*Minor Vent* Need your Opinion.....

[lux10023]

hey divaaaa

i would brush up on the Russian community--thats how Russian men are...he seems like a typical Russian man..they are cool...they are very over the top and fancy they dont do anything low key they are top dollar about everything
and the russians in nyc money is longggggggggggggg

ETA--youve met his mom and family--your in..let me know when the wedding is...russian men take care of you!!!


so enjoy!
aint madatcha diva...i know what it is! (wink)

 

[Starronda]

hey divaaaa

i would brush up on the Russian community--thats how Russian men are...he seems like a typical Russian man..they are cool...they are very over the top and fancy they dont do anything low key they are top dollar about everything
and the russians in nyc money is longggggggggggggg

ETA--youve met his mom and family--your in..let me know when the wedding is...russian men take care of you!!!


so enjoy!
aint madatcha diva...i know what it is! (wink)

I was told this before by someone else, and it’s obviously true! I hear a few things are just typical for a Russian man. You’re right, nothing is low key, everything is over the top, and being that I didn’t come from money, it’s just something I need to get use to. I’m gonna focus on enjoying the time I spend with him and try to not let these things bother me.

Yes, I will enjoy and thanks for “getting” it J…and from your post, YES, you know what it is..Luv it!

 

[firecracker]

I hope seeking a partner doesn't equate to going halves. Like a partner in business means. Well unless we talking about a 80/20 partnership...................LOL

Different strokes for different folks. I wish I would love a man just because and he is struggling. NO ROMANCE W/O FINANCE!

 

[firecracker]

Well I like what I like...I also said I have my own cash and personally just dont do broke...glad you love it though, thanks!

okkkkkkkkkkkk! I damn shol ain't dealing with no broke others let alone my own kind. Girl keep it pushing and do you!

 

[Starronda]

okkkkkkkkkkkk! I damn shol ain't dealing with no broke others let alone my own kind. Girl keep it pushing and do you!

Thanks Firecracker

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I hope seeking a partner doesn't equate to going halves. Like a partner in business means. Well unless we talking about a 80/20 partnership...................LOL

Different strokes for different folks. I wish I would love a man just because and he is struggling. NO ROMANCE W/O FINANCE!

I'm slightly confused as to what you're talking about. I didn't see anyone say women shouldn't find a man that has a desirable level of income. What I did read and what I wrote myself is that it seems that OP ONLY loves his income and status and the places he takes her, which she also stated she always dates men with money and go to fancy places and travel.

I wasn't going to even reply anymore but I wonder what sets this man apart from the other men you've dated OP? Is it because he loves you and is showing you commitment? What about him and his personality do you actually like?

You don't have to answer really it's just some of the things I wondered. Even when you replied, I didn't feel like you answered anyones questions but I think if you are considering marrying him, you should think about it for yourself. Otherwise those annoying things he do may become so irritating that they are deal breakers down the line.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

We only have sex twice a day when I’m there on the weekends..I needs WAY more than this, never brought this up to him yet.

^^

Well dang! Go 'head girlie!


lol....

Those don't really seem like dealbreakers, actually it sounds like you really don't like him and you are only keeping him around because he has money. The money doesn't matter..especially if he ain't giving some of it to you...

I would keep my options open...

^^THIS!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Imo, the things you mentioned wouldn't automatically be a deal breaker for ME personally (then again, I'm going through a dry spell in the man department so... ), but I can see how SOME of the things you mentioned would be a little annoying after a while.

Unfortunately, there isn't any PERFECT man. Even the ones that seemed to have the best qualities when you first started dating, will end up having SOME type of annying trait that drives you up the wall after months/years of dating. It's just a fact of nature. The question is, can you HANDLE those annoying traits? Do his annoying traits out weigh the good? If so, then ditch him!

But if he's treating you nicely, doing nice things for you, making it known to friends and family members that you ARE his gf and someone special to him, then....Idk...I wouldn't give that up too easily. Some women would LOVE if a man treated them this way. Again, that's not to say that YOU have to stay with him, but if you do dump him, jut know that there aren't any perfect men, but that maybe you need to find a man who is less....annoying to you lol.


BTW...if that is a picture of him in your siggy, then girl...he is fine!

 

[Starronda]

I'm slightly confused as to what you're talking about. I didn't see anyone say women shouldn't find a man that has a desirable level of income. What I did read and what I wrote myself is that it seems that OP ONLY loves his income and status and the places he takes her, which she also stated she always dates men with money and go to fancy places and travel.

I wasn't going to even reply anymore but I wonder what sets this man apart from the other men you've dated OP? Is it because he loves you and is showing you commitment? What about him and his personality do you actually like?

You don't have to answer really it's just some of the things I wondered. Even when you replied, I didn't feel like you answered anyones questions but I think if you are considering marrying him, you should think about it for yourself. Otherwise those annoying things he do may become so irritating that they are deal breakers down the line.

Marriage? . What sets him apart:

He's romantic
caring
understanding
faithful
First man I've trusted in years
true gentleman
protects me
talks future wise when he talks about "us"
trusts me 100%
motivates me
Adores me

 

[loolalooh]

sounds like you only like him because of what he has/does (money, lifestyle, words), but his actual personality (vain, not affectionate, actual relationship isnt what you want) doesnt even work for you at all.

this is literally the personification of "good on paper."

This right here. It doesn't sound like you and him are a good match.

 

[Starronda]

^^

Well dang! Go 'head girlie!


lol....






^^THIS!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Imo, the things you mentioned wouldn't automatically be a deal breaker for ME personally (then again, I'm going through a dry spell in the man department so... ), but I can see how SOME of the things you mentioned would be a little annoying after a while.

Unfortunately, there isn't any PERFECT man. Even the ones that seemed to have the best qualities when you first started dating, will end up having SOME type of annying trait that drives you up the wall after months/years of dating. It's just a fact of nature. The question is, can you HANDLE those annoying traits? Do his annoying traits out weigh the good? If so, then ditch him!

But if he's treating you nicely, doing nice things for you, making it known to friends and family members that you ARE his gf and someone special to him, then....Idk...I wouldn't give that up too easily. Some women would LOVE if a man treated them this way. Again, that's not to say that YOU have to stay with him, but if you do dump him, jut know that there aren't any perfect men, but that maybe you need to find a man who is less....annoying to you lol.


BTW...if that is a picture of him in your siggy, then girl...he is fine!

True, there are no perfect men out there, and I understand that completely. I love him very much, so the annoying traits I will just have to deal with. I know for sure I do things that annoy the hell out of him also lol. I’m obvilusly having a drama queen moment about the whole situation lol

Yes, he treats me very well, does nice things, friend and family know that I AM his girl 100%.

Ps: Yes, that’s him in the siggy and thanks girl!

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Marriage? . What sets him apart:

He's romantic
caring
understanding
faithful
First man I've trusted in years
true gentleman
protects me
talks future wise when he talks about "us"
trusts me 100%
motivates me
Adores me

]

I just assumed since you valued him introducing you to his family and you meeting more family that you considered marriage. Guess I was wrong lol

 

[meesch]

I hope seeking a partner doesn't equate to going halves. Like a partner in business means. Well unless we talking about a 80/20 partnership...................LOL

Different strokes for different folks. I wish I would love a man just because and he is struggling. NO ROMANCE W/O FINANCE!

okkkkkkkkkkkk! I damn shol ain't dealing with no broke others let alone my own kind. Girl keep it pushing and do you!

who said anything about dealing with broke men?

 

[Honi]

I see nothing wrong other than him not taking you to the mani, pedi and massage EVERY Thursday too. Whats up with that?

Did he grow up in the States or did he come to the States at a certain age?

If it gets on your nerves regarding what you wanna eat just tell him you wanna eat what the hell you want.

He's older so his libido ain't like yours Not saying it's with all men in their 40's but just sayin...

Bottom line is you need to communicate a little more. Not just the lovey dovey stuff. Tell the man if something is bothering you.

 

[ambergirl]

hey divaaaa

i would brush up on the Russian community--thats how Russian men are...he seems like a typical Russian man..they are cool...they are very over the top and fancy they dont do anything low key they are top dollar about everything
and the russians in nyc money is longggggggggggggg

ETA--youve met his mom and family--your in..let me know when the wedding is...russian men take care of you!!!


so enjoy!
aint madatcha diva...i know what it is! (wink)

Yeah, to me this sounds like typical Russian dude.

As for the coloring....you think you're going to get more than twice a day from 40+ man?

Unless you want him to start screaming you should just stock up on batteries.

 

[Cichelle]

Annoying:
Use to bother me that he gets a massage, mani and pedi each Thursday *doesn’t bother me as much now*


HATE that he gets his eyebrows waxed (even though my other boyfriend who was also white did the same)


Everything has to have a label on it (Versace sunglasses, Fendi suits etc) and sometimes I feel a little silly when he’s all dressed up and I have on a damn H&M or dress from BeBe.



We only have sex twice a day when I’m there on the weekends..I needs WAY more than this, never brought this up to him yet.



Needs to be more affectionate, when I bring it to his attention, he does it…but at that point, it seems forced


He’s always looking in a damn mirror


Pays too much attention to what people “think” of him and his image.


Things have to be a certain way at his house (bed has to be made a certain way, so I don’t bother doing it anymore, things in the fridge a certain way, he would prefer me eat things that he enjoys=healthy foods each time I’m there)


Always suggesting what I should eat when we go out (thought this was cute when we first started dating, totally annoyed at it now)

There is no way I would be compatible with the individual described above. For one, I cannot live with neat freaks/control freaks, nor could I spend my life with someone who is so focused on appearance, what other people think and who is so into labels. There are values behind all that. The sexual incompatibility would be the absolute last straw. IMO, those are incompatibilites that do not bode well for the long term.

I am not saying he is a bad person. I have no idea. Maybe what you put down as the pros about him will compensate for the annoyance you feel not too far into the relationship. You'll have to imagine the long term and whether it's all worth it, of course. It might be for you.

 

[Starronda]

Yeah, to me this sounds like typical Russian dude.

As for the coloring....you think you're going to get more than twice a day from 40+ man?

Unless you want him to start screaming you should just stock up on batteries.

@ start screaming help! I will let him know how I feel about this first, then if all fails, extra batteries it tis

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Are you creeping with my husband!?!


Chile...boo. Men are the same. He is a little controlling, but you have to speak up. If you don't speak up he will continue this behavior. However, if you do speak up, and he trips and ignores you, THEN you put him into his place. He did try to be more affectionate when you asked, but even then you didn't appreciate that....

(I hate to say it...but some people are single and STAY SINGLE because they have TOOO MANY DEALBREAKERS...looking for perfection....)

Some of this is part idiosynchrasis, a little controlling (what do you want a lil wimp?), and may even be a little cultural. Relationships are about communication. Tell him what you need (put your hand on your hip with a sly smile) and want---and I bet he'll comply...Of course initially it will seem forced, for most men being more affectionate is HARD, so they need time...AT LEAST HE TRIED........Then you give him a "lil reward" and he'll be busting his butt off to please you all the time.....
Enjoy your Russian delight.

PS: Sex twice a day? Ya'll doing better than married folks.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I see nothing wrong other than him not taking you to the mani, pedi and massage EVERY Thursday too. Whats up with that?

Did he grow up in the States or did he come to the States at a certain age?

If it gets on your nerves regarding what you wanna eat just tell him you wanna eat what the hell you want.

He's older so his libido ain't like yours Not saying it's with all men in their 40's but just sayin...

Bottom line is you need to communicate a little more. Not just the lovey dovey stuff. Tell the man if something is bothering you.

BINGO!
I can only say thanks once.
Chile I married a caveman. Meat and Potatoes man but he doesn't run over me. Except for the food & appearances thing (but he does only wear big name brands which I really couldn't care less...that's his THING and I respect that....DH also respects that I too like the finer things in life so he doesn't give horrible gifts either) he is very much like your Russian guy.

I hope everything works out.

 

[kandake]

All I wanna say is. Damn you want a lot of sex. I didn't know there were women made like you. Twice a day three days in a row is plenty for me. Maybe one more session thrown in for good measure would suffice...

Goodness gracious.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

Starronda -- My best best friend is Russian and it's the Russian culture. That is who they are. Labels, the whole nine ( i dunno bout da sex cuz she's married to an American man lololol and dats her business). But she is my best friend. Her brother just moved here from Russia two years ago and he loves it here (and the black women -- i digress)

enjoy it because in this life is not a rehearsal. Live and enjoy him!!! it's just something you have to get use to.

 

[Starronda]

All I wanna say is. Damn you want a lot of sex. I didn't know there were women made like you. Twice a day three days in a row is plenty for me. Maybe one more session thrown in for good measure would suffice...

Goodness gracious.

Ok, soooo I won't even tell you how many times my toys come out during the week. I figured we were slackin with the sex..Even when we're done, after a few minutes I could use another round *waits for someone to agree*

 

[MissJ]

You mentioned his mother and sister. Does he have a father in his life, or was he raised only by his mother? If so, that could be the reason he behaves like women do regarding his appearance. He may not know any other way.

 

[Starronda]

@Starronda -- My best best friend is Russian and it's the Russian culture. That is who they are. Labels, the whole nine ( i dunno bout da sex cuz she's married to an American man lololol and dats her business). But she is my best friend. Her brother just moved here from Russia two years ago and he loves it here (and the black women -- i digress)

enjoy it because in this life is not a rehearsal. Live and enjoy him!!! it's just something you have to get use to.

Thanks ThatJerseyGirl....Yes, I'm learning to just go with it. Just something a little different for me. I always date white men, but I've never dated a Russian man so it's something new. Thanks so much for the information

 

[Starronda]

You mentioned his mother and sister. Does he have a father in his life, or was he raised only by his mother? If so, that could be the reason he behaves like women do regarding his appearance. He may not know any other way.

His parents have been divorced for years. He's very close to his family, certainly his mom and sister. His father lives further away, I'll be meeting him at the wedding in July

 

[kandake]

Ok, soooo I won't even tell you how many times my toys come out during the week. I figured we were slackin with the sex..Even when we're done, after a few minutes I could use another round *waits for someone to agree*

Ok, I agree with multiple rounds.

 

[Arcadian]

Listen, I can't even get my husband into a Walmart. He is what he is OP! Let him be great! I think however that you do have to speak up about what you do or don't like in the relationship. That goes a long way to him and you making adjustments that both of you can handle for the long term. Everyone makes compromises in relationships, its a must to keep the peace in many ways, and it does help to keep the relationship strong. But its never good if you (or he) is the one that always has to compromise because that can build resentment.

The sex thing... lol I only get it twice a day when he or me have been away from each other for a month, and we certainly can't keep that up, we old now! Last time we had marathon sex he ended up with a strawberry on his thang from all the friction

However, none of what I see you complain about are deal breakers to me, but I think that its time that you speak to HIM about these things and get his input.

-A

 

[Bublin]

Regarding the sex have you thought that maybe he doesn't want to scr*w all weekend long and may want to have other quality time with you?
Since you guys only see each other at weekends and travel to see each other, not to mention he has what sounds like a stressful/intense occupation, he may just want your company and not just your sex.

You mention your clothes are not labels...maybe you should get out of the bedroom and go shopping with him - walk past those shops and point out things you like!!!

I say enjoy but if you feel in your gut that he is not for you then end the relationship.

btw - how do you get every weekend free if you have a child?

 

[Theo]

Those things seem more like quirks than dealbreakers lol.

 

[Zuleika]

who said anything about dealing with broke men?

Well you said you wanted a partner not a sponsor. Where did the OP say she was looking for this? I can see why firecracker said what she said...

 

[meesch]

Well you said you wanted a partner not a sponsor. Where did the OP say she was looking for this? I can see why firecracker said what she said...

i didnt say thats what she was looking for. to my mind, dating a man for his money when you think his personality sucks = sponsor. and NOT dating a man FOR his money does not mean you date broke men. it just means there are actually other things about him that make you want him around.

i know in these parts im like the only chick thats not interested in checking a man's bank account before i go out with him tho, so lets not even have the conversation about how much money a man needs to be making

eta: question: why is it every time on this forum if someone says they dont need to date rich men, people start assuming they date broke men? as if there is no middle ground between rich and bum. too many false dichotomies in this place.