The candid questions regarding relationships thread (for grown folks)

[aviddiva77]

off. idk about others but i generally have totally nude sex. there would have to be a reason why i were still clothed why would cowgirl mean bra on?

More bouncing/movement lol. Although the most movement would be from doggy style.

 

[CaraWalker]

More bouncing/movement lol. Although the most movement would be from doggy style.

i tend to slope down so i'm more of an isosceles triangle than a rectangle if you see how i mean. the boob bouncing is part of it, doggy is unsexy enough already. slumping forward like he is just killing it usually helps me, if i'm not throwing it back.

 

[aviddiva77]

i tend to slope down so i'm more of an isosceles triangle than a rectangle if you see how i mean. the boob bouncing is part of it, doggy is unsexy enough already. slumping forward like he is just killing it usually helps me, if i'm not throwing it back.

Oh like bending over to hold onto his stomach/chest? That doesn't hurt your back after a bit? I may need to exercise more before having sex lmao.

I ask because my boobs aren't the perkiest and any large moments without a bra is painful. And I'm a bit self-conscious about it. The rest of my body IDGAF. But my boobs are a soft spot for me. I don't think I'll be into boob play so why not keep it on.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Has anyone done it while stoned (pot only)?

Did it enhance or hurt the experience?

Just smoking - was more of a laid back super relaxed enhancement.
Brownies - Every thrust felt like there was techno music playing in my vag. It's cool and all and I highly recommend doing it with someone you trust, but it takes too long to come down off edibles. That's for 3 day weekends where you don't have to go anyplace else and no kids.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I ask because my boobs aren't the perkiest and any large moments without a bra is painful. And I'm a bit self-conscious about it. The rest of my body IDGAF. But my boobs are a soft spot for me. I don't think I'll be into boob play so why not keep it on.

If dude isn't the type to play with them during cowgirl then keep your bra on. No point in giving yourself a black eye from all that bouncing.

 

[TayMac]

I like the boob play so bra off for me. They'll still bounce either way so he'll get a visual if you keep it on.

 

[PeaceFlow]

Does your bra stay on or off during sex? Even with cowgirl?

Majority of the time bra comes off.

Other times I will wear a too small bra or a crop top that I'm easily freed from. Like I'm wearing something, but my boobs are popping out of it.

I like those "half bras" that stop just below nippes. Might be an idea for if you want to give him a more naked treat, but have more support than going wild and free.

 

[SoopremeBeing]

I try not to take a few puffs before doing it. My feeling of sensation drops.

 

[CaraWalker]

Oh like bending over to hold onto his stomach/chest? That doesn't hurt your back after a bit? I may need to exercise more before having sex lmao.

I ask because my boobs aren't the perkiest and any large moments without a bra is painful. And I'm a bit self-conscious about it. The rest of my body IDGAF. But my boobs are a soft spot for me. I don't think I'll be into boob play so why not keep it on.

no i mean instead of sitting up on all fours "like a dog" often i'll sink down on my elbows/with my shoulders in the bed, head sideways on the pillow.

 

[aviddiva77]

If dude isn't the type to play with them during cowgirl then keep your bra on. No point in giving yourself a black eye from all that bouncing.

Majority of the time bra comes off.

Other times I will wear a too small bra or a crop top that I'm easily freed from. Like I'm wearing something, but my boobs are popping out of it.

I like those "half bras" that stop just below nippes. Might be an idea for if you want to give him a more naked treat, but have more support than going wild and free.

oooo! I like the crop top and the half bra idea! Thanks!

no i mean instead of sitting up on all fours "like a dog" often i'll sink down on my elbows/with my shoulders in the bed, head sideways on the pillow.

Ooooooh! Hehehehehehe ain't nothing wrong with that. Shoot being on all four hurts.

 

[BlackRinse]

I can't believe I am saying this here but the guy I am seeing is um...very large and I am not sure how to handle that.
We dated briefly about two years ago but I wasn't ready for a
relationship and he was. Now I am in a better space and we
are trying again. We never slept together but he definitely
gave me a disclaimer about his size and I have felt it. He
told me a story about a woman running out of his
apartment. Has any one had a peen larger than 9 inches?
Is this an African thing because I have heard stories? He is Ghanaian.

I started dating a Nigerian/Jamaican man in April. Actually he is the first man I have ever dated im 21 he was 24 and i'm a virgin. We were innocently making out, dude unbuckled his pants talm'bout "should i get a condom?" I told homedude I ain't ready you gonna destroy me and he laughed. I guess he got annoyed and thought I was childish, cause we broke up last week. Oh well.

 

[julzinha]

I try not to take a few puffs before doing it. My feeling of sensation drops.

I'm the opposite my sensation is higher than ever.

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

How do you keep things spicy and interesting in the bedroom. My SO and I have developed a routine. We make out and do a bit of foreplay, I give him head, he gives me head until I orgasm, and then we do penetration. He hasn't complained about it or anything, and I love this routine. I just want some suggestions so that we don't get too comfortable with a routine. We are both pretty inexperienced and are late bloomers.

Change the order of things, more positions, just oral, just penetration, make out longer, 69, don't just do it in the bedroom, sext during the day to build anticipation, the possibilities are endless

 

[Evolving78]

Yes.

Blood pressure meds is a major cause for disrupted sex life. They just cant get it up on those meds.

I know a couple in their early 30s who haven't done it in a cpl years because he has bp meds. Oh well

Yeah that's the messed up part.. We would have to work on his diet. Sex is getting better the older I get! I don't need stuff going wrong for the next 20 years!

 

[Evolving78]

I started dating a Nigerian/Jamaican man in April. Actually he is the first man I have ever dated im 21 he was 24 and i'm a virgin. We were innocently making out, dude unbuckled his pants talm'bout "should i get a condom?" I told homedude I ain't ready you gonna destroy me and he laughed. I guess he got annoyed and thought I was childish, cause we broke up last week. Oh well.

Sorry to hear that. I'm a petite woman, but I can hang with the big boys. You have to be eased into it and let him get you very wet. Don't allow him to pin your legs back either. You can spoon, so you don't have to take him all in at once. Or you can get on top and control the depth. Once you get more open, you can take him in all the way.

 

[Evolving78]

I can't believe I am saying this here but the guy I am seeing is um...very large and I am not sure how to handle that.
We dated briefly about two years ago but I wasn't ready for a
relationship and he was. Now I am in a better space and we
are trying again. We never slept together but he definitely
gave me a disclaimer about his size and I have felt it. He
told me a story about a woman running out of his
apartment. Has any one had a peen larger than 9 inches?
Is this an African thing because I have heard stories? He is Ghanaian.

10 1/2! His girth was out there too! The head was huge! He looked like part of the Xmen!

 

[topnotch1010]

do yall ever call him daddy?

there was a thread years ago and i remember reading it disgusted at people who were fine with it. like . why would you call a man you're ****ing daddy? how weird.

but now, i was thinking about it for some reason yesterday, idk. i haven't done it but it doesn't freak me out anymore.

maybe i'll test the waters and see how he responds.

Yes, I call him daddy all the time. i can see how it can gross some out. My real dad passed a few years ago. If he were still around, they couldn't share the name. That would be gross. I never called my real dad daddy either.

 

[nesha24]

sooooo, i don't know if i've ever really had an "o" (is it safe to use real words here) how can you tell if you've had one or if you're just super wet?

 

[bklynbornNbred]

I started dating a Nigerian/Jamaican man in April. Actually he is the first man I have ever dated im 21 he was 24 and i'm a virgin. We were innocently making out, dude unbuckled his pants talm'bout "should i get a condom?" I told homedude I ain't ready you gonna destroy me and he laughed. I guess he got annoyed and thought I was childish, cause we broke up last week. Oh well.

Are you holding out for religious reasons or were you waiting for another reason? If ya'll were in the right space together as a couple he would know how to handle himself. If he just wanted to get himself off you'd be in trouble. Be careful young lady. Don't start what you not ready to finish.

sooooo, i don't know if i've ever really had an "o" (is it safe to use real words here) how can you tell if you've had one or if you're just super wet?

If you have to ask you probably never had. If you're not able or comfortable to do the job freehand get yourself a mechanical crayon, some wine and after a relaxing bath practice solo drawing. Figure out for yourself what you like (& don't like) so you can better direct your partner.

 

[topnotch1010]

sooooo, i don't know if i've ever really had an "o" (is it safe to use real words here) how can you tell if you've had one or if you're just super wet?

Ooooooh girl, you'd KNOW! There's no mistaking it! I second trying to get there solo with manual stimulation on your outer parts. Don't wanna get too vulgar but relax, make sure you're slippery and find out what works for you. It may take time but it's worth the effort!

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

If you have to ask you probably never had. If you're not able or comfortable to do the job freehand get yourself a mechanical crayon, some wine and after a relaxing bath practice solo drawing. Figure out for yourself what you like (& don't like) so you can better direct your partner.

I second this. I had my first via self-coloring. I can have them by hand but I prefer the vibe. Once you've had one, you know what it feels like.

It's been tricky for me to have one during penetration. I've learned for me it's best to have an O beforehand. Then color with the crayon. Coloring feels even better that way too.

 

[CaraWalker]

I second this. I had my first via self-coloring. I can have them by hand but I prefer the vibe. Once you've had one, you know what it feels like.

It's been tricky for me to have one during penetration. I've learned for me it's best to have an O beforehand. Then color with the crayon. Coloring feels even better that way too.

no ma'am. i diiiiiiiiiiiie. once im done, move away for at least 20 minutes if i have a VO it starts to close up. the only time i was somehow able to have them back to back (4x) was from oral, on purpose.

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

Lol I love it! That first one is just a warmup.

 

[BlackRinse]

Are you holding out for religious reasons or were you waiting for another reason? If ya'll were in the right space together as a couple he would know how to handle himself. If he just wanted to get himself off you'd be in trouble. Be careful young lady. Don't start what you not ready to finish.

@bklynbornNbred
We only dated basically a month. We met on pof, where we talked on and off maybe for maybe 3 weeks. I've never dated anyone before I wanted to make sure I wasn't being used for sex. So i decided I'd wait 6 months, my friend told me no one in today's society would wait that long. So I said ok 3 months. I wanted to know him, and actually love him before having sex. As sex is very intimate, and I didn't want him to think i am easy. Unfortunately due to poor communication and a sense of suspicion that he may have been cheating. Although I never vocalized that to him our relationship ended. As a while after that encounter he started changing. I never dated anyone before due to being raised by a religious mom who essentially shamed the idea of me dating. Which I did share with him. Perhaps he thought me sharing that with him entailed that I had no plans of having sex with him. In hindsight i don't think it was his size his intimidated me, just that I didn't have enough time to fall in love with him. I wish we had sat down and talked about it. I did try and explain the day after but he deflected.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

Don't apologize for not being ready. Your body your choice. The way he bounced he clearly wasn't thinking of you. That said don't have time to write all I want so I will hit back at ya. You need to learn how to date. Walking with your nose open looking for love will leave you susceptible. You can't put time limits. It's more important to know what you want and see if a potential Beau meets your standards. Any bum can fake love and expecting commitment after a month is unrealistic.

@Honey Bee your wisdom is needed!!

 

[nesha24]

what kind of toys do you all recommend for self coloring? i bought a little vibrator with 5 different shapes and speeds from the drugstore....maybe i need to upgrade? lol

 

[Evolving78]

Are you holding out for religious reasons or were you waiting for another reason? If ya'll were in the right space together as a couple he would know how to handle himself. If he just wanted to get himself off you'd be in trouble. Be careful young lady. Don't start what you not ready to finish.



If you have to ask you probably never had. If you're not able or comfortable to do the job freehand get yourself a mechanical crayon, some wine and after a relaxing bath practice solo drawing. Figure out for yourself what you like (& don't like) so you can better direct your partner.

To the top quote, I glanced over the fact she was a virgin! Yes she should be very careful. Besides waiting for marriage if that's the reason, find a man that is caring, gentle, and patient. He will love you and take his time with you in every aspect of your relationship. You need someone to feel secure with. If he was a mature man, he wouldn't have just ran off like that and told you how he really felt about everything.

 

[Evolving78]

@bklynbornNbred
We only dated basically a month. We met on pof, where we talked on and off maybe for maybe 3 weeks. I've never dated anyone before I wanted to make sure I wasn't being used for sex. So i decided I'd wait 6 months, my friend told me no one in today's society would wait that long. So I said ok 3 months. I wanted to know him, and actually love him before having sex. As sex is very intimate, and I didn't want him to think i am easy. Unfortunately due to poor communication and a sense of suspicion that he may have been cheating. Although I never vocalized that to him our relationship ended. As a while after that encounter he started changing. I never dated anyone before due to being raised by a religious mom who essentially shamed the idea of me dating. Which I did share with him. Perhaps he thought me sharing that with him entailed that I had no plans of having sex with him. In hindsight i don't think it was his size his intimidated me, just that I didn't have enough time to fall in love with him. I wish we had sat down and talked about it. I did try and explain the day after but he deflected.

Don't ever feel rushed into that and like mentioned above, learn and start dating more. Don't put yourself in compromising positions even when you first meet a man. Don't go to anyone's home, watching movies and crap. Let a man court you. Tell him you like to be courted. This way you can get to know the person better and see him more clearly. You get caught up in the physcial and putting time restraints on yourself, you will end up making some jacked up mistakes.

 

[Evolving78]

what kind of toys do you all recommend for self coloring? i bought a little vibrator with 5 different shapes and speeds from the drugstore....maybe i need to upgrade? lol

It really depends on what type of stimulation you are looking for? As far as the big O, when you start uncontrollably shaking, pulling the sheets off of the bed, having to go into a different place in your mind in order for it to follow through, you will know! It's an intense sensation! Try placing the device on your clitoris, changing the speed to see what you can handle. Think of something tingling down your spine, or thighs, but a constant feeling. Also it's starts to get really warm down there and you can feel the blood flow increase. It will start to pulsate down there! Lol

 

[Honey Bee]

Don't apologize for not being ready. Your body your choice. The way he bounced he clearly wasn't thinking of you. That said don't have time to write all I want so I will hit back at ya. You need to learn how to date. Walking with your nose open looking for love will leave you susceptible. You can't put time limits. It's more important to know what you want and see if a potential Beau meets your standards. Any bum can fake love and expecting commitment after a month is unrealistic.

@Honey Bee your wisdom is needed!!

My wisdom in what? Dating? Standards? Deciding who shall have the privilege? Wassup?