I'll share my story:
I dated the same guy from my freshman year in high school to my senior year in college. And aside from us breaking up a few times, and me going out for a night or two with other guys, he was the only boyfriend I ever had. I thought he was the one and once we graduated college he'd marry me and we'd live happily ever after. Well it never happened. I kept hoping and thinking he just needed more time but long story short it took me years to realize he just wasn't the one.
I went into a serious depression having "wasted" 8 years of my life waiting on him. I just wish I would have opened my eyes sooner to the facts that were there all along.
My depression wasn't just because of mourning the loss of that relationship but with what was going on with life in general.
It took me about a year and half before I even opened my heart to trying to date again. I did the match.com and eharmony thing but in alot of ways those sites just made it worse. I'm a nurse, so in a female dominated field, plus I work with babies, and most doctors just don't date nurses so no prospects there. I felt hopeless and just closed my heart to finding someone {else}.
I didn't feel like I had an identity without my ex so I stupidly went back to him thinking this time he would be different. Big mistake. Wasted another year thinking again he'd change but finally just had to face the facts...he just didn't love me. It was hard to let go even knowing that he just wasn't it....I didn't know anything different and I wanted him to be it.
Moved on for good but then became content with just being alone. I made my life about my family, career and traveling and that was that.
Fast forward a few years and I was in the library researching another trip I was going to take. I hadn't dated since I left my ex and wasn't even looking to date. I was minding my business when my now fiance, struck up a conversation about the travel books I was looking at. I made small talk with him but didn't think anything of it.
A few weeks went by and I ran into him again.... at the library. We talked more and eventually he asked me out. I blew him off 3 times before I finally agreed to go out with him. It was a great first date but things didn't go so smoothly after that. Dating was awkward for me, because a part of me still identified myself as I was with my ex.
erplexed
But my fiance didn't give up on me and I started to relax and be myself around him. But there was another problem in that I traveled for a living for my job so while I loved having him around I still hadn't opened my heart to anything other than a friendship which made it easy for me to leave the city once it was time to move on from my job. He however, never let the distance or the wall I put up destroy our relationship. I almost ruined it. Almost.
To make a long story short I eventually realized that if I kept pushing this man away that I was going to lose him for good and would have had no one to blame but myself. I had to wake up to the fact that my ex was long gone and I was worthy and capable of being loved and loving someone else. The past was indeed the past.
We dated for a year and 4 months before he asked me to marry him. i posted our engagement story in the Wedding section.
So in my case, the person that was supposed to be in my life came and I almost didn't let him in. In my case it was so true that he showed up when and where i least expected it.
So never give up hope, I had, but I guess hope didn't give up on me. I'm the happiest I've ever been in a long, long time.
