Who has Actually Given Up on Black Men...What Did it for You?
- Thread starter Shimmie
- Start date
WomanlyCharm
New Member
*falling out*
Ohhhhhh Shimmie, why you starting something?
Ohhhhhh Shimmie, why you starting something?
Divalicious
New Member
LOL, I came in here to read some replies to the question....someone answer please
bravenewgirl87
New Member
Sometimes I get very FRUSTRATED with them...
But, everytime I consider it, either another race man acts a fool in front of me or is on the news for a heinous crime... OR.. I read ebony or watch TVOne and see a black man suceeding. Its very refreshing to see and hear good things about the "brothas"; It snaps me back to reality.
But, everytime I consider it, either another race man acts a fool in front of me or is on the news for a heinous crime... OR.. I read ebony or watch TVOne and see a black man suceeding. Its very refreshing to see and hear good things about the "brothas"; It snaps me back to reality.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Okay, I'll bite, lol.
I wouldn't say I've given up, but I'm very jaded. Ya'll know the story so I'm not gonna go into details. I just see so many brothas who aren't living up to their potential and it frustrates me. I see so brothas hurt and disrespect the women that truly love them. Now I know that all races have their bad apples, but since my preference is Black men, that's where my concern lies.
I think what keeps me from actually getting to that point of giving up our men is thinking about the ones that I know who don't fit into those catagories. My brother is almost 24, no childen, never been arrested, doesn't get into relationships unless he's sure he wants to be exclusive with that person. Or the old college friend I ran into the other day who is married to a woman I'm friends with and is now the proud father of a beautiful baby girl. Those and others in my life are the ones that keep me from abandoning all hope.
I wouldn't say I've given up, but I'm very jaded. Ya'll know the story so I'm not gonna go into details. I just see so many brothas who aren't living up to their potential and it frustrates me. I see so brothas hurt and disrespect the women that truly love them. Now I know that all races have their bad apples, but since my preference is Black men, that's where my concern lies.
I think what keeps me from actually getting to that point of giving up our men is thinking about the ones that I know who don't fit into those catagories. My brother is almost 24, no childen, never been arrested, doesn't get into relationships unless he's sure he wants to be exclusive with that person. Or the old college friend I ran into the other day who is married to a woman I'm friends with and is now the proud father of a beautiful baby girl. Those and others in my life are the ones that keep me from abandoning all hope.
prettypuff1
New Member
I am close to it. I just can;t seem to find anyone to even talk to intellegently. I have to endure conversations that can't even get beyond a basic level. I think there is a lack of good black men out there due to outside influences, but i am not ready to give up yet... i know the problem exists in other races, but man it is an epidemic with us.
Summer_Rain
Well-Known Member
Shimmie said:I was just curious, that's all....
"News at 11"
The Last One Standing...A Good Black Man
... But on which Leg?
lol. You ain't right for this one Shimmie!!!
When it's all said and done, I feel like if I give up on black men - I'd be giving up on my son. So no, I haven't. But at the same time, I can't say that I have full faith and trust in black men in general. Maybe a particular one - but as a whole....eh. not so much
SummerRain said:
Whhhaaaaat...
I....was....just....curious. With all of the IR, Black, White, Asian, threads, I was just wondering if any of us have really given up on our 'men.'
SummerRain, you put it so beautifully about your son. For I feel the same way about my son, son-in-law, my dad (though he's passed on), my uncles, my granddad, , my grandsons, my nephews, dear friends of mine...even one who's very, very special, I can't give up on our Black men.
Even the ones who behave like fools, I still love them...all. I'm not willing to give them up; for who else can love them better than we can...our handsome Black men.
DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
Anybody who thinks they're giving up on Black men and consequently date exclusively outside of the race as a way to run away from black manhood is in for a rude awakening. 
What happens when you start having children?
I am raising a bi-racial boy, but bi-racial is a technical term and most people don't concern themselves with technicalities. He will be considered black by the society at large, so I am raising a black boy. How can I give up on black men?
I am careful about what he reads, what shows he watches, and what music he listens too. I try to expose him to as many positive black figures as I can. I push him to be his best. I give him love and I keep my fingers crossed.
What happens when you start having children?I am raising a bi-racial boy, but bi-racial is a technical term and most people don't concern themselves with technicalities. He will be considered black by the society at large, so I am raising a black boy. How can I give up on black men?
I am careful about what he reads, what shows he watches, and what music he listens too. I try to expose him to as many positive black figures as I can. I push him to be his best. I give him love and I keep my fingers crossed.
Hidden_Angel
New Member
Jessy55 said:Anybody who thinks they're giving up on Black men and consequently date exclusively outside of the race as a way to run away from black manhood is in for a rude awakening.
I am raising a bi-racial boy, but bi-racial is a technical term and most people don't concern themselves with technicalities. He will be considered black by the society at large, so I am raising a black boy. How can I give up on black men?
I am careful about what he reads, what shows he watches, and what music he listens too. I try to expose him to as many positive black figures as I can. I push him to be his best. I give him love and I keep my fingers crossed.
very well put
I agree with you whole heartly
LoveLiLi
Well-Known Member
I can't say that I've given up on black men, that would make me feel like those idiots on tv who've had bad experiences with black women and then disown us. I heard one black man say "If you ever see me with a black woman I'm holding her for the police"
. I never want to get to that point, so when I catch myself making generalizations based on my negative experiences I remind myself to give each new person a chance to show me who they are instead of just writing them off. Besides, black men are too sexy for me to give up on them, lol.
. I never want to get to that point, so when I catch myself making generalizations based on my negative experiences I remind myself to give each new person a chance to show me who they are instead of just writing them off. Besides, black men are too sexy for me to give up on them, lol.WomanlyCharm
New Member
Shimmie said:I was just curious, that's all....
"News at 11"
The Last One Standing...A Good Black Man
... But on which Leg?
O.k., that really made me laugh!
I'll never give up on black men. How would I feel if my mom had given up on my dad? Or some women gave up on my wonderful brothers?
I know way too many great black men and boys out there who are working hard, doing all they can to be successful and productive husbands and fathers.
I may not end up with a black man *sigh* but hey, I'm not turning my back on them.
Summer_Rain
Well-Known Member
I was raised by my father. My grandparents have been married for over 50yrs, and with my grandmothers recent failing health - I've never seen my granddad be more gentle, nurturing and protective. My uncles are all hard hard working men, we had a family business. I recall my aunt losing her job, my uncle took on 3 - worked 24 hr days at times, not just to make ends meet. But to provide in the ABUNDANCE.
So I could never turn my back on the example they've set. Now MY generation of black men???
See me tomorrow on that one! lol
So I could never turn my back on the example they've set. Now MY generation of black men???
See me tomorrow on that one! lol
Jessy55 said:Anybody who thinks they're giving up on Black men and consequently date exclusively outside of the race as a way to run away from black manhood is in for a rude awakening.
I am raising a bi-racial boy, but bi-racial is a technical term and most people don't concern themselves with technicalities. He will be considered black by the society at large, so I am raising a black boy. How can I give up on black men?
I am careful about what he reads, what shows he watches, and what music he listens too. I try to expose him to as many positive black figures as I can. I push him to be his best. I give him love and I keep my fingers crossed.
This is beautifully said...and more true than we realize.
sunnydaze
Well-Known Member
SummerRain said:
I think those of us who were fortunate enough to have father, uncles, grandfathers, etc who were hard working and providers, have a harder time b/c we really expect the same from our generatation of men. Sometimes I think I would have been better off not knowing what men are supposed to be doing.
erplexed
Glib Gurl
Well-Known Member
I agree with SummerRain's sentiment. Whenever I get frustrated I think about the two black men I am closest to -- my father and my brother -- and I feel reassured. Yes, they are triflin' sometimes (who isn't?) but overall they are good, decent people.
Shimmie you have given me an idea for a follow-up thread . . . more drama to ensue
Shimmie you have given me an idea for a follow-up thread . . . more drama to ensue
seraphinelle
Well-Known Member
SummerRain said:
That is SO true!!
I have no comments for this thread.
I haven't given up on black men. Or any men for that matter.
FlowerHair
Reclaiming my time
I would never give up on a race. I'm just looking for a decent, nice, loving man regardless of color. Color is actually the last thing on my mind.
FRO-EVER 21
New Member
Some of yall holding your tongues......... As many IR threads on this board.... come on now.
btw, I love black men.
btw, I love black men.
Browndilocks
Browndisha Brownie Sundae
What did it for me was all of these 
threads. 
threads. Similar threads
