Wife School - I Know Ya'll Saw This Yesterday...

[Zuleika]

School districts is subjective. Many men don't see the importance or even know what is a quality school.

I completely and thoroughly disagree with this.

Playset. Many men would say this is unnecessary of a purchase. $800 on a playset? Naww we can take them to the park. We could use this on something else. However, if you shift his thinking to how it will benefit him (more sleep and peace) a man will more likely buy in and then brag to his boys about how he came up with it later.

I would question your statement that men will not value a playset (for instance) in the same way you would. It is, in my mind, bizarre for a man to be unable to see the value of a purchase without it being couched in selfish benefits.

If a playset is truly needed, then why isn't he able to see this? If he needs it explaining then, ok; but why does that explanation miss the actual purpose that you his wife and equal identified?

I guess my point was that as equal partners in a relationship (yes that means stay at home wives/mums too!) we should be able to negotiate from a postiion of power and influence. Your opinion should be valid because you are an intelligent and wise person. The situation that is being repeatedly described (by Ro/wife school) is a voluntary introduction of second rate citizenship.

There seems to be some overt misogyny here from the husbands, and some of the same, discretely, from the wives. Why is it that a man should consider himself more capable of making decisions than a woman? If that is your decision, I question it but I won't argue it. Why, however, is a woman not considered capable of making decisions at all? Why must she trick her man into the right course of action?

It sounds to me that these relationships are the wrong way round. The intelligent woman should be leading and the husband should be carrying out her orders (purple font).

I don't understand, and possibly never will, why a woman would make herself appear "less than" in her marriage. This should be a safe space for her to exercise herself as a human without the societal nonsense surrounding her.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Lol yall know that meme is going around saying who eats first? Your husband or your child? Of course most of America says that the children should come first and if I fix his plate who is going to fix mine? Lol. I like this clapback...honest and true

"Most of the people who say the children should eat before the Husband don’t even eat at the table OR as a family."

True because does it even matter? When I "serve my husband his plate" my child gets his plate seconds later and we're all sitting around the same table so it's like instantaneously *shrugs* does it even really matter that DH gets his plate 30 seconds before DS. Cmon son.

 

[PrissiSippi]

A little Certified Wife humor:

If your wife’s seasoning cabinet ONLY has Lowry’s and black pepper you either:
A. Need a new wife
B. Need to be a better husband

Soooo how are y’all doing? How many people are interested in the idea of starting that Wife School Challenge. I’ll make a new thread for tomorrow

 

[PrissiSippi]

Who are the wild animals?


1. They think it's acceptable to have wild sex each week, with whomever, however.
2. They want to ignore nature & control EVERYONE'S procreation with contraception.
3. They want to limit EVERYONES children, due to each one being a liability....though the claim is that slavery is over.
4. They want to conquer us, to gain wealth & prosperity....as if we are their children.
5. They want us to forget about marriage, it's not for us.
6. In the African way, sex is after marriage.
7. In the African way, children are after marriage.
8. In the African way, MARRIAGE & children are prosperity, wealth, family protection, and generational success. The more, the stronger.
9. Africans don't try to conquer anyone but ourselves for this success...our power is within our families.
10. The African is right, unless they try to make this African model work within a non African system.
-knowledge compliments of Ro Élori Cutno

 

[Southernbella.]

Lol yall know that meme is going around saying who eats first? Your husband or your child? Of course most of America says that the children should come first and if I fix his plate who is going to fix mine? Lol. I like this clapback...honest and true

"Most of the people who say the children should eat before the Husband don’t even eat at the table OR as a family."

True because does it even matter? When I "serve my husband his plate" my child gets his plate seconds later and we're all sitting around the same table so it's like instantaneously *shrugs* does it even really matter that DH gets his plate 30 seconds before DS. Cmon son.

One could also argue that a man who insists on eating before his children, especially small children, is insecure and not a true provider.

 

[Southernbella.]

I completely and thoroughly disagree with this.



I would question your statement that men will not value a playset (for instance) in the same way you would. It is, in my mind, bizarre for a man to be unable to see the value of a purchase without it being couched in selfish benefits.

If a playset is truly needed, then why isn't he able to see this? If he needs it explaining then, ok; but why does that explanation miss the actual purpose that you his wife and equal identified?

I guess my point was that as equal partners in a relationship (yes that means stay at home wives/mums too!) we should be able to negotiate from a postiion of power and influence. Your opinion should be valid because you are an intelligent and wise person. The situation that is being repeatedly described (by Ro/wife school) is a voluntary introduction of second rate citizenship.

There seems to be some overt misogyny here from the husbands, and some of the same, discretely, from the wives. Why is it that a man should consider himself more capable of making decisions than a woman? If that is your decision, I question it but I won't argue it. Why, however, is a woman not considered capable of making decisions at all? Why must she trick her man into the right course of action?

It sounds to me that these relationships are the wrong way round. The intelligent woman should be leading and the husband should be carrying out her orders (purple font).

I don't understand, and possibly never will, why a woman would make herself appear "less than" in her marriage. This should be a safe space for her to exercise herself as a human without the societal nonsense surrounding her.

And I also agree with this. I couldn't be married to a man who has to be convinced to buy things for his children, especially girl children.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Lol yall know that meme is going around saying who eats first? Your husband or your child? Of course most of America says that the children should come first and if I fix his plate who is going to fix mine? Lol. I like this clapback...honest and true

"Most of the people who say the children should eat before the Husband don’t even eat at the table OR as a family."

True because does it even matter? When I "serve my husband his plate" my child gets his plate seconds later and we're all sitting around the same table so it's like instantaneously *shrugs* does it even really matter that DH gets his plate 30 seconds before DS. Cmon son.

Dh doesn’t touch his food until I have mine and am seated. Regardless of where we eat.

 

[Southernbella.]

I know being married to a black man in America requires a certain degree of submission and building him up but a lot of what this woman is advocating is extreme imo. I'm sorry but it sounds like a lot of work for little reward. And it's obvious she doesn't see herself as a prize and I just can't get with that.

Eat the meat and spit out the bones, but there are a lot of bones here so be careful.

 

[Supervixen]

Lol yall know that meme is going around saying who eats first? Your husband or your child? Of course most of America says that the children should come first and if I fix his plate who is going to fix mine? Lol. I like this clapback...honest and true

"Most of the people who say the children should eat before the Husband don’t even eat at the table OR as a family."

True because does it even matter? When I "serve my husband his plate" my child gets his plate seconds later and we're all sitting around the same table so it's like instantaneously *shrugs* does it even really matter that DH gets his plate 30 seconds before DS. Cmon son.

Ro brands her CW crew as top level nuturerers. "Earth Angels" I believe is her quote. So she has to makes sure CW women move differently than most wives/women. The arguments here about why children should eat first add back to her purpose--if the masses agree with her methods, it takes away the novelty of what she does for men.

 

[thetall1]

I know being married to a black man in America requires a certain degree of submission and building him up but a lot of what this woman is advocating is extreme imo. I'm sorry but it sounds like a lot of work for little reward. And it's obvious she doesn't see herself as a prize and I just can't get with that.

Eat the meat and spit out the bones, but there are a lot of bones here so be careful.

I agree with you 100% on this. Some of the things she's advocating is a bit extreme IMHO. However, I am interested in a thread of "our own" wife duty/school for this board. I think this would be very beneficial.

 

[thetall1]

A little Certified Wife humor:

If your wife’s seasoning cabinet ONLY has Lowry’s and black pepper you either:
A. Need a new wife
B. Need to be a better husband

Soooo how are y’all doing? How many people are interested in the idea of starting that Wife School Challenge. I’ll make a new thread for tomorrow

I'm still interested in our own version. I can't get with Ro 100%.

 

[PrissiSippi]

What’s a good name for the challenge?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Ro brands her CW crew as top level nuturerers. "Earth Angels" I believe is her quote. So she has to makes sure CW women move differently than most wives/women. The arguments here about why children should eat first add back to her purpose--if the masses agree with her methods, it takes away the novelty of what she does for men.

I think you’re on to something right there. I do think she seeks the extreme to set her and the other certified wives from the “norm”. Most of the times it’s littke gestures that in my head take no extra time for me to do so I don’t mind at all. (Cooking each day or fixing my husband’s plate first). And I’ve seen a big shift of energy from doing this. But yeah a lot of it is very extra.

 

[Froreal3]

I like some of these things/rules, but how do a lot of these things apply to working women?

 

[PrissiSippi]

I like some of these things/rules, but how do a lot of these things apply to working women?

Girl I would take what I needed and work towards the things that I would like in the future. I would start small like eating as a family or cooking fresh versus canned/frozen. Slowly I started adding more things such as more dresses, polishing my femininity, reducing cursing, being more present, and etc. Please join us in our femininity challenge. Just come up with some feminine goals you would like to do and meet us over there!

 

[Froreal3]

Girl I would take what I needed and work towards the things that I would like in the future. I would start small like eating as a family or cooking fresh versus canned/frozen. Slowly I started adding more things such as more dresses, polishing my femininity, reducing cursing, being more present, and etc. Please join us in our femininity challenge. Just come up with some feminine goals you would like to do and meet us over there!

Hmm. I may join/lurk in the challenge then, because half of what she's saying sounds unattainable...because why is the onus always on the woman? Men need to step it up too in a lot of ways. I've read various books and teaching etc. as well and agree with many of it (like not frog farming etc.) but some of this is extra and very off-putting. I will like you said, take what I need though.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Hmm. I may join/lurk in the challenge then, because half of what she's saying sounds unattainable...because why is the onus always on the woman? Men need to step it up too in a lot of ways. I've read various books and teaching etc. as well and agree with many of it (like not frog farming etc.) but some of this is extra and very off-putting. I will like you said, take what I need though.

lol I understand. What is it that you feel that you could step it up on and how do you think you would go by this?

 

[Froreal3]

lol I understand. What is it that you feel that you could step it up on and how do you think you would go by this?

Probably cooking. I can’t cook so yeah...and I’m always tired when I get home. I did step up with keeping the house clean and I make sure I remind him because ishtt tends to go unnoticed unless I say it loud and clear (not necessarily with him but with ppl in general). I learned to toot my own horn.

I’m good with looking cute. Even on my worse day, he thinks I look good. I put decent effort into how I look.

I probably also need to work on making sure I am not texting or on my computer when he talks. The problem is that I already be on it and he starts talking...and he talks a lot (funny he’s not a talker with other ppl, just me) so I have to make a huge effort to put what I was doing down. He’s complained about that before.

 

[TracyNicole]

I like some of these things/rules, but how do a lot of these things apply to working women?

You would be surprised how much you can get done as a working woman. I hear some people's concerns about the burden being on women, however I will say that I started on this journey four years ago because I was exhausted and today I am less so. I have found that the more I have loved on my husband through acts of service (a big part of what Ro suggests) he has looked for ways to make life easier/more pleasant for me. I started off with Melina Dean (Feminine Belle) and Alison Armstrong (Queen's Code) and saw some slight improvements but honestly, the big changes in my home life came with the teachings I found most extreme such as those from Cynthia Berenger (A Fascinating Companion) and Ro Elori Cutno (Wife School). So the long and short of it is that the burden is often on women to take up the charge and lead the way to change but that is not the same as doing all the heavy lifting. I hope that makes sense

 

[Froreal3]

You would be surprised how much you can get done as a working woman. I hear some people's concerns about the burden being on women, however I will say that I started on this journey four years ago because I was exhausted and today I am less so. I have found that the more I have loved on my husband through acts of service (a big part of what Ro suggests) he has looked for ways to make life easier/more pleasant for me. I started off with Melina Dean (Feminine Belle) and Alison Armstrong (Queen's Code) and saw some slight improvements but honestly, the big changes in my home life came with the teachings I found most extreme such as those from Cynthia Berenger (A Fascinating Companion) and Ro Elori Cutno (Wife School). So the long and short of it is that the burden is often on women to take up the charge and lead the way to change but that is not the same as doing all the heavy lifting. I hope that makes sense

Yes, I will try this. My partner is already better than most men with a lot. Trust me, I would know...been married and divorced. I would like to see if any of this helps more though. Just seems like a lot of freakin work.

What have you been able to accomplish as a working woman and what improvements have you seen in him as a result?

 

[sarumoki]

You would be surprised how much you can get done as a working woman. I hear some people's concerns about the burden being on women, however I will say that I started on this journey four years ago because I was exhausted and today I am less so. I have found that the more I have loved on my husband through acts of service (a big part of what Ro suggests) he has looked for ways to make life easier/more pleasant for me. I started off with Melina Dean (Feminine Belle) and Alison Armstrong (Queen's Code) and saw some slight improvements but honestly, the big changes in my home life came with the teachings I found most extreme such as those from Cynthia Berenger (A Fascinating Companion) and Ro Elori Cutno (Wife School). So the long and short of it is that the burden is often on women to take up the charge and lead the way to change but that is not the same as doing all the heavy lifting. I hope that makes sense

I think I remember some of your posts from the sensuality thread. Good to know that you've been able to keep up the changes you've made, and that they've had a positive effect.

 

[PrissiSippi]

This ties into what we were taking about earlier about who is served first and why. I personally do it because it’s a very very small gesture (just like DH opening my doors) but to me it speaks very loudly about the love and compassion you have for the person you made vows with and show him respect for providing the food that you all are about to eat.

Question:
Why should the man get his plate served before the children?
Answer:
1. The whole family needs to know that the marriage is there to cradle the family.
2. Feeding a husband first is a ceremony, and is masculine communication for, “Thank you for providing this food”.
3. If he’s not yet providing everything, it’s encouragement & reminder to do so.
4. Also, feeding a husband first is naming who the leader / king is.
5. If children eat first, you’re literally (and deeply) teaching them that marriage and the role of the father is unimportant.
6. When the wife’s car door is opened, as the children wait for her to be secured first, this is the feminine version of the serving first rule.
WIFE SCHOOL IS EVERYTHING. RootsOfRoyals. com

 

[PrissiSippi]

You would be surprised how much you can get done as a working woman. I hear some people's concerns about the burden being on women, however I will say that I started on this journey four years ago because I was exhausted and today I am less so. I have found that the more I have loved on my husband through acts of service (a big part of what Ro suggests) he has looked for ways to make life easier/more pleasant for me. I started off with Melina Dean (Feminine Belle) and Alison Armstrong (Queen's Code) and saw some slight improvements but honestly, the big changes in my home life came with the teachings I found most extreme such as those from Cynthia Berenger (A Fascinating Companion) and Ro Elori Cutno (Wife School). So the long and short of it is that the burden is often on women to take up the charge and lead the way to change but that is not the same as doing all the heavy lifting. I hope that makes sense

I can I find more on the Cynthia lady? Does she have any excerpts?

 

[TracyNicole]

@PrissiSippi Here is her blog: http://lifeasafascinatingwoman.blogspot.com/
Having gone through her material as well as Ro's, they advocate much of the same ideas based on Fascinating Womanhood. I like Ro's pro blackness but Cynthia's is super organized and a bit more palatable.

 

[Kimbosheart]

I always like fascinating womanhood because it seems like she was teaching you to work smarter not harder. You’ll have to change some of your tactics but if they work to get you to the home life you want then the changes aren’t a big deal and aren’t bad for you or demeaning. And the author never demeans her readers/followers.

I feel like Ro’s work could be the same but she uses bully tactics and does demean her followers and alienates people. You can still chew the meat and spit the bones but I find Ros method to be more aggressive and masculine ironically.

 

[TracyNicole]

I always like fascinating womanhood because it seems like she was teaching you to work smarter not harder. You’ll have to change some of your tactics but if they work to get you to the home life you want then the changes aren’t a big deal and aren’t bad for you or demeaning. And the author never demeans her readers/followers.

I feel like Ro’s work could be the same but she uses bully tactics and does demean her followers and alienates people. You can still chew the meat and spit the bones but I find Ros method to be more aggressive and masculine ironically.

Wow. You know that’s exactly what it is! Sometimes I felt like Ro was berating me but I never got that sense from Cynthia. Anyways, no matter whom you decide to study with, the foundational principles are the same and I think reading the book is a must. Also, if anyone thinking about taking a course Cynthia’s Course is $40 DIY and $110 with mentoring...

 

[thetall1]

Thanks for the additional information ladies, I appreciate it. I definitely will check out Cynthia's course.

 

[TracyNicole]

Thanks for the additional information ladies, I appreciate it. I definitely will check out Cynthia's course.

Hi there. If you don’t actually want to listen to her audio files you can actually buy just the guide on Etsy for $20. Most of this information is he same. It all boils down to the “teacher/coaches” interpretation of the Fascinating Womanhood book. I’d already spent quite a bit before I finally realized that!

 

[Supervixen]

I'm going to check out Cynthia. I've joined a FW group and am taking classes with the daughter of Helen Andelin. So Cynthia is just one of the FW teachers?

 

[TracyNicole]

I'm going to check out Cynthia. I've joined a FW group and am taking classes with the daughter of Helen Andelin. So Cynthia is just one of the FW teachers?

She teaches a curriculum based on FW but is not a teacher. There is some point of disagreement between her and Dixie Forsyth ( Helen Andelin’s daughter) but she never came out and said what exactly caused her to stop being an official teacher.