♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

whosthatcurl said:
After years of unemployment, I finally got an orientation on Monday at this temp agency. Looks like I won't be able to attend because I won't have anyone to pick up my son. I think I'm going to cry. Every time I solve one problem, something else pops up. I only have one kid for goodness sake.:cry3::cry3::cry3:
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Is there a cab or school transportation service you can use? How old is your son? Can you take a break and get him and go back?
 
There are, but I don't know how long the orientation is going to be. He's 7. It's almost 3 hours away from his school because I don't have a car, plus we live an hour away from his school because no car. Otherwise, it would be 20 minutes. I can't drop him off to anyone because I live alone.
 
whosthatcurl said:
There are, but I don't know how long the orientation is going to be. He's 7. It's almost 3 hours away from his school because I don't have a car, plus we live an hour away from his school because no car. Otherwise, it would be 20 minutes. I can't drop him off to anyone because I live alone.
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I hate to offer this, but can he stay home for the one day? Is there anyone you trust that he could stay with?
 
Lord this week. DS failed his first college math test, DS3 got infractions3 times this week, and just called me cause he left his belt in the car and can't go to class without it. I'm tired and grumpy. I swear it feels like I'm fixing to pop. Just too much. I'm so tired and stressed. I just need a break to recuperate.

Just venting ladies. I hope your week is going better than mine is.

@whosthatcurl how did orientation go?
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Lord this week. DS failed his first college math test, DS3 got infractions3 times this week, and just called me cause he left his belt in the car and can't go to class without it. I'm tired and grumpy. I swear it feels like I'm fixing to pop. Just too much. I'm so tired and stressed. I just need a break to recuperate.

Just venting ladies. I hope your week is going better than mine is.

@whosthatcurl how did orientation go?
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Oooh, that sounded like a rough day. The orientation went well, but long story short I had to quit because the daycare lady decided she couldn't fit my son in her schedule after all. Hopefully, my mom comes to stay with me in October and I can try being employed again later :lachen:
 
I'm sorry to say, but my week has been quite nice with the exception of being sleep deprived. In less than a week I was able to get my son's new para fired from his care (stupid arse woman...don't get me started!!!), and now he has 3 different ladies who look out for him throughout the day.
Last night I had a nightmare to end all nightmares. Because of my sleeplessness, I decided to rub some valerian root on my temples last night before bed time. All went well. I was sleep before my head hit the pillow. I'm not sure what I was dreaming about, but there was man in the dream, half of his face was burned. At first he was at a good distance from me...then ALL OF A SUDDEN was all up in my face! SCARED THE CORN OUT OF ME! I woke up with a fright. This dream was so intense that even as I opened my eyes I could still see the image of the guy fading before my eyes in the darkness of the room. I was pissed. I mean, I was in a sound sleep and was jolted awake into near heart attack status. Fortunately, I was able to roll over and go back to sleep. But that interruption still left me feeling groggy by the time I woke up. I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday. No 4am wake up call.

So, how you doin?
 
whosthatcurl said:
Oooh, that sounded like a rough day. The orientation went well, but long story short I had to quit because the daycare lady decided she couldn't fit my son in her schedule after all. Hopefully, my mom comes to stay with me in October and I can try being employed again later :lachen:
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You know what? I bet this is for the best. Things like this would happen to me all the time, then something a million times better would fall into my lap. Bet. Keep us posted.
 
Did not know where to compartmentalize this:

I am growing resentful. This is the third gentleman I have run across that has custodial rights over their children.
They are letting the mothers move forward with their career, education, for the benefit of children and my douchebag won't do more than is required.
Won't get a job, with a f*ing Master degree. Hasn’t worked in over a decade leaving me to work and pick up the slack for his shortcomings. I said if I have to hustle during my marriage might as well be single, but s*!
I tired of the constant hustle. The anxiety I feel for giving my child the best is exhausting.
I have to check myself, because I find too these guys are searching for surrogate mothers.
 
whosthatcurl said:
I don't know how ladies do it who don't have support systems. I have a half assed one and I'm struggling like a mfer. My grandma said some people weren't meant to work, but I refuse to believe that. I'm not trying to be poor the rest of my life.
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lol I never heard any ish like that! My grandma worked like a dog and preferred to live in an "ice house" rather that turn the heat up in the winter to keep from paying for heat!

Don't sweat going to work. Work is not going anywhere. You might have to wait until your child is old enough to go to school fulltime. Other than acting gigs, I haven't worked since I was six months pregnant in 2009! I waited for my son to be in school full time before I decided to go back myself and finish up this little ol' degree. When I'm done with this first one I'm going to go ahead and get my second. I REFUSE to work any more dead end jobs.

It's better not to work if you can take that time to improve your skills or follow your dreams than to work some crap job. What's your passion?
 
IronButterfly said:
lol I never heard any ish like that! My grandma worked like a dog and preferred to live in an "ice house" rather that turn the heat up in the winter to keep from paying for heat!

Don't sweat going to work. Work is not going anywhere. You might have to wait until your child is old enough to go to school fulltime. Other than acting gigs, I haven't worked since I was six months pregnant in 2009! I waited for my son to be in school full time before I decided to go back myself and finish up this little ol' degree. When I'm done with this first one I'm going to go ahead and get my second. I REFUSE to work any more dead end jobs.

It's better not to work if you can take that time to improve your skills or follow your dreams than to work some crap job. What's your passion?
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He's in school full-time. He's in 2nd grade :lachen:I was on the path to improving my skills, when the school pulled a fast one on me and told me "they gave me too much financial aid." I can't pay for school off my meager income, that's why I'm job hunting. As for a passion, a weird as it sounds, I don't have something I'm particularly passionate about. I just haven't discovered it yet. And yeah my family is weird.
 
whosthatcurl said:
I don't know how ladies do it who don't have support systems. I have a half assed one and I'm struggling like a mfer. My grandma said some people weren't meant to work, but I refuse to believe that. I'm not trying to be poor the rest of my life.
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Other than dd father I do not have a support system. My mom and sister are severely disabled so I am also partially burdened with their care on top of my 10yo. Its getting to the point where I will have to force assisted living on them.

Anyway, you won't be poor forever. I think it gets better when the kids a little older and then you can let go a little at a time.

Are there work from home opportunities you can take advantage of?
 
whosthatcurl said:
I don't know how ladies do it who don't have support systems. I have a half assed one and I'm struggling like a mfer. My grandma said some people weren't meant to work, but I refuse to believe that. I'm not trying to be poor the rest of my life.
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Girl my support system has been whack from the gate. I have a few threads in here to prove it, lol. I manage cause I use the hell out of this welfare system till I can finish school. I will be more than happy when I graduate in December with my RN to ditch this social services nonsense. Childcare for me is crazy cause I work overnight and go to school but too poor to rent out here, lol. My mom has bailed on me too many times and so has my friend and my daughters aunt. All of this while I bend over backwards to help them. I need to help myself first! But yes it is hard but worth it in the end to me. Right now I just finished crying cause I had to end a friendship I have with my daughter's aunt because she is just unreliable and has a verbally abusive SO that thought it was OK to curse me out and kicked me out of HER house where he pays nothing and can't hold down any jobs. I told her what happened and she was like "I am sorry you feel that way". I was like Girl bye! I know abuse when I see it. I have been through it with her brother and damn sure ain't taking it from her SO. But anyway I went of topic, lol. It is hard but God will give you way when he feel you are ready for it!

ETA: look at childcare subsidies in your area. That's how I am able to get daycare for work.
 
snugglez41685 said:
Girl my support system has been whack from the gate. I have a few threads in here to prove it, lol. I manage cause I use the hell out of this welfare system till I can finish school. I will be more than happy when I graduate in December with my RN to ditch this social services nonsense. Childcare for me is crazy cause I work overnight and go to school but too poor to rent out here, lol. My mom has bailed on me too many times and so has my friend and my daughters aunt. All of this while I bend over backwards to help them. I need to help myself first! But yes it is hard but worth it in the end to me. Right now I just finished crying cause I had to end a friendship I have with my daughter's aunt because she is just unreliable and has a verbally abusive SO that thought it was OK to curse me out and kicked me out of HER house where he pays nothing and can't hold down any jobs. I told her what happened and she was like "I am sorry you feel that way". I was like Girl bye! I know abuse when I see it. I have been through it with her brother and damn sure ain't taking it from her SO. But anyway I went of topic, lol. It is hard but God will give you way when he feel you are ready for it!

ETA: look at childcare subsidies in your area. That's how I am able to get daycare for work.
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E-hug boo. That was a bunch of country-fried bull-ish. Use the government, cause they sure as sugar using us :lachen:I was just about to apply for the childcare subsidy, then the daycare lady got on some other ish *screwface, rolls eyes* I had to strategically retreat, so I can find a new approach to an old thing. <<this line reminds me, has anyone heard Lloyd's (the singer) new song Tru? I'm in love wit it lol.
 
Know what? Please don't judge me but...

I cant wait til she past this trick or treating bs!!! Omg!

I actually love hallowen. I deck the house with decorations, do spooky stuff. But going door to door the last 10 years is real damn tired.

And it's such a big to-do! All her daddy and his extended family tag along. Like 15 adults and elderly with like 3 little kids :spinning: we running the streets for like 3 hours. Miles of candy collecting.

I just don't want to this year!!!:mad:
 
Man, I have to share. After many years of grinding my teeth down to the bone, I finally told my mother off! I was going to do it over the phone, but she hung up on me when I told her to shut up and let me talk for a change. So I did it by text. And...I feel so freaking GOOD!

I feel like I finally shed some funky skin. The catalyst was some negative remarks she made about my son who has special needs. I couldn't just shrug it off...and it's been over a year. I've been far too kind to her. Ah well, have a wonderful day, ya'll!!!!
 
whosthatcurl said:
I don't know how ladies do it who don't have support systems. I have a half assed one and I'm struggling like a mfer. My grandma said some people weren't meant to work, but I refuse to believe that. I'm not trying to be poor the rest of my life.
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That's so crazy. If it's one thing I don't have to worry about is my family watching DS if I have to work. We all try to help each other out when work is involved. Now I may not babysit so you can go hit the town but if you need someone to watch your kids or pick them up and I'm free I'll do it.
 
I didn't know where to post this so I decided here. I didn't want to post in the financial forum cause I didn't think my situation fit there.


So I wanted to ask for some opinions. I have been invited to Maryland for Thanksgiving to see family. Haven't been there in several years. I would love to go and don't mind taking the days off but trying to figure out the best way to get there. I have a Ford Taurus 2004 with 46,500 mile on it. I just changed the starter and serpentine belt. Car is running fine no issues since I bought it in March exept maintenance. My friend said not to drive it down there in case it broke down. My mom said not to cause I woud be putting miles on it. And one of my guy friends that knows a lot about cars said it shouldn't be a problem. My cousin invited me and thought I would ride with my father and I said I haven't spoken to him in about 2 years. I said I wouldn't mind but let her know we hadn't spoke in awhile. I could also rent a car or take the bus or train. I am trying to figue out the most money saving thing to do.

ETA: I live in NY so Maryland is about an
4hr drive, and estimated 240 miles from where I live.
 
snugglez41685 said:
I didn't know where to post this so I decided here. I didn't want to post in the financial forum cause I didn't think my situation fit there.


So I wanted to ask for some opinions. I have been invited to Maryland for Thanksgiving to see family. Haven't been there in several years. I would love to go and don't mind taking the days off but trying to figure out the best way to get there. I have a Ford Taurus 2004 with 46,500 mile on it. I just changed the starter and serpentine belt. Car is running fine no issues since I bought it in March exept maintenance. My friend said not to drive it down there in case it broke down. My mom said not to cause I woud be putting miles on it. And one of my guy friends that knows a lot about cars said it shouldn't be a problem. My cousin invited me and thought I would ride with my father and I said I haven't spoken to him in about 2 years. I said I wouldn't mind but let her know we hadn't spoke in awhile. I could also rent a car or take the bus or train. I am trying to figue out the most money saving thing to do.

ETA: I live in NY so Maryland is about an
4hr drive, and estimated 240 miles from where I live.
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LOL @putting miles on a car. That's what cars are for!

If you are comfy driving 4 hrs as the sole driver then do it. It's the cheapest way. I certainly would. Do it all the time but 4hrs as only driver is my upper limit. I pause halfway for a break.
 
DarkJoy said:
LOL @putting miles on a car. That's what cars are for!

If you are comfy driving 4 hrs as the sole driver then do it. It's the cheapest way. I certainly would. Do it all the time but 4hrs as only driver is my upper limit. I pause halfway for a break.
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Thanks for the input! I have always wanted to do a road trip so I guess this will be me and lil mama's first road trip!
 
snugglez41685 said:
I didn't know where to post this so I decided here. I didn't want to post in the financial forum cause I didn't think my situation fit there.


So I wanted to ask for some opinions. I have been invited to Maryland for Thanksgiving to see family. Haven't been there in several years. I would love to go and don't mind taking the days off but trying to figure out the best way to get there. I have a Ford Taurus 2004 with 46,500 mile on it. I just changed the starter and serpentine belt. Car is running fine no issues since I bought it in March exept maintenance. My friend said not to drive it down there in case it broke down. My mom said not to cause I woud be putting miles on it. And one of my guy friends that knows a lot about cars said it shouldn't be a problem. My cousin invited me and thought I would ride with my father and I said I haven't spoken to him in about 2 years. I said I wouldn't mind but let her know we hadn't spoke in awhile. I could also rent a car or take the bus or train. I am trying to figue out the most money saving thing to do.

ETA: I live in NY so Maryland is about an
4hr drive, and estimated 240 miles from where I live.
Click to expand...
Girl if you don't want to drive do the bus or the train. Your care is a 2004 with only 46,000 miles on it that's nothing. I would drive if I were you. Just don't do it at night.
 
snugglez41685 said:
Thanks for the input! I have always wanted to do a road trip so I guess this will be me and lil mama's first road trip!
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Just be sure at the least you have fresh oil and coolant / antifreeze and be sure your turns are good (not bald or too low)before hitting the road (all that can be done at a drive thru Oil Changers for cheap and in a few minutes ) and that someone has your license plate etc. Check in with ppl every so often and have a tow service or your insurance emergency number on deck. Extra snack and juice for the little one and you in case you do get stuck for minute and get hungry. Always be safe and have fun!
 
snugglez41685 said:
I didn't know where to post this so I decided here. I didn't want to post in the financial forum cause I didn't think my situation fit there.


So I wanted to ask for some opinions. I have been invited to Maryland for Thanksgiving to see family. Haven't been there in several years. I would love to go and don't mind taking the days off but trying to figure out the best way to get there. I have a Ford Taurus 2004 with 46,500 mile on it. I just changed the starter and serpentine belt. Car is running fine no issues since I bought it in March exept maintenance. My friend said not to drive it down there in case it broke down. My mom said not to cause I woud be putting miles on it. And one of my guy friends that knows a lot about cars said it shouldn't be a problem. My cousin invited me and thought I would ride with my father and I said I haven't spoken to him in about 2 years. I said I wouldn't mind but let her know we hadn't spoke in awhile. I could also rent a car or take the bus or train. I am trying to figue out the most money saving thing to do.

ETA: I live in NY so Maryland is about an
4hr drive, and estimated 240 miles from where I live.
Click to expand...

Girl, drive yourself. You have an extremely low mileage car and if nothing is wrong with it, the engine should be just fine. PLUS you keep your independence if something were to "flare up" (you know how family can be!). You do not want to depend on a ride with someone you haven't spoken to in two years. 4 hours isn't that bad. Just bring your credit card along for any emergency. But trust me, cars were made for racking up miles. Rental cars will suck you dry and riding the bus or train will still make you depended on others and their schedules and temperament. Driving yourself will also save you money.
 
snugglez41685 said:
I didn't know where to post this so I decided here. I didn't want to post in the financial forum cause I didn't think my situation fit there.


So I wanted to ask for some opinions. I have been invited to Maryland for Thanksgiving to see family. Haven't been there in several years. I would love to go and don't mind taking the days off but trying to figure out the best way to get there. I have a Ford Taurus 2004 with 46,500 mile on it. I just changed the starter and serpentine belt. Car is running fine no issues since I bought it in March exept maintenance. My friend said not to drive it down there in case it broke down. My mom said not to cause I woud be putting miles on it. And one of my guy friends that knows a lot about cars said it shouldn't be a problem. My cousin invited me and thought I would ride with my father and I said I haven't spoken to him in about 2 years. I said I wouldn't mind but let her know we hadn't spoke in awhile. I could also rent a car or take the bus or train. I am trying to figue out the most money saving thing to do.

ETA: I live in NY so Maryland is about an
4hr drive, and estimated 240 miles from where I live.
Click to expand...

I would drive...Your car is over 10 years old with only 46,000 miles?
 
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