is wasted. Make sure people know you appreciate them and their actions. Simply saying it in front of someone else can make a big impact.
Masculine Respect
(This respect you show all males. This goes for male children as well. You have to start them off young through your interactions with him. Teach him how to expect masculine respect from all women.) There are 14 rules to live by.
1. Never belittle your man.
2. Never talk down to him.
3. Never ignore him.
4. Never let him feel replaceable.
5. Never play down your need for him.
6. Never cause him to feel embarrassed.
7. Never look away or text while he's talking.
8. Never manipulate him.
9. Never boss him.
10. Never laugh at his mistakes or faults.
11. Never put any person before him.
12. Never be too busy for him.
13. Never be inconsiderate of his feelings.
14. Never tell his business.
Submission
(This is the deep level of respect that is ONLY reserved for husbands and soon to be husbands (fiancé)
Some people stray away from submission because it reminds them of being a slave. Becomes of this before I get into submission let's talk about the misconceptions. What Submission is NOT:
- Blind obedience to 100% of everything the husband demands
- The loss of the wife’s own will
- The right for the husband to demand submission
- That the wife is less significant than her husband
- That all decisions must be made by the husband
- Some things are made in the feminine zone such as cleaning decisions, organization, how the children will dress and look, academic choices. Some choices the husband should trust his wife enough to do.
- The husband is smarter, wiser or in some way superior
- The wife must do things that violate her conscience if her husband requests it
Now as far as tidbits in showing your husband the utmost respect and love:
1. Pay respect in everything you do. This includes your appearance, voice, attitude, words, and nurturing skills. Look good. Talk in a sing-song voice. Use pleasant words and do not use profanity. Be a high level nurturer.
2. Men are very visual creatures. Have a plan to keep your weight in check. Create a weight range of 5 pounds and have a plan to not go over this. Run, walk, lift small weights, crunches, there are many FREE ways to lose weight. Don’t make excuses…. drop the extra weight and keep your weight in check.
3. Have sex with him often. Men NEED sex. Be fun, light, free, and into sex. Have sex with him every 1-2 days. This increases his testosterone.
4. Serve your date, fiancé, or husband at all times. Even at a restaurant.
@Supervixen can you chime in on how to serve your husband at a restaurant. I don't feel comfortable on doing this. It sounds silly to me. So I'm assuming when the waiter comes out..(see in my head they remember who ordered what) You reach out when they have the husband's meals and take it from the waiter's hands. You then give your husband his plate. Use
@Zaynab trick and put his napkin in his lap sexy, kiss him, and smile, and you place his silverware for him and smile again. Then you proceed to eat your food.
5. In public show public affection, a lot. Hug him. Stroke his back. Kiss him. Smile at your significant other. This in turn greatly increases or decreases the man’s level of respect from others.
6. Don’t require him to do feminine duties: cooking, cleaning, tending to children, time management, keeping the peace in the house, and etc. This is your job. This is why it is important you don’t work a typical full time job.
7. Telling your man where something is instead of just taking a moment to go and get it disrespects him. He deserves this honor. He pays all of the bills in the house, protects and provides for you, adores you with plenty of love and attention. He DESERVES your respect by you taking a few minutes out of your day to help him.
8. When he or any man walks into a room…do NOT ignore him. Stop whatever you are doing and ask a simple question: Is there anything I can get for you? Is there anything you need?
9. If your man ever makes a mistake, turn your head the other way. You didn’t see it. To laugh when he makes a mistake hurts him DEEPLY.
10. Your husband comes first. Talking/texting/playing on the phone/laptop when your husband is in bed with you or is in the room with you (ignoring him for extended amounts of time) hurts him deeply. I have it bad about this. I LOVE my phone and laptop more than life itself haha. Now I note about what time my husband comes home. As soon as he steps in the door I get off the phone, turn my laptop off, and spend all of my time with him. I get back online in our down time or when he is sleep, but when he is awake I spend all time with him.
11. Refer to your husband in endearing words like my husband, my honey bunches of oats, my love, and etc. Don’t be talking about HE MAKES ME SICK…(first of all if he does the public should not know this and if it is a trusted friend…use an endearing word to show your endearment and respect to him).
12. Go to your husband. Never holler his name. This is LAZINESS. Walk up to him if YOU need HIM. It may be inconvenient but you are a. yelling at him which is disrespectful b. reducing the amount of peace in the house by yelling. C. Being lazy. When I was a new wife I used to do this. Especially with the baby. I take baths with the baby, so often I would ask DH to come get DS. It would go like this *yell* DH! DH! DH! lol. I would always be met with dead silence. So instead, I would yell his name again. Afterwards I would say…did you hear me? He would say, Yeah I heard you. I would be like…. Well why didn’t you answer? He never would answer. I now know because he felt disrespected. HOWEVER, I still didn’t get it. I understand in times of DIRE EMERGENCY you may have to yell his name. But this will be so far and few in between and your voice will be different that he will definitely know that it’s something wrong. Don’t yell your husband’s name to come into the same room as you. Go to him.
13. Turning off a light he is using too is inconsiderate of his feelings. Ask instead. Honey, do you think it is better to turn off the light or keep it on?
14. Do not ever believe that your goals and your choices are superior to his. His goals come first. Do not undermine him or his leadership.
15. If he asks you not to go to the grocery store\ at night, I understand that you may think there is no harm in this, but he is trying to protect you. Let him be a man and do this. “My husband is always right” is a principle to keep in mind here.
16. Let’s say that you decided to buy a new Christmas tree and he says that you don’t truly NEED a Christmas tree at this time. Do not undermine his authority. Let it go. Is a Christmas tree really more important than your marriage? Respect him through showing financial respect and let it go.
17. Serve your husband all his meals and drinks. Meals are served with two hands on the plate. Drinks are served with a napkin and all of this is done happily.
18. Never TELL your husband what to do. Instead ask EVERYTHING and insert PLEASE
19. Ask for permission to do some things. Even if it is silly. Get him in the mode of thinking he is the sole leader even if he is not.
- § Honey, do you think it is best that we close the door or keep it open?
- § Honey, is it okay if I turn off the light, please?
- § What time would you like to discuss DS’s behavior please?
- § Baby can you please lower your voice when talking to me?
20. Be able to take heed to his instructions without saying WHY as to incite an argument. Examples: Let's say he asked you to close the window. Don't be so ready to say WHY. Just close the window. AFTERWARDS you may ask why in a sing-song voice if it is important. His answer should not lead to arguement.
21. Never put another man in front of him:
- § This means putting religious views and religious men in front of him. Your pastor does not come before him.
- § Showing higher respect on FB for other men than your husband. Your friends do not come before him.
- § Thinking your boss’s word is more important than his. If you husband asks you to take of work or do something...his word is over your boss.
- § Showing higher respect to other women. Your girlfriends words are not over your husband's wishes.
- § Thinking that sex, children, and a sweet voice will keep a man.
22. Be graceful with your words! Don’t tell him what to do, instead inspire it.
23. Refrain from helping your man “come up”. Don't lend him money or pay for things. He will not adore this behavior. He will throw it in your face that you did not do enough when you do. Do NOT coddle a man. Love and respect him but don’t allow him to make you a man. Let him stay in this position. Remember men learn through struggle...not your babying.
24. Refrain from spitefulness
25. Don’t ever YELL period. Don’t YELL at your man, children, or anyone. This shows you are not in control of your emotions.
26. Cutting people off when they are speaking, interrupting others, asserting your opinion when no one asked you, selective listening, and off putting body language are all disrespectful
27. Disrespect is EMASCULATING and unknowingly these behaviors ruin his love for you as well as his self-esteem, happiness, and loyalty.
28. Keep in mind men deserve RESPECT not worshipping.
29. I understand that some of these things are just plain extra. However, it is a great difference “extra makes”. This difference is ESSENTIAL for generational greatness and legacy that you are striving to create for your children.
