The candid questions regarding relationships thread (for grown folks)

[NappyNelle]

i cant believe this. i can finish from oral in like two minutes. is this an issue "in the hood"? whats going on here?

I'm very sensitive, but I just.don't.like.it. I'm the only one I know that prefers penetration.

I'm 1000% sure its because I was taught that vag was dirty/ gross/ personal and I feel very uncomfortable in positions where she is "exposed" so openly. I also get very anxious when a man is down there. I can't relax at all so the whole vibe is ruined.

ETA: Actually one person made me feel more comfortable and it was actually pleasurable. If I didn't make him stop, I may have climaxed.

Mods, don't ban me! Lol

 

[claudzie]

How do you get ready for your first time with a new lover?

Good question, I'd like to hear the responses for this too

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm very sensitive, but I just.don't.like.it. I'm the only one I know that prefers penetration. I'm 1000% sure its because I was taught that vag was dirty/ gross/ personal and I feel very uncomfortable in positions where she is "exposed" so openly. I also get very anxious when a man is down there. I can't relax at all so the whole vibe is ruined. ETA: Actually one person made me feel more comfortable and it was actually pleasurable. If I didn't make him stop, I may have climaxed. Mods, don't ban me! Lol

I've only been able to reach with this SO.
I felt the same as you did in the past.

 

[Supervixen]

Yea. This. Wine has fueled quite a few 'romantic' nights As well as thoughts of England

Help me out, England?

 

[CaraWalker]

Help me out, England?

its just an old saying

 

[MD_Lady]

So....what would you NOT do for a boyfriend that you WOULD do for a husband?

Other than have unprotected sex, not one doggone thing. I deserved to explore my sexuality as a girlfriend as much as I do as a wife.

 

[Mortons]

Yea. This. Wine has fueled quite a few 'romantic' nights As well as thoughts of England

My only issue is that when I don't want it I can't climax and it will be obvious. So I guess I would have to fake it... But I'm sure they will know I fake lol

 

[gabulldawg]

My only issue is that when I don't want it I can't climax and it will be obvious. So I guess I would have to fake it... But I'm sure they will know I fake lol

If it's a choice between that or nothing they usually don't care.

 

[MD_Lady]

On the days I'm not feeling it I suck it up and try to pretend. I have never been one of those people who think you should just not have sex when you don't want to. Not in a marriage. Makes no sense to me.

See, I'm not completely opposed to hearing "no" because I respect the fact that people can get tired or not feel well. HOWEVER, just like I do things I don't feel like doing to make him happy, he needs to return the favor (in and outside of the bedroom).

 

[CaraWalker]

if i were married i probably mostly wouldnt mind quickies just to shut him up. would prob watch tv over his shoulder

 

[nelcoy]

How do you get ready for your first time with a new lover?

Shave your legs and coloring box. Get some wine and condoms. Make sure your hair is straight. Then just do it.

 

[DarkJoy]

My only issue is that when I don't want it I can't climax and it will be obvious. So I guess I would have to fake it... But I'm sure they will know I fake lol

I dont fake climaxes. Id just say something mushy that I wanted to focus on him that session.

The bonus was they usually feel wanted and desired so it has great affects outside the bedroom too

 

[ElizaBlue]

How do you get ready for your first time with a new lover?

I hit the gear stores....Candies if I want to be ratchet

 

[Ganjababy]

Just the idea of exposing my body to a new person alone makes recycling the old phallus more enticing. He knows all the old nooks and crannies and he is very happy. He does not care about a lil cellulite here or there...

 

[Bublin]

Just the idea of exposing my body to a new person alone makes recycling the old phallus more enticing. He knows all the old nooks and crannies and he is very happy. He does not care about a lil cellulite here or there...

But 99% of men couldn't give a fig about cellulite. It's us women who want to hide it.

 

[DarkJoy]

But 99% of men couldn't give a fig about cellulite. It's us women who want to hide it.

Right. They really dont give a damn.

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

On the days I'm not feeling it I suck it up and try to pretend. I have never been one of those people who think you should just not have sex when you don't want to. Not in a marriage. Makes no sense to me.

I agree I never said no to sex when I was married and wouldn't if I got married again. It's too important and I also wouldn't be passive aggressive and say Yes but still act like I'm doing him a favor if that makes sense cuz that just punishes them for having normal sexual needs IMO. I know women that do this and I think they'd be better off saying no.

We developed subtle signals over the years, unspoken cues... and he could tell when I wasn't as into it and would make it a quickie or give me what I needed to really want it as much as he did. He also asked less when I went through a low libido phase after my middle child was born that lasted about 7 months...during that time we maybe had sex once a week or so when our norm was 3-4 times per week. I would also supplement with BJs here an there.

 

[Taleah2009]

If it's a choice between that or nothing they usually don't care.

Right! I was going to say that. As long as he does during those times I'm not in the mood I'm good. He will say babe you didn't climax I just tell him sweetly get me next time lol. I don't fake ish. I don't even know how to fake it

 

[Country gal]

Great thread. Enjoyed reading it start to finish.

I want to answer this but i'm afraid.

BGT- don't be scared. This should be a no flex zone.

 

[Nayna]

Do any of you touch him just because? Lately we can be watching TV and I find my hand in his pants. Not jerking it but just holding it or caressing it lmao. He really likes it too.

 

[CaliiSwagg]

if i were married i probably mostly wouldnt mind quickies just to shut him up. would prob watch tv over his shoulder

 

[DarkJoy]

if i were married i probably mostly wouldnt mind quickies just to shut him up. would prob watch tv over his shoulder

You know what.... in a lifelong 20, 30, 40 year marriage it really is like that sometimes.

Just keeping it 100.

 

[Libra08]

Which brands of lube are you ladies using? For some reason I can't stay wet with my current SO. I've never had this problem before. I usually have to put down towels before sex

 

[Bun Mistress]

I swear by KY vaginal moisturizer in the purple perfered but not readily available or the blue top.

Thin and water based. Tasteless. Dont judge. And if you are dry could be used before hand and they would never know.

Both formulas are long lasting. No re- application needed even for the longest sessions.

Have I said too much? I just have a strong on the matter.

 

[Libra08]

Can water based lube be used with condoms?

 

[TayMac]

Can water based lube be used with condoms?

water based and silicone lubes can be used with condoms.

 

[CaraWalker]

Can water based lube be used with condoms?

as far as what kind, i have no suggestions because i have never used lube, but:

Latex condoms should be used with a water-based, or preferably silicone-based lubricant. Never use oil-based lubricants such as body lotions, massage oils, or ​

Vaseline

, as these weaken the latex and can cause the condom to break.


​

 

[Oasis]

egg whites can also safely be used as lube. no idea who was the first person to test that one out like, how desperate do you have to be?

 

[Okay]

So....what would you NOT do for a boyfriend that you WOULD do for a husband?

Anal..............

 

[FelaShrine]

Can water based lube be used with condoms?

Yes
Liquid Silk is really good. The normal stuff like KY astroglide etc have glycerin and other unnecessary garbage.

silicone is really great though too..like Pjur or Wet Platinum(I saw this in Walgreens recently..great reviews)