The Unresponsible Man of my Dreams

[Shardonay11]

ladies, I love my husband, he is the most loving, caring and attentive man that I have ever dated and he makes my heart sing. BUT, he's lacking in the responsiblity department for six years we been married. I married at 21 years old. For the first few years my husband and I just had fun, we went of vacations and partied and just had a good time. Now, I would like to start getting serious about our future; our friends have gotten houses and had babies, these are all goals of mine, that I would like to see us reach in the near further.

Currently,we rent a one-bedroom apartment were paying nearly $1500.00 for. And we really can not afford it. There was a time last year when I left my job as office Manager for an Architect company; with out having another one (a no-no I know---long story). \I was not working for 7 months during that time, my man stood up and paid the bills and the rent to keep our heads over water. I am now working full-time again at the same company that I left . They asked me back with benefits and a long over due raise (One reason why I left.)

The bad news is, we've fallen pretty fall behind in bills since my time of unemployment. I trying so hard to get us back on track paying off debts one by one.

Today, I find out that the rental office has us down for missing one full month of rent. I know we paid it. I look to my husband to provided the money order receipts for the rental payments. Come to find out he has not put them in one specific place and is having a hard time finding them.

This could be the difference between having a place to live and an eviction. I'm so upset right now, I don't know what to do.

I really love my man, but this is not the first time he has shown these unreliable qualities on issues that are really important. I feel like unless I do all the "grown-Up" things they will either never get done or won't get done properly.

Am I overreacting? How should I handle this please help! We cant not afford an addition $1500.00 right now.

Thanks,


Fellow queens

 

[willie525]

I'm sorry to hear that. You might need to really sit down with your hubby to analyze your financial situation, outline your goals for the future and make a budget.

Talk to a financial counselor and they'll help you with future goals. As far as your rent I don't know what to do about the backpay. It may be time to look at a new place to stay. Your housing should never exceed 30% of your take home pay.

Sorry I couldn't be more help!

 

[envybeauty]

he can't be that irresponsible if he was able to hold down the fort for 7 months while you were not working.

imo

 

[fattyfatfat]

no you arent overreacting. have him find that receipt if it takes him all day and night. rent/eviction is nothing to mess around with.

 

[Shardonay11]

he can't be that irresponsible if he was able to hold down the fort for 7 months while you were not working.

imo

I agree with this, this is why my husband is my husband, he is a wonderful man in every other way. He treat me like a queen and gives a little piece of that respect to all black women, always why totally respecting and admiring me. I love him very much.

It's just ever since the time I was not working we gather quite a few bills and our credit is not so hot right now. Moving is not really an option until we get ourself in a better finacinally situation. We'll just have to find a way to pay it and take the hit.

I will most

 

[Dymondz7]

Did he pay it in cash? If not, the financial institution should have a record of it, either a check or money order. Unless it was paid in cash there is likely proof of the transaction that you can use as evidence.

 

[MJ]

Have you considered using checks to pay your bills instead of money orders? With checks, you will always have a record then and will never have to search for receipt slips. Also, consider checking out Dave Ramsey's books and website. I've browsed his books in Borders and have been listening to his shows online for a few days now. He really cares about helping people get their financial situations into the positive and gives awesome advice.

HTH and best wishes.

 

[firecracker]

he can't be that irresponsible if he was able to hold down the fort for 7 months while you were not working.

imo

I agree with the above but I'm confused. In one sentence the OP said dh paid all the bills while she was unemployed for 7 months but in another she says the bills are now behind from that time?

Did he pay some of the bills or all of the bills during that time minus this one month rent confusion?

Op I'm sure your dh will learn from this situation especially since it has to do with rent. Please don't panic I'm sure the manager can work out some kind a repayment plan while you guys try to trace the money order or check.

In many relationships one person is better organizing or paying in a timely manner. Have a Happy New Year!

 

[Summer_Rain]

Is it possible that he really DIDN'T pay that months rent?

 

[gone_fishing]

What month was it? I know they aren't trying to say that you owe rent for a month way in the past? Why wouldn't they have given you notice back then that no rent was paid?

 

[lexi08]

Is it possible that he really DIDN'T pay that months rent?

I did not wan't to say this, but this is the first thing I thought of when I read this post yesterday OP should consider this as a possibility, it happens.

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

You know, you take the good with the bad. No man is perfect, but it seems to me that he's doing somewhat of a good job by being responsible enough to hold down the fort and pay either all or most of the bills while you were unemployed.

My fiancee and I have been living together for awhile now, and I, like you, am 21 years old. The only difference is we won't be tying the knot until we're 23 (in 2009). He works and I go to school, and once I graduate I'll be working and he'll be working AND going to school. If you read my post in the OT forum, you might've seen the thread about me suing my father for lost money. During this time, SO worked extra shifts, extra hours, even offered to get a second job and told me all I have to do is say the word.

That being said, he's not exactly the most organized person. His idea of organization is throwing all his papers into the nightstand drawer He has his own bills and I have my own, and then we have our joint ones, and sometimes he forgets to follow up with payments in terms of receipts. If there's someone he needs to call by a certain date, chances are he will forget. And cleaning? I almost hit the roof last week when he spilled coffee on our dark brown rug and thought that cleaning it with a wet paper towel would make it all go away and I'd never have to know. Boy when I saw that stain the next morning....

My point is, you take the good with the bad. The things about my SO that I may like or dislike I know and knew long before we got engaged and I've chosen to accept them because his good qualities outshine his bad. Like yours, SO is very attentive, very loving, very caring and respectful. I had surgery this week and had to sleep on our couch because I had to sleep upright, SO took his behind and slept on HARDWOOD floor next to me for 3 nights straight knowing that he had to work the next morning. He also weighed on me hand and foot.

Be patient, be wise, try to stand together and figure out your situation. Give him some credit for at least taking care of responsibilities while you were looking for a job.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

he can't be that irresponsible if he was able to hold down the fort for 7 months while you were not working.

imo

COSIGN

As far as the rent goes, as long as it wasn't paid in cash then you should be able to track it (check or money order). Good luck.

 

[Shardonay11]

I agree with the above but I'm confused. In one sentence the OP said dh paid all the bills while she was unemployed for 7 months but in another she says the bills are now behind from that time?

Did he pay some of the bills or all of the bills during that time minus this one month rent confusion?

Op I'm sure your dh will learn from this situation especially since it has to do with rent. Please don't panic I'm sure the manager can work out some kind a repayment plan while you guys try to trace the money order or check.

In many relationships one person is better organizing or paying in a timely manner. Have a Happy New Year!

let me clarify, he paid our rent that is why we are still there, and took care of our "must haves" but no, he was not able to pay all of our bills (my bad), those are the ones that are cause negative marks on our credit.

This accusation that were are missing one full months rent is not correct. I know it. But if we can not find the receipt we might be in for it.

The reason were using money order and not check, is a long one. Lets just say that not an option right now either.

I so frustrated!

 

[Shardonay11]

You know, you take the good with the bad. No man is perfect, but it seems to me that he's doing somewhat of a good job by being responsible enough to hold down the fort and pay either all or most of the bills while you were unemployed.

My fiancee and I have been living together for awhile now, and I, like you, am 21 years old. The only difference is we won't be tying the knot until we're 23 (in 2009). He works and I go to school, and once I graduate I'll be working and he'll be working AND going to school. If you read my post in the OT forum, you might've seen the thread about me suing my father for lost money. During this time, SO worked extra shifts, extra hours, even offered to get a second job and told me all I have to do is say the word.

That being said, he's not exactly the most organized person. His idea of organization is throwing all his papers into the nightstand drawer He has his own bills and I have my own, and then we have our joint ones, and sometimes he forgets to follow up with payments in terms of receipts. If there's someone he needs to call by a certain date, chances are he will forget. And cleaning? I almost hit the roof last week when he spilled coffee on our dark brown rug and thought that cleaning it with a wet paper towel would make it all go away and I'd never have to know. Boy when I saw that stain the next morning....

My point is, you take the good with the bad. The things about my SO that I may like or dislike I know and knew long before we got engaged and I've chosen to accept them because his good qualities outshine his bad. Like yours, SO is very attentive, very loving, very caring and respectful. I had surgery this week and had to sleep on our couch because I had to sleep upright, SO took his behind and slept on HARDWOOD floor next to me for 3 nights straight knowing that he had to work the next morning. He also weighed on me hand and foot.

Be patient, be wise, try to stand together and figure out your situation. Give him some credit for at least taking care of responsibilities while you were looking for a job.

Thank you, now if we can keep a roof over our head while going throught these financial hardships I might actually be able to smile.

thanks

 

[Nina_S]

Shardonay11,

Sounds to me like you have a great guy and I think that you should be patient. In the meantime, I do believe that you can trace money orders. Here is how Western Union does it....

I lost my money order receipt. How can I get a refund or ask for a photocopy of the money order I bought?

If you have no proof of purchase, but know the serial number and the dollar amount of the money order, you can fill out a money order tracing/refund request form located on westernunion.com. Go to the home page and click the Money Order tab. Then click “Learn more about money orders,” and scroll down to the “Let us help you find the lost money orders,” section. You should select the appropriate form and download the form.

Follow the instructions on the appropriate form (s). Complete and sign the tracing/refund request form. Then, complete, sign, and have the affidavit notarized. Mail both forms to the address listed on the tracing /refund request form for processing.

You will also need to include a non-refundable $15.00 processing fee for each money order. If the money order has not been cashed when we receive your request, you’ll generally be issued a refund within 15-20 days after we complete our investigation. Western Union may require a bond or another form of acceptable security before issuing a refund.

If you know the dollar amount and when and where you purchased the money order, but not the serial number, we can trace the money order and determine whether it has been paid, for a $30.00 fee for each money order. Go to the home page and click the “Money Order” tab. Then click “Learn more about money orders,” and scroll down to the “Lost money orders,” section. Follow the instructions on the lost money order serial number form.

If you do not know the serial number or the dollar amount and are unable to provide proof of purchase, your request for refund may be denied.

Good luck!

Nina

 

[firecracker]

let me clarify, he paid our rent that is why we are still there, and took care of our "must haves" but no, he was not able to pay all of our bills (my bad), those are the ones that are cause negative marks on our credit.

This accusation that were are missing one full months rent is not correct. I know it. But if we can not find the receipt we might be in for it.

The reason were using money order and not check, is a long one. Lets just say that not an option right now either.

I so frustrated!

Thanks for clarifying. Maybe your hubby can provide proof via bank statement that he took out the rent amount on a certain date of the missing rent month to give you guys sometime to come up with the replacement rent monies. If you get served a 30day eviction notice after a 3 day you can still try to pay your rent up before the court date so they can rescind the court case and then you won't have to move. You may have to pay their court cost though.erplexed Which is probably less than moving fee's.