PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I'm starting to share these sentiments as well.
Wife School - I Know Ya'll Saw This Yesterday...
- Thread starter Femmefatal1981
- Start date
Nicarie
Active Member
I took her class and it's helped my marriage but it was generally a reminder of what my grandmother taught us. My husband is already a good, generous man but we were having issues. After we reviewed all of the info together, we chose what worked for us and left the rest.
1. I work part time and online so I handle the home and my expenses.
2. He, as always, pays all the bills, investments and savings.
3. I invested in a rental property so I could have passive income. He handles the maintenance.
4. We treat each other much, much, MUCH nicer. That was the biggest issue for us.
There's PLENTY I don't agree with in RoR, but I can't say it's worthless.
1. I work part time and online so I handle the home and my expenses.
2. He, as always, pays all the bills, investments and savings.
3. I invested in a rental property so I could have passive income. He handles the maintenance.
4. We treat each other much, much, MUCH nicer. That was the biggest issue for us.
There's PLENTY I don't agree with in RoR, but I can't say it's worthless.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I didn't pay for the second parts because the videos are boring to me. However I went and compiled all her posts on Facebook and peruse them. If I don't know something (like playing techniques or etiquette or how to have generational wealth I look them up on google)
A lot of what I see from her public page I feel like is shared in depth in her class. However a lot of this can be easily googled. Anyone who wants insights.
1. Plate your food. No plastic plates and cups. Dollar tree sells plates for $1 invest in enough plates and glasses for your family. Every night your food should look like it comes from a restaurant. Why? Because we eat with our eyes. Food that looks good tastes good. Additional you treat your family like royalty because that is what they are to you. In time they will act like it as well. With this said cut out all the slavery foods (black eyed peas, casseroles, spaghetti, greens). Our food is laden with cheese and starches and fat that causes diabetes and high blood pressure.
2. Take the time to cook for your family. This is your job as a wife. One of your main duties is to make sure your family's nutrition is up to par. You are their dietician. Cut the salt and sugar. Buy your food fresh. Try to grocery shop daily (I think this is extreme so buy enough fresh foods for three days or so and shop twice a week)
3. Don't tell your husband or boy child what to do. You want him to wash your car? You ask him sweetly and let him make the decision. If he says no take it for how answer. Simply ask again and act like you forgot the first time you asked lol. Don't nag. Do it with a smile.
4. Let him fail. Let the lights get cut off. Let the bill get sent to the collector's. Let him see how unhappy it makes you feel in these situations but don't belittle or nag him. Men learn from disappointment.
5. Prepare yourself for dinner and bed. Take time to freshen up. Reapply your minimal makeup. Smile. Take time to breathe. Check your attitude. Don't wear hair scarves to bed instead invest in a satin pillowcase so your man will have something unfrumpy to look at. Wear nice sexy pajamas. (I invested in some cheap $2 fake satin pajama sets from aliexpress)
6. Don't ever talk bad about family. Teacher tells you your child is misbehaving? Tell them no...not my child and end conversation. Handle it at home. Discipline them at home. Put your family's best foot forward at all times. Don't EVER say anything publically bad about your husband or child.
7. Color with your husband everyday or every other day. Women who work everyday will find this hard to do because they are simply tired. This is one reason women should not work. Sex is a release of tension for man. He NEEDS your to color with him because it helps him be stress free at work and provide for his family just like him providing for him helps you ne stress free to nurture your family.
8. Have family heirlooms to be passed down generation to generation. It helps make your family have pride in who and where they come from.
9. You deserve the good stuff everyday - favorite perfume you only wear on special occasions? Why? Just like that fine china...dust it off and use it today. You are royalty so act like it.
10. Feminine polishing- don't look Grammy. Invest in massages, workouts, paint your nails, do you hair. Have a girly ritual for yourself (However she doesn't believe in spending a lot of money in this stuff. Learn to do as much as you can yourself or cheaply)
11. Home school your kids. Nobody is going to teach your kids to be better than their kids.
12. Giving a man money is a no no. He will be thankful short term. But this will not help him long term. He will leave u for a girl that sees him as a hero from the beginning and not a loser who had to borrow money from his girl.
13. Have compassion. When you message someone on social media or speak to someone say Hello. How are you doing/ How is your family. Pause listen to their answer. Respond. THEN ask your question. We are so wrapped up in routine and rush that we have very little compassion for others.
14. Don't curse in public it's. Or ladylike
15. Women don't pay bills. Your man should take care of anything necessary (house note, electricity, water, gas, car, insurance, and etc). You shouldn't need much outside of that. Your passive income takes care of non-necessary things (college savings, trust funds, vacation).
16. By you helping with his role, it suppresses his urge to provide for you In order for him to step up and be the man you gotta be the woman. Step down.
17. He is the husband for your house and not for other people house. Tell them to, "Get your own husband." (Example I always volunteer my husband to move some furniture for my friends since he has a truck. Never again. They need to ask him and pay him or put him the position to say no if he wants to. Don't make him do anything. This is going along with don't tell him what to do. Ask him. But in this case don't even ask lol. Hey need the favor let them ask. And be okay if he says NO.
18. Generational wealth is important. White folks have been doing this forever. Get life insurance on your husband your kid your parents and your grandparents. Husband does the same. Kid does the same. When somebody dies you get thousands of dollars for them. You can set this money up in a generational trust to leave money to your descendants. Remember y'all are royalty.
19. Be his assistant. Book doctor appointments, stuff he's enthusiastic in doing inspire him to do so especially if this skill could make money for your house. Plan meals. Keep the house clean and well stocked. Make his environment peaceful when he gets home.
20. Hold each child at least ten minutes a day. Hold your husband to or let him hold you. Set an alarm a few minutes before he has to leave for work to accomplish this. This will improve your bond with each person.
21. Respect your husband leadership journey. If he makes mistakes don't judge it.
22. Don't argue. Friends, family, your man. Be silent. Mean what u say but don't go back and worth with people. Not worth it. They won't change their stance. You won't either.
23. Don't use pronouns referring to your husband like him or he. Say my husband or a cute pet name for your husband.
24. Have pet names for your husband: honey bunch, love, mi amour, baby
25. What does your marriage look like 5 years in? 10 years in? 15? Remember the honeymoon stage only lasts for a few months yet the marriage is for a lifetime.
27. What does your child's life look like age 15? 20? 25? 30? 35? Where do they live? Do? Dream? Passive incomes? Remember they stay kids 18 years and adults for life.
28. Have rites of passages-Have ritual for girl on cycle. Long bubble bath, do hair, massage. Why? For she's carrying the family's jewels
29. Image consulting- look good. Follow that girl threads if u confused lol. Ro doesn't like weave or relaxed hair.
30. Make time for tea. Take the tea set out. Spend time with like minded women. Plan strategize and talk. (This seems outdated to me so I'll be putting bailey's in my tea I'm just saying)
31. Spanking comes from slavery. Spank sparingly. Redirect them talk to them.
32. Look up basic etiquette rules: learn how to sit, Answer the phone, talk
33. Have a very feminine voice. High pitched. Girly. Deliberate. Practice makes permanent.
34. Practice daily I need my husband because. Mind are: I need him to make me feel loved and at peace so I can nurture others and my household. I need him to help me feel safe in being vulnerable. I Need him to take the baby and go somewhere occasionally so I can have alone time. I need him to keep my stress and responsibilities to a minimum. I need my husband so I can not HAVE to work and go around empowering someone else's husband and not my own most of the day.
35. Don't be a constant consumer that has to shop for entertainment and don't teach your kid this bad behavior.
36. Don't be loud. Walk to your husband and ask him what you need. Don't holler at him. Don't be lazy.
37. Drop the need to be right
38. Drop the extra weight. You should be a size 0-12 depending on height (lol major side eye)
39. Don't speak your mind when nobody asked of it.
40. Prioritize your husband not a boss...work is for men. Don't neglect your legacy to be a slave for someone else.
A lot of what I see from her public page I feel like is shared in depth in her class. However a lot of this can be easily googled. Anyone who wants insights.
1. Plate your food. No plastic plates and cups. Dollar tree sells plates for $1 invest in enough plates and glasses for your family. Every night your food should look like it comes from a restaurant. Why? Because we eat with our eyes. Food that looks good tastes good. Additional you treat your family like royalty because that is what they are to you. In time they will act like it as well. With this said cut out all the slavery foods (black eyed peas, casseroles, spaghetti, greens). Our food is laden with cheese and starches and fat that causes diabetes and high blood pressure.
2. Take the time to cook for your family. This is your job as a wife. One of your main duties is to make sure your family's nutrition is up to par. You are their dietician. Cut the salt and sugar. Buy your food fresh. Try to grocery shop daily (I think this is extreme so buy enough fresh foods for three days or so and shop twice a week)
3. Don't tell your husband or boy child what to do. You want him to wash your car? You ask him sweetly and let him make the decision. If he says no take it for how answer. Simply ask again and act like you forgot the first time you asked lol. Don't nag. Do it with a smile.
4. Let him fail. Let the lights get cut off. Let the bill get sent to the collector's. Let him see how unhappy it makes you feel in these situations but don't belittle or nag him. Men learn from disappointment.
5. Prepare yourself for dinner and bed. Take time to freshen up. Reapply your minimal makeup. Smile. Take time to breathe. Check your attitude. Don't wear hair scarves to bed instead invest in a satin pillowcase so your man will have something unfrumpy to look at. Wear nice sexy pajamas. (I invested in some cheap $2 fake satin pajama sets from aliexpress)
6. Don't ever talk bad about family. Teacher tells you your child is misbehaving? Tell them no...not my child and end conversation. Handle it at home. Discipline them at home. Put your family's best foot forward at all times. Don't EVER say anything publically bad about your husband or child.
7. Color with your husband everyday or every other day. Women who work everyday will find this hard to do because they are simply tired. This is one reason women should not work. Sex is a release of tension for man. He NEEDS your to color with him because it helps him be stress free at work and provide for his family just like him providing for him helps you ne stress free to nurture your family.
8. Have family heirlooms to be passed down generation to generation. It helps make your family have pride in who and where they come from.
9. You deserve the good stuff everyday - favorite perfume you only wear on special occasions? Why? Just like that fine china...dust it off and use it today. You are royalty so act like it.
10. Feminine polishing- don't look Grammy. Invest in massages, workouts, paint your nails, do you hair. Have a girly ritual for yourself (However she doesn't believe in spending a lot of money in this stuff. Learn to do as much as you can yourself or cheaply)
11. Home school your kids. Nobody is going to teach your kids to be better than their kids.
12. Giving a man money is a no no. He will be thankful short term. But this will not help him long term. He will leave u for a girl that sees him as a hero from the beginning and not a loser who had to borrow money from his girl.
13. Have compassion. When you message someone on social media or speak to someone say Hello. How are you doing/ How is your family. Pause listen to their answer. Respond. THEN ask your question. We are so wrapped up in routine and rush that we have very little compassion for others.
14. Don't curse in public it's. Or ladylike
15. Women don't pay bills. Your man should take care of anything necessary (house note, electricity, water, gas, car, insurance, and etc). You shouldn't need much outside of that. Your passive income takes care of non-necessary things (college savings, trust funds, vacation).
16. By you helping with his role, it suppresses his urge to provide for you In order for him to step up and be the man you gotta be the woman. Step down.
17. He is the husband for your house and not for other people house. Tell them to, "Get your own husband." (Example I always volunteer my husband to move some furniture for my friends since he has a truck. Never again. They need to ask him and pay him or put him the position to say no if he wants to. Don't make him do anything. This is going along with don't tell him what to do. Ask him. But in this case don't even ask lol. Hey need the favor let them ask. And be okay if he says NO.
18. Generational wealth is important. White folks have been doing this forever. Get life insurance on your husband your kid your parents and your grandparents. Husband does the same. Kid does the same. When somebody dies you get thousands of dollars for them. You can set this money up in a generational trust to leave money to your descendants. Remember y'all are royalty.
19. Be his assistant. Book doctor appointments, stuff he's enthusiastic in doing inspire him to do so especially if this skill could make money for your house. Plan meals. Keep the house clean and well stocked. Make his environment peaceful when he gets home.
20. Hold each child at least ten minutes a day. Hold your husband to or let him hold you. Set an alarm a few minutes before he has to leave for work to accomplish this. This will improve your bond with each person.
21. Respect your husband leadership journey. If he makes mistakes don't judge it.
22. Don't argue. Friends, family, your man. Be silent. Mean what u say but don't go back and worth with people. Not worth it. They won't change their stance. You won't either.
23. Don't use pronouns referring to your husband like him or he. Say my husband or a cute pet name for your husband.
24. Have pet names for your husband: honey bunch, love, mi amour, baby
25. What does your marriage look like 5 years in? 10 years in? 15? Remember the honeymoon stage only lasts for a few months yet the marriage is for a lifetime.
27. What does your child's life look like age 15? 20? 25? 30? 35? Where do they live? Do? Dream? Passive incomes? Remember they stay kids 18 years and adults for life.
28. Have rites of passages-Have ritual for girl on cycle. Long bubble bath, do hair, massage. Why? For she's carrying the family's jewels
29. Image consulting- look good. Follow that girl threads if u confused lol. Ro doesn't like weave or relaxed hair.
30. Make time for tea. Take the tea set out. Spend time with like minded women. Plan strategize and talk. (This seems outdated to me so I'll be putting bailey's in my tea I'm just saying)
31. Spanking comes from slavery. Spank sparingly. Redirect them talk to them.
32. Look up basic etiquette rules: learn how to sit, Answer the phone, talk
33. Have a very feminine voice. High pitched. Girly. Deliberate. Practice makes permanent.
34. Practice daily I need my husband because. Mind are: I need him to make me feel loved and at peace so I can nurture others and my household. I need him to help me feel safe in being vulnerable. I Need him to take the baby and go somewhere occasionally so I can have alone time. I need him to keep my stress and responsibilities to a minimum. I need my husband so I can not HAVE to work and go around empowering someone else's husband and not my own most of the day.
35. Don't be a constant consumer that has to shop for entertainment and don't teach your kid this bad behavior.
36. Don't be loud. Walk to your husband and ask him what you need. Don't holler at him. Don't be lazy.
37. Drop the need to be right
38. Drop the extra weight. You should be a size 0-12 depending on height (lol major side eye)
39. Don't speak your mind when nobody asked of it.
40. Prioritize your husband not a boss...work is for men. Don't neglect your legacy to be a slave for someone else.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
A few more. Some are extreme. I think it's key to ignore the outrageous ones but pick out the gems and work on them
41. Sleep on one side of the bed. Sleep like you want to be married lol.
42. Prepare everything you eat from scratch. Her staples I
43. Don't domesticate him and make him clean. He and big children should know to keep their area clean by tidying up behind themselves but deep cleaning is for Women. Let him feel the need of a woman by not making him do these things
44. Plate his food first. Then your kids.
45. Don't allow video games from your man or kids. Teach work ethic. Train the boy to do masculine chores: take trash out, wash car, mow the lawn, fix stuff around the house, put things together.
46. Let boy children lead decisions. Ask him what does he want to eat today and then make it. Allow him to get into the habit of leading so he can as an adult.
47. Allow boys to protect their mother. It's all in practice. We tell boys to not do this behavior (Like when a stranger says something to you and the child says get away from my mama) but he is trying to do his natural masculine duty...protect you. Don't down play this. Let him practice. Explain to him boundaries of this protection but let him do this.
48. Let him fail and struggle and don't rescue him. Boys learn from disappointment.
49. Cleaning is an art. Do it and do it well to have peace in your house.
50. Meals should be eaten at the table. And of course on real plates. This reinforces dinner etiquette. You also have time to bond. Cooking brings you close together. This is a time for you to model good dinner etiquette like how to set the table (the knife's rugged side points toward the plate. Did y'all know/remember that?)
51. Have family meetings. That could mean doing it over dinner. Don't rush though. These meeting could take an hour or longer.
52. Don't carry heavy things. (In my head this means don't let your man see u carry heavy things. If he is present you don't lift heavy things or drive.)
53. Thank him frequently. Don't over talk him. Admire him.
53. Ways to show your admiration: feed him food privately, give him a body massage, run his bath water, kiss him, rub his back, do things that show your admiration EVERYDAY
41. Sleep on one side of the bed. Sleep like you want to be married lol.
42. Prepare everything you eat from scratch. Her staples I
43. Don't domesticate him and make him clean. He and big children should know to keep their area clean by tidying up behind themselves but deep cleaning is for Women. Let him feel the need of a woman by not making him do these things
44. Plate his food first. Then your kids.
45. Don't allow video games from your man or kids. Teach work ethic. Train the boy to do masculine chores: take trash out, wash car, mow the lawn, fix stuff around the house, put things together.
46. Let boy children lead decisions. Ask him what does he want to eat today and then make it. Allow him to get into the habit of leading so he can as an adult.
47. Allow boys to protect their mother. It's all in practice. We tell boys to not do this behavior (Like when a stranger says something to you and the child says get away from my mama) but he is trying to do his natural masculine duty...protect you. Don't down play this. Let him practice. Explain to him boundaries of this protection but let him do this.
48. Let him fail and struggle and don't rescue him. Boys learn from disappointment.
49. Cleaning is an art. Do it and do it well to have peace in your house.
50. Meals should be eaten at the table. And of course on real plates. This reinforces dinner etiquette. You also have time to bond. Cooking brings you close together. This is a time for you to model good dinner etiquette like how to set the table (the knife's rugged side points toward the plate. Did y'all know/remember that?)
51. Have family meetings. That could mean doing it over dinner. Don't rush though. These meeting could take an hour or longer.
52. Don't carry heavy things. (In my head this means don't let your man see u carry heavy things. If he is present you don't lift heavy things or drive.)
53. Thank him frequently. Don't over talk him. Admire him.
53. Ways to show your admiration: feed him food privately, give him a body massage, run his bath water, kiss him, rub his back, do things that show your admiration EVERYDAY
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
I like some of these ideas for my boys.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
This doesn't relate to me but I like how she broke down how to treat baby mamas
Our men love to say how dysfunctional single mothers can be, but these same men hurt the women in their lives with BABY MAMA DRAMA! How & then what???
1. The baby mama has a hold on your man, as he's been previously trained by her to protect & provide.
2. He needs to make the mental switch in his mind, to prioritize ONLY his home, his wife, and the harmony within it. He CAN NEVER please both women, as they are naturally in competition for his adoration (female love) attention, money & time. ONLY THE WIFE SHOULD GET THIS, OR HE IS CHEATING!
3. He needs to NEVER enter his ex' house, never even stand close to her, never eat or accept her food, never even accept cute pictures of the children from her.
4. She should ONLY EVER speak to the New wife, and discontinue all contact with him. He can only initiate contact with her, if the New wife is unavailable & in case of emergency. This is a great African tradition that cuts lots of drama, as women know other women's tricks to well. The ex will not be able to disrespect the husband & home either.
5. She gets treated like they're still together sometimes, with devotion to pay increased child support & expenses. Putting you after these demands are met is abuse. ABUSE!
6. He can't separate her from the child in his mind, and she knows it!
7. The child is taught by her, to disrespect you and your household & he acts like he can't see it.
8. His desire for peace, causes him to give into demands of the baby mama & her dysfunctional offspring.
9. The more he rewards baby mama (and the child) with complying, the worse their disrespect will become. For nasty baby mamas, do NOT give the child support to them, give it to the child. Give only what is required, and if they want more, they should ask your wife, who should carefully decide.
10. The baby mama needs her own husband, and if she adjusts her attitude, she might get one. Not your fault if she doesn't, but more men will use her for sex, making your wife's good example more and more valuable.
11. The wife should come first, in all ways. This is not abuse to the child who has a mother who has made bad decisions. The child needs to see that behaving like your good wife will reward a woman, and her husband.
12. He is completely abusing you, as his wife, you are the ONLY woman who should get ALL of his devotion. You must come before the child and the ex, or everyone will suffer from another broken family.
13. The men in your life should not tolerate this abuse by your husband. Call them for help if you need to.
14. These men need to stop pretending that the baby mama & her drama is behaving like a good person, because they feel guilty for choosing her. If she were good, they'd still be together.
15. These men need to stop pretending that the baby mama is a good mother if she's clearly not! Women are too angry & hurt to be fully loving mothers, when rejected then not married.
16. The child needs to be checked & reprogrammed at the door each visit. They should have a talk, sign a form or change clothes; depending on their age.
17. The current wife & your great marriage is the BEST way to assure that your child doesn't end up acting like your angry baby mama. Prioritize your marriage above ALL OR ELSE!
18. The child does not need to come around until everybody knows that full respect for the marriage, new wife, and father is 100% non negotiable. Might take years, but that's their choice.
19. The two women NEVER be in the same place at the same time. If one is a certified wife, they should be operating in their home & with the children completely differently. There ways will mix & confuse the children on who they should listen to & respect.
20. Both women should be called a version of, Mother". No exceptions or excuses, or the child is disrespecting your wife & her authority.
21. You can no longer be the father doing mother role things! Write down what is the mothers zone duties & privileges, and STAY OUT OF HER ZONE, or risk hurting her very badly!!!! She had to deal with all of this drama, and should be respected with utmost appreciation as your highest priority & the mother of all children in your home.
22. Need to reprogram these family destroyers. Need help? Ask us how. HUSBAND SUMMIT or fail! RootsOfRoyals. Com
Our men love to say how dysfunctional single mothers can be, but these same men hurt the women in their lives with BABY MAMA DRAMA! How & then what???
1. The baby mama has a hold on your man, as he's been previously trained by her to protect & provide.
2. He needs to make the mental switch in his mind, to prioritize ONLY his home, his wife, and the harmony within it. He CAN NEVER please both women, as they are naturally in competition for his adoration (female love) attention, money & time. ONLY THE WIFE SHOULD GET THIS, OR HE IS CHEATING!
3. He needs to NEVER enter his ex' house, never even stand close to her, never eat or accept her food, never even accept cute pictures of the children from her.
4. She should ONLY EVER speak to the New wife, and discontinue all contact with him. He can only initiate contact with her, if the New wife is unavailable & in case of emergency. This is a great African tradition that cuts lots of drama, as women know other women's tricks to well. The ex will not be able to disrespect the husband & home either.
5. She gets treated like they're still together sometimes, with devotion to pay increased child support & expenses. Putting you after these demands are met is abuse. ABUSE!
6. He can't separate her from the child in his mind, and she knows it!
7. The child is taught by her, to disrespect you and your household & he acts like he can't see it.
8. His desire for peace, causes him to give into demands of the baby mama & her dysfunctional offspring.
9. The more he rewards baby mama (and the child) with complying, the worse their disrespect will become. For nasty baby mamas, do NOT give the child support to them, give it to the child. Give only what is required, and if they want more, they should ask your wife, who should carefully decide.
10. The baby mama needs her own husband, and if she adjusts her attitude, she might get one. Not your fault if she doesn't, but more men will use her for sex, making your wife's good example more and more valuable.
11. The wife should come first, in all ways. This is not abuse to the child who has a mother who has made bad decisions. The child needs to see that behaving like your good wife will reward a woman, and her husband.
12. He is completely abusing you, as his wife, you are the ONLY woman who should get ALL of his devotion. You must come before the child and the ex, or everyone will suffer from another broken family.
13. The men in your life should not tolerate this abuse by your husband. Call them for help if you need to.
14. These men need to stop pretending that the baby mama & her drama is behaving like a good person, because they feel guilty for choosing her. If she were good, they'd still be together.
15. These men need to stop pretending that the baby mama is a good mother if she's clearly not! Women are too angry & hurt to be fully loving mothers, when rejected then not married.
16. The child needs to be checked & reprogrammed at the door each visit. They should have a talk, sign a form or change clothes; depending on their age.
17. The current wife & your great marriage is the BEST way to assure that your child doesn't end up acting like your angry baby mama. Prioritize your marriage above ALL OR ELSE!
18. The child does not need to come around until everybody knows that full respect for the marriage, new wife, and father is 100% non negotiable. Might take years, but that's their choice.
19. The two women NEVER be in the same place at the same time. If one is a certified wife, they should be operating in their home & with the children completely differently. There ways will mix & confuse the children on who they should listen to & respect.
20. Both women should be called a version of, Mother". No exceptions or excuses, or the child is disrespecting your wife & her authority.
21. You can no longer be the father doing mother role things! Write down what is the mothers zone duties & privileges, and STAY OUT OF HER ZONE, or risk hurting her very badly!!!! She had to deal with all of this drama, and should be respected with utmost appreciation as your highest priority & the mother of all children in your home.
22. Need to reprogram these family destroyers. Need help? Ask us how. HUSBAND SUMMIT or fail! RootsOfRoyals. Com
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I like her ideas towards parenting including having some kind of rites of passage for girls. I wouldn't mind having a mini quincerea and doing the special bath and girly outing to celebrate the menses rather than complain about it.
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
That's a good idea. I can start oneAlso if you do a search you'll see that we've discussed this book and topic at length. If you want to be treated a certain way you need to attract that, as simple as that.
ETA: @Southernbella. was my mentee and can attest to this yet she still manages to be a feminist by day so it's possible to do both
I missed this tag but yes
I no longer consider myself a feminist but I am still pretty militant in general about race and gender.I live by the credo that none of that stuff has anything to do with dh. I don't need to debate him or talk about any of this with him because his job is to take care of his family, which he does. I have yall, my classmates, and a few homeboys to argue with.
I've been talking to my homegirl about this. She's very militant and she was telling me one day that she doesn't know where she'll find a bm who isnt homophobic, not a misogynist, who is for trans rights, who is willing to believe this and that, blah blah. I told her it's not his job to believe what she believes. I'm hoping I can get through to her. She's of the Tumblr activist generation so it's gonna be hard. They have questionnaires and ish, stuff they ask every potential mate to make sure he's woke.
NO. That's not how this works.
movingforward13
I do what I want...
@PrissiSippi - Thank you for breaking it all down. I will pick out the gems that I can live with and apply to my life. Because there is no way I could give up working, unless I won the lottery. And even then, I see myself involved with something making money where I have leadership and influence. It is the Caribbean in me. There is just something about making my own money and not having to depend on anyone that I really like. I enjoy looking in my bank account and seeing the zeros.
I think having a business from home would accomplish both goals and now that I have gotten a taste of that (self employed making great money from home the last 7 months), I am trying to make it permanent with my own business.
I think having a business from home would accomplish both goals and now that I have gotten a taste of that (self employed making great money from home the last 7 months), I am trying to make it permanent with my own business.
intellectualuva
Well-Known Member
Interesting thoughts on "dealing with baby mamas."
I like the stuff about raising boys. I was thinking last night about some ways they can be trained/mentored by women in their lives not just the men. Of course I want to do it in a way that's more feminine in its approach.
I like the stuff about raising boys. I was thinking last night about some ways they can be trained/mentored by women in their lives not just the men. Of course I want to do it in a way that's more feminine in its approach.
sweetvi
Well-Known Member
I like #45 to #48 I wish boys had more chores in my culture. The girls are taught everything and guys coddled
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I like her approach too. I follow some of her associates too to get more insight. For example her friend the other day said that she bought her child a toy with a lot of pieces. He got frustrated and said mommy can you put it together. She said well you are an engineer (law of attraction). If you don't know how to do it how could I possibly know how to do it? With hard work and effort you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. I just know you can figure out your toy and put it together. It took him awhile but he completed it. She was his cheerleader the entire way. He learns through "disappointment" in not having his toy right away and sees effort is important and the law of attraction hopefully molds him Into an engineer in his future years. I'm going to use this. I will
Find what Baby likes to do find some career paths and push him.into that based on experiences.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I started slow with everything that didn't require money lol. I'm cheap.
1. I had a set of white dishes. I love colors so I only used the color ones but I must admit the white ones make my food pop better. This was free for me to do.
2. Coloring everyday. I had gotten to a point where we were once a week or so. I'm tired and have a 6 month old so it's understandable. However I set my alarm every night. When the alarm went off I just made it a habit to...at least...
lick the lollipop. It often led to coloring. I noticed he was a lot happier and more receptive to doing what I wanted. 
I started wanting it more too. I just had gotten out of the habit with baby. 3. I tell DH what to do all day. I literally boss him around to outsiders. I started framing every command in a question. Can you now the grass? Would you rather have chicken or steak for dinner? Do you think you would have enough money to pay DS's xyz? Literally today I said we need to go cmon on we're going to be late but stopped at We need to stopped paused and changed it to baby in how many minutes will we be leaving?
4. Admiring DH: again I set my alarm. At 8:30 or nine Ima getting things from a list: lick the lollipop,bathe him, feed him privately, massage his body, clip his fingernails/toenails lol, iron his clothes, sit in his lap and touch him...SOMETHING. It was really calculated at first but as the days go on I appreciate it and look forward to it. A lot of it is because it's a lot of peace at home now. He does more for me and me more for him.
sweetvi
Well-Known Member
I started slow with everything that didn't require money lol. I'm cheap.
1. I had a set of white dishes. I love colors so I only used the color ones but I must admit the white ones make my food pop better. This was free for me to do.
2. Coloring everyday. I had gotten to a point where we were once a week or so. I'm tired and have a 6 month old so it's understandable. However I set my alarm every night. When the alarm went off I just made it a habit to...at least...
3. I tell DH what to do all day. I literally boss him around to outsiders. I started framing every command in a question. Can you now the grass? Would you rather have chicken or steak for dinner? Do you think you would have enough money to pay DS's xyz? Literally today I said we need to go cmon on we're going to be late but stopped at We need to stopped paused and changed it to baby in how many minutes will we be leaving?
4. Admiring DH: again I set my alarm. At 8:30 or nine Ima getting things from a list: lick the lollipop,bathe him, feed him privately, massage his body, clip his fingernails/toenails lol, iron his clothes, sit in his lap and touch him...SOMETHING. It was really calculated at first but as the days go on I appreciate it and look forward to it. A lot of it is because it's a lot of peace at home now. He does more for me and me more for him.
Wowwwwwww
Niiice. Men r like babies. Give them attention and some tlc and it's a wrap. Women have so much power
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
It's really made a difference.
1. I came home saying that DS had registration that needed to be paid. I pay for all DS daycare and stuff. Instead DH said he would pay it Friday and he put DS on his flex account so he's going to pay for daycare starting in December
2. He started going to the store and asking did we need anything and getting whatever I asked.
3. He made this ritual he wants us to do. He wants to take us out for breakfast every Saturday morning. He got up bought us breakfast and brought it back to the house for us to eat together the other day. And then kept it up the next week.
4. He went out and priced this pergola (spelling) that I like in one of the upscale neighborhoods. I mean I just randomly said I love this one particular house...never brought it up again and boom. It was too high to purchase. He went to work and made a layout on how to make said pergola and asked the workers how much wood it would take to make it. He ended up winning some money from his bowling league....He usually spends the money on himself which is fine. He told me he was using the money to build the pergola for me.
5. I've been gardening. He came home with some pink gardening gloves for me to use outside since I'm really prissy and he saw I was getting my hands dirty in the soil. I LOOOOVE random gifts. He never got them before. He said he was afraid I wouldn't like them.
6. When he comes home he immediately gets DS. I can literally just unwind. Ain't no...what did you do all day? Or Why do you need time to unwind? I can just go to the back and lie down and he won't let DS or him bother me. I can take a 30 minute nap (I do make sure diapers, wipes, and 2 bottles are prepared) and he just lets me...sleep.
7. Now this is the only bad thing....since I've been cooking...he EXPECTS me to cook lol. It's kinda cute though. He was like DS let me get you and change you so mama can make us some breakfast. I looked at him sweetly and said...what did you say? He started stuttering and said um I said you could make me some breakfast. I simply said....what would you like? Before he would never know. It was always....whatever you want...now he gives me specifics on what he wants. He told me...I made sure I cooked just that took me about 30 minutes and went on my way.
I'm anxious to see how this continues to play out the more feminine I learn to be.
Taleah2009
Well-Known Member
I started slow with everything that didn't require money lol. I'm cheap.
1. I had a set of white dishes. I love colors so I only used the color ones but I must admit the white ones make my food pop better. This was free for me to do.
2. Coloring everyday. I had gotten to a point where we were once a week or so. I'm tired and have a 6 month old so it's understandable. However I set my alarm every night. When the alarm went off I just made it a habit to...at least...
3. I tell DH what to do all day. I literally boss him around to outsiders. I started framing every command in a question. Can you now the grass? Would you rather have chicken or steak for dinner? Do you think you would have enough money to pay DS's xyz? Literally today I said we need to go cmon on we're going to be late but stopped at We need to stopped paused and changed it to baby in how many minutes will we be leaving?
4. Admiring DH: again I set my alarm. At 8:30 or nine Ima getting things from a list: lick the lollipop,bathe him, feed him privately, massage his body, clip his fingernails/toenails lol, iron his clothes, sit in his lap and touch him...SOMETHING. It was really calculated at first but as the days go on I appreciate it and look forward to it. A lot of it is because it's a lot of peace at home now. He does more for me and me more for him.
Love this!!! I am going to do the set the alarm trick. I be sooo tired sometimes that I have let coloring slip to 1-2x per week. This needs to be fixed!
sweetvi
Well-Known Member
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
Wife school focuses on needs as well. You need him and he needs you. I know beforeher I didn't feel like I need a man at all. I'm a degree toting, aggressively saving, thrifty chick that never depended on anyone. However these type of posts changed my mind
These are the reasons your husband needs you as posted on Facebook:
My husband needs me for many things daily, several things on a weekly basis, and many more second by second. Here is the partial list.
1. My husband needs me to make him feel highly respected, to increase his success.
2. My husband needs me to have someone to protect.
3. My husband needs me to make him feel safe to privately express his deepest feelings.
4. My husband needs me to be proud of the way that he is.
5. My husband needs me to raise the children well, especially while he's at work.
6. My husband needs me to keep our home lovely.
7. My husband needs me as co-captain of his leadership.
8. My husband needs me for creating full and meaningful memories.
9. My husband needs me to show the children how a woman loves and should be loved.
10. My husband needs me to want him physically, show it, and say that too.
11. My husband needs me to sweetly feed him emotionally, physically, spiritually & intellectually.
12. My husband needs me to make his life beautiful.
13. My husband needs me to balance our children's moods with my feminine energy.
14. My husband needs me to hold the baby while he eats with his knife and fork.
15. My husband needs me to keep track of details concerning the children and their daily development.
16. I need my husband needs me to hold up family reputation during his working hours.
17. My husband needs me to know how to keep the home peaceful.
18. My husband needs me to be his prize & pursuit.
19. My husband needs me to encourage him.
20. My husband needs me to find great experiences for our family during his working hours.
21. My husband needs me to bring honor to his name and legacy.
22. My husband needs me to nurture him into becoming his best self.
23. My husband needs me to inspire his choices & goals.
24. My husband needs me to see possible drama that he might not recognize.
25. My husband needs me to set the standard for how others respect him everywhere.
26. My husband needs me to be the steward of his health.
27. My husband needs me, in order to have a complete family.
28. My husband needs me to deeply share love with.
29. My husband needs me to uplift his masculinity.
30. My husband needs me to share joy with.
31. My husband needs me to bring a soothing
energy to our home and family.
32. My husband needs me to empower him, who then empowers our family.
33. My husband needs me to make our children feel valued and loved.
34. My husband needs me to keep drama and finances in their proper place.
35. My husband needs me to raise the children well, while he's away.
36. My husband needs me to grocery shop.
37. My husband needs me to shop for our family's clothing, while he's at work.
38. My husband needs me to positively affect his character.
39. My husband needs me to pack his lunches for work.
40. My husband needs me to help keep extended family close.
41. My husband needs me to cheer him up.
42. My husband needs me to sit with the baby, when she's crying, while he's driving.
43. My husband needs me for him to get benefits offered to family men.
44. My husband needs me to educate our children academically.
45. My husband needs me to elevate his social status.
46. My husband needs me to cater our functions.
47. My husband needs me to prevent the children from wasting.
48. My husband needs me to keep traditions alive.
49. My husband needs me to stay on his financial plan.
50. My husband needs me to understand him.
51. My husband needs me to always consider his feelings first.
52. My husband needs me to bring our daughters to public restrooms.
53. My husband needs me to, to be more excited about the future.
54. My husband needs me to show our girls how to specifically be certified wives and mothers.
55. My husband needs me to keep people from asking him for money.
56. My husband needs me to need him.
57. My husband needs me to cause, inspire and challenge his personal growth only the way that a wife can.
58. My husband needs me to make him know that he's irreplaceable.
59. My husband needs me to reproduce his genes responsibly in and out of the womb.
60. My husband needs me to wash his clothes.
61. My husband needs me to build with.
62. My husband needs me for generational success.
PLUS, MANY MORE THINGS.
These are the reasons your husband needs you as posted on Facebook:
My husband needs me for many things daily, several things on a weekly basis, and many more second by second. Here is the partial list.
1. My husband needs me to make him feel highly respected, to increase his success.
2. My husband needs me to have someone to protect.
3. My husband needs me to make him feel safe to privately express his deepest feelings.
4. My husband needs me to be proud of the way that he is.
5. My husband needs me to raise the children well, especially while he's at work.
6. My husband needs me to keep our home lovely.
7. My husband needs me as co-captain of his leadership.
8. My husband needs me for creating full and meaningful memories.
9. My husband needs me to show the children how a woman loves and should be loved.
10. My husband needs me to want him physically, show it, and say that too.
11. My husband needs me to sweetly feed him emotionally, physically, spiritually & intellectually.
12. My husband needs me to make his life beautiful.
13. My husband needs me to balance our children's moods with my feminine energy.
14. My husband needs me to hold the baby while he eats with his knife and fork.
15. My husband needs me to keep track of details concerning the children and their daily development.
16. I need my husband needs me to hold up family reputation during his working hours.
17. My husband needs me to know how to keep the home peaceful.
18. My husband needs me to be his prize & pursuit.
19. My husband needs me to encourage him.
20. My husband needs me to find great experiences for our family during his working hours.
21. My husband needs me to bring honor to his name and legacy.
22. My husband needs me to nurture him into becoming his best self.
23. My husband needs me to inspire his choices & goals.
24. My husband needs me to see possible drama that he might not recognize.
25. My husband needs me to set the standard for how others respect him everywhere.
26. My husband needs me to be the steward of his health.
27. My husband needs me, in order to have a complete family.
28. My husband needs me to deeply share love with.
29. My husband needs me to uplift his masculinity.
30. My husband needs me to share joy with.
31. My husband needs me to bring a soothing
energy to our home and family.
32. My husband needs me to empower him, who then empowers our family.
33. My husband needs me to make our children feel valued and loved.
34. My husband needs me to keep drama and finances in their proper place.
35. My husband needs me to raise the children well, while he's away.
36. My husband needs me to grocery shop.
37. My husband needs me to shop for our family's clothing, while he's at work.
38. My husband needs me to positively affect his character.
39. My husband needs me to pack his lunches for work.
40. My husband needs me to help keep extended family close.
41. My husband needs me to cheer him up.
42. My husband needs me to sit with the baby, when she's crying, while he's driving.
43. My husband needs me for him to get benefits offered to family men.
44. My husband needs me to educate our children academically.
45. My husband needs me to elevate his social status.
46. My husband needs me to cater our functions.
47. My husband needs me to prevent the children from wasting.
48. My husband needs me to keep traditions alive.
49. My husband needs me to stay on his financial plan.
50. My husband needs me to understand him.
51. My husband needs me to always consider his feelings first.
52. My husband needs me to bring our daughters to public restrooms.
53. My husband needs me to, to be more excited about the future.
54. My husband needs me to show our girls how to specifically be certified wives and mothers.
55. My husband needs me to keep people from asking him for money.
56. My husband needs me to need him.
57. My husband needs me to cause, inspire and challenge his personal growth only the way that a wife can.
58. My husband needs me to make him know that he's irreplaceable.
59. My husband needs me to reproduce his genes responsibly in and out of the womb.
60. My husband needs me to wash his clothes.
61. My husband needs me to build with.
62. My husband needs me for generational success.
PLUS, MANY MORE THINGS.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
54. Correcting people who did not ask to be corrected in American, rude, and masculine. Example is when someone mispronounced your name. You don't have to address it right then and then rudely. You can wait and correct them in private as not to humiliate them.
55. Be truly compassionate: in the grocery store, Instagram DM's, Facebook, your child's school, work pause say hello or good morning/afternoon. How are you today? Wait for the answer. Then go with conversation. We often rush everything. You see someone in Kroger/Walmart we are quit to ask a worker where is xyz. Instead pause. Ask how they are doing. Listen for the answer. Then continue.
56.
Get ready for bed and dinner Teach your daughter this too. This goes into rushing for everything. When you work so much you find yourself rushing to the next phase in life to be on time. Take time. Dinner is about to be served? (As a family and I hope on real plates) let your little girl set the table and then go to the bathroom to freshen up. Let her look in the mirror, put on body mist or something, wash her hands, check her appearance and then return back to dinner. For bed? Have a loose bedtime schedule. Bath, put nice pajamas on, read a book or drink something, relax in bed and etc. teach girls to take in the experience and not be so rushed at all times.
55. Be truly compassionate: in the grocery store, Instagram DM's, Facebook, your child's school, work pause say hello or good morning/afternoon. How are you today? Wait for the answer. Then go with conversation. We often rush everything. You see someone in Kroger/Walmart we are quit to ask a worker where is xyz. Instead pause. Ask how they are doing. Listen for the answer. Then continue.
56.
Get ready for bed and dinner Teach your daughter this too. This goes into rushing for everything. When you work so much you find yourself rushing to the next phase in life to be on time. Take time. Dinner is about to be served? (As a family and I hope on real plates) let your little girl set the table and then go to the bathroom to freshen up. Let her look in the mirror, put on body mist or something, wash her hands, check her appearance and then return back to dinner. For bed? Have a loose bedtime schedule. Bath, put nice pajamas on, read a book or drink something, relax in bed and etc. teach girls to take in the experience and not be so rushed at all times.
I like all 3 of these.
Re: #55, a few weeks ago I was at Chipotle and there was this older lady in front of me trying to quickly gather her forks, napkins etc. I noticed her rushing, so I told her to take her time, that I wasn't in any rush. Yall I swear this lady teared up. She said people always seemed to be impatient with her and the older she got, the slower she got and the more she felt like she was holding people up and that she appreciated my kindness. It really made me think.
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
@Zaynab did you ever start that thread? I'd love to hear further thoughts on these topics.
That's a good idea. I can start one
ETA: @Southernbella. was my mentee and can attest to this yet she still manages to be a feminist by day so it's possible to do both
I missed this tag but yes
I live by the credo that none of that stuff has anything to do with dh. I don't need to debate him or talk about any of this with him because his job is to take care of his family, which he does. I have yall, my classmates, and a few homeboys to argue with.
I've been talking to my homegirl about this. She's very militant and she was telling me one day that she doesn't know where she'll find a bm who isnt homophobic, not a misogynist, who is for trans rights, who is willing to believe this and that, blah blah. I told her it's not his job to believe what she believes. I'm hoping I can get through to her. She's of the Tumblr activist generation so it's gonna be hard. They have questionnaires and ish, stuff they ask every potential mate to make sure he's woke.
NO. That's not how this works.
I didn't start the thread I forgot. My bad
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I'm going to definitely make sure I don't rush and am deliberate with my time. It's been a true game changer in my life. I've gotten more tidbits in life because I have slowed down and started being more empathetic.
MissNina
Libra Girl
@Zaynab @Southernbella. So are one of you accepting new mentee applications or nah?
Lol I think I'm good at a lot of this stuff naturally. My mom is southern & very balanced - incredibly traditional in her marriage/personal life, yet very financially independent - but now that I'm going to be transitioning to wife I want to make sure I'm going about things right. My mom, aunt, & close friend are probably the perfect women to go to for these matters, but I don't believe in letting family and friends too much in marital (or soon-to-be marital ) business. Marriage is totally different from dating or even our LTR IMO, so I'm trying to mentally make that switch and keep most things under wraps.
Lol I think I'm good at a lot of this stuff naturally. My mom is southern & very balanced - incredibly traditional in her marriage/personal life, yet very financially independent - but now that I'm going to be transitioning to wife I want to make sure I'm going about things right. My mom, aunt, & close friend are probably the perfect women to go to for these matters, but I don't believe in letting family and friends too much in marital (or soon-to-be marital
) business. Marriage is totally different from dating or even our LTR IMO, so I'm trying to mentally make that switch and keep most things under wraps.
PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
Ro's thoughts towards giving children materialistics things
My father once burned a $100 bill that my sister and I were arguing over. "No amount of money should ever come between you" he said. "Money is only an illusion & a human tool."
Few more tips:
1. Taking things from a child is NOT emotional cruelty! Wow, how materialistic you've shown yourselves to be, if you believe this.
2. No gift or money spent is more valuable than the proper upbringing of your child as a stellar adult, with compassion for people NOT higher value of things.
3. If you tell your child in advance that certain bad behavior will cause you to throw away gifts, and they do that behavior, there's absolutely nothing wrong with throwing away those gifts.
4. Material items are NOT needed to make your child feel loved.
5. If you spend 1 million dollars on a gift & taking it back or throwing it out, will teach your child a valuable lesson, choosing to give them the gift is BAD PARENTING.
6. Tell your child in advance that if they don't show genuine appreciation for a gift, you're taking it back, and not giving gifts the next event...THEN DO EXACTLY THAT!
7. In the wise words of my father, "It takes balls to be a good parent."
8. Brats or ill mannered children do NOT deserve or need ONE SINGLE GIFT! Give them one thing, and you deserve a bratty, disrespectful 2017.
My father once burned a $100 bill that my sister and I were arguing over. "No amount of money should ever come between you" he said. "Money is only an illusion & a human tool."
Few more tips:
1. Taking things from a child is NOT emotional cruelty! Wow, how materialistic you've shown yourselves to be, if you believe this.
2. No gift or money spent is more valuable than the proper upbringing of your child as a stellar adult, with compassion for people NOT higher value of things.
3. If you tell your child in advance that certain bad behavior will cause you to throw away gifts, and they do that behavior, there's absolutely nothing wrong with throwing away those gifts.
4. Material items are NOT needed to make your child feel loved.
5. If you spend 1 million dollars on a gift & taking it back or throwing it out, will teach your child a valuable lesson, choosing to give them the gift is BAD PARENTING.
6. Tell your child in advance that if they don't show genuine appreciation for a gift, you're taking it back, and not giving gifts the next event...THEN DO EXACTLY THAT!
7. In the wise words of my father, "It takes balls to be a good parent."
8. Brats or ill mannered children do NOT deserve or need ONE SINGLE GIFT! Give them one thing, and you deserve a bratty, disrespectful 2017.
My boys do all of these things. And trust, it works.
Oh yes members always PM me.@Zaynab @Southernbella. So are one of you accepting new mentee applications or nah?
Lol I think I'm good at a lot of this stuff naturally. My mom is southern & very balanced - incredibly traditional in her marriage/personal life, yet very financially independent - but now that I'm going to be transitioning to wife I want to make sure I'm going about things right. My mom, aunt, & close friend are probably the perfect women to go to for these matters, but I don't believe in letting family and friends too much in marital (or soon-to-be marital
I try to be thoughtful in my replies but I can be a bit harsh when it's necessary so just know that upfront. I taught @Southernbella. back in the day so she's my prized student/baby sister
I missed this reply. I think you told me about her. She'll stay single or end up with a beta husband, who three kids later won't know how to the the family leader she will end up wanting. Ladies, either you want to run the show or you want a man who does.I missed this tag but yes
I live by the credo that none of that stuff has anything to do with dh. I don't need to debate him or talk about any of this with him because his job is to take care of his family, which he does. I have yall, my classmates, and a few homeboys to argue with.
I've been talking to my homegirl about this. She's very militant and she was telling me one day that she doesn't know where she'll find a bm who isnt homophobic, not a misogynist, who is for trans rights, who is willing to believe this and that, blah blah. I told her it's not his job to believe what she believes. I'm hoping I can get through to her. She's of the Tumblr activist generation so it's gonna be hard. They have questionnaires and ish, stuff they ask every potential mate to make sure he's woke.
NO. That's not how this works.
Before we start a real wife school thread, some of y'all need the basics Dating for Marriage
@Femmefatal1981 What do you think?
MissNina
Libra Girl
Oh yes members always PM me.
I taught @Southernbella. back in the day so she's my prized student/baby sister
Awwww yayyyy!
Lemme get ready
lmaoI am never rushed. I know we had a thread before about women who were never rushed and looked well cared for.
I try to be kind and soft in my interactions with people. Dh literally just said to me I love how you greet everyone even at McDonald's and you're so nice to them.
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