She Slid Into The D Ms. Less Than A Year Later, They Married.

Okay.

tenor.gif
 
He doesn’t have an accent, so that’s a good thing. She is very spontaneous with her hair. She does what feels right for her at the moment. That can be a good, or bad thing. I hope this is a good guy. I know that’s just not the way to operate in life anymore. There are some things you have to give a considerable amount of time and thought to, and processes that need to be completed first. All of this “Right Now” fairytale stuff has got to go.
 
I mean as skeptical as I usually am, I'm willing to be optimistic on this one. Maybe she put her feelers out and he pursued her from then on. Granted...I wouldn't announced how "thirsty" I was on Twitter, but they seem genuinely happy. I'm just hoping this doesn't turn into an ID channel show. Keeping them in the prayer circle!

Belle Du Jour said:
I was surprised she wasn't the one on bended knee. . .her post sounds very thirsty.
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((shrug)) Her initiating doesn't bother me. The timeline of the marriage doesn't either. It is possible(although rare)to know the person that you are compatible with better in a year (or less)of concentrated quality time than you know some people who you have known for decades with no genuine connection to. Think of that coworker or relative or church member who you have known for ever but just don't gel with. Think of that couple who has been married for decades with no passion. When I think of my own husband and my best friend the initial connection I had is what grew. That conversion where we first identified what we had in common and clicked was a catalyst. The time that has passed has only served to validate and strengthen what seemed to be an instant connection in the beginning. It really just depends on the relationship. I have known people for years who I liked but was hesitant about trusting them fully then times goes by and I realize what inside me kept me on guard. There are relationships that are convenient but give no inclination other than convenience for more to actually develop. Sometimes you can know someone for a short period of time and have a natural, easy and magnetic connection based on being alike and compatible. Moving fast in a long distance relationship can conceal a lot of things you need to notice but keeping someone around with no chemistry or genuine connection can cause you to overlook/diminish important things and settle just because you are comfortable around them. Interesting story. I have no idea how it will develop or end... Whatever the case, she is married now so time is going to tell it one way or another.
 
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Lylddlebit said:
((shrug)) Her initiating doesn't bother me. The timeline of the marriage doesn't either. It is possible(although rare)to know the person that you are compatible with better in a year (or less)of concentrated quality time than you know some people who you have known for decades with no genuine connection to. Think of that coworker or relative or church member who you have known for ever but just don't gel with. Think of that couple who has been married for decades with no passion. When I think of my own husband and my best friend the initial connection I had is what grew. That conversion where we first identified what we had in common and clicked was a catalyst. The time that has passed has only served to validate and strengthen what seemed to be an instant connection in the beginning. It really just depends on the relationship. I have known people for years who I liked but was hesitant about trusting them fully then times goes by and I realize what inside me kept me on guard. There are relationships that are convenient but give no inclination other than convenience for more to actually develop. Sometimes you can know someone for a short period of time and have a natural, easy and magnetic connection based on being alike and compatible. Moving fast in a long distance relationship can conceal a lot of things you need to notice but keeping someone around with no chemistry or genuine connection can cause you to overlook/diminish important things and settle just because you are comfortable around them. Interesting story. I have no idea how it will develop or end... Whatever the case, she is married now so time is going to tell it one way or another.
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I was thinking this. I also think that some people are excellent judges of character (maybe it's instinctive, learned over time from observation and good judgement, or even intuitive) right away whereas others need much more time (in reference to how long it takes to know someone). I would not fault someone who is spot on with people for knowing someone is right for them, and marrying quickly. I have no problems with quick marriages because there are people you know for years who will make your head spin with surprise when they up and do xyz. You can't account for everything. However, I will emphasize that is only with someone who has a keen insight and good ability to assess people, and has proven it time and again. That's something that only someone can know if they're being truly honest with themselves. So I can't fault her for that because I don't know if this is the case or it's just lust (or whatever).

I also can't fault her for initiating as well because women have done that since the dawn of time. Except it's all in the subtlety: smile, dropping a handkerchief, or whatever depending on the time period. Getting a guy's attention is one thing however thirsty pursuit , though, is the only thing I do not advise. I think it sets you up for an "I'm not worthy" type position in the relationship which can erode things over time. Case in point one of my mom's friends who bent over backwards for this guy and talked about how handsome he was and how lucky she was, compared to how she looked, and so on got the horrible short stick with that man. And they stayed married almost twenty years with him DJing occasionally with nary a real job in sight, and her working over time to pay for his $100 dollar socks (and this was in the 90's but I remember her crying to my momma back then), and going to pick up checks that he wrote all over town because he never accounted for money. And this lady made well into 6 figures in a small town (they eventually settled into a small town) but with a guy like that, she was always scraping to get by. Fast forward to years later when he left her up and cold after making love to her that morning with a note that said, "I can't do this anymore". She came to find out that he left her for his highschool sweetheart. After their divorce, he married her, promptly went back to school and went on to support that woman (until her death, that's another story. And now he's floundering and begging my mom's friend back, but one story a day lol). So anyways, this whole idea of kissing the butt of some dude and making him a prize sets him up to sometimes think,"You know what? You're right. I am better than you. You don't deserve me." So I wouldn't advise that.

But everything else you said, I agree with completely.
 
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WhoIAm said:
Scrolling through, they are saved and sanctified so they've probably never bumped uglies yet. Hence the rush.

Random she has/had lupus.
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I don't think it's random at all. Being diagnosed with a chronic illness, having emergency surgery and almost dying has helped me to reassess life. Not only do I realize that planning is for the birds (not that it isn't important but just that it is not going to always go the way you intend), but that a lot of my waiting forever and delaying gratification was also for the birds. Again, I think for important things like education, there's a a difference and I think those things are a must (delaying gratification), but for other things in life...I mean come on, some chances are once in a life time and you have to take them (job opportunities, people, etc). But you have to have the wisdom to know when this is true and when it is not. And some connections and people are also aligned in a way that you take the leap when it is time because you are not promised tomorrow. I don't want to hear 23 year olds getting married with this concept in mind :lol:, but someone more seasoned who knows a good thing when they see it, I see nothing wrong with that. This again doesn't mean throwing away all delay tactics or beliefs (heck I'm still celibate till marriage because I want to be), but you can assess and decide when to throw away that plan guide, and when to stay on track.


With that said, it doesn't mean throwing your life away on someone crazy, but all this waiting for X amount of years, and stalking someone's facebook, plus doing back ground checks will not protect you from everything. Again that doesn't mean to be careless (please protect yourself and do research but know that it isn't everything and that our gut instinct is our #1 tool once developed) but this smug idea that you can research away, and time away everything is a joke because life will slap you in the face hard. :lol:

So this may have led her to take chances she would not take otherwise knowing how precious life is, and when you feel something special and know that (instinctively) it is meant to be, you leap. That is, again, if she has good assessing skills. For all I know this woman makes ridiculous assessments of people and situations constantly and then everything I said is for naught because she would just be a hot mess then. But I am going to allow for the other possibility.
 
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luckiestdestiny said:
I was thinking this. I also think that some people are excellent judges of character (maybe it's instinctive, learned over time from observation and good judgement, or even intuitive) right away whereas others need much more time (in reference to how long it takes to know someone). I would not fault someone who is spot on with people for knowing someone is right for them, and marrying quickly. I have no problems with quick marriages because there are people you know for years who will make your head spin with surprise when they up and do xyz. You can't account for everything. However, I will emphasize that is only with someone who has a keen insight and good ability to assess people, and has proven it time and again. That's something that only someone can know if they're being truly honest with themselves. So I can't fault her for that because I don't know if this is the case or it's just lust (or whatever).

I also can't fault her for initiating as well because women have done that since the dawn of time. Except it's all in the subtlety: smile, dropping a handkerchief, or whatever depending on the time period. Getting a guy's attention is one thing however thirsty pursuit , though, is the only thing I do not advise. I think it sets you up for an "I'm not worthy" type position in the relationship which can erode things over time. Case in point one of my mom's friends who bent over backwards for this guy and talked about how handsome he was and how lucky she was, compared to how she looked, and so on got the horrible short stick with that man. And they stayed married almost twenty years with him DJing occasionally with nary a real job in site, and her working over time to pay for his $100 dollar socks (and this was in the 90's but I remember her crying to my momma back then), and going to pick up checks that he wrote all over town because he never accounted for money. And this lady made well into 6 figures in a small town (they eventually settled into a small town) but with a guy like that, she was always scraping to get by. Fast forward to years later when he left her up and cold after making love to her that morning with a note that said, "I can't do this anymore". She came to find out that he left her for his highschool sweetheart. After their divorce, he married her, promptly went back to school and went on to support that woman (until her death, that's another story. And now he's floundering and begging my mom's friend back, but one story a day lol). So anyways, this whole idea of kissing the butt of some dude and making him a prize sets him up to sometimes think,"You know what? You're right. I am better than you. You don't deserve me." So I wouldn't advise that.

But everything else you said, I agree with completely.
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Thanks for this I agree with everything you said. I like the way you elaborated on good judgement. I think that good judgment along with a good sense of self awareness can really help a person to make important decisions with confidence even when those are decisions that are made quickly. I do not know this lady or full context of her love story. I just expect a newly married woman to be excited about her man and her marriage. I expect her to have her moment to talk it up and bask in it. I expect her to believe her man is the best thing since drinking water, after all he would need to amazing to be worthy of her decision to bind herself to him. So when I see a woman excited about her man, marriage and displaying happiness I see enough self worth to go around. She can simultaneously love her husband, know he is the bomb and she is the bomb simultaneously. That can be why she said "I do" and sees this milestone as victorious. She's excited. That said I don't know the full context of her relationship I can't predict her future one way or another but I just see excitement. The excitement that comes when you are on the cusp of something new that you believe in.
 
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SweetNic_JA said:
*SMH* acting like she won a grand prize. I'm glad she didn't propose too.
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Gurl my eye went to him down on the knee Immediately. I was like this woman
bet not have begged and proposed to him on the knee. I mean if that's what she
thought it took. Hopefully he is faithful, kind and protects his delicate flower.


she went for what she wanted curved a NFL player for him got a nice ring
and the engagement was short. The Lord played a major role in their relationship
that's the cliff notes from the video.
 
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