So Black Men Really Don't Care if My Hair Is Nappy

[GoodMernin]

I'm just...I'm not crazy about the word "nappy". :-/

 

[Harina]

. He said afros and all that are just fine "just as long as she doesnt have a dude-cut and insist on wearing a d@mn scarf every night"

Don't most naturals have to wear a scarf at night for the most part, or at least a bonnet? Also why do men care if you wear something on your head at night (presumably after getting freaky). I don't feel the need to be sexy/pretty even when I am sleeping.

 

[Ogoma]

Don't most naturals have to wear a scarf at night for the most part, or at least a bonnet? Also why do men care if you wear something on your head at night (presumably after getting freaky). I don't feel the need to be sexy/pretty even when I am sleeping.

.... most relaxed haired women do as well

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

That's pretty cool that your hubby feels that way. I know I'd get backlash for a fro because even now that I'm in braids I get it.

But even when I went into braids with/and without extensions black men and black women (friends/fam/strangers) alike said something to the effect of, "You're pretty---BUT you looked better with straight hair?" "So when will you end this fad?" "It looks unprofessional."

Funny thing is though, that everyone who supported my change was non-Black...

 

[StarScream35]

Someone mentioned location and I must agree. I have always been an advocate of location location location!!! This includes things like interracial dating. How many times have I heard sistas come and say "well I have no problem interracial dating and sistas should be more confident blah blah". And I'm like..........I bet you don't live in Alabama do you? Sure enough, it's some cat from LA, NY etc. I feel this same way about natural hair. I used to live in Atlanta and I assure you, a natural sista would have no problem there. Natural hair is in style there and women frequently have no problem BCing. I now live in the Midwest and I am stretching my relaxers and leaning towards going natural so I frequently wash and air dry. How many times do I get the what's WRONG with your hair look or when you gonna relax. I mean really??!! So like I always say, please consider location before telling sistas they need to gather all of this confidence or do this or do that. Location is key.

 

[Kindheart]

Everytime I tell a guy friend that I really want to go natural, the response I get is: "wow, u gonna look like a poodle."
Ignorance is bliss i guess.

I'm so gonna drag them to see Chris Rock's "Good Hair!"

I got that a couple of times.My mom said i look like a sheep ...and not only once ...oh ,and my hubby call me Lion head

 

[GIJane]

And I agree with you a billion% brave

I don't know if it's because my mother is hispanic but my hair is 3c/4a it's pretty short now since I cut it but my mother/ grandmother have no problems calling my hair nappy. It has even gone as far as people sneaking in my room with a comb and brush at night (Yes it has happened). My cousin is a 3a and they drool over her hair. Whatever
My aunt (father's sister) is a biracial dark-skinned woman and has never said anything directly to my hair but pretty much everyone on that side just says OH, your hair's different, why don't you straighten it anymore?

Now this is coming from college degree recipients. It has nothing to do with education, income. IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IGNORANCE and self-hatred and insecurity. People just don't want to admit it. The good Lord rolled his dice and this is the hair I got, so I'll just go along with his intentions. He knows better than me I rather not cross him. After all he is in charge.

That's pretty cool that your hubby feels that way. I know I'd get backlash for a fro because even now that I'm in braids I get it.

But even when I went into braids with/and without extensions black men and black women (friends/fam/strangers) alike said something to the effect of, "You're pretty---BUT you looked better with straight hair?" "So when will you end this fad?" "It looks unprofessional."

Funny thing is though, that everyone who supported my change was non-Black...

I agree. In my family, it is mostly the older people (55+) that have a problem with natural hair. They feel that it is unkempt (no matter what state) and not professional. Straight hair is better hair.

I also have known guys (men) to tell a natural her hair is really pretty. As soon as she turns her back and she's not listening they clown her.

FYI- I am from the DC, MD, Va area.

 

[Arian]

I'll always feel like my ex started acting differently toward me when I did the BC. Guess he didn't think it was going to grow.

I just remember him telling me that he didn't care for the natural look and I was cool with that, but I still did what I thought was best for me. And so, he cheated, but I believed he was going to do that anyway.

On another note, I live in Alabama and it's mixed reactions here. Now, I don't get as much play as I used to before going natural, but I still get some. I wear my hair out ALL the time--the bigger, the better in my opinion. People stare at me, but at least I'm not alone because all of my friends are natural. And I'm seeing more and more naturals around here, so maybe views will change. Funny that I developed a lot of confidence as a natural and I started caring more about how I presented myself (clothes, accessories, makeup, etc.)

Before cutting my hair, I probably would never have looked at the earrings that I'm wearing in my siggy or the dress...

 

[ChristmasCarol]

Black men, White men, Asian men, or any other kinda man don't care if your hair is natural or not - THEY JUST LIKE LONG HAIR!

Whenever I hear Black men speak negatively about natural hair, they are always talking about short hair. I've never in life heard a brotha say he wouldn't date a woman with waist-length natural hair - and believe me, I've asked I live in the Midwest, and even here, length trumps texture every time.

A woman who is on-point with her body and overall styling is not going to be snubbed if she has long natural hair (think Esperanza Spalding, Tracee Ellis Ross) As a matter-of-fact, I'd bet a dozen Krispy Kremes that she would get waaaaaay more play than SL relaxed hair on the same woman. Any dude who says he wouldn't date her cuz her hair is nappy is actually on the DL...or something.

 

[preciouslove0x]

Black men, White men, Asian men, or any other kinda man don't care if your hair is natural or not - THEY JUST LIKE LONG HAIR!

Whenever I hear Black men speak negatively about natural hair, they are always talking about short hair. I've never in life heard a brotha say he wouldn't date a woman with waist-length natural hair - and believe me, I've asked I live in the Midwest, and even here, length trumps texture every time.

A woman who is on-point with her body and overall styling is not going to be snubbed if she has long natural hair (think Esperanza Spalding, Tracee Ellis Ross) As a matter-of-fact, I'd bet a dozen Krispy Kremes that she would get waaaaaay more play than SL relaxed hair on the same woman. Any dude who says he wouldn't date her cuz her hair is nappy is actually on the DL...or something.

I agree 100%