Wife School - I Know Ya'll Saw This Yesterday...

Y'all let's come up with a draft family contract. I started and said I agree to provide a safe and clean home for you until 25 or marriage. What else? What's terms to get said inheritance?
Some of my requirements would be

-Doing well in school, or should they decide not to go to college, to enter the workforce. For example, enlisting in the military or joining the police force (which actually does require at least 60 credits where I live).
-Staying out of trouble with the law
-Showing fiscal responsibility and not accruing a lot of unnecessary debt.
 
Y'all let's come up with a draft family contract. I started and said I agree to provide a safe and clean home for you until 25 or marriage. What else? What's terms to get said inheritance?

I'm in. Unknown expectations of people has proven time and time again to be problematic for me.

Shall we hash this out via DM? And post our final draft?
 
Some of my requirements would be

-Doing well in school, or should they decide not to go to college, to enter the workforce. For example, enlisting in the military or joining the police force (which actually does require at least 60 credits where I live).
-Staying out of trouble with the law
-Showing fiscal responsibility and not accruing a lot of unnecessary debt.
I like all of these! Lemme google some more to get more ideas.
 
As your parents, we agree to:

• I will provide you safe and clean housing, nutritious food, and clothing
• I will make myself available to you and spend quality time with you every week (help me reword this one)
• I will provide a comfortable, safe, & mutually respectful place to talk honestly
• I will love you for who you are and encourage you to become your best
• I will hold you accountable for the choices you make, ensuring that you experience the wonderful privileges and unfortunate consequences that go with each

_____________ (signature) As your parent, I commit to this agreement and more importantly to you. I promise to help you in ways that will empower you to become an independent healthy young adult.

As your child, I agree to:
• Do well in school by maintaining an overall B average at all times.
• Should I decide not to go to college, I agree to obtain a trade/enter the workforce. For example, enlisting in the military, or joining the police force.
• Be respectful and positively represent our family name at all times.
• Stay out of trouble with the law.
• Show fiscal responsibility and not accrue an abundance of unnecessary debt.
• Make a commitment to sexual responsibility and make careful sexual decisions to ensure no children are born before marriage.

Our family strongly believes in marriage to promote generational wealth and personal development (or something like this...lemme reword). Upon marriage (haha to a young lady...yall I want to specify. I'm like Don't try to scheme me out of my money. I want a grandkid one day boy!) for a year, you will be given an inheritance of (insert monetary value here). This money is to help you to build generational wealth for your newly developed family and invest this money to create a long-lasting wealth strategy.

_____________ (signature) I commit to this agreement and will be accountable for my choices. I promise to respect you and honor our relationship.
 
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I loooooooove this one! Too many people post all of their business on social media.
Good point I can see how social media ties into this point. I didn't write it thinking of that though but you are completely correct. I hate to see my past students overshare or be so sexual and just uncouth on their social media pages. I've made these same mistakes as a college student.
 
These are tidbits from mentors that are pretty active on many of the Facebook groups I frequent. These aren't directly from Ro but are Ro's teachings.

68. Create a list of boyish chores for little boys. They should reinforce his need to protect and provide for his family. Some boy chores are:
Cut the grass/trim hedges
Checking all smoke detectors for dead batteries (protection)
Killing spiders or bugs
Changing light bulbs
Plunging if capable
And less indoor chores.
His wife will thank you later.
69. Create girl chores for little girls. They should reinforce the need to nurture their home. (These are my ideas) but this includes:
Giving them some money and letting them pick out things to make their room look very good and organized.
Teaching them to clean very detailed and thoroughly
Teaching them to plan and cook healthy appropriate meals
Laundry
Etc.
70. Don't rob children of their innocence but answer their questions. If they ask you a specific questions about sex...answer that question and that question only. If they ask another question answer that question and stop. If they are old enough to ask the question they are old enohhh to get a age appropriate honest answer.
71. Don't spank kids. Redirect them. Have the expectation that they should respect each member of the family and have compassion for their feelings. If they misbehave...remove them from the family temporarily. This means taking them outside with you (if they're really young) or asking them to go to the next room until they can regain their composure and act right to belong to the family again.
72. Let's say your man doesn't do something that you feel is important like secure the house before you all go to bed by locking doors or refusing to walk on the outside so you are protected or not opening your doors, or forgetting to do xyz. This is often because he wasn't not taught by a man to do this. Instead of busting out "YOU STUPID. YOU ARE JUST LIKE ANOTHER CHILD. I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE SO DUMB TO NOT KNOW TO DO...." attach your feelings with a name. Give him respect. So, when my husband goes to bed and doesn't lock the doors and I wake up to pump and see the door not locked, I say babe I felt unsafe when I woke up and the doors were not locked. I felt unloved when you forgot to do something special for my birthday. I felt forgotten and unsafe when you forgot to pick me up from xyz. If he loves you and wants you to feel safe/loved/secure, he will associate his choices with your feelings and not want to make his love feel unsafe or insecure.
73. Only YOU can mother your child. Not their father, grandfather, teacher, or mentor.You are the person who most greatly affects who they become. No one else.
74. Be available to your child. Play with them.
75. Children need to be corrected about every five minutes.
76. Eating is essential: body, mind, and spirit.
77. Sleep is essential. Women need at least 8 hours nightly.

I'll add a little more.
 
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I took her class and it's helped my marriage but it was generally a reminder of what my grandmother taught us. My husband is already a good, generous man but we were having issues. After we reviewed all of the info together, we chose what worked for us and left the rest.
1. I work part time and online so I handle the home and my expenses.
2. He, as always, pays all the bills, investments and savings.
3. I invested in a rental property so I could have passive income. He handles the maintenance.
4. We treat each other much, much, MUCH nicer. That was the biggest issue for us.


There's PLENTY I don't agree with in RoR, but I can't say it's worthless.
Heyyy! Came you pop back in and Chime in to some stuff that you are doing that really made a difference in your relationship? I'm seeking to learn but I am waiting to join the mentorship until I have gone further in the process. One thing I'm having a problem is is feminine mystique. I know instead of getting mad a wife should get sad. I feel so unloved because of how you did yada yada and cry about it if needed which indirectly pushes husband to change his behavior. Have you used this approach?
 
Sooooo, in the mentoring group, a topic that struck a chord with me was wives are not supposed to eat the same food they prepare for their husbands.

Does anyone else practice this? Please give me the logistics of how it works in your home.
 
Sooooo, in the mentoring group, a topic that struck a chord with me was wives are not supposed to eat the same food they prepare for their husbands.

Does anyone else practice this? Please give me the logistics of how it works in your home.
I think they often say this because they are trying to keep their weight down. Like I saw a post where Ro is talking about she cooked shrimp for her husband (she doesn't like shrimp) and her husband was trying to convince her to eat. She smiled sweetly and instead just engaged in conversation with him. I think she will abstain from eating to juice or fast to keep her weight under control. Because she is all about keeping a plan to maintain your weight because men are visual.

Otherwise I don't see the point. Did they give reasons as to why? I personally eat whatever I cook but I eat small portions of course because I'm tiny and don't eat much. Do you suggest being mentored? I'm thinking of getting mentored by one of the ex teachers (since we had the same career and probably experiences)who is a mentor.
 
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I think they often say this because they are trying to keep their weight down. Like I saw a post where Ro is talking about she cooked shrimp for her husband (she doesn't like shrimp) and her husband was trying to convince her to eat. She smiled sweetly and instead just engaged in conversation with him. I think she will abstain from eating to juice or fast to keep her weight under control. Because she is all about keeping a plan to maintain your weight because men are visual.

Otherwise I don't see the point. Did they give reasons as to why? I personally eat whatever I cook but I eat small portions of course because I'm tiny and don't eat much. Do you suggest being mentored? I'm thinking of getting mentored by one of the ex teachers (since we had the same career and probably experiences)who is a mentor.


It is not mentoring in the traditional sense. It is more like a deeper explanation of somethings Ro says. For example, my mentor has issues with you talking to her 1-on-1 in DM. Anything personal they want you to share in the mentoring group because they say other people may have the same questions. If you're willing to air your business on SM, you are asked to sign an NDA in their defense, the mentors will give personal help. All mentors and Ro are in every mentee group.

The mentors' and Ro's favorites are the people selling their perfume, books or went to Family Meeting. There will be another Family Meeting in April, it is more expensive than the last.
 
It is not mentoring in the traditional sense. It is more like a deeper explanation of somethings Ro says. For example, my mentor has issues with you talking to her 1-on-1 in DM. Anything personal they want you to share in the mentoring group because they say other people may have the same questions. If you're willing to air your business on SM, you are asked to sign an NDA in their defense, the mentors will give personal help. All mentors and Ro are in every mentee group.

The mentors' and Ro's favorites are the people selling their perfume, books or went to Family Meeting. There will be another Family Meeting in April, it is more expensive than the last.
lol that's why Ro kept asking me to go to the last one. Bruhhhh. I was like don't you see I just quit me job? I'm not balling like that. Why is she saying that this will be the last family meeting? If she going to completely digital. I must admit from the pictures it was nothing but Black Excellence. Beautiful natural hair, smiling black women in dresses, women serving and cooking food, letting the sun kiss their beautiful brown skin, hats and gloves, class and sophistication. It was the epitome of the traditional AKA woman. Sorry for the non-Greeks/and other Greeks. It was just sooo classy, calmly, and enthralling.
 
Weight management.

This is directed to you and @PrissiSippi

If I'm managing my husband's and my own weight, blood pressure and cholesterol etc, with food, shouldn't we be eating the same things.

I have to be missing something.
Right. I see no point. I do take the time to be more private with how I look so good. I didn't wake up like this. I get monthly facials and get my hair and nails did monthly. Lol. But he doesn't need to know the specifics. (What I use, what I do, how often I do it, and etc.) I started having an unwind time where I go into the bathroom, lock the door, and just be. I take a Looooong bath now and make sure to apply my cleanser moisturizer and toner and pay attention to those spots that need the most attention. It's the beginning of something beautiful y'all when I look at this skin lol. I got all this stress off of me by quitting my job and a bihhh looking good as heck lol.
 
I like this thread, lots of interesting tidbits. I think I get what she means about the food, men and women have different needs in terms of macros (Proteins, fats and carbs). If I (5'5 150, muscular) ate like my SO (6'2, 220 very muscular), I'd be very large. On the occasions where I cook, he gets more ounces of proteins and more carbs, I may skip the carbs.

I'm more a savory girl so it's easy for me to skip desserts (which helps me keep my sugar and fats lower) while my SO can and does indulge every now and then cause he can afford to. I want to maintain my figure so I stay in my lane diet wise.

If I were on some super restrictive diet because I put on weight post baby, I probably would be eating drastically different meals than my husband's.
 
I have a real question: if there are girl's chores and boys chores and boys are not taught how to cook and clean properly, how do they survive living away from home when they grow up? and why would a woman think that they would really be able to care for them or their family -- women do get (or should be allowed to be) sick without stressing over the household.
 
I have a real question: if there are girl's chores and boys chores and boys are not taught how to cook and clean properly, how do they survive living away from home when they grow up? and why would a woman think that they would really be able to care for them or their family if he can't-- women do get (or should be allowed to be) sick without stressing over the household.
 
I have a real question: if there are girl's chores and boys chores and boys are not taught how to cook and clean properly, how do they survive living away from home when they grow up? and why would a woman think that they would really be able to care for them or their family -- women do get (or should be allowed to be) sick without stressing over the household.
I totally skimmed past that post but you're right. How do you avoid raising sons who can't make anything other than cereal or properly clean a bathroom if they're not made to do it at home?
 
I have a real question: if there are girl's chores and boys chores and boys are not taught how to cook and clean properly, how do they survive living away from home when they grow up? and why would a woman think that they would really be able to care for them or their family -- women do get (or should be allowed to be) sick without stressing over the household.


They don't live away from home until they are married with a proper wife, a wife that will do all of this. Cooking and cleaning (unless a chef) are feminine and emasculating to a masculine man.

Sons pay a small rent to their parents which the parents save and give to them when they are married with no outside children.

Marriage for sons should occurs at 35 or old.
 
I totally skimmed past that post but you're right. How do you avoid raising sons who can't make anything other than cereal or properly clean a bathroom if they're not made to do it at home?
lol Men bought don't know how to properly clean a bathroom. I was an RA in college and the men halls smelled disgusting and looked disgusting. I also want to add the Ro said men should know how to tidy up (putting things back to their respective place) but they shouldn't deep clean like women (scrubbing tubs and the like). So to me that would mean men would rinse out the tub after using it and put the towels in the hamper and put their toys back on the shelf or etc. , but deep cleaning like washing dishes, sweeping, cleaning the tub out, they would leave that for women.

This works for me because on here I used to complain that DH does not clean. He is a complete slob because his mother was a stay at home mother who cleaned up after him and he is the last born. It irks my nerves. But wrapping my head around the idea that men shouldn't clean because it lowers testosterone helped me take that expectation off of him and helped our house stay at peace more often. Of course this is with me having more time too (I don't work.)
 
They are really against sending your child to public schools. However, I would never have the consistency, time, patience, or sanity to do this. This is what we send our kid to a good school for. *** that. I see the point (like with the latest news article with the black girl being on a leash in the classroom), but that's not for me lol. I would feel they would miss out on something. However, I do believe I'm going to pad their education a lot. Lots of field trips and self-discovery experiences.
 
They are really against sending your child to public schools. However, I would never have the consistency, time, patience, or sanity to do this. This is what we send our kid to a good school for. *** that. I see the point (like with the latest news article with the black girl being on a leash in the classroom), but that's not for me lol. I would feel they would miss out on something. However, I do believe I'm going to pad their education a lot. Lots of field trips and self-discovery experiences.
This is how my mother did it and I like to think I turned out pretty okay, lol. This is also how I plan to do it as well when I have kids. I was on the fence but as soon as I saw that thread about $14k for preschool, my mind was made up. No way, Jose.

men shouldn't clean because it lowers testosterone
Interesting. Where did you see this? I'd like to do more reading about it.
 
This is how my mother did it and I like to think I turned out pretty okay, lol. This is also how I plan to do it as well when I have kids. I was on the fence but as soon as I saw that thread about $14k for preschool, my mind was made up. No way, Jose.


Interesting. Where did you see this? I'd like to do more reading about it.
Let me look that one up. I know I didn't believe it when she said that men NEED sex because it boosts their testosterone levels and I did find that was true.

https://www.webmd.com/men/news/20150313/more-sex-better-testosterone-levels
 
They are really against sending your child to public schools. However, I would never have the consistency, time, patience, or sanity to do this. This is what we send our kid to a good school for. *** that. I see the point (like with the latest news article with the black girl being on a leash in the classroom), but that's not for me lol. I would feel they would miss out on something. However, I do believe I'm going to pad their education a lot. Lots of field trips and self-discovery experiences.

I'm in limbo. I feel my sanity slipping at times lol being with them 24/7/365. But, I love that we can travel, field trip and do whatever we please with out the restrictions of school.

I also don't have the consistency to home school right now. I have a little less than a year to decide for the oldest.
 
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