♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

DarkJoy

DarkJoy

Bent. Not Broken.
Let's get this going and offer each other advice, support, whatever on life as a single mom. Let's make this a safe place (we know how this can go on LHCF), so:

NO JUDGEMENT from non-moms, married moms, or other single moms. If you have NON-JUDGEMENTAL advice from life experience offer it respectfully. Leave the coulda, shoulda, wouldas at the door. We're dealing with the NOW as best we can just like anyone else.

So, single moms: It doesn't matter how you got here, whether divorced, a BM, widowed, or have a new husband/serious SO and dealing with blending your families. All that matters is that you're handling life as it is today.


And let's not keep the conversation on just men. Other areas of support can be:
  • life/time management
  • work
  • education
  • home-life
  • the kids (of course!)
So, moms...what's going on in your world?:circle:
 
I'll be brave and start :hide:

Totally not man related. I just signed another work contract with another client. And I have a side hustle. So that's 3 jobs :look:

Thing is, I'm just trying to get out of debt. I'm not hurting. We want for nothing (other than a good long vacay). Just trying to get out of debt faster.

However between the new man, the jobs and the kid... I think I'm gonna have to spend money on a part time nanny! Ugh! Once the second contract gets going, I'll have to see how the time works out.... I'll be working up to 7 days a week soon. Less LHCF time :(! (course I'm at work now :look: :lol:)
 
Thank you for starting this thread. I'm glad to have you ladies as my e-friends. God knows I need them now *hugs*
 
Although my kids are grown now I hope I can still pop in here. I was a teen mother (had my oldest my senior yr of high school) so I hope I can help others who may need advice dealing with those issues.
 
Thanks @DarkJoy for starting this thread :grin:

Not sure what kind of intro everyone will give, but I am single mom of a 19 yo son, 17 and 14 year old daughters. I work fullt time and going to school right now.

Hairsnob I had my first at 16, so I will be raking your brain about how is life after they go to college. That is the part I am trying to get my mind wrapped around.
 
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Ohh 3jsmom! Good idea on the intro. Obviously, I will be living in this thread so here's my stats:

40
Divorcing (was with exH 20 years)
DD age 7
Biz Owner

kaykari, I ran into 2 and wrote about them on this board. They let themselves be known really early on. Like within the first date for one and the first month for the other. I have very strong restrictions with men near my daughter. It doesnt just happen. They tell themselves if you're really listening. I think the horror stories are from moms who really had no boundaries, were lonely, or had horrible pasts themselves that they did not address.
 
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kaykari said:
Im so afraid of pedophiles...makes dating tough
Click to expand...


Agreed!!!! My kids are much older now so I don't worry much as I did in the past. I am just not going to introduce my babies to anyone even at the age they are now.

I dated a guy briefly last year and he raised his kids they were a little older than mine but he was very respectful to my kids and could relate to be guarded with his children. I don't have time to go to jail for someone put their hands on my kids. :lachen:
 
Smiley79 I was the same way last year, I was like I am going to rot while my kids are off going to college and living their lives. I joined a few meet up groups to help me come out of my introvert shell but it is still hard b/c I like to retreat. I am taking it one step at a time.
 
Thank you....

I'm glad we have thread...

I'm a single mother of three..

18(daughter in college), Son(17, 11th Grade) and my lovely son (9,elem. school)

I want to enjoy and live my life..
I have sacrificed for so long and do everything and now that they are older.

I don't know where to begin.:blush::blush:
 
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girlfriend you sound like me...:lachen::lachen:


Smiley79 said:
Yeahhhh, I have a home, lol!!! :) Great thread. Subbing.
As a single mom, my biggest issue is that I need to get out of my shell...in 4 years my lovely daughter will be 18. What am I waiting for to live my life? smh. Instead, I allow finances and everyday life to burden me and block me from "living". looking forward to this thread.
Click to expand...
 
SweetlyCurly said:
That's one on my biggest fear and the biggest reason I have yet to go on a date since my son was born
Click to expand...

Dont be so afraid you dont live your life. It's really about vetting your potentials. One tip is Pedos can be so eager they give themselves away pretty quickly too. One common example between the two men I ran across was their over-interest in meeting my dd really early like the first damn date. Too many questions about her. Neither got near her obviously, since im not posting from prison.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*
 
Love this thread! Another single mom here. I have a 7 year old son, Benjamin. His father and I normally have a "decent" relationship, but since he married a year ago, he has become very difficult to work with and unpredictable. I'm not really sure what that is about, but life goes on.
 
DarkJoy said:
Dont be so afraid you dont live your life. It's really about vetting your potentials. One tip is Pedos can be so eager they give themselves away pretty quickly too. One common example between the two men I ran across was their over-interest in meeting my dd really early like the first damn date. Too many questions about her. Neither got near her obviously, since im not posting from prison.

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*
Click to expand...

Wow! Overly creepy! Glad you were able to see through it
 
DarkJoy said:
I'll be brave and start :hide:

Totally not man related. I just signed another work contract with another client. And I have a side hustle. So that's 3 jobs :look:

Thing is, I'm just trying to get out of debt. I'm not hurting. We want for nothing (other than a good long vacay). Just trying to get out of debt faster.

However between the new man, the jobs and the kid... I think I'm gonna have to spend money on a part time nanny! Ugh! Once the second contract gets going, I'll have to see how the time works out.... I'll be working up to 7 days a week soon. Less LHCF time :(! (course I'm at work now :look: :lol:)
Click to expand...

That's a lot of juggling!
 
Hairsnob said:
Although my kids are grown now I hope I can still pop in here. I was a teen mother (had my oldest my senior yr of high school) so I hope I can help others who may need advice dealing with those issues.
Click to expand...

Lol......I'm an almost old head too. My oldest is about to turn 20. Marking my spot!
 
Yes, lets please talk about juggling finances as a SM. Fighting for every little bread crumb trying to get by and doing it with a positive spirit. That's why many times I don't go out, im more concerned about staying on top of bills rather than going out and spending that money on pleasure. I really really want to find a balance btwn the two. Big goal of mine.
 
Oh intro....
All boys.....20, 16, and 11. Just me. Been single at my longest point almost 8 years. My middle son has disabilities that made things tougher for me when he was younger. Had absolutely no time or energy to date.
Really put myself out there last year and met an awesome man. They are warming up to him quite nicely.
Things were very rough for me. No family support. ...but when I look back on it and what it taught me, how much stronger I am. I'm very grateful.
 
Smiley79 said:
Yes, lets please talk about juggling finances as a SM. Fighting for every little bread crumb trying to get by and doing it with a positive spirit. That's why many times I don't go out, im more concerned about staying on top of bills rather than going out and spending that money on pleasure. I really really want to find a balance btwn the two. Big goal of mine.
Click to expand...

Honestly for me I didn't have a choice. Lost a lot of friends because I couldn't afford to go out eating and drinking.......but it showed me that not everyone is your true friend. And if they weren't true I didn't need them anyway.
 
Hello Everyone! I would like to say Hi! I am the divorced mother of a 23 year old son. He has a disability and I think we will live together a long time. I have not dated much since he was in the world. I have seen a few people and the last I was seeing was off and on for about 10 years. I let it go. My parents had some illness and my Dad died a good death in 11/2013. My mother needs help right now so I am doing that as best I can. My son is a really big help to me and his Granny. Unfortunately, he is a better helper than my 2 siblings.

My son rode a bus to school for the disabled. There were bus aides who were very "helpful". One of these was arrested for assaulting a kid in a local municipal complex. Not with his fists mind you. Do not be afraid to be called over protective.
Keep on guarding your children. Pedophiles will do your sons and your daughters. The arrestee actually asked me once if my son could spend the night. I declined. Look at what was revealed.:look:
 
Got a couple small topics to get off your chest Smiley79 :lol:. I'd like to respond to those tonight when I'm off work and the LO is put to bed.

I'd also like to thank the veterans for posting like Hairsnob and crlsweetie912 (and anyone else I'm missing)! We got a wealth of knowledge and experience up in here :yep:
 
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