*Single Ladies*: What Are We Doing to Attract Love In 2014??

[sapphire74]

Crystalicequeen123 nothing to report here! I love the attitude that you have taken and are getting out and enjoying life! I am thinking I need to take the same approach and make it all about me and just enjoy myself. Thanks for sharing your update!

 

[okange76]

Crystalicequeen123

It's been tumbleweeds all year. No one has caught my eye yet. I sort of gave up a long time ago. I don't look at all. Still bumping heads with my mum who is on SOS mode for grand kids as well as being upset that I haven't stepped up my makeup game. I guess lipstick will find me a man quicker. Who knows !!.

I've also continued hanging out with my friends and going to Cuban parties, festivals and concerts. The music has kept me sane. Doesn't hurt that the men are serious eye candy. Unfortunately monogamy is not a requirement in that scene. I can't hang.

Recently got laid off so I'm in the job market so dating has taken a major back burner. C'est la vie.

 

[nesha24]

Lawd this is me! I don't go anywhere!! and you know what every guy I've ever talked to was a friend of a friend so maybe I need to start making my own independent friends you know? what I am extremely socially awkward. also but I always feel like I look like a hot mess doesn't help you know what they say if you look good you feel good and feeling good would help me get out and meet you guys!

this is me! we should be friends!

 

[Nelli04]

This year (like almost every year) has been dry and uneventful. I try to go places, but I always attract guys who are younger than me or guys who are waaayy older (at least 12 years)...sometimes i wonder why I have been stuck in this predicament for so long...

 

[Danewshe]

Buying some pets.

 

[ivyness]

Nothing. Buying some cats

 

[kandake]

I'm seeing someone. We're having a great time getting to know one another. I may not be single at the end of 2014. But we'll see.

 

[MamitaLolita]

Working on myself.

 

[girlonfire]

this is me! we should be friends!

Really!? What have you been doing to attract love? Cats, dogs, parakeets? I can't get any right now, pets are too expensive. I've just been being myself really lol. I'm still socially awkward but I've turned it into a friendly kind of awkward so that people will sometimes talk to me.

 

[missjones]

I've done nothing in this department this year.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

@Crystalicequeen123 nothing to report here! I love the attitude that you have taken and are getting out and enjoying life! I am thinking I need to take the same approach and make it all about me and just enjoy myself. Thanks for sharing your update!

sapphire74

Thanks girl! You know what, maybe you should try it for yourself! I just feel so FREE. I STILL want a relationship (make no mistake about that), but ever since I just STOPPED the search, I find myself feeling more RELAXED, especially in environments where there are single guys. I just feel more content and happy with myself now days.

It's funny, but ever since I've started focusing more on MYSELF and my own happiness, I've found that I'm not feeling AS desperate for a relationship lol. It's funny how that works.

@Crystalicequeen123

It's been tumbleweeds all year. No one has caught my eye yet. I sort of gave up a long time ago. I don't look at all. Still bumping heads with my mum who is on SOS mode for grand kids as well as being upset that I haven't stepped up my makeup game. I guess lipstick will find me a man quicker. Who knows !!.

I've also continued hanging out with my friends and going to Cuban parties, festivals and concerts. The music has kept me sane. Doesn't hurt that the men are serious eye candy. Unfortunately monogamy is not a requirement in that scene. I can't hang.

Recently got laid off so I'm in the job market so dating has taken a major back burner. C'est la vie.

okange76 Good for you for continuing to go out, have fun, enjoying the music scene, and living your life. Plus, you just never know! There may be SOME relationship-minded men at those events who are monogamous...... So, don't close off yourself just yet! But I understand....If you want marriage-minded men, you have to go where they go. Do you have any married girl friends who's husbands may have some single buddies?? :eyebrows2

This year (like almost every year) has been dry and uneventful. I try to go places, but I always attract guys who are younger than me or guys who are waaayy older (at least 12 years)...sometimes i wonder why I have been stuck in this predicament for so long...

Nelli04 IF you don't mind me asking, what age range are you in? How YOUNG are these guys that are attracted to you?

I'm just asking because depending on the age group/bracket that you're in, sometimes a guy being a little younger isn't too bad, and a guy being 10 years older isn't AS bad either. I guess it just depends. Sometimes you can connect w/someone and they're not the age range you usually go for, but I would keep my options open.

Do you LOOK much younger than your age? Do you act a lot younger than your age? It could be that you're just very youthful, either in appearance or in your behavior. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you're trying to attract guys closer to your age range, maybe you need to see if there's something that you're doing, or wearing, carrying yourself that may be attracting the young bucks and do the opposite lol.

Personally?? For me I'd rather LOOK and seem younger than I am than to look OLDER or seem older. IMO I think you're in a good position in the fact that when you get older you could attract guys who are your age AND younger, so you get a bigger pool of guys. That's just my opinion though lol.

Nothing. Buying some cats

ivyness No....don't give up!!

I'm seeing someone. We're having a great time getting to know one another. I may not be single at the end of 2014. But we'll see.

kandake YAY!!! We got one score for the ladies!!! Congrats! Where did you meet him? How did he let you know he was interested? Give us the deets!!!

 

[nesha24]

Really!? What have you been doing to attract love? Cats, dogs, parakeets? I can't get any right now, pets are too expensive. I've just been being myself really lol. I'm still socially awkward but I've turned it into a friendly kind of awkward so that people will sometimes talk to me.

I thought about a puppy, but my apt doesn't allow pets. i'm really awkward too especially with my friends who are married. I need more single friends!

 

[kandake]

YAY!!! We got one score for the ladies!!! Congrats! Where did you meet him? How did he let you know he was interested? Give us the deets!!!

Thank you.

I don't want to share too much but we met at work. We were just acquaintances for a couple of years. But earlier this year we started developing a friendship. It recently progressed to dating. We're both relationship people so we're just trying to figure out if we're supposed to be in relationship with each other. I figure the end of the year would be a good amount of time for the both of us to determine what we want to do.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Thank you.

I don't want to share too much but we met at work. We were just acquaintances for a couple of years. But earlier this year we started developing a friendship. It recently progressed to dating. We're both relationship people so we're just trying to figure out if we're supposed to be in relationship with each other. I figure the end of the year would be a good amount of time for the both of us to determine what we want to do.

@kandake

Awwww...that sounds so sweet. I agree, just take it slow. That's nice that you two have known each other for years. I always think that friendships make the best relationships, and that I would probably want to have known (or at least known OF) my future husband for a little while before we actually start dating.

There's actually a co-worker in my office who has started dating a man who she's actually known for years, but he was the ex-husband of one of her best friends. She's NEVER had a thing for him at all (they were always just friends), but lately he's been courting her. Her best friend (the ex) has been trying to hook the two of them up for YEARS!! Go figure!

So, you just never know where you will find love!!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I am still going out but have transitioned from feeling I have to do a certain number of activities or specific activities to just activities that are life-giving to me. I feel so peaceful and calm about everything. It's October and I haven't even had my "the holiday is coming and I'm alone" freakout. LOL.

 

[Nelli04]

Nelli04 IF you don't mind me asking, what age range are you in? How YOUNG are these guys that are attracted to you?

I'm just asking because depending on the age group/bracket that you're in, sometimes a guy being a little younger isn't too bad, and a guy being 10 years older isn't AS bad either. I guess it just depends. Sometimes you can connect w/someone and they're not the age range you usually go for, but I would keep my options open.

Do you LOOK much younger than your age? Do you act a lot younger than your age? It could be that you're just very youthful, either in appearance or in your behavior. There's nothing wrong with that, but if you're trying to attract guys closer to your age range, maybe you need to see if there's something that you're doing, or wearing, carrying yourself that may be attracting the young bucks and do the opposite lol.

Personally?? For me I'd rather LOOK and seem younger than I am than to look OLDER or seem older. IMO I think you're in a good position in the fact that when you get older you could attract guys who are your age AND younger, so you get a bigger pool of guys. That's just my opinion though lol.

I am 28. Guys who are still in college approach me, like 22-24 year olds. I've only gotten approached by a couple of older guys who were in their late 30s early 40s and I don't even remember the last time a guy who approached me was close to my age.

I've been told I look younger than my age and that's why younger guys approach me. I am not the most mature 28 year old , but I am not THAT immature either. I wouldn't mind dating a guy a little younger than me (maybe 3 years at the most--but they're not approaching me either), but I feel the fact that I already have my degree and career that it may make guys who are still working on theirs lose interest. I also am just not 100% sold on dating someone so much younger than me, I doubt they're ready for a serious relationship.

IA I think it is better to look younger than you are, but I am at this weird transition point where I would be ready to settle down if the opportunity came about, but my clock is not ticking quite yet. So it's either suck it up and have fun with the younger guys, or keep on waiting for guys close to my age who don't even approach me.

Not sure what to do.

 

[cheetarah1980]

I am 28. Guys who are still in college approach me, like 22-24 year olds. I've only gotten approached by a couple of older guys who were in their late 30s early 40s and I don't even remember the last time a guy who approached me was close to my age.

I've been told I look younger than my age and that's why younger guys approach me. I am not the most mature 28 year old , but I am not THAT immature either. I wouldn't mind dating a guy a little younger than me (maybe 3 years at the most--but they're not approaching me either), but I feel the fact that I already have my degree and career that it may make guys who are still working on theirs lose interest. I also am just not 100% sold on dating someone so much younger than me, I doubt they're ready for a serious relationship.

IA I think it is better to look younger than you are, but I am at this weird transition point where I would be ready to settle down if the opportunity came about, but my clock is not ticking quite yet. So it's either suck it up and have fun with the younger guys, or keep on waiting for guys close to my age who don't even approach me.

Not sure what to do.

I am a firm believer that people date who they are around the most. Where do you socialize and who do you hang out with? If you're only getting approached by young guys and older men then change your scenery to be around the age range of men you want to attract. Also, how do you dress?

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Going to a art show tonight. Hoping to meet more folks

 

[cheetarah1980]

I'm going to find a sports bar and watch Thursday Night Football. The Colts are playing the Texans so I'm not sure if too many people will be out watching. I should find a Colts bar in the area just to be sure there is a crowd.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I am still going out but have transitioned from feeling I have to do a certain number of activities or specific activities to just activities that are life-giving to me. I feel so peaceful and calm about everything. It's October and I haven't even had my "the holiday is coming and I'm alone" freakout. LOL.

Belle Du Jour
Good for you! Isn't it a GREAT calm feeling??

I am 28. Guys who are still in college approach me, like 22-24 year olds. I've only gotten approached by a couple of older guys who were in their late 30s early 40s and I don't even remember the last time a guy who approached me was close to my age.

I've been told I look younger than my age and that's why younger guys approach me. I am not the most mature 28 year old , but I am not THAT immature either. I wouldn't mind dating a guy a little younger than me (maybe 3 years at the most--but they're not approaching me either), but I feel the fact that I already have my degree and career that it may make guys who are still working on theirs lose interest. I also am just not 100% sold on dating someone so much younger than me, I doubt they're ready for a serious relationship.

IA I think it is better to look younger than you are, but I am at this weird transition point where I would be ready to settle down if the opportunity came about, but my clock is not ticking quite yet. So it's either suck it up and have fun with the younger guys, or keep on waiting for guys close to my age who don't even approach me.

Not sure what to do.

Nelli04
Hmmm...I agree with Cheeta....Where do you usually hang out?? Do you work in an environment where the people are quite younger or quite older than you?? What about your friends? What is the age bracket of your friends?

I'm going to find a sports bar and watch Thursday Night Football. The Colts are playing the Texans so I'm not sure if too many people will be out watching. I should find a Colts bar in the area just to be sure there is a crowd.

DO it!!!! And report back! I think you'll get a lot of play and attention. Guys LOVE sports bars, and usually ladies don't hang out there lol

Plus, guys LOVE a woman who can appreciate sports.

 

[cheetarah1980]

DO it!!!! And report back! I think you'll get a lot of play and attention. Guys LOVE sports bars, and usually ladies don't hang out there lol

Plus, guys LOVE a woman who can appreciate sports.

Meh, the sports bars were dead tonight. I only stayed through the first quarter. Actually, sports are not the male dominated bastion they once were. Women make up almost 50% of the NFL fan base. Even though sports bars are a great place to meet men, you're not standing out at one simply by being a woman.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Meh, the sports bars were dead tonight. I only stayed through the first quarter. Actually, sports are not the male dominated bastion they once were. Women make up almost 50% of the NFL fan base. Even though sports bars are a great place to meet men, you're not standing out at one simply by being a woman.

Awww...what a bummer... I'm sorry it was dead last night. I had no idea that sports aren't heavily male-dominated anymore.

I guess times have changed erplexed

 

[MzLady78]

Awww...what a bummer... I'm sorry it was dead last night. I had no idea that sports aren't heavily male-dominated anymore.

I guess times have changed erplexed

Yes, they have. You should see my FB feed on game days. It's heavily women that are posting.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Yes, they have. You should see my FB feed on game days. It's heavily women that are posting.

Dang! When did all of this happen??


I mean, I like watching exciting sports games on TV (SOMETIMES), but I'm not Tweeting or FB'ing about it lol. Sheesh....

Well, on to tactic number 2 for cheetarah1980 lol. What's a heavily male-dominated area? What about the IT field maybe? Science/Technology? History? Book stores? (Although many women frequent also)

Hmmmm....now you have me thinking... :scratchch

 

[cheetarah1980]

Dang! When did all of this happen??

I mean, I like watching exciting sports games on TV (SOMETIMES), but I'm not Tweeting or FB'ing about it lol. Sheesh....

Well, on to tactic number 2 for cheetarah1980 lol. What's a heavily male-dominated area? What about the IT field maybe? Science/Technology? History? Book stores? (Although many women frequent also)

Hmmmm....now you have me thinking... :scratchch

Don't misunderstand. Anything related to men's sports is great for meeting guys. I'm simply saying that being a woman in a sports related environment doesn't make you water in the desert. I would still encourage women to go to sports bars, ballgames, golf courses, etc. if they want to be around large numbers of men. Just be aware that there will be a good number of women there too.
I think it would be similar for any "male dominated" environment. Just because it's a good place to meet men doesn't mean you will have them all to yourself.

 

[Nelli04]

I am a firm believer that people date who they are around the most. Where do you socialize and who do you hang out with? If you're only getting approached by young guys and older men then change your scenery to be around the age range of men you want to attract. Also, how do you dress?

I get approached the most at the gym (I go about 5-6x a week), I noticed there is a wide range of ages, but a lot of college guys go in the evening when I go. Other places I get approached the most is the grocery store and the mall. I rarely get approached when I am out with my friends, guys just stare and it is hard to tell how old those guys are.

I typically wear skinny jeans, a basic top, a blazer and flats. That's my go to outfit, unless I plan to go to the gym while I am out. I rarely wear dresses, shorts, skirts, sneakers, or heels. Once I get to my goal size and toned, I plan to improve my wardrobe.

Thanks for the advice, I definitely need the help.

 

[MamitaLolita]

Dang! When did all of this happen?? I mean, I like watching exciting sports games on TV (SOMETIMES), but I'm not Tweeting or FB'ing about it lol. Sheesh.... Well, on to tactic number 2 for cheetarah1980 lol. What's a heavily male-dominated area? What about the IT field maybe? Science/Technology? History? Book stores? (Although many women frequent also) Hmmmm....now you have me thinking...


:scratchch

I work in IT. Male dominant yes. Attractive males no. But when I did IT work for the law investigation agency half the men looked like Calvin Klein models. they wouldn't go for someone my age though.

 

[CaraWalker]

I get approached the most at the gym (I go about 5-6x a week), I noticed there is a wide range of ages, but a lot of college guys go in the evening when I go. Other places I get approached the most is the grocery store and the mall. I rarely get approached when I am out with my friends, guys just stare and it is hard to tell how old those guys are.

I typically wear skinny jeans, a basic top, a blazer and flats. That's my go to outfit, unless I plan to go to the gym while I am out. I rarely wear dresses, shorts, skirts, sneakers, or heels. Once I get to my goal size and toned, I plan to improve my wardrobe.

Thanks for the advice, I definitely need the help.

interesting! i like to wear dresses when i go out just because im not here for tight jeans restricting my movement and cutting into my waist and whatnot im lazy but i dont think it matters what youre wearing as long as youre cute in it.

 

[cheetarah1980]

interesting! i like to wear dresses when i go out just because im not here for tight jeans restricting my movement and cutting into my waist and whatnot im lazy but i dont think it matters what youre wearing as long as youre cute in it.

I agree with this. However, clothes can be an indication of age so although she's attracting men she's attracting young ones. Guys her age may view her as either too young or immature. Wearing more sophisticated clothes (and looking good in them) could stop sending that message and help her attract age appropriate men. It also helps to hang out around age appropriate men.

Nellie, try going to the gym in the early morning if you can. A lot of working professionals workout before heading to their jobs. Do you go to happy hours, ballgames, charity events, etc?

 

[Nelli04]

interesting! i like to wear dresses when i go out just because im not here for tight jeans restricting my movement and cutting into my waist and whatnot im lazy but i dont think it matters what youre wearing as long as youre cute in it.

I bought a bunch of dresses earlier this year and have yet to wear them, it just feels so foreign to me.

What kind of dresses do you wear, if you don't mind me asking?