♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

Aww thank you ladies for your prayers, well wishes and advice :bighug:

This is what happends when you alienate ALL family and ALL friends. Typical of an abusive household--my mom isnt innocent either. I've never met any other family because as crazy abusives do, they run everyone off. They have no friends. Even service people leave and dont return to finish jobs and they wonder why. I gotta be there to distract and babysit and apologize to the plumbers, electricians who come to fix stuff so they'll not get insulted or treated like trash when there!

Yes, the bf is the last thing on my list. I mean, I have almost zero time for him. Plus I'm still irritated by his job situation. He be texting me and stuff and asking when he's going to see me and whatnot and I just get so annoyed sometimes. It's like one more thing to worry about and feel put upon over.

However, some of that is just me (short tempered) and I know it. He's offered to come with me to clean up their house and help cook their meals, or watch DD while I tend to them (NO WAY--but the thought is nice).

As for getting in-home aide, I am going to look into that next week since I have time off work before I start full-time. However, mother is belligerent about it. She's even getting mad at me for coming by and cleaning, cooking and dropping off food and groceries, like I'm stepping on her territory. but she can not SEE the state of the house (she doesnt have total blindness) and my sister is too incapacitated to help.

And their house is huge on a half acre lot. Took me 3 hours just to get 1/4 of the first floor done. WTF! Aint nobody got time for that. My daughter needs a clean home, cooked meals, etc.

Manatory good news: GOT A FABULOUS SITTER---one of DD's TEACHERS!!!!! YAY!!!! Praise the good lord!!!
 
DarkJoy said:
Aww thank you ladies for your prayers, well wishes and advice :bighug:

This is what happends when you alienate ALL family and ALL friends. Typical of an abusive household--my mom isnt innocent either. I've never met any other family because as crazy abusives do, they run everyone off. They have no friends. Even service people leave and dont return to finish jobs and they wonder why. I gotta be there to distract and babysit and apologize to the plumbers, electricians who come to fix stuff so they'll not get insulted or treated like trash when there!

Yes, the bf is the last thing on my list. I mean, I have almost zero time for him. Plus I'm still irritated by his job situation. He be texting me and stuff and asking when he's going to see me and whatnot and I just get so annoyed sometimes. It's like one more thing to worry about and feel put upon over.

However, some of that is just me (short tempered) and I know it. He's offered to come with me to clean up their house and help cook their meals, or watch DD while I tend to them (NO WAY--but the thought is nice).

As for getting in-home aide, I am going to look into that next week since I have time off work before I start full-time. However, mother is belligerent about it. She's even getting mad at me for coming by and cleaning, cooking and dropping off food and groceries, like I'm stepping on her territory. but she can not SEE the state of the house (she doesnt have total blindness) and my sister is too incapacitated to help.

And their house is huge on a half acre lot. Took me 3 hours just to get 1/4 of the first floor done. WTF! Aint nobody got time for that. My daughter needs a clean home, cooked meals, etc.

Manatory good news: GOT A FABULOUS SITTER---one of DD's TEACHERS!!!!! YAY!!!! Praise the good lord!!!
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Glad you found a baby sitter. Sending positive vibes your way :)
 
Hey moms! Yall so quiet!

Whats up for xmas and new years with you and your little/big ones?

I wanna beat dd daddy upside the head. He managed to shirk her for all the holidays in favor of being with his friends and heaux. He hasn't even shopped for her yet. She also has a school holiday performance tonight but apparently couldn't change up his really flexible work schedule to attend :rolleyes:

So it will be her, the bf and I for xmas snd new years. Will sprinkled in visits to my family.

I saved up so got her everything she asked for plus extras. So not complaining there. God is good. But I caught the little scamp going through her stocking already trying to eat the candy!!! Oooo!! :lol:
 
This is the first year that DD and I will spend the holidays with another man. It will be us and SO and his 2 girls. We are doing Christmas at my house. We put up the tree and decorations and I got DD what she wanted and his girls each a present.

Still no word from her dad (as usual)
 
Ready for Xmas! All the presents I ordered arrived on time and me, my sister and the kiddies will be gift wrapping on Xmas eve. DD's dad sent her a gift that I'm not sure if she's going to like- it's an instrument and she hasn't had any lessons...I wish he would have asked me what she wanted before sending it but his pride is too big, I guess. I saved the box, just in case I may need to return it. I didn't have time this year to make Caribbean Black cake so I'm buying one from my neighbor. I'm going to pace myself this time because I ate too much cake last year and gained all my weight back. I also went to my cousin's huge birthday celebration this past weekend with great food, entertainment and music- I danced until I split my pants.. I figure if I could break a sweat like that on the regular, I would back to my skinny Minnie self in no time- my jeans gave me muffin top like mug..
 
Working my arse off right through xmas eve. Took last week off but that was work dealing with my parents, car, xmas shopping

I am very grateful though that my career pays enough that I dont have to worry too much about certain things so am able to give dd a great xmas and a decent material and emotional and spiritual life regardless of her living between two homes. And thank god I dont need his money for spousal or child support.

Feeling quite proud of myself this morning. That is all. Carry on :)
 
How is 2015 treating you ladies so far?

I had so many changes in the latter part of 2014 that I didn't post much. I'm settling into my new position and our first home as well. DS loves the changes! His school was closed today but, I got to stay home with him because I can work from home... I LOVE my new job!
 
Goodness! How did I ever miss this thread? This is def right up my alley. Happy New Year all you special single mommies. I decided last fall to just jump into to school instead of waiting until my boy started kindergarten this fall. I thought I had some help in the guise of my son's new PCA, but she really turned out to be a piece of work and quit on me at the two week mark, so I had to drop a class to keep my grades from slipping. That was the most jacked up 11 weeks of my life! lol But I got through it getting an A in programming and a B+ in adv algebra.
Now I'm ready to start it all over again in the new year. I learned a lot about NOT procrastinating. lol

I have a five year old boy born with Spina Bifida, so my work load is a little more than the average bear's. I'm just grateful that, even though my son's condition is "severe", it's not grievous. He uses a wheelchair to get around, but in the big scheme of things, that's not really a big deal. He can do the splits like nobody's business! :lol: He likes to pop wheelies in his chair, so I have to keep the rear guards on to keep him from flipping his chair back.

Anyhoo, school is kinda scary. Computer science. I've always avoided math and science and anything that would tax my brain too much. But they say if you don't challenge yourself you're bound for stagnation. (OK, I said THAT, but I'm sure it's a paraphrase of what somebody said who is really successful).:look: I want the best for my son and need to think of his future. Plus, I like buying hair products and I'm-a need a jay OH b where I can indulge without breaking the bank or getting evicted. :look:
 
IronButterfly said:
Goodness! How did I ever miss this thread? This is def right up my alley. Happy New Year all you special single mommies. I decided last fall to just jump into to school instead of waiting until my boy started kindergarten this fall. I thought I had some help in the guise of my son's new PCA, but she really turned out to be a piece of work and quit on me at the two week mark, so I had to drop a class to keep my grades from slipping. That was the most jacked up 11 weeks of my life! lol But I got through it getting an A in programming and a B+ in adv algebra.
Now I'm ready to start it all over again in the new year. I learned a lot about NOT procrastinating. lol

I have a five year old boy born with Spina Bifida, so my work load is a little more than the average bear's. I'm just grateful that, even though my son's condition is "severe", it's not grievous. He uses a wheelchair to get around, but in the big scheme of things, that's not really a big deal. He can do the splits like nobody's business! :lol: He likes to pop wheelies in his chair, so I have to keep the rear guards on to keep him from flipping his chair back.

Anyhoo, school is kinda scary. Computer science. I've always avoided math and science and anything that would tax my brain too much. But they say if you don't challenge yourself you're bound for stagnation. (OK, I said THAT, but I'm sure it's a paraphrase of what somebody said who is really successful).:look: I want the best for my son and need to think of his future. Plus, I like buying hair products and I'm-a need a jay OH b where I can indulge without breaking the bank or getting evicted. :look:
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:lachen: Why did I just imagine him popping a wheelie in an aisle at Target. Boys!!!
 
Hey Mommies,

We had a pretty low key holiday time, we don't Christmas celebrate but the 30th we celebrated my son's bday. He turned 20
I forgot to mention my son got robbed a gun point on the 23rd, :thud: He was walking to my MIL house and 4 boys were walking ahead of him. He said they were looking back at him so he slowed down so he wouldn't come up to them. Three boys stopped and one kept walking. He caught up to the boys and one grabbed him asking him for "something" My son told him/them that he didn't have anything. The boy showed him the gun and my son told them he didn't have anything. Another one went behind him, hit him on his head and took his cell that was in his back pocket. My son proceeds to run after them as they ran away :thud: The police was coming up the street as they are running and stops all of them. My son gets his phone back after they took him to the police station.

My son went after them b/c this phone was his 3rd one last year and he stated he didn't want to hear our mouths about another. I explained to him that I could replace a phone but not his life. I am so grateful that it didn't turn out worst. It was the day before my exh bday so it would've been a mess :nono:

My friend told me and my son he was lucky the police didn't get out shoot at all of them :nono:

I tell you having older kids some days is as bad as having toddlers :nono:
 
shyekiera said:
I was thinking about Disney for spring Break. .. haven't been some I was a kid
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I want to go in March for my bday but I don't know if we are going to be able to swing it. We went on the Disney cruise back in 2012, I loved every minute of it. :yep:
 
I'm so glad your son was ok and not harmed by those boys or the police! 3jsmom.

I know it was bad for him to run after them but I'm kinda impressed at the same time.
 
Hey Mommies, Happy Tuesday. I hope everyone is doing well. We are getting prepared for Driver's License tests, my baby is turning 16 next month so we are planning a surprise bday party, oldest girl got her final two college apps in last week and son looking for work.

Soon I will have two drivers to do all the driving around, I can't wait!!!!!
 
I am trying to figure out the best solution in my head for dealing with my daughter's father. He is emotionally abusive and a narcissist. I don't want my daughter to be affected by this but who am I to interfere in the father daughter relationship? I take full responsibility for choosing this man to be her father but I don't want her hurt. He still talks down to me like garbage and tells many lies about starting a business. He hadn't seen his daughter since July and just saw her for New years while trying to work me over. He would quote things about me and talk about old times. My daughter was constipated because of emotional issues with him. She would hold her bowels because she was distraught by not seeing him regularly. I had to stop this so when he tried to come around months later I ignored his text and calls. I felt bad but I couldn't have my lil girl come back home like that. She is more important to me than their father daughter relationship.

He forces me in uncomfortable situations when it comes to seeing her. He will try to force me to do everything his way. I thought about going through the courts about this but how do I prove this? It still hurts to know he will always look down on me and judge me. But then I remember I am doing a great deal of positive in my life. He nitpicks at everything I do with her down to her hair. He told me you need to stop doing her hair like that she says you hurt her. Or he will say you need to dress her like this or do this like that. But if I say anything back I am a B$%?h. Or I am not compromising enough. Or whatever other bull excuse he can come up with. I receive no child support and he shops for her maybe twice a year.

I found out from his sister(we are good friends) that he and his girlfriend were telling her and their mother I was picking fights with his girlfriend. How the hell is that possible when I am busy being a mom,working and going to school. His sister had my back 100% on that. I remember his girlfriend crying hysterically and trying to comfort her so why the hell would I pick fights? This has been weighing on me for awhile and I just needed to vent. His narcissistic personality is textbook and it is so draining to the point I wished he would disappear forever.

Thanks for listening :)
 
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snugglez41685 said:
I am trying to figure out the best solution in my head for dealing with my daughter's father. He is emotionally abusive and a narcissist. I don't want my daughter to be affected by this but who am I to interfere in the father daughter relationship? I take full responsibility for choosing this man to be her father but I don't want her hurt. He still talks down to me like garbage and tells many lies about starting a business. He hadn't seen his daughter since July and just saw her for New years while trying to work me over. He would quote things about me and talk about old times. My daughter was constipated because of emotional issues with him. She would hold her bowels because she was distraught by not seeing him regularly. I had to stop this so when he tried to come around months later I ignored his text and calls. I felt bad but I couldn't have my lil girl come back home like that. She is more important to me than their father daughter relationship. He forces me in uncomfortable situations when it comes to seeing her. He will try to force me to do everything his way. I thought about going through the courts about this but how do I prove this? It still hurts to know he will always look down on me and judge me. But then I remember I am doing a great deal of positive in my life. He nitpicks at everything I do with her down to her hair. He told me you need to stop doing her hair like that she says you hurt her. Or he will say you need to dress her like this or do this like that. But if I say anything back I am a B$%?h. Or I am not compromising enough. Or whatever other bull excuse he can come up with. I receive no child support and he shops for her maybe twice a year. I found out from his sister(we are good friends) that he and his girlfriend were telling her and their mother I was picking fights with his girlfriend. How the hell is that possible when I am busy being a mom,working and going to school. His sister had my back 100% on that. I remember his girlfriend crying hysterically and trying to comfort her so why the hell would I pick fights? This has been weighing on me for awhile and I just needed to vent. His narcissistic personality is textbook and it is so draining to the point I wished he would disappear forever. Thanks for listening :)
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Get you baby some counseling and seek a lawyer. You need to tell him that you will not be a part of any negative talk, so the minute he goes there, tell him you will talk to him later! Do not feed the beast. Keep your conversations very short and direct. Don't get personal with him and don't allow him to get personal with you. Unless he is talking about some of relevance, you don't need to engage. don't talk about him to his sister anymore. Don't talk to his girlfriend anymore. Is his name on any forms as a contact /pickup person/ listed as father at school/doctor's office?
 
shortdub78 said:
Get you baby some counseling and seek a lawyer. You need to tell him that you will not be a part of any negative talk, so the minute he goes there, tell him you will talk to him later! Do not feed the beast. Keep your conversations very short and direct. Don't get personal with him and don't allow him to get personal with you. Unless he is talking about some of relevance, you don't need to engage. don't talk about him to his sister anymore. Don't talk to his girlfriend anymore. Is his name on any forms as a contact /pickup person/ listed as father at school/doctor's office?
Click to expand...
and you are the custodial parent. You let him know through your actions that you are running the show. You don't allow him to just pop up.
 
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