Share Your Opinion On ......
- Thread starter levette
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FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
I would be irritated if someone from the outside looking in commented on the things that my SO does for me.
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
That's because it's bold, intrusive, and extremely disrespectful.
No offense OP but for real...I'd be like "How rude of you to stack what my husband does for me against your personal level of tolerability? Who nailed you to the Cross and made you my Lord & Savior?"
If that man is tired...let him sleep so he can wake up and continue to be a blessing to his wife. My husband does a lot of things to make my life super convenient, a lot of times in complete disregard to his own exhaustion. That's what husbands do. And in return, because he loves to make my life as leisurely as possible, I take impeccable care of him. Marriage is a give and take. You are only seeing one side of the coin.
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NICOLETHENUMBERONE
Well-Known Member
Deleted post.
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prettyinpurple
Well-Known Member
Right?
How are you gonna tell another woman that her husband does too much for her? That's ridiculous. Nothing wrong with him taking care of his wife in this way. Let that woman be and let her keep winning.
I hate it when women suggest that someone's SO or spouse should do less for them. There is no such thing in my world.
prettyinpurple
Well-Known Member
Amen.
When I see women do this IRL, I can tell that their husbands do nothing for them and they wish that their husband did more (jealousy pretty much). You know the whole "I never had it, why should you". I feel that these woman do the same thing to their daughters when the daughters get a nice man that caters to them.
A bossy woman and a beta male who has acts of service as his love language go together quite well 
.
I do notice when one partner does loads more than the other, but at the end of the day I place more importance on how that partner reacts to it.
Last Christmas I spent time with a couple throwing a small party. As the night wore on I realised that she had asked the husband to serve the drinks, prepare the food, wash the dishes, put the kids to bed, sit with the kids when they woke up and after that he did more clearing of tables, then she ordered him to wrap all the kids presents. That was at least 20 presents to gift wrap, but could be more.
This whole time my friend sat down and drank wine
However in that whole time I never saw him react badly, no micro-expressions, or anything. Taking it back to the early days when they were just sleeping together he used to get up before she woke and prepare her things and cook her breakfast without it being requested. I think it is just his natural way.
.I do notice when one partner does loads more than the other, but at the end of the day I place more importance on how that partner reacts to it.
Last Christmas I spent time with a couple throwing a small party. As the night wore on I realised that she had asked the husband to serve the drinks, prepare the food, wash the dishes, put the kids to bed, sit with the kids when they woke up and after that he did more clearing of tables, then she ordered him to wrap all the kids presents. That was at least 20 presents to gift wrap, but could be more.
This whole time my friend sat down and drank wine
However in that whole time I never saw him react badly, no micro-expressions, or anything. Taking it back to the early days when they were just sleeping together he used to get up before she woke and prepare her things and cook her breakfast without it being requested. I think it is just his natural way.
Mai Tai
Miss Nigeria-America
Apologizing early for this wall of text.
Funny story...Now my husband is an EXTREMELY neat person (like OCD neat). His Mom say's he's been like that since he could walk. Whether we are at home or out eating, he always has to clear the table and will even help the waiter/waitress bus our table and sweep crumbs. We were out eating at a little taco joint and as we were concluding our meal he started clearing the table grabbing both of our trash, napkins, etc to take to the garbage can. I mean it was so small of a gesture but this woman sitting next to us made such a big deal about it.
As soon as he walked away she was like... "OMG!!!! He cleared the entire table??? How did you teach him to do this? My husband barely lifts a finger! Can I take a picture to send to my husband? How long have you been married?..." She appeared so thirsty that I was just shocked into silence and started to feel bad for her.
The moral of this story is that soooo many women are the mules of their family and are often conditioned to believe that they should carry the majority of their household's workload without any regard from their spouse. When they witness a woman whose husband actually chips in it's such a foreign concept that they either feel envy, admiration, and/or anger. It never occurs to them that a man who values his wife WANTS to make her life easy and WANTS to collaborate with her on household/family responsibilities. Even if OP does come back with more details, I am still team #LetHerBeGreat.
prettyinpurple
Well-Known Member
Well that's sad. Hopefully her husband steps us.
Yes, let the wife in the OP be great.
For everyone else: Don't open your mouth to tell a woman that her husband does too much for her. That's the last thing we should be saying to each other. Let her be great.
This thread got me heated. I hate it when women play other women this way.
God_Favor
Well-Known Member
Wow, that's scary that someone's else relationship has a great impact on your life. I think you should keep your opinions about their lives to yourself. Sounds like you are really concern and want the best for him but you are on outside looking in. He may be happy and content with how things are.
levette
Well-Known Member
True
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ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
You are not required to let anyone move in with you. If she's grown enough to be a wife and mom, she's grown enough to start securing herself now just in case.
I say this as an older sister. I know it's easier said than done
Virtuosa
Well-Known Member
Meh. Sounds like my DH. Twice a year, DH, his father, or one of his brothers has to drive to Florida to pick up or drop off his snowbird Grandma at her vacation home in Florida. She refuses to take a plane, Lol. My husband drives me everywhere while my car sits in the garage. He does most of the chores but I do most of the cooking. After spending tine with my in laws I realized that my uber alpha suegro raised his 4 sons to do 2 things: 1. Respect and listen to dad and 2. Treat my wife like a queen. Once all the boys started working jobs as teenagers, if mom wanted something they knew they had to collaborate to make it happen . I feel blessed that they treat me the same way. Often times my in laws present me with random gifts I mention liking in passing to my DH. We take care of each other. It feels good.
Rastafarai
Well-Known Member
My husband does all the cooking and most of the cleaning. Hubby even washes and fold my undies. We have had our power struggles but it works for us and he truly adores and covers me.
I admit I do take advantage of his attentiveness but I also take care of him. He is pampered and gets weekly foot, back and neck massages so he can re-energize for the following week. And ladies, I put that work into my massages. The man is knocked the hell out after I am done.
Good men need incentives and tokens of appreciation.
I think if the husband in the OP is looking tired and exhausted, a caring wife should take notice and try to help, make other arrangements or give the hubster a break. We often don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. There are always other women lurking in the bushes, hoping to find an opening.
I admit I do take advantage of his attentiveness but I also take care of him. He is pampered and gets weekly foot, back and neck massages so he can re-energize for the following week. And ladies, I put that work into my massages. The man is knocked the hell out after I am done.
Good men need incentives and tokens of appreciation.I think if the husband in the OP is looking tired and exhausted, a caring wife should take notice and try to help, make other arrangements or give the hubster a break. We often don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. There are always other women lurking in the bushes, hoping to find an opening.
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NaturalShe94
Well-Known Member
This sounds a lot like an aunt and uncle I have. She doesn't love him though, we know that. Like it's really so obvious.
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