Why do you REALLY think your still SINGLE?

[Glib Gurl]

Almost all the single guys I meet mention physical when it comes to women (esp. Black women). They will say that they want someone who is fit, who is not overweight, etc. They focus on the physical especially if they work out on a regular.

This is what I blame my singleness on . . . but moreso than that I think I self-sabotage and make myself emotionally unavailable because I don't want to be rejected or get hurt.

 

[tyrablu]

1)How long have u been single? 7 months
2)How did ur last relationship end? He broke it off
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? Being too picky,
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? I guess I can be too picky, can be a real ***** when I want too, and control issues.
5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? Cause I'm not looking right now. I believe I need to recover for at least a year before I can entertain the idea of going back into another relationship and or dating.

 

[lovely008]

1)How long have u been single? 4 months
2)How did ur last relationship end? i guess loss of interest
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? i get hot n heavy very quickly (physically and emotionally), don't really know what i want in a man, not good at flirting, talking to guys...
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? i'm very insecure to the point of having anxiety, VERY shy, i can be cold and standoffish, i get physical too quickly, indecisive about what i want
5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? i problems with anxiety used to drive men away but not so much anymore. Now I realize I do NOT want to be in a relationship, have to work on myself first. Gonna be interesting.

 

[nappysunflowers]

Long time lurker, first time respondent. This thread just kind of hit me, so I decided to write on study break.
1)How long have u been single? 2 years
2)How did your last relationship end? Things just fell apart.
3)Do you have a bad dating habits you think you need to break? I am not sure what I really want in a guy, I can be kind of judgmental , and I am horrible at returning phone calls.
4) Do you have actions/traits about your persona that you think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? I have social anxiety. Whenever I would go out with friends, etc; I had no clue any guy was paying attention to me. Gaydar is in 100% operative mode. SingleGuyAlert System has been shut down to maintenance issues. I tried online dating (IT WENT REALLY REALLY (LIKE THERAPY) BAD off Match.com; (Eharmony.com- I GOT REEEJECTED!).
5) FINALLY....Why do you really think you're still single? It may not be my time yet. I can't say it doesn't bother me when I hear about wedding announcements->baby announcements; having friends who didn't care if they stayed single now with a SO, and here I am.
I admit I have my flaws: I am overweight but I'm doing something about it. I am painfully shy-> I get in a social situation and I freeze up. A group less than 5, I am fine. In a club, forget it. It gets ugly.

Honestly, I need to do more of this to myself: .
I went through some trauma as a kid, and more in college. When you get violated, it just screws you up. You trust few, and especially NOT men. Healing took so long and I just scared as hell to be hurt. I can see why I am single. When the Divine thinks I am ready, some one will come along.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

1)How long have u been single? Too long.
2)How did ur last relationship end? He did something I didn't like (didn't call me for 2 weeks) and I expressed this to him via in person. Never picked up the phone since. Deleted number out of cell, etc. Haven't looked back, nor do intend to.

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? No. The only habit I'm guilty of having is living in the gym 5-6 days a week for 2-3 hours at a time. Will I change that? No. I've learned not to compromise myself for these men, because they won't compromise for you. That's just how it is now...

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? Haven't figured that one out yet. I think it's because I have that I don't care if you drop dead attitude.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? See 3 & 4.

 

[Syrah]

Great thread!

You said be honest, so here 'goes.

1)How long have u been single? Unofficially, in my head. About a year. As far as he knows - I'm not quite single, still. erplexed

2)How did ur last relationship end? Complete loss of interest. To the point where he became more of an "activity" partner (sex and non-sexual) than anything. I'm of the belief that when a dude meets a girl he really likes he'll do whatever he feels is necessary to keep her. When my dude stopped doing, so did I. And that's when I checked out, emotionally. But like another chica said, I like sex but I'm not a big fan of casual sex....so yea...

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? I'm afraid to put expectations out there, because I don't want to ever come off as that "get over chick" but instead I err on the side of having NO expectations. And what I've realized - when you have none, you're bound to be disappointed. I'm judgmental in a funny way. I make my mind up about people pretty quickly and it takes a while for me to change my mind. I'm that girl who will sit and talk to a guy at the bar for an hour if the conversation is interesting, but then will say "no thanks" (not in those exact words) when he asks for my number.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general?
- My job: I travel weekly for work and have been for about 3 years now. Dudes can't handle me being gone - they wonder what I"m doing, I wonder what they're doing. And I work with a lot of men. Usually a 8:1 ratio.
- I know what I want and I have a hard time letting go and letting other people "provide". It's kind of like a thread on started on the OT board - I need learn how to let go and let other people contribute. I don't know if I'd call it controlling, I'm just am too much of a "do it myself" chick. But I'm working on it... or trying to at least.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single?
- Because the lack of forward motion in my current relationship has me doubting whether or not I'll meet what I'm truly looking for.
- Because I've been with the same guy for so long that I'm afraid of "sex" with the new guy (not afraid of the act but all the stuff that leads up to that first opportunity).
- Because I think I need to take some time and actually be single. Figure MsNadi out before I start trying to go and make a relationship work.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Couldn't elaborate like I wanted to because I was at work and people kept asking me to do stuff!

But, for me, living in the DC Metro area is rather hard for dating. Also, I have to be extremely careful because of the DL men, etc. I just choose to sit back, chill out and obtain the goals that I am trying to achieve (buying home, etc). That is important right now. I got tired of men not knowing what they wanted. It seems to me that men want you to sweat them...call them all the time. I am SO not the one to be blowin up someone's cell phone, asking dumb questions like "when we goin out"...shyt like that. It gets tired and old. Also, the slightest thing ticks me off. If I detect even the most minor of things during a convo, or whatever, then I disconnect all communications without a dayum in the world. I know it's crazy, but that is how I roll....could care less about them. Now, I think I've developed their mentality...I just phuck'em n feed'em beans. Funny, because now, they try to figure me out. I don't give out too much info, etc. And on occasion, when I get horny, I have one that I do call..he knows wassup and it works for me for now.

When a guy shows enough interest, such as wanting to take me out, spend time with ME, then, and MAYBE then, I'll let the Berlin Wall down...just a little. Until then, I will always be ThatJerseyGirl....

 

[shorthairdiva09]

1)How long have u been single? 4 months
2)How did ur last relationship end? (cheating, mutual, lost of interest,....) He cheated with a 16 year old.
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? (only dating jerks, men who just got out of a relationship, trying to get a bf out of a bootycall, already involved men, players,....etc) Players, dating outside of my maturity level, being bought or buying men to keep them here
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? (too naggy, picky, insecure, too much attitude, sleeping with them too soon, being too nice that they walk over u, etc....) Maybe sleeping with them too soon and being to nice they walk over me.
5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? because i am scared to be hurt again, this was my first relationship and hey when something bad happens you begin to look the other way for happiness to avoid the decision at all cost

 

[BillsBackerz67]

long story short I am a commitmentphobe and afriad of being "permanent"erplexed

 

[bimbabe]

Bump Bump Bump

 

[MJ]

I prefer being single.

I have my own issues, like 99% of the population, and sometimes I like to use them as excuses as to why I've remained single. But at the heart of the matter is the truth that I really enjoy being a bachelorette.

 

[Son26]

Too introverted/shy. For some odd reason I can't open my mouth when I'm around a guy I REALLY like. Whatever.

 

[cheetarah1980]

1)How long have u been single? I've been single for 11 years. The last and only official relationship I had was right after my freshman year of college. I've dated plenty since then and have since become the Queen of Unofficial Relationships.

2)How did ur last relationship end? (cheating, mutual, lost of interest,....) I lost interest in him. He was a really sweet guy who loved me to pieces but I was more interested in someone else (who just so happened to have NO interest in me).

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? (only dating jerks, men who just got out of a relationship, trying to get a bf out of a bootycall, already involved men, players,....etc) I've had horrible dating habits. I did it all. I dated jerks, accepted whatever I could get, tried to play it cool and never insisted on a relationship, chased men, got too attached too quickly, got physical too quickly. My dating life in my 20s could easily be turned into a What Not To Do manual.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? (too naggy, picky, insecure, too much attitude, sleeping with them too soon, being too nice that they walk over u, etc....). The biggest impediment that interfered with guys wanting a relationship is that I made it too easy for them. I would be available whenever and wherever. I would go out of my way for them. And I wouldn't make them put forth much effort besides expressing an interest. I've since learned from these mistakes. My new issue is meeting men who want to ask me out. I find guys who want to talk and are attracted to me, but not men who want to take that step to ask me on a date.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? I honestly don't know for sure why I'm still single. It's difficult for me to find men that interest me. I'm committed to putting myself out there in the best light possible, expanding my social circles, and meeting quality men for dating and a relationship.

 

[Avaya]

1)How long have u been single? Nine Years .

2)How did ur last relationship end? He didn't really like me; he was just attracted to me. We were too different.

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? Too reserved/introverted. Too independent. Too hard to get to know.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? Too aloof/give the accurate perception that I don't want to be bothered. Too socially retarded.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? Content with being single. Haven't met anyone that appeals to me. Haven't met a man that can out man me . I haven't been interested in anyone since the ex actually. The people that I have been surrounded by for the last decade leave much to be desired. I'll be moving to another state within the next 5-years. Don't know how much this will change things but at the momment, I'm cool. A man would really get in my way at this point and derail me from my personal goals. If I liked someone it would be a whole different ball game.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

hmmmm... This is a really good topic, even though it's pretty old. lol. My bff asked me this question, and at the time, I really had no idea. But, lately, I've had time to really introspect, and look at the root of the problem.

1)How long have u been single? well, my last official relationship ended 3 years ago (even though we were both done emotionally 4 years ago) my last "unoffical" relationship ended 2 years ago.

2)How did ur last relationship end? he cheated and was a pathological liar

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? i seem to always attract the same types. either liars and cheaters or "good guys" who don't want a relationship and are emotionally unavailable. b/c i'm soo shy, it sometimes comes across as standoffish or mean. like another poster said, i put all my eggs in 1 basket. i don't keep my options open. i also have sex early on, which leads to fb, but nothing serious. it usually takes me a while to realize that the fb will never be my bf.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? when i really like a guy, i get clingy, overly emotional, tooo available, and have sex too quick. i want a relationship too quickly also. i don't leave anything to "mystery". i always answer calls whenever, and am always available to meet up. i go above and beyond, and expect the same. and when i don't, i'm verrryyy disappointed.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? well, besides all of the above lolol. i usually become that girl thats fun to be around and talk to, but not the girlfriend. i've only officially had 1 real relationship in my life. through my own introspection as well as advice from friends, i'm just too nice. i make everything easy, and give too much of myself too early. i'm also very introverted, a homebody, and very shy. lolol. i usually go through spurts of meeting guys. i'll go through a dry spell for a few months, then i'll meet a whole bunch of different guys, then a dry spell again. i'm working on being less available, and maintaining my independence. i fear that i won't meet anybody, and will be alone and single for a long time. there is nothing wrong with being single, and sometimes i love it, but right now, i would like a so. i eventually want to get married, and have a family. i can sometimes be insecure about my looks, b/c i'm petite and look very young.

 

[Dposh167]

1)How long have u been single? 3 years

2)How did ur last relationship end? (cheating, mutual, lost of interest,....)
He started growing very distant towards me (no pun intented..even tho it was a long distance relationship anyway lol). I called him out on it and he got annoyed to the point where we couldn't stand each other.

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? (only dating jerks, men who just got out of a relationship, trying to get a bf out of a bootycall, already involved men, players,....etc)
honestly, I go crazy for pretty boys & athletes. the guys that walk in the room and all girls want. yea i'm that girl... Its so bad that anyone average just isn't good enuff for me. I'm really trying to get outta that cuz it really has brought me nuthing but bad luck. Not that all guys like that are bad b-friends, but when ur talking about young, good looking athletes who can get any girl they want...they will...even if ur their girl.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? (too naggy, picky, insecure, too much attitude, sleeping with them too soon, being too nice that they walk over u, etc....)
Im a complainer, a nagger, and I have such an independent trait to me that i think it turns guys away. I have that same pride that u have (loca)...when i'm interested I don't show it too much. And when i finally feel comfortable enuff TO SHOW it, they're gone. they got tired of waiting lol

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single?
After all of my analyzing, I think it has more to do with me and less to do with who I attract. I've met a lot of great guys who have messed it up for themselves. But for the ones who had very little faults of their own, I think i messed it up for myself. I always tried to find something that I wasn't content about, instead of appreciating what i had

thanks for bumping this old thread.....Wooooow,, I wrote ^^^ about 1 1/2 yrs ago. What a difference my mentality is now.

I'm no longer as picky as I was. I try to find good in most guys i date...and use the trusty old 80/20 rule. I don't nag, or complain. (& if i start..i catch myself. and try to find another way to solve the prob). As a result of all these changes...I've actually had the chance to meet 2 guys since then...who wanted to be in a relationship with me. (not at the same time lol). Which is more than what i was getting before. I've even had an ex, who used to complain about my nagging....say that i've changed. And he actually likes being around me now and are trying to reconcile.

...so i'm pretty darn happy with myself & my progression

 

[Maracujá]

bump bump bump

 

[kaynewme]

1)How long have u been single? for about four years...had guys in my life but no claim to them
2)How did ur last relationship end? cheating
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? pretty boys
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? I'm bossy, stubborn, independent and prolly a little *****y/moody.
(5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? I dont put myself out there to meet anyone. I am also very picky. I want a man that turns me on when I look at him and turns me on some more when he speaks (intelligence). I will probably continue to be picky in 2010.

 

[Renewed1]

I want a man that turns me on when I look at him and turns me on some more when he speaks (intelligence).

This is SO ME!! ATTRACTION is very important to me. I never had a bf that turned me on by just looking at him. One of my guy friends does the above for me ; but unfortunately he's just a friend.........for now.

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I am glad I came across this thread. I am not single, but I had to do some introspection in this current relationship to "get down the ailse". I think this is a very usuful/great tool to learn about yourself and what you need/want. I see a lot of women want "pretty boys/men" and also call that the problem. I diasgree. "Pretty men/boys" fall in love too, so I wouldn't discount that trait. You absolutely must be attracted to your mate. I will not work anyother way. (now the debate may be over whether it can/should/must be a physical attraction versus a spirtual/emotional attraction, but either way you are entitled to get your heart's desire in your mate.) Now my mate may not be "all that" to others, but when I look into his eyes, I fall in love all over again (nearly 9 years later). I also love his bod (but don't let him know it, he already thinks he's hot potatoes there anyway)

 

[EccentricRed]

1)How long have u been single? I've dated on and off for years, but I haven't had a boyfriend since 2004.

2)How did ur last relationship end? He was cheating on me with two other women.

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? Men see me as a homegirl, or "one of the guys." It's hard to break a habit when I feel like I'm just being myself. I'm very cynical and cautious about men. I expect them to fail because all of the ones in my past have failed. I'm very private with my emotions, and I tend to act like everything is okay when it's not. I don't like people to see me in a vulnerable state. I don't like to question furthering these "dating" relationships, because I just don't want to step on anyones toes.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? Like I said, I'm very cynical. I hang out with men on a regular basis, and I love men! However, I think that many men "good" and "bad tend to kick it and do what they want while they are younger, and they focus more on the "busy" women. The good women get respect, but they also have to accept being put on a shelf until the men determine that they want to be in a relationship. I tend to be put on that shelf.

Most guys I date end up being at least cordial with me. I have asked them what it is about me that causes me to be single, and weirdly enough, NO ONE has anything bad to say. It's always "your cute, your smart, your funny, you love sports, blah blah blah...and I'm sure some dude out there is looking at you." Meanwhile, most of them have dated some other girl right after me, and I think if I'm so great, then why is it that you got rid of me in the first place? And if I'm so great, why am I alone, why some other girl isn't? It really tugs at my self-esteem. I always feel like there is something wrong with me. It's just got to be me.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? I really don't know! I've actually done the research, and I still have no answers. Honestly, It's really making me get down on myself the longer this goes on...

 

[varaneka]

1)How long have u been single? 2 years

2)How did ur last relationship end? I just broke up with the guy because he didn't work.

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? I used to end up using guys as rebounds when another relationship didn't work out, and I think that affected my karma for the time being. I learned my lesson on that one. I also used to date the bad guy type. Right now I can't think of any habits that need breaking.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? I feel insecure but I pray on it and force myself to date anyway.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? Well this time it's because I've decided to take things slow with the person I'm seeing. He wants to be in an exclusive relationship, but I'm scared.

 

[makeupgirl]

i'm asking for you to be really, truly honest on these questions

1)How long have u been single?
honestly going on 10 years now, I've dated with no serious relationships
2)How did ur last relationship end? (mutual, lost of interest)
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? (Over the years I was still a kid to be honest, just focusing on school, but also I had to stop following the leader with what everyone else was doing in terms of being married and having kids all of all sudden and just do me, also I had this habit of getting back together with my ex and that was a bootycall)
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? (I slept with a guy too fast in the very beginning, also I didn't follow God's lead but I didn't know that at the time)
5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single?
i Think I'm still single as of this moment because it's not my season and it's not God's timing. I know that one day I will meet the man that God wants be to be with as my ordained husband but it's in God's time and I had to give up some vices and die to self to do that. I believe in my heart that the time is almost come to meet him and I pray for my husband constantly and I love him already. I also believe that I've been single for so long to protect me from making more stupid choices as a human. lol. God knows us better than we know ourselves so I'm glad that he's able to see what we can't see especially in relationships with other people.

 

[Liberianmami26]

1) How long have u been single?
I’ve been single for 1 year and 8 months but I did go back to fooling around with that same ex this summer but now we are completely done like he doesn’t talk to me so wateva.
2) How did ur last relationship end?
We ended our relationship initially (1yr8mos ago) because he was going through some personal issues and decided to exclude me out of his life and he suggested we take a break I decided why not I have exams and needed to focus when I came home from college he basically would like text me and tell me oh I just went by your house Im so bored etc. meanwhile this negro hadnt talked to me since he texted me we needed to take a break I got fed up and told him to go fkcu himself and I was done. During the year and 8 month he called and apologize I wasn’t into him but we were cool then something happened this summer we became sex buddies the last thing I wanted, I was dealing with some family issues and he was a good shoulder to lean on and supportive and I got attached and for the first time fell in love with him and told him I think this freaked him out and yes his own best friend later told me when we got him drunk lol. Long story short he started lying bout some stuff and blaming me for his problems so now im completely done with him cuz I cant stand liars and the reason I was close to him is was cuz I could trust him and he was brutally honest and that’s not there anymore so our relationship is pretty much destroyed. And plus I saw him this weekend nd was sitting less than 12 inches apart and he was trying to pretend I wasn’t there eventhough I was the bigger person and acknowledged his presence he pretended I wasn’t there how childish so we were both talking to his best friend just not at the same time very awkward im so done with him for real and am moving on and plus I’ve finally gotten enough courage and self esteem to become celibate so he can kick rocks.
Oh he was my first and only and my first everything also. Im 21.

3) Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break?
Way too damn independent, like I thrive off being able to tell a person I don’t need u for a d**n thing anytime I want eventhough I don’t, I have bad body issues im really overweight and it affects my self esteem, I overanalyze everything I do and it effects my work, school and relationships cuz I don’t get things done till the last minute cuz a part of me craves that chaos/adrenaline cuz I can just do instead of thinking. I have no problem with exercising for Pete’s sake I teach a dance class I just overthink every lil detail too much that I end up not even getting up to go workout finish an assignment etc., im really working on clearing my head of clutter this 2010.
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general?
yeah I put up a wall so I don’t get hurt, i think they are checking out the skinnier girls and are prolly disgusted by lookin at me or im getting in their way, I can dismiss men really fast, the guys im attracted to I shy away from them thinking they don’t like me cuz im too fat, dark, too tall 5’5, not tall enough etc., if a guy just does something nice for me im already planning our wedding in my head lol did I mention in number 3 im working on overanalyzing, I think I have too much testorone at times like I wanna be better than the guys lol yea imma a mess I kno but u would never guess if u met me im also good at hiding my emotions pretty well u can call me an ice princess lol.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? Im insecure beneath the surface like people think im just happy and for the most part I am these days so I can see why cuz I was really depressed before in high school then I renew my faith and it has help me get to that 50% part of loving myself cuz I use to honestly hate myself so me now is way more improved then me back then. But I really do think Im single because I’m afraid I may get rejected cuz of my weight that’s wat it boils down to I don’t want to even embarrass a guy by them being with me sad but im a work in progress both physically and mentally.
Ps. Im so happy I ran across this thread its help me adress a lot of stuff thanx OP. Now yall know all my bizness lmao

 

[movado32k1]

1)How long have u been single? Since July 28, 2009
2)How did ur last relationship end? He said "the distance is too much" (really he started partaking of the women who wanted him because he is an MD) He is now calling me and begging to come back, talking about the Cleveland women aren't about anything.
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? I like pretty boys and so do the rest of the women.
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general?I am too forthcoming. I let men know that I am interested and really into them if i am and I guess they don't like that and get bored and move on to the Bi*** who treats them like crap. I make myself too available, I guess. I am giving and I do things like cook for them and stuff like that (Didn't know that was a bad thing till recently)
5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? What I stated in Number 4 and because I have not met the man from whose rib I was created

 

[westNDNbeauty]

1)How long have u been single? 25 Years. (yes, its a lifetime)
2)How did ur last relationship end? n/a. never had a bf
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? i pretty much always go for the men that all women want...the athletes. i also pretty much don't follow any dating rules. i've actually just became truly aware of them in the last 2 weeks. sad. i know.
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? my friends always say i have a "default face" which is an emotionless face that is pretty univiting and was even scary to a few of them when they first met me. i'm working on that.
5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single?
friends also say i'm too picky. they might be right. i pick and pick until i pick s*&! that too is work in progress. learning to give that guy who would normally not be in my radar a chance.

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

1)How long have u been single? Since Between Birth and inception
2)How did ur last relationship end? (cheating, mutual, lost of interest,....) He went back to his ex. I honestly feel, since I've been reading these boards, that I was just a fill in for him while he and his current grilfriend worked out whatever they needed to work out. He was pretty much using me to show her "look what (not who) I am with"
3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? (only dating jerks, men who just got out of a relationship, trying to get a bf out of a bootycall, already involved men, players,....etc) I just gave up.
4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? (too naggy, picky, insecure, too much attitude, sleeping with them too soon, being too nice that they walk over u, etc....) Men that I've dated find me remarkably easy to talk to, surprisingly. Its my weight that they arent attracted to. I am not going to be losing weight any time soon. I'd just gain it all back, because I am not doing it for myself/the right reasons. Because my health is perfect aside from my weight, I really have no motivation to do....anything.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? See above. Women my size are just not attractive to men here. Especially black men. I go to the gym about four times a week. You'd think I was invisible. So, I have decided to make myself that way, lol. When ever I am there I take a towel and put it over my head and just focus on the TV and zone out from what is going on around me.

 

[Sunshine77]

1)How long have u been single? Occasional date here or there no real relationship since 2004

2)How did ur last relationship end? He started dating his best friends teen daughter.

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? It varied from relationship to relationship. Sometimes Im too independent. Picking bad boys. Sometimes I'm the doormat too nice. Have jumped into sex too soon. Felt he was too nice and ran.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? No, I've been on a cycle of kids, work, school, kids, work, school. I never make time for myself.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? Honestly, I was scared of being hurt

 

[panama_princess6]

i'm asking for you to be really, truly honest on these questions

1)How long have u been single? 4 Jan 2010

2)How did ur last relationship end? (cheating, mutual, lost of interest,....) He continously lied and cheated. I was hurt so deeply this past time. I wanted my ex to be my everything but I was only temporary to him. He emotionally abused me and made me feel bad about myself. I will never allow anyone to make me feel less than how I should feel.

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? (only dating jerks, men who just got out of a relationship, trying to get a bf out of a bootycall, already involved men, players,....etc) I hate to admit it but I loooove a challange. I don't like a guy that makes it too easy. I don't like pushovers and I have tried to make a booty call into a BF, what was so crazy is that I made him the booty call and then I caught feelings but at that point he was just happy with what we had.

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? (too naggy, picky, insecure, too much attitude, sleeping with them too soon, being too nice that they walk over u, etc....) After this relationship I can honestly say I'm VERY insecure, and I'm very nice and giving. I would give the shirt off my back to help someone else.

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single? Right now by choice and I'm afraid of getting hurt... I was hurt so bad and I would never want to feel pain like that again... I'm going to get back into dating and having fun... No relations allowed!!

 

[Lilac87]

1)How long have u been single?
About 4 years

2)How did ur last relationship end? (mutual, lost of interest)
He wasn't ready to be in a more serious relationship/ I was too mature for him

3)Do u have a bad dating habits u think u need to break? I fall too quickly for a guy and don't give myself enough time to really evaluate whether we could actually work out as a couple or even if he is good for me. I'm always thinking about marriage and I tend to view my relationship with a guy through rose colored glasses (this also leads to me staying with someone who is no good for me )

4) Do u have actions/traits about ur persona that u think interferes with a guy wanting a relationship or just meeting men in general? I have slept with guys too quickly or without us being 'official'

5) FINALLY....Why do u really think ur still single?
I think I'm single because it's my time to figure out who I am. I don't know what I want out of life in terms of a job/career, friends, where I would like to live, and I am def. not sure exactly what I want (or better yet, NEED) in a man. Also, I'm still learning things like what makes me tick, what makes me happy, what I am passionate about, etc, etc, etc! I think God is giving me this time to figure out myself so that when He brings me someone, I will know for sure that this is someone that I want(need) and appreciate him even more. Right now, having a man in my life would just add more confusion.