Why is it wrong for the wife to stay home.

[IntoMyhair]

I keep getting the impression. That for a wife to stay at home and take care of home. While the husband works it's looked down on. Am i wrong? I personally think that in my situation. I put in my time of working a full time job and mentally and physically being supportive of him. That now he can take over while i take care of kids and home. Why is it wrong when i woman has a husband that tells her "baby you sit back and let me do this, I'll take care of the family".

Why does it seem that she Has to have a job? That she is trifling if she does not.


Thoughts.

 

[drasgrl]

Who says it's wrong? I wish I could stay home and have someone pay my bills, shoot.

 

[blasianbeauty]

When it comes down to it, every couple has to do what's right for them. While some women would prefer to hold a full time job, others may choose to stay at home. And of course the man has to be supportive and not be selfish if she chooses to do so. It's really not right or wrong, just do what works for you and your home. With that being said, if the man doesn't want you staying at home, that means it won't work out no matter how bad the woman wants to.

 

[BillsBackerz67]

I dont think its a bad thing or looked down upon it just depends on the couple. I personally wouldnt mind stayinghome for X amount of time if we had kids. But after they go to school I cant see myself being home all day. I would at least have a part time job.

 

[sunnydaze]

You have one camp who doesn't see full time homemaking as a "real job".

You have another who believes that women lose too much of their power by staying at home and letting the man 100% financially support the family.

Then you have another camp who sees a black woman full time homemaker as a foreign concept (something that only white women do).

Then you have the last group, who just wishes it could be them and passive-aggressively directs their resentment towards you.


I think its a great thing you can stay home and nuture your family full time.

 

[MD_Lady]

As long as it's what's best for both parties, I don't see what the big deal is.

 

[IntoMyhair]

ok with all that you guys are saying. Than for example the whole real housewives serious on bravo. I see the threads and replys everywhere saying not so nice things about those wives that stay home. Than i can't judge them because i don't know there situation.

 

[tmichelle]

Sometimes you just have to tune people out.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I dont think its a bad thing or looked down upon it just depends on the couple. I personally wouldnt mind stayinghome for X amount of time if we had kids. But after they go to school I cant see myself being home all day. I would at least have a part time job.

This is the situation with my husband and myself. I have had part-time jobs, or at tiimes no job at all, just so I could be able to drop off and pick up our kids from school, and be home with them so we don't have to pay for daycare. It was always important that at least one of us was home for the kids. Now that they are older it's no problem for me to be employed full-time, and even then, we make sure that someone can drop off our youngest daughter and pick her up from school, she's 11 and I just don't feel comfortable with her being home alone yet.

 

[MuseofTroy]

I keep getting the impression. That for a wife to stay at home and take care of home. While the husband works it's looked down on. Am i wrong? I personally think that in my situation. I put in my time of working a full time job and mentally and physically being supportive of him. That now he can take over while i take care of kids and home. Why is it wrong when i woman has a husband that tells her "baby you sit back and let me do this, I'll take care of the family".

Why does it seem that she Has to have a job? That she is trifling if she does not.


Thoughts.

Consider it a blessing that you have the ability to stay at home and be a mother. Anyone who tells your otherwise is probably jealous. Although I do consider myself a career woman, I think being a mom is the most difficult job in the world. A true household manager is an 80 hr a week job. Personally when I have children I would like to stay at home at least until they are able to talk. People are untrustworthy these days and I'll be damned if some random person will take care of my kids.

 

[Ramya]

I'm not sure why people look down on it, but if my future husband wants children, a clean home and dinner on the table then I expect him to be able to provide financially so that I don't have to be superwoman. Matter of fact, I refuse to be superwoman . I have ZERO plans to work fulltime while caring for my home and family. Every man I've dated was OK with that and that's all that matters to me.

 

[BlueNile]

I keep getting the impression. That for a wife to stay at home and take care of home. While the husband works it's looked down on. Am i wrong? I personally think that in my situation. I put in my time of working a full time job and mentally and physically being supportive of him. That now he can take over while i take care of kids and home. Why is it wrong when i woman has a husband that tells her "baby you sit back and let me do this, I'll take care of the family".

Why does it seem that she Has to have a job? That she is trifling if she does not.


Thoughts.

Honey! Who said it was wrong? If we were in the position to do it, I'd do it in a minute. And while this may not be a popular opinion, this is the way God intended it to be. Housewife, mother, wife...those are all jobs. Jobs without pay, but jobs that have tremendous personal satisfaction. Hats off to all of us that do those jobs on top of going to work 8 hours a day! All my husband has to do is even fix his mouf (yes, mouf) to say 'baby you don't have to w...'and that's it!

 

[LadyPaniolo]

Lord knows we SAHMs get lots of lip about our choice... I stopped listening to Michael Baisden when he agreed with a male caller who said he divorced his wife for staying home with the kids. Seems like a man would want a woman who was a dedicated mother.

I don't understand how some people can be so blase about leaving thier kids with strangers for 50 hours a week. (I know not all WOHMs are this way. Some have no choice) I bend over backwards to be able to stay home with my kiddoes.

 

[Theo]

I don't have a problem with it. I doubt I would do it personally, but only because I feel like I would get bored, and also because I want to use the education that I'm attaining now.

 

[Farida]

ok with all that you guys are saying. Than for example the whole real housewives serious on bravo. I see the threads and replys everywhere saying not so nice things about those wives that stay home. Than i can't judge them because i don't know there situation.

I haven't seen the ATL version, but I watched the O.C. and I remember one of the ladies stayed home. Yet, she had no children and had paid people to cook and clean. Now, that's looked upon, because that's just someone sitting on her butt all day while her husband worked hard.

 

[IntoMyhair]

You guys are so correct on several things that you said.
Thanks

 

[MzRhonda]

I keep getting the impression. That for a wife to stay at home and take care of home. While the husband works it's looked down on. Am i wrong? I personally think that in my situation. I put in my time of working a full time job and mentally and physically being supportive of him. That now he can take over while i take care of kids and home. Why is it wrong when i woman has a husband that tells her "baby you sit back and let me do this, I'll take care of the family".

Why does it seem that she Has to have a job? That she is trifling if she does not.


Thoughts.

I think it is frowned upon in the black community more than any other.

 

[hunnyhun921]

I would love to stay home. It's about what works for your family. Don't worry about what other people think. Every household is different. Staying home and taking care of the kids and house is alot of work also!

 

[MD_Lady]

Lord knows we SAHMs get lots of lip about our choice... I stopped listening to Michael Baisden when he agreed with a male caller who said he divorced his wife for staying home with the kids. Seems like a man would want a woman who was a dedicated mother.

I don't understand how some people can be so blase about leaving thier kids with strangers for 50 hours a week. (I know not all WOHMs are this way. Some have no choice) I bend over backwards to be able to stay home with my kiddoes.

What was the basis for his decision to leave? My mom left the workforce when I was in elementary school and things worked well because both of my parents felt it was the best decision for their family. IMO, people don't look at the decision for a woman to stay home for what it is: a life choice people should discuss before they get married and come to an agreement on before anyone makes any decisions. No disrespect to anyone, but again IMO/E, when people have strong feelings for or against the wife being a SAHM, it's hard for them to have an objective view of the realities associated with her staying in versus leaving the workforce.

 

[DarkHair]

As long as it's what's best for both parties, I don't see what the big deal is.

The comment that ALL that I wanted to do is be a housewife was said by my SIL while we were dating. Now that it HAS TO happen to me right now (she and I are now BOTH unemployed) I feel bad. BUT, I am in school, the house is clean, and food is always here. Betwixt me and him, it's okay especially since he works so much. Though I am looking for a job, I STILL remember her words. I understand that what happens in THIS HOUSE is no one's business or concern.

 

[frankie]

It is not wrong for a wife to stay home. If she and her husband agree and budget for a one income household, great for them!!!

 

[cocosweet]

Consider it a blessing that you have the ability to stay at home and be a mother. Anyone who tells your otherwise is probably jealous. Although I do consider myself a career woman, I think being a mom is the most difficult job in the world. A true household manager is an 80 hr a week job. Personally when I have children I would like to stay at home at least until they are able to talk. People are untrustworthy these days and I'll be damned if some random person will take care of my kids.

Cosigning, especially on the bolded. If I have to tell one more person why I am not leaving my 9month old, can't speak for herself yet daughter in daycare, I'm going to shank someone.

 

[godzooki]

I've had to literally defend what I do all day as a SAHM compared to some mothers that work. Seriously. In the same day after mentioning how many kids I have I've had one Black female look me up and down and go "You don't work? Hrumph. Must be nice NOT to work." and a White woman raise her eyes and go "I KNOW you don't work outside of the home."

I've gotten the biggest criticism from my own mom and sister. My hubby's family expect no less than me staying home but my family act like I'm riding the hog on easy street. I'm the only one in my family who does stay home with the kids where as in hubby's family it's expected that the wives stay home. At the most they have a part time or VERY flexible job.

 

[Paradox]

No worries..it leaves more outside jobs for me.

 

[sky_blu]

ok with all that you guys are saying. Than for example the whole real housewives serious on bravo. I see the threads and replys everywhere saying not so nice things about those wives that stay home. Than i can't judge them because i don't know there situation.

I think that show is a bad example because not all of them are wives. And the ones that are wives, their not SAHMs. And that show, shows the snoodiest, cattiest females which is why I think people reply negatively (such as myself) about the show.

Personally, I wouldnt mind staying home with the kids and tending to the house. I would much prefer that than be at a job where Im underappreciated.

 

[pisceschica]

I dont' think anything is wrong with it. I would just be worried that if my husband wasn't banking some serious money what is going to happen to me if the marriage should go sour?

 

[MizAvalon]

I think it is frowned upon in the black community more than any other.

Yes, it is because black women are supposed to be work horses that carry the entire world on their back. Better not ever depend on any man because you will probably end up doing it alone anyway! Oh, and staying home and caring for your family is only for white women.

I know very few(if any) working mothers that wouldn't like the option of staying home, or at least, more help. Let's see, work 14 hours a day out of the home at an office or stay home and nurture and care for my child? Such a dilemma.

 

[MizAvalon]

What was the basis for his decision to leave? My mom left the workforce when I was in elementary school and things worked well because both of my parents felt it was the best decision for their family. IMO, people don't look at the decision for a woman to stay home for what it is: a life choice people should discuss before they get married and come to an agreement on before anyone makes any decisions. No disrespect to anyone, but again IMO/E, when people have strong feelings for or against the wife being a SAHM, it's hard for them to have an objective view of the realities associated with her staying in versus leaving the workforce.

Completely agree with this. When I'm dating/getting to know someone, I find out early on what his views are on this. If he's against his wife being a homemaker, then he gets dropped.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Two words: Women's Liberation



Although I appreciate all the hard work and blood, sweat and tears that were put into affording me the right to choose, I think it has gotten overlooked that there is sometimes an option for the choice to stay home. I'm not married, but I would have no problem being married and my husband asking me to stay home and hold down the home front. So long as it was not for some chauvinistic reasons. Shoot, I feel that anyone who stays home, man or woman, deserves an award and a check from somewhere because it is a job that is full time, overtime, on call, no holiday, no benefits, no vacation, no sick day and NO PAY! You have to be a maid, nurse, teacher, sex therapist, chef, chauffeur, chaperon, coach, volunteer, and you still have to find time in there to take care of your basic needs and keep yourself looking presentable as not to embarrass your family whom you basically work for. WHEW!!! glad I got that out. I feel better now.

 

[MizAvalon]

I've had to literally defend what I do all day as a SAHM compared to some mothers that work. Seriously. In the same day after mentioning how many kids I have I've had one Black female look me up and down and go "You don't work? Hrumph. Must be nice NOT to work." and a White woman raise her eyes and go "I KNOW you don't work outside of the home."

I've gotten the biggest criticism from my own mom and sister. My hubby's family expect no less than me staying home but my family act like I'm riding the hog on easy street. I'm the only one in my family who does stay home with the kids where as in hubby's family it's expected that the wives stay home. At the most they have a part time or VERY flexible job.

Unbelievable. You are RAISING FOUR HUMAN BEINGS!! Unless they are curing cancer or performing neurosurgery, whatever they did at work doesn't compare to what you are doing.