Wife School - I Know Ya'll Saw This Yesterday...

I need to vent...

Ro's thoughts on makeup and hair just are not for me. Clear lip gloss, concealer, blush and "I woke up like this" styled hair doesn't work in my world. Dh never said anything, but I don't like it.

I love a bold pink/red lip and subtly done eyes. Her crew tries to say bold lips looks drag queenish. Pretty much if you style your hair and wear anymore makeup than her, you look too high maintenance or like a drag queen. It's getting old.
 
Zaynab said:
I missed this reply. I think you told me about her. She'll stay single or end up with a beta husband, who three kids later won't know how to the the family leader she will end up wanting. Ladies, either you want to run the show or you want a man who does.

Before we start a real wife school thread, some of y'all need the basics Dating for Marriage:look: @Femmefatal1981 What do you think?
Click to expand...

Ain't no point in having a wife school if there are no husbands to work our magic on.

I think it would be wonderful to have one thread that captures all the info and advise without having to look it up across multiple threads.
 
Supervixen said:
I need to vent...

Ro's thoughts on makeup and hair just are not for me. Clear lip gloss, concealer, blush and "I woke up like this" styled hair doesn't work in my world. Dh never said anything, but I don't like it.

I love a bold pink/red lip and subtly done eyes. Her crew tries to say bold lips looks drag queenish. Pretty much if you style your hair and wear anymore makeup than her, you look too high maintenance or like a drag queen. It's getting old.
Click to expand...
I wear bright bold lips everyday. So yea whatever.
 
Zaynab said:
I missed this reply. I think you told me about her. She'll stay single or end up with a beta husband, who three kids later won't know how to the the family leader she will end up wanting. Ladies, either you want to run the show or you want a man who does.

Before we start a real wife school thread, some of y'all need the basics Dating for Marriage:look: @Femmefatal1981 What do you think?
Click to expand...
Step 1 - log out and leave the dang house.
 
Zaynab said:
I am never rushed. I know we had a thread before about women who were never rushed and looked well cared for.

I try to be kind and soft in my interactions with people. Dh literally just said to me I love how you greet everyone even at McDonald's and you're so nice to them.
Click to expand...
This is probably my favorite thing about you. The first time we met up it was like we had been BFF's for years, lol.
 
Supervixen said:
I need to vent...

Ro's thoughts on makeup and hair just are not for me. Clear lip gloss, concealer, blush and "I woke up like this" styled hair doesn't work in my world. Dh never said anything, but I don't like it.

I love a bold pink/red lip and subtly done eyes. Her crew tries to say bold lips looks drag queenish. Pretty much if you style your hair and wear anymore makeup than her, you look too high maintenance or like a drag queen. It's getting old.
Click to expand...
Bruhhh no disrespect but have you seen Ro? I don't aspire to look like that. Her hair looks unkempt to me and while she looks fresh faced...I find it boring. I like a well put together "THAT GIRL" look. I get what she's saying but for my own standpoint I just don't want to look clownish/overly fake. If I wear fake eyelashes I want them to look like I was born with them. Long but natural and full looking. If I wear eyeshadow I'm not going for the Mimi from Drew Carey look lol I'm looking to enhance my natural beauty. I took from her advice your makeup shouldn't take away from your family. I have a best friend that takes a whole hour just to get ready to go to the grocery store. That's a problem. She can't get up and go. If she had a family that would be time lost she could be making memories. I've incorporated a ten-fifteen minute face. I wear dresses more often because they're easy to throw on and put a necklace on with it.

I take Ro's advice and real look at it and apply what I can and toss the fluff.
 
@Zaynab

Professor Z, help us out. I was so impressed with how you Zaynabbed the remarriage it brought a little tear to my eye.

Here are some questions I have:

1. What's your out and about look? Date look? Light makeup? Heavy makeup?

2. Does the type of car you drive matter when trying to attract a certain type of man? I'm planning an end of year upgrade.

3. How do you let them lead on dates?

4. How did you know when to take them out of the rotation and keep it moving?
 
PrissiSippi said:
Bruhhh no disrespect but have you seen Ro? I don't aspire to look like that. Her hair looks unkempt to me and while she looks fresh faced...I find it boring. I like a well put together "THAT GIRL" look. I get what she's saying but for my own standpoint I just don't want to look clownish/overly fake. If I wear fake eyelashes I want them to look like I was born with them. Long but natural and full looking. If I wear eyeshadow I'm not going for the Mimi from Drew Carey look lol I'm looking to enhance my natural beauty. I took from her advice your makeup shouldn't take away from your family. I have a best friend that takes a whole hour just to get ready to go to the grocery store. That's a problem. She can't get up and go. If she had a family that would be time lost she could be making memories. I've incorporated a ten-fifteen minute face. I wear dresses more often because they're easy to throw on and put a necklace on with it.

I take Ro's advice and real look at it and apply what I can and toss the fluff.
Click to expand...

This is kinda a stream of consciousness...but I totally agree with you.

I tried to apply her method thinking, 'maybe I do overdo it?' Maybe my husband DOESNT require a super polished hair and makeup look? Maybe I am doing this for other women? Maybe instead of the salon treatments I should be spending that time with my family?

I've since realized, I don't feel my best doing her "method." My feminine mystique is different than hers. My milkshake is hair and makeup. She way under does it, imo. She is much better looking in pics with light makeup. She dresses pretty traditionally and her body is alright, but her makeup and hair imo bump her down considerably on the looks scale to me. She looks frumpy and homely by the hair and face. Maybe that's hot in rural France, IDK, but my Chicago crew mostly stays with a light, natural beat and a natural looking weave or wig.

I also dislike how she tries to shame people for weaves and wigs, but acts like braids with extensions are ok--like it's all faux hair. We know you install $1000 braids, so you can't shame something you make money with.

Anyway, I like a polished, pulled together hair and face look, and that's a non-negotiable for me.
 
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PrissiSippi said:
I really agree with a lot that she has to say and I think I should be better perceived here because a lot we have talked about.

1. Women can't do both work a 40 he a week job and adequately take care of children. Because of this women should only have a part time job or be a full stay at home mom

2. Women were made to nurture their home not nurture and provide

3. GOOD Men don't like oversexualized women. Public Image is everything. Look good at all times.

4. Plating your food teaches kids and spouses to appreciate family time and dinner time together and makes food taste better because it looks better

5. Setting your table sets a habit where children will be able to know proper dinner etiquette if they need it.

6. Buy little girls tea sets to put value on their freedom and ability to meet mid day with other intelligent women make plans, grow, and flourish.

7 if you spend 40 hours a week at work do u also spend 40 hours a week with your spouse/kids. If not which one is most important

8. Date with a purpose don't date fir fun

9. Be careful who y date. Stay away from men that want a "team effort" and require you to work.

10. Teach girls they need a man. Need a man to protect them and build generational success through building a strong foundation for their children.
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I was at a cookout. The couple has two children, the youngest a girl. The grandparents were present too. Yt people. We're sitting on the deck and it starts to thunder. The girl was just chatting then she caught my eye and started talking to me about the storm. Then she says, "But don't worry because daddy, pop(grandpa) and- she pointed at dh and I said his name and she repeated- will keep us safe." I was like Wow. Raising her up to be entitled to the protection of men, even those she doesn't know well.
 
CafedeBelleza said:
I was at a cookout. The couple has two children, the youngest a girl. The grandparents were present too. Yt people. We're sitting on the deck and it starts to thunder. The girl was just chatting then she caught my eye and started talking to me about the storm. Then she says, "But don't worry because daddy, pop(grandpa) and- she pointed at dh and I said his name and she repeated- will keep us safe." I was like Wow. Raising her up to be entitled to the protection of men, even those she doesn't know well.
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Yup!!! I do this with my girls now and when DH/daddy "saves" us we say, "Thank you Superman!"

Lemme tell you, he blushes and smiles from ear to ear. Lmaoooo.
 
Femmefatal1981 said:
Step 1 - log out and leave the dang house.
Click to expand...
Girl. Everyone swears online dating is the new thing. And it can be if you utilize it properly.

I met my first husband through friends and my second one through friends. Meeting people organically and letting your close insert circle know up front hey do you have any real eligible bachelors you can introduce me to? I planned and vetted people to date, I was 40, no time to pray and wait. Like I said, 17 years later I still believe getting out and meeting men is ideal. Online dating can be insincere in that when a person has so many options they are less likely to choose/committee because why? They each internet contact is another insincere click away. Get. Out. Of. The. House.
 
CafedeBelleza said:
I was at a cookout. The couple has two children, the youngest a girl. The grandparents were present too. Yt people. We're sitting on the deck and it starts to thunder. The girl was just chatting then she caught my eye and started talking to me about the storm. Then she says, "But don't worry because daddy, pop(grandpa) and- she pointed at dh and I said his name and she repeated- will keep us safe." I was like Wow. Raising her up to be entitled to the protection of men, even those she doesn't know well.
Click to expand...
Awwww this is so sweet! Femininity at best
 
Zaynab said:
Before we start a real wife school thread, some of y'all need the basics Dating for Marriage:look: @Femmefatal1981
 What do you think?
Click to expand...

GMbWe.gif


giphy.gif


tenor.gif


Here for it. Present and accounted for.
 
Here are some questions I have:

@ArrrBeee

1. What's your out and about look? Date look? Light makeup? Heavy makeup?

I wear makeup everyday. I'm not a really heavy makeup girl. I do bright lips and subtle eyes or pale lips and heavy eyes. The number one thing about men is, they want you to look good but not fake. Have you ever heard a man compliment a woman on her eyelashes or eyebrows? I don't wear lashes or overdo my eyebrows. I have a standard makeup look I follow. I noticed that with say Halle and Kim K (sorry) they follow a routine with makeup. That's pretty much what I do. I didn't even deviate from that much the day I got married again.

2. Does the type of car you drive matter when trying to attract a certain type of man? I'm planning an end of year upgrade.

Do you know men? Like socially? Outside of dating? :look: I'm not being facetious but I'm amazed that women think a real man gives two flips about what kind of car you drive. I was previously a heavy Chevy girl. IME Men liked that I drive a fairly regular vehicle because it showed well I'm regular, responsible and not so materially caught up. Now that doesn't mean men don't like a woman who drives nice cars but I had a few comment like oh you drive Chevrolet's?? These are men who drove luxury cars too. They didn't feel any kind of way at all about it.

Also, on that same vein..IME I never had a man of a certain class ask me what do you do? If a man is asking that he's not a man for me because a man of his worth just needs to know you're intelligent, degreed and can work. What I do is irrelevant to getting to know me and vice versa ladies. They hate when women ask that. And they also hate when women lead with that. It's like are you defined by what you do? WHO ARE YOU? Start there. You should be able to describe yourself and your interests without your career coming up at all. A person's profession will reveal itself after you get to know them in regular everyday conversation. "Hey what are you up to tomorrow? Oh I have three meetings. Oh what do you do? " You wouldn't grill a person on what they do right upon meeting them unless they bring it up.

3. How do you let them lead on dates?

They can't call me the day of and say "what are you up to tonight?" That's code for: I don't have anything else to do and you're my 3/4th option. I don't text but for those of you that do, unless we are really dating, limit allowing the den to text a date too.

If you want to take me on a date I didn't allow them to say "what do you want to do?" You're the man. You figure it out. I'm the prize, I can go out with someone else. True story, new DH would say that and I would SWEETLY say "well you let me know what you have planned for a date, the time, place and I would love to join you." Not being demanding just saying here you do it. He dragged his feet for a few weeks because introvert :rolleyes:, I kept dating other people. When he realized I was dating other people, all of a sudden he was like " Hey this is what we are going to do on x day are you available?" Why, yes I am.

4. How did you know when to take them out of the rotation and keep it moving?

I don't play around :look: so I had three guys initially in rotation, before I got divorced because I put it out there to my inner (married friends only) circle that I needed them to look in their network of men to set me up with. Weeks later when I was divorced, I was ready you go. I also said region wasn't important (remember I always say cast a wider net) I had 3 guys and one dude I would never seriously date :look:but he liked me like for like 25 years and I legit let him know I was divorcing so I could use him for a confidence booster. :look: I then went on dates but not like dinner and a movie, I'm not 12, coffee, brunch, lunch, etc and I vetted them regarding what I wanted and was more important. I.e. Did they want a kid? Have kids? Value extended family like I did? Whatever you're looking for be upfront and honest about it and be SPECIFIC. Sort through and move them up by what's important to you. All three of the guys I dated for about 2 months and then moved DH up. I also subtlety let him know I was dating other people by being unavailable.

Most ladies don't know how to play dating multiple men. They mentally and emotionally settle on one, thinking because you want him, he wants you. And you're going to 'wait' for him to 'choose' you. You have to change that Mindset from the man is in control -to you being in control of who you want to choose from. Does that make sense? Dating multiple men allows you to be in control, be confident and not feel or act desperate. Men (babies and dogs) sense confidence like they sense desperation and fear. You should date them all as months, it doesn't take that long and men know very soon how they feel about a woman, like very soon. If a man is not trying to really be up front about his intentions with you, he's dating other people; you could end up in a situation-ship or undefined relationship because you weren't clear up front and you analyzed things he said vs. his actions. Men are about action, if they want you, you won't have to guess. If you're guessing, keep dating other guys until you find the one you want.
 
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CafedeBelleza said:
I was at a cookout. The couple has two children, the youngest a girl. The grandparents were present too. Yt people. We're sitting on the deck and it starts to thunder. The girl was just chatting then she caught my eye and started talking to me about the storm. Then she says, "But don't worry because daddy, pop(grandpa) and- she pointed at dh and I said his name and she repeated- will keep us safe." I was like Wow. Raising her up to be entitled to the protection of men, even those she doesn't know well.
Click to expand...
I absolutely love this.
 
Zaynab said:
Here are some questions I have:

@ArrrBeee

1. What's your out and about look? Date look? Light makeup? Heavy makeup?

I wear makeup everyday. I'm not a really heavy makeup girl. I do bright lips and subtle eyes or pale lips and heavy eyes. The number one thing about men is, they want you to look good but not fake. Have you ever heard a man compliment a woman on her eyelashes or eyebrows? I don't wear lashes or overdo my eyebrows. I have a standard makeup look I follow. I noticed that with say Halle and Kim K (sorry) they follow a routine with makeup. That's pretty much what I do. I didn't even deviate from that much the day I got married again.

2. Does the type of car you drive matter when trying to attract a certain type of man? I'm planning an end of year upgrade.

Do you know men? Like socially? Outside of dating? :look: I'm not being facetious but I'm amazed that women think a real man gives two flips about what kind of car you drive. I was previously a heavy Chevy girl. IME Men liked that I drive a fairly regular vehicle because it showed well I'm regular, responsible and not so materially caught up. Now that doesn't mean men don't like a woman who drives nice cars but I had a few comment like oh you drive Chevrolet's?? These are men who drove luxury cars too. They didn't feel any kind of way at all about it.

Also, on that same vein..IME I never had a man of a certain class ask me what do you do? If a man is asking that he's not a man for me because a man of his worth just needs to know you're intelligent, degreed and can work. What I do is irrelevant to getting to know me and vice versa ladies. They hate when women ask that. And they also hate when women lead with that. It's like are you defined by what you do? WHO ARE YOU? Start there. You should be able to describe yourself and your interests without your career coming up at all. A person's profession will reveal itself after you get to know them in regular everyday conversation. "Hey what are you up to tomorrow? Oh I have three meetings. Oh what do you do? " You wouldn't grill a person on what they do right upon meeting them unless they bring it up.

3. How do you let them lead on dates?

They can't call me the day of and say "what are you up to tonight?" That's code for: I don't have anything else to do and you're my 3/4th option. I don't text but for those of you that do, unless we are really dating, limit allowing the den to text a date too.

If you want to take me on a date I didn't allow them to say "what do you want to do?" You're the man. You figure it out. I'm the prize, I can go out with someone else. True story, new DH would say that and I would SWEETLY say "well you let me know what you have planned for a date, the time, place and I would love to join you." Not being demanding just saying here you do it. He dragged his feet for a few weeks because introvert :rolleyes:, I kept dating other people. When he realized I was dating other people, all of a sudden he was like " Hey this is what we are going to do on x day are you available?" Why, yes I am.

4. How did you know when to take them out of the rotation and keep it moving?

I don't play around :look: so I had three guys initially in rotation, before I got divorced because I put it out there to my inner (married friends only) circle that I needed them to look in their network of men to set me up with. Weeks later when I was divorced, I was ready you go. I also said region wasn't important (remember I always say cast a wider net) I had 3 guys and one dude I would never seriously date :look:but he liked me like for like 25 years and I legit let him know I was divorcing so I could use him for a confidence booster. :look: I then went on dates but not like dinner and a movie, I'm not 12, coffee, brunch, lunch, etc and I vetted them regarding what I wanted and was more important. I.e. Did they want a kid? Have kids? Value extended family like I did? Whatever you're looking for be upfront and honest about it and be SPECIFIC. Sort through and move them up by what's important to you. All three of the guys I dated for about 2 months and then moved DH up. I also subtlety let him know I was dating other people by being unavailable.

Most ladies don't know how to play dating multiple men. They mentally and emotionally settle on one, thinking because you want him, he wants you. And you're going to 'wait' for him to 'choose' you. You have to change that Mindset from the man is in control -to you being in control of who you want to choose from. Does that make sense? Dating multiple men allows you to be in control, be confident and not feel or act desperate. Men (babies and dogs) sense confidence like they sense desperation and fear. You should date them all as months, it doesn't take that long and men know very soon how they feel about a woman, like very soon. If a man is not trying to really be up front about his intentions with you, he's dating other people; you could end up in a situation-ship or undefined relationship because you weren't clear up front and you analyzed things he said vs. his actions. Men are about action, if they want you, you won't have to guess. If you're guessing, keep dating other guys until you find the one you want.
Click to expand...
1,000 likes
:bighug:

I know where I went wrong post divorce and I'm taking actions to do better. Thanks for the detailed responses.
 
54. Smart people listen to classical music. The tones and frequencies build up intelligence and wealth
55. Kids should be presented with family contract. Girls-should not have sex before marriage boys- should not have child out of wedlock. You should save up money for them. Invest it wisely and set it aside for them. Upon marriage they will receive money.
56. Even if u just saved $100 monthly until they were 25....that would be $30000 to be given to them upon marriage
57. Girls should have feminine bank account set up for them. Should be given to them upon marriage because their husband must and will make mistakes leading at first. This money will make sure her needs are met regardless. ( I wonder how u make sure they don't run through this money other than teaching them about wealth early on)
58. If you are single you should be dating each and every week. This is your job. Date for Marriage
59. TV Controls our thoughts by putting out brain in a sleep state. Plus there are few examples of healthy happy nondysfuntional black families on TV
60. Marriage's purpose is for your personal growth and generational success for your children and your children's children.
61. Wives are humble, clean apologetically, protect femininity, inspire wealth building from husband and more
62. Sleep quality and training is important. Make sure you prioritize 8-9 hours of sleep daily.
63. Don't force your children to grow up fast. Adult like clothing, lots of busy time, inadequate time for learning through discovery are no nos
64. Debt is only in the USA and you don't have to pay it. Lol.
65. There are feminine and masculine zones. Feminine zone items are house duties, house organization, kitchen and everything in it, family health, many more things taught at wife school. Publically my husband is always right. If any of these zones need my husband's assistance, I'll ask him. (I'm thinking this means first of all she never goes against her husband publically. They're always united. Additionally if she's cleaning (that's her zone) but it involves moving something heavy she will ask him to assist.)
 
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Some certified wives were on social media. Tagging about how you may not see it as a luxury but they have the time to paint their nails in the middle of the day/week while others have to work go to the nail shop on weekends. BUT bihhh your nails do not look cute. They have missing spots. You didn't even clean up. The color doesn't even complement your skin tone. It LOOKS like you did them yourself so what is the point?

It's great to have the time to do your own nails and hair because you are unbothered but I think it should look good too or you need to continue going to the shop lol. I'm working on learning a signature style I can do to my hair and nails so they last me a good week at least.
 
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PrissiSippi said:
Some certified wives were on social media. Tagging about how you may not see it as a luxury but they have the time to paint their nails in the middle of the day while others have to go to the nail shop. BUT bihhh your nails do not look cute. They have missing spots. You didn't gona clean up. The color doesn't even complement your skin tone. It LOOKS like you did them yourself so what is the point?

It's great to have the time to do your own nails and hair because you are unbothered but I think it should look good too or you need to continue going to the shop lol. I'm working on learning a signature style I can do to my hair and nails so they last me a good week at least.
Click to expand...

I didn't see this, but I'm sure it wasn't cute.

I can't with them and looks/dress.
 
Newsflash! There are good reasons why moms are supposed to have their own husbands, and if she does not, that's not a wife's fault. If a man tries to be his moms surrogate husband, then his wife is neglected from receiving his adoration during these moments, and that's cheating on your wife's heart! Children, jobs, and everything else should have its place! Wives need 40 hours a week from husbands, or expect divorce talks. Cycle repeats again. :-(

Toturn her on call her beautiful kind and smart. Women are verbal & we need verbal affirmation from our man to feel loved! Adoration is the way to a woman's heart, and a loved woman will be sexually attracted to the man who adores her, too! On the other hand men need lots of touch to feel respected. Touch includes coloring too. Actions alone don't do it for women & words alone don't do it for men. Touch your man frequently throughout the day and use pet names to show your admiration

Ladies, GIVING a man money may help him in the short term, but if/when he can EARN his own money, he will emotionally or physically leave the woman who GAVE to him! By GIVING money to men, we are babying him. The giving was emasculating & a masculine man NEEDS to provide for a woman who needs him as a man, not as a baby!

Working women eventually lose their happiness, spark, sanity, femininity, sexuality, or all of the above! Look around...how many happy working women have you seen today??? Time to figure out how we can live & be happy daily!

It's true, most Western women choose to work, and not prioritize their family instead. It's true that we don't respect men, but I'm telling you all that these are misunderstandings! You really need to understand that these misunderstandings are purposeful since the feminist movement & that this is for the benefit of our economy when couples break up & generate more financially as singles, than as stay home wives. Most western women don't understand men AT ALL, it's very odd. We are taught everything wrong about men. We are taught very young that men are less human, that sex every 10 days or longer is acceptable in a marriage, that being fat is a personal choice, and we can't give respect to men, because we've never learned how. We aren't your enemy who chooses not to care, we think we are normal acting like this. The real enemy is the system who created such male-female division in the first place!
 
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