natural2008
Well-Known Member
And let the church say amen.
This Was His Last Time Telling Me "this Is My House!!!"...
- Thread starter PeaceLover
- Start date
And let the church say amen.
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
Why is it triffling people call on the lord only when they're caught doing shady ish then soon go back to their b.s? I want to add that I am only referencing the Bible because he's the one asking the Lord to work on your relationship....
1)He could've called on the Lord after knocking up his 1st baby mamma and not committing
2)He could've called on the Lord when he knocked up the second without committing.
3) He could've called on the Lord after getting suspended from work for drinking excessively.
4) He could've called on the Lord after making stupid high risk choice after choice.
5) He could've called on the Lord after criticizing you for not cooking when he wanted while he sat on his butt.
6) He could've called on the Lord after criticizing you for not wanting to watch a tribe of children from his side of the family while he sat on his butt.
7) He could've called on the Lord before succumbing to cheating (for I am sure more than one time despite what he says).
8) He could've called on the Lord while hiding a baby and lying to you about why people were calling you.
9) He could've called on the Lord before omitting that the baby was his while meanwhile signing for a house so that you would feel obligated to stay as he would have leverage.
10) He could've called on the Lord while asking you to get out the house the first and second time.
11) And almost forgot he could've called on the Lord when he was making you feel bad about black features while praising mixed. And I won't even get into other stuff like living together before marriage, etc etc that is not the biz in the Bible and hey he is all about calling on the Lord but definitely not about doing what is called for Biblically. I mention him because he's the one walking around praying for your relationship (no doubt as he holds his Bible piously).
Uhmm....sooo yeah
Now he's calling on the Lord to work on your relationship. Wish granted. That ish is broken for your good. YAY! I'd thank him that through prayer with the Lord's help you are coming to your senses.
If you go by the Bible and Christianity which seems to be his point of reference, the man is supposed to follow God as the head and he sure isn't even trying. If you look at his actions in reference to the Bible, he's pretty much following the deceiver/father of lies right now and that ain't God.
So...uhm yeah. Thanks for the prayer dude.
1)He could've called on the Lord after knocking up his 1st baby mamma and not committing
2)He could've called on the Lord when he knocked up the second without committing.
3) He could've called on the Lord after getting suspended from work for drinking excessively.
4) He could've called on the Lord after making stupid high risk choice after choice.
5) He could've called on the Lord after criticizing you for not cooking when he wanted while he sat on his butt.
6) He could've called on the Lord after criticizing you for not wanting to watch a tribe of children from his side of the family while he sat on his butt.
7) He could've called on the Lord before succumbing to cheating (for I am sure more than one time despite what he says).
8) He could've called on the Lord while hiding a baby and lying to you about why people were calling you.
9) He could've called on the Lord before omitting that the baby was his while meanwhile signing for a house so that you would feel obligated to stay as he would have leverage.
10) He could've called on the Lord while asking you to get out the house the first and second time.
11) And almost forgot he could've called on the Lord when he was making you feel bad about black features while praising mixed. And I won't even get into other stuff like living together before marriage, etc etc that is not the biz in the Bible and hey he is all about calling on the Lord but definitely not about doing what is called for Biblically. I mention him because he's the one walking around praying for your relationship (no doubt as he holds his Bible piously).
Uhmm....sooo yeah
Now he's calling on the Lord to work on your relationship. Wish granted. That ish is broken for your good. YAY! I'd thank him that through prayer with the Lord's help you are coming to your senses.
If you go by the Bible and Christianity which seems to be his point of reference, the man is supposed to follow God as the head and he sure isn't even trying. If you look at his actions in reference to the Bible, he's pretty much following the deceiver/father of lies right now and that ain't God.
So...uhm yeah. Thanks for the prayer dude.
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Reinventing21
Spreading my wings
^^^^Love it! Perfectly stated!
hopeful
Well-Known Member
My responses in red.
...
He told me he would be gone by 8am, but when I made it a 10am he was still here.
...
Still lying!
he seemed really sincere...the expression on his face was pitiful..
Textbook narcissist behavior! Down to the innocent, childlike facial expression and attitude. Don't fall for the okie doke. There is a reason it is recommended to go NO CONTACT. Please don't go to his place anymore alone.
...
I just can't handle seeing him again. It's hard when I look at him...
You are hooked on him, like a drug. That's why you need to go cold turkey and get him out of your system. He knows exactly what to say and do to get to you. You are like prey to him. He knows exactly what to do and say to pull at your heartstrings. But it has nothing to do with him caring about you. It is about him getting his way, him winning, and maintaining his control and power over you. It is a game for him.
Bunnyhaslonghair
Ebonics Queen
Congrats op! You are doing a good job!
meka72
Well-Known Member
I can't stand men who use the Lord to get over on women. I didn't think I could like this guy any less.
@PeaceLover, it gets easier as time goes on. We are proud of you for moving forward!
@PeaceLover, it gets easier as time goes on. We are proud of you for moving forward!
Leeda.the.Paladin
Well-Known Member
OP I don't post much in this area but I read through your situation and it's eerily like that of a friend of mine.
Except she stayed with the dude and married him. He has since given her an STD twice (once while she was pregnant), had another baby outside their marriage, been caught cheating with the next door neighbor. He repeatedly threatens her with leaving or throwing her out of the house when she confronts him. Women call her all the time, hanging up, taunting. She is still with him though.
And I went to high school with this dude and he seemed like he nicest guy. He is the devil and the man you were with sounds like the devil too. The most dangerous characteristic of a man like that is that he can be charming and seem to have redeemed himself. Please stay strong. If not for yourself, then for your daughter. My friend admits that though it's hard on her ,it's worst on their kids. Don't let that be your future. You are doing great and it will get easier, promise!
Except she stayed with the dude and married him. He has since given her an STD twice (once while she was pregnant), had another baby outside their marriage, been caught cheating with the next door neighbor. He repeatedly threatens her with leaving or throwing her out of the house when she confronts him. Women call her all the time, hanging up, taunting. She is still with him though.
And I went to high school with this dude and he seemed like he nicest guy. He is the devil and the man you were with sounds like the devil too. The most dangerous characteristic of a man like that is that he can be charming and seem to have redeemed himself. Please stay strong. If not for yourself, then for your daughter. My friend admits that though it's hard on her ,it's worst on their kids. Don't let that be your future. You are doing great and it will get easier, promise!
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
LoveLiLi
Well-Known Member
Well, looks like even a demon can pray. Don't let this man guilt you with the bible and his tales about praying.
He doesn't believe in anything. Many people don't but are quick to use the bible against others. He couldn't do half of what he's done to you if he truly thought he was going to have to stand before his Creator and answer for his actions.
True story: I discovered my ex was on sex sites and had taken a secret vacation to hook up with women. When I confronted him he asked why I couldn't be the bigger person and told me my love wasn't perfect like God's love.
This man read the bible and prayed daily. What did it mean to him? Nothing. The most vile and lowly men I've ever come across will proudly brag about bible study, going to church etc.
Let it go in one ear and out the other. His actions have told you everything you need to know. By the way, why are you still communicating with him in any capacity?
He doesn't believe in anything. Many people don't but are quick to use the bible against others. He couldn't do half of what he's done to you if he truly thought he was going to have to stand before his Creator and answer for his actions.
True story: I discovered my ex was on sex sites and had taken a secret vacation to hook up with women. When I confronted him he asked why I couldn't be the bigger person and told me my love wasn't perfect like God's love.
This man read the bible and prayed daily. What did it mean to him? Nothing. The most vile and lowly men I've ever come across will proudly brag about bible study, going to church etc.
Let it go in one ear and out the other. His actions have told you everything you need to know. By the way, why are you still communicating with him in any capacity?
Naveah2050
Well-Known Member
Or if he was sleeping with her!!
OP you are very very young. 25 years is plenty time to make a whole new life for yourself, don't tie yourself down with a man with such baggage you will regret it for life if you do.
Ann816
Well-Known Member
Block her number too OP! You deserve so much more, not just for you but your daughter too...His mama keeps calling me trying to pray so the "devil" won't ruin our future. I don't want to be mean, but she won't leave me alone even though I asked nicely.
TayMac
Well-Known Member
OP rest assured that if you had done to him even a fraction of what he did....no amount of tears, promises, sad eyes or fake prayers would work. Most men are not as forgiving as they expect us to be.
Don't fall for his words and such. If he is there when you go get your stuff, leave and go back if possible.
Step by step and day by day.
Don't fall for his words and such. If he is there when you go get your stuff, leave and go back if possible.
Step by step and day by day.
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
Op someone needs to always be with you while you get your stuff or a male member of your family (preferably) go get your stuff for you. Make it so he can't talk to you because there are too many people around. I would not recommend going alone by yourself ever again. That way you won't be tempted remotely.
biznesswmn
Well-Known Member
Yeah girl men understand testosterone. take mookie and dem with u to get your stuff
And if he wont listen when u tell him and his mama to stop contacting u, let mookie and the goons handle itSeriously tho @PeaceLover u really do have your whole life ahead. I hope u r startg to feel good abt this relationship being over.
OP,
I'm so glad that you are not marrying this dude. Stay far, far away from him. He will bring you nothing but misery. Be grateful you are not his wife, or the mother of his kids. Fcuk him and his momma. You are young and you have a daughter. She is looking to you to teach her about love and relationships. This is not the example that you want to set for her in terms of how a man should treat you. I am sure she has seen enough. Don't go back. He is not a prize. I'm confident that this is his m.o. in relationships. He will continue to behave this way, don't let it be you continuing to put up with his ********.
I'm so glad that you are not marrying this dude. Stay far, far away from him. He will bring you nothing but misery. Be grateful you are not his wife, or the mother of his kids. Fcuk him and his momma. You are young and you have a daughter. She is looking to you to teach her about love and relationships. This is not the example that you want to set for her in terms of how a man should treat you. I am sure she has seen enough. Don't go back. He is not a prize. I'm confident that this is his m.o. in relationships. He will continue to behave this way, don't let it be you continuing to put up with his ********.
Leylu
Well-Known Member
I've been where OP is at, except I was the silly one begging him to come back and let's work it out even though he hurt me again and again. I was so broken and weak and felt like he was the best I can do. Healing hurts and I'm still healing from that situation, but I think you just have to go through the pain in order to find your peace and happiness again. I hope it doesn't take you long OP. Good luck. *hugs*
awhyley
Well-Known Member
What on earth? Just got into the thread, and this has been quite the roller coaster. Everything has been said, and then some. I can only add to take it day by day OP. There are more than enough reasons for you to stay away from this guy. He is bad news, the worse news. Thank goodness you never had kids for him and you called off that engagement. You're young, with the right healing (and LHCF guiding you) you'll bounce back in no time.
This man has taken to much of your time. Time to move on and actually love your life again! Have you been a hoe yet? Start your new hoe life
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
Don't take mookie and dem
but take Ray Ray (the guy without guns but he still doesn't take any s*&^)And yes I agree men understand testosterone. My uncles and big cousins just did this for an Aunt and she was married. She decided to get a divorce from her second husband (her first hubby was awesome but he died [medical issues] and she waited a decade to get re married only to marry this horrible excuse for a human being lying piece of...well you get my point). I'm sure her pride was on the line and she says she was tempted to stay married because of all of the issues (people talking, her religious beliefs, etc). She doesn't even believe in divorce but felt she had to for her own sanity and health.
Dude was trifling and didn't know what hit him: When she said she was going, she was GONE. He thought there was a chance for renegotiation and reconciliation. Nope. He was hanging around hoping she'd come back when he got his stuff. Nope. It was my four uncles and three big (like The Rock Big, Like Linebacker big) cousins to make sure he got his stuff out of there and not a trace of him was left (she owned the house btw). She stopped answering his calls and any pleas from relatives (they do that hun when they want you to stay with a horrible piece of crap cause they know you are the best thing that happened to him). She went to stay with her mom (my granny) for a while because she knew he'd be back with that baby please ish. She also knew that next door to my granny is my Uncle (and he IS crazy and won't take ish) and my other uncles were a phone call away. She stayed there while she filed for divorce. Everything happened so fast his head was spinning.
This is the best way to do it. Clean. Ole boy isn't going to cry to a bunch of men. All he can do is bite his trembling lip as they pick up your stuff. So let your family do this for you. This will work even at his place as they will come to pack your stuff, and you won't be anywhere to be found.
That doesn't mean my aunt wasn't heart broken. She's human. But ripping it off is the best and quickest way. It's painful but you'll heal faster than if you talk to him every other day about this stupid house that he choose to stay committed to. This way there is no way for him to weasel back in. If you don't have relatives, get some moving guys to go in on a specific day (without you).
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SelahOco
Well-Known Member
My ex did something terrible to me once. His mother called me and talked about God and forgiveness and told me to let it go.
I forgave him. Years later I asked her "if this had happened to one of your daughters would you have given her the same advice you gave me?"
She hesitated then answered, "no."
OP, don't fall for the okie doke. I'm telling you. I know your story more than I care to admit. The only way it ends well is if you leave.
People don't do this kind of behavior 'by mistake.' This is in him. It aint going nowhere. I wish I could make you see that and cease your heartbreak and doubt.
Block him out. You're going to do so much better dearheart.
I forgave him. Years later I asked her "if this had happened to one of your daughters would you have given her the same advice you gave me?"
She hesitated then answered, "no."
OP, don't fall for the okie doke. I'm telling you. I know your story more than I care to admit. The only way it ends well is if you leave.
People don't do this kind of behavior 'by mistake.' This is in him. It aint going nowhere. I wish I could make you see that and cease your heartbreak and doubt.
Block him out. You're going to do so much better dearheart.
PeaceLover
Well-Known Member
Update: I'm moving tomorrow & I got all my stuff. Thank you so much ladies for you advice and insight. Y'all made this decision easier for me and I'm feeling pretty optimistic. I'm taking some time to heal, but in the meantime I'm going to take @frogkisses advice too.
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
Update: I'm moving tomorrow & I got all my stuff. Thank you so much ladies for you advice and insight. Y'all made this decision easier for me and I'm feeling pretty optimistic. I'm taking some time to heal, but in the meantime I'm going to take @frogkisses advice too.
GetHappy2014
Well-Known Member
@PeaceLover I teared up when I read this. I am so happy for you and the decision you made. What a courageous woman you are. You will share this story with your daughter one day when she needs advice. You will tell her of how you triumphed over adversity and rose above a situation that was devised to tear you down. Please do not turn back.....I am inspired by you.Update: I'm moving tomorrow & I got all my stuff. Thank you so much ladies for you advice and insight. Y'all made this decision easier for me and I'm feeling pretty optimistic. I'm taking some time to heal, but in the meantime I'm going to take @frogkisses advice too.
PeaceLover
Well-Known Member
I went out for the first time in a while! I had so much fun. I was in my cousin's wedding and a lot of the groomsmen were single so I'm trying to decide who I want to entertain.
LeftRightRepeat
Well-Known Member
aww you're gorgeous, you'll do just fine without him
PeaceLover
Well-Known Member
Aww thank you!
To beautiful to be dealing with thou who shall not be named
Hell nah.
Please just move on and live yo life!
Team you!!!! And mini you!!!!
Hell nah.
Please just move on and live yo life!
Team you!!!! And mini you!!!!
I went out for the first time in a while! I had so much fun. I was in my cousin's wedding and a lot of the groomsmen were single so I'm trying to decide who I want to entertain.
Naveah2050
Well-Known Member
You are beautiful darls!! You won't be single long.... On to the next...
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