Share Your Opinion On ......

[levette]

So I know of a married young lady who does the following and I almost find it too much.
1. She has her own car but makes her hubby drive her everywhere because she hates to drive.
2. She has her hubby take her mom to doctor appointment and shopping and out to eat.
3. He has to change diapers most of the time for their young kids
4. He basically does everything she tells him to do
5. He flies with his mother in law because she is too scared to do it by herself
He seems tired a lot as he works too and at times will fall asleep just by sitting down for a few minutes. Personally I think it's too much as he is still in his late 20s and I feel like long term it could driv him away.. is this the new normal? I know that women are queens but I feel like it's too much and he!s being treated like a servant

 

[Dee_33]

Can't hate her, he's allowing it. If he has no problem with it neither do I.

 

[MzLady78]

I agree it's too much, but if he's allowing it, that's on him.

 

[LiftedUp]

Sounds like my bf and my uncle

If he's not complaining then I don't see the issue.

 

[FearlessNik]

What exactly is your relationship to them?


1. She has her own car but makes her hubby drive her everywhere because she hates to drive. Don't see a problem
2. She has her hubby take her mom to doctor appointment and shopping and out to eat. Strange.
3. He has to change diapers most of the time for their young kids This should be a non factor. Why does this bother you? Men need to be equally involved in child rearing.
4. He basically does everything she tells him to do Some men are whipped. So are some women.
5. He flies with his mother in law because she is too scared to do it by herself Strange
He seems tired a lot as he works too and at times will fall asleep just by sitting down for a few minutes. Personally I think it's too much as he is still in his late 20s and I feel like long term it could driv him away.. is this the new normal? I know that women are queens but I feel like it's too much and he!s being treated like a servant

 

[levette]

What exactly is your relationship to them?


1. She has her own car but makes her hubby drive her everywhere because she hates to drive. Don't see a problem
2. She has her hubby take her mom to doctor appointment and shopping and out to eat. Strange.
3. He has to change diapers most of the time for their young kids This should be a non factor. Why does this bother you? Men need to be equally involved in child rearing.
4. He basically does everything she tells him to do Some men are whipped. So are some women.
5. He flies with his mother in law because she is too scared to do it by herself Strange
He seems tired a lot as he works too and at times will fall asleep just by sitting down for a few minutes. Personally I think it's too much as he is still in his late 20s and I feel like long term it could driv him away.. is this the new normal? I know that women are queens but I feel like it's too much and he!s being treated like a servant

It's a family member and I do not want him to dump her . He look so tired most of the time. She used to talk kinda rough to him at times but I think that has improved. Also I noticed he don't spend a lot of time with his side of the family but it's mainly due to distance

 

[tolly]

When and if it bothers him, he will stop. For now they are both satisfied. Regardless of how tired he looks. If he eventually see she's too much work for him and he leaves her, then good for him. Otherwise, I will see it as he is enjoying doing all these

 

[FearlessNik]

It's a family member and I do not want him to dump her . He look so tired most of the time. She used to talk kinda rough to him at times but I think that has improved. Also I noticed he don't spend a lot of time with his side of the family but it's mainly due to distance

Have you had a general chat with your cousin? You can bring up your concerns with her but I wouldn't push it too much.

 

[qchelle]

I honestly don't see a problem with anything on the list. ??

 

[LdyKamz]

So the woman is your family member? If it's working for her and he hasn't complained it wouldn't bother me. I do notice that female relatives are very keen on telling other female relatives how they should treat their men. Even when there doesn't seem to be any trouble in the relationship. If they were arguing and fighting over this that would be one thing. Otherwise it just comes off as nosy and "I know better than you how to run your relationship".

 

[LivingInPeace]

I think it's odd but it wouldn't be worth me talking to him about because it's not abusive. Therefore, it wouldn't be my concern. If he doesn't have a problem with it, I wouldn't.

 

[FlowerHair]

It's too much for me, but I know men who put up with things like that forever. You know, men love b***es.

 

[MzLady78]

I honestly don't see a problem with anything on the list. ??

Really?

All the stuff with the mother in law is extra to me. Why is she not taking care of her own mother?

 

[huxtable]

The MIL sounds like she does not have a man. The husband should find a man for MIL then 50% of his problems should be gone.

 

[ladysaraii]

Really?

All the stuff with the mother in law is extra to me. Why is she not taking care of her own mother?

The mil stuff is the only extra stuff to me. I fully plan on making my husband change most of the diapers.

 

[OhTall1]

All the stuff with the mother in law is extra to me. Why is she not taking care of her own mother?

My own mother would shut down #2 and #5.

 

[mrselle]

Sounds like a younger version of my aunt and uncle. They have been married for almost 40 years and he has always done a majority of the cooking and cleaning. They never had kids, but if they did he probably would have done a majority of the child rearing too. When my grandmother goes to visit he brings her breakfast to her room and takes her out to lunch. The dynamics seem off to outsiders, but it works for them. They've had their issues as a married couple, but none of it has been related to him doing most of the "work". Different strokes for different folks. When/if your cousin's husband gets tired enough he will say something.

 

[levette]

I guess that's how things are and I will keep my opinions to myself but I have never seen a situation like this dynamic before.

 

[Mai Tai]

I guess that's how things are and I will keep my opinions to myself but I have never seen a situation like this dynamic before.

I think that's best because honestly it's none of your business. Unless there is abuse going on, you should never be that concerned about another woman's husband to voice your unsolicited opinion. He'll be aight...

 

[NICOLETHENUMBERONE]

@levette

I agree with you...seems weird IMO. I know people like this...or at least it's the MIL or mother that wants to over utilize the son.

One example is the mother goes on trips literally every month, across the country, sometimes to the Caribbean and other Intl vacations. BUT upon moving, she wanted to use her son to move all her stuff, instead of just spending $600 and calling a moving company. It's inconsidstate for someone is working 8+ hour days, has basketball practice with his sons and is literally exhausted on the weekend after caring for HIS own family. It's just always some form of manipulation and u s e r y involved...you're spending thousands of dollars a month traveling and more shopping, but you can't call a moving company with professional movers to move you? Or just other dumb crap like expect your son who works a full time position to be your lawn care/landscaper for free? Or involuntarily "loaning" off your son as labor to your women friends. What about honoring and respecting your son and his family?

I find this to be emotional abuse or some form of blackmail that this woman is using against her son. You raised him, BUT he isnt supposed to cleave to you anymore. This isnt even biblical. And it's not like she doesn't have money but I do suspect there is some mental illness or this may be some syndrome of sort.

Having said all this, the son is not down for this and has informed his mother that he is not always available.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

I think some men need to stay busy and like when a woman gives them things to do. What do they say, idle hands are the devil's workshop, or whatever? Someone will correct me lol.

Keeping him busy might be keeping their relationship on track and keeping his mind off other things.

 

[LiftedUp]

If the rules were reversed though, as they usually are, no one would bat an eyelash or be concerned about her leaving her husband. I say let her husband cater to her *shrug*

 

[levette]

I think that's best because honestly it's none of your business. Unless there is abuse going on, you should never be that concerned about another woman's husband to voice your unsolicited opinion. He'll be aight...

 

[PJaye]

I wonder how the wife and MIL will get along without him after they work him to death.

 

[levette]

That is what concerms me

I wonder how the wife and MIL will get along without him after they work him to death.[/QUOTE

 

[PJaye]

That is what concerms me

At some point, things will come to a head and something's going to give - either he will walk away on his own or be driven into an early grave.

 

[qchelle]

Really?

All the stuff with the mother in law is extra to me. Why is she not taking care of her own mother?

Yea. Id say that she's making sure her mom is taken care of...Which is still good. I've heard married men start a sentence akin to "I have to take my MIL..." my dad included. I don't think it's at all strange to have your husband do stuff for your mom.

 

[awhyley]

Does she love this man? It sounds as if she wants a slave, not a husband. Does she fear driving? Because I don't like to drive either, but I wouldn't make my husband my chauffeur. Methinks that she has irrational fears that need to be worked on. He's a pushover, and they both will need a therapist to keep their marriage together, cause this is going to get old fast.

 

[movingforward13]

Well the family member is very close so actually it will have an impact on me and my spouse if they split up and I will leave it at that

Interesting- maybe you can focus on building up your relationship to be very strong so that other relationships won't impact it.

 

[Mai Tai]

Well the family member is very close so actually it will have an impact on me and my spouse if they split up and I will leave it at that

That's odd. I can't imagine one single breakup/divorce situation that would directly affect my marriage. I mean even if my parents divorced, I would be very sad but my marriage will go on. No one is closer to me, outside of my husband, than my parents.

Can you expand on this concept and how it works without telling us all of your business? If not I completely understand.